This adjective wasn't necessary, they could have just said, "The metal rod was slid into the graduated cylinder".

There doesn't need to be a sub header introducing each step. Especially if the sub header is introducing new materials. It is better to just say, the 50mL beaker was filled with solution B.

This is active voice, not passive.

There is no numbers from their data, just explaining that they calculated it.

If a scale is being used, it needs to be said if it is an electric scale or digital scale.