From this quote we can see the outcome of all the guilt and shame David felt for having homosexual relations. David believes that he is going to die due to the nonredeemable actions he's done. His journey to death has already begun due to this as well. I think that the societal judgments of homosexuality caused David to have negative thoughts about his life and body in the end. When he was with Hella he could push it aside but now that he is alone he's faced with the harshness of his reality. That how he's been living his life is 'wrong'.