My feelings are just as ambivalent, but different in character. Sometimes I do wish that more people looked at my instagram, but the truth is that I've motivated a lot of artistic improvement by putting my drawings and paintings up in a way that my friends can send little heart reactions to. I've done a lot of writing just because a small number of people will read it on my website.
There was one time in my life when I was living alone and didn't have the kind of social media use I do now, and it was miserable. Group chats with high school friends kept me alive during the pandemic.
Even outside of social media, though, I can tell that my constant thirst for Content is unhealthy. I am the stereotypical information junkie who doesn't want to be alone with her own thoughts for a split second.
One thing I think is interesting is that small social media leaves out some pernicious dynamics and maintains others. Matt Bluelander was talking about Mastodon being too dopaminey for him, even while I can tell that it's healthier for me than the constant spats of Twitter. RSS consumption of people's blogs is just as "refresh-consume-refresh-consume" for me as the big Internet, even when I think I'm getting a lot more value from the kinds of things it turns up.