. I put it in first gear and thenI take my foot off the clutch. I get out, close the door, andwatch it plow softly into the water. The headlights reach in asthey go down, searching, still lighted even after the waterswirls over the back end. I wait. The wires short out. It is allfinally dark. And then there is only the water, the sound of itgoing and running and going and running and running

We go down in a clinch andcome up swinging hard, for all we're worth, with our fists

. The picture is very clear in my mind.

That picture. I never look at it anymore. A few months ago, Idon't know why, I got his picture out and tacked it on thewall. I felt good about Henry at the time, close to him. I feltgood having his picture on the wall, until one night when Iwas looking at television. I was a little drunk and stoned. Ilooked up at the wall and Henry was staring at me. I don'tknow what it was, but his smile had changed, or maybe itwas gone. All I know is I couldn't stay in the same room withthat picture.

reservation

So we went and satdown. There was still blood going down Henry's chin, but hedidn't notice it and no one said anything even though everytime he took a bite of his bread his blood fell onto it until hewas eating his own blood mixed in with the food

Henry must have known what I was up to. Herushed from his chair and shoved me out of the way, againstthe wall.

Iheard his teeth click at something. I looked over, and he'dbitten through his lip. Blood was going down his chin.

But it was the kind of stillnessthat you see in a rabbit when it freezes and before it will bolt

Money still came very easy

It was afact: Henry was jumpy and mean.

now you couldn't get him to laugh, or when he did it wasmore the sound of a man choking,

GROWING UP ETHNIC IN AMERICA

ut he was quiet, soquiet, and never comfortable sitting still anywhere but al-ways up and moving around.

Henry was very different, andI'll say this: the change was no good

I always thought of it ashis car while he was gone, even though when he left he said,"Now it's yours," and threw me his key

It was at least three years before Henry came home

He wasn't such a hot letter writer, andonly got off two before the enemy caught him

1970,

North Dakota

We liked to tease him that they reallywanted him for his Indian nose. He had a nose big and sharpas a hatche

He was built like a brickouthous

I don't wonder

We gothome just in time, it turned out, for the army to rememberHenry had signed up to join it

"Jump on my shoulders." So she did that, and her hairreached down past his waist, and he started twirling, this wayand that, so her hair was flung out from side to side."I always wondered what it was like to have long prettyhair," Henry says. Well we laughed. It was a funny sight, theway he did it.

She was standing on a chair, but still, whenshe unclipped her buns the hair reached all the way to theground

Her familyreally took to us. They fed us and put us up. We had our owntent to live in by their house, and the kids would be in andout of there all day and night.

Susy.

You might doze off, sometimes, but before you know ityou're up again, like an animal in nature. You never feel likeyou have to sleep hard or put away the world. And thingswould grow up there. One day just dirt or moss, the next dayflowers and long grass

never wanted to leave

All her hair was in buns around her ears, that's the first thingI noticed about her.

t the girl.

The air was not toostill, not too windy either. When the dust rises up and hangsin the air around the dancers like that, I feel good

one place with willows. I remember Ilay under those trees and it was comfortable. So comfortable.The branches bent down all around me like a tent or a stable

We started off toward the Lit-tle Knife River and Mandaree in Fort Berthold and then wefound ourselves down in Wakpala somehow, and then sud-denly we were over in Montana on the Rocky Boy, and yetthe summer was not even half over.

That carreposed, calm and gleaming, a FOR SALE sign in its left frontwindow.

Really asif it was alive.

There it was, parked, large as life.

Jewel Bearing Plant

he first time we saw it! I'll tell you when we first saw it.

I also bought that red Olds I mentioned,along with Henry

d I lost it quick

I was only sixteen

A total loss.

I went on managing. I soon became partowner, and of course there was no stopping me then. Itwasn't long before the whole thing was mine

sooner than you know it I was managing the Joliet.

and that waswhere my first big break happened

I sold spiritual bouquets for themission door to door. The nuns let me keep a percentage

I was the onlykid they let in the American Legion Hall to shine shoes

. I had atouch for it, unusual in a Chippewa

We owned it together untilhis boots filled with water on a windy night and he boughtout my share. Now Henry owns the whole car, and hisyounger brother Lyman (that's myself), Lyman walks every-where he goes

My one talent was I could always make money.

As I got off the bus, my little brothers and sisters ran upto meet me. They were yelling and screaming. I thought theywere happy to see me, but when I opened the door to our shack,I saw that everything we owned was neatly packed in cardboardboxes

For the rest of the reading period I kept getting angrier andangrier at myself. I should have read

My mouth wasdry. My eyes began to water. I could not begin.

. I was so nervous andscared at that moment when everyone’s eyes were on me that Iwished I were with Papá and Roberto picking cotton

Finally, after struggling for English words, I managed to tell herthat I wanted to enroll in the sixth grade

When Papá and Roberto left for work, I felt relief

The next morning I could hardly move. My body ached allover. I felt little control over my arms and legs. This feeling wenton every morning for days until my muscles finally got used tothe work

. “Quince,”

Finally the mountains aroundthe valley reached out and swallowed the sun

Suddenly I noticed Papá’s face turn pale as he lookeddown the road. “Here comes the school bus,” he whisperedloudly in alarm. Instinctively, Roberto and I ran and hid in thevineyards. We did not want to get in trouble for not going toschool.

the vineyard

Panchito

The garage was worn out by the years. It had no windows.The walls, eaten by termites, strained to support the roof full ofholes. The dirt floor, populated by earth worms, looked like a grayroad map.

“We have work! Mr. Sullivan said we can stay there the wholeseason,”

He lives in a big white house with a fencearound it.

we drove into a labor camp near Fresno.

more dents and nicks it acquired the more Mamá liked it

Roberto carried the two big boxesand I carried the two smaller ones

Papá then insisted on knowing who the original ownerwas. He never did find out from the car salesman, but he boughtthe car anyway. Papá figured the original owner must have beenan important man because behind the rear seat of the car he founda blue necktie

Thethought of having to move to Fresno4 and knowing what was instore for me there brought tears to my eyes

When I opened the front door tothe shack, I stopped. Everything we owned was neatly packed incardboard boxes.

Papá did not say a word. With both handson the wheel, he stared at the dirt road. My older brother, Roberto,was also silent.

Those were the words I waited for twelvehours a day, every day, seven days a week, week after week. Andthe thought of not hearing them again saddened me.

Ito

the sun had tired and sunk

That Sunday was the last time Isaw him.

he was from Jalisco, the same statein Mexico my family was from

I liked him

As the last days of August disappeared, so did the numberof braceros. Sunday, only one—the best picker—came to work

braceros

did not smile. It was natural.

When things were really bad for the fam- 40ily, they boiled clean sugarcane pulp to makewhat Lili called her special sweet water tea. Itwas supposed to suppress gas and kill thevermin in the stomach that made poor children hungry

The boy kept his eyes on his book as they ate"Louder!" urged Lili. 30 their supper that night. Usually Guy and Lili"Freedom is on my mind!" yelled the boy. would not have allowed that, but this was a"Why don't you start, son?" said Guy. "If special occasion.

forefathers of Haitaround her waist and stopped to listen, ian independence

It was obvious that this was a speech writ- 35"He already knows his speech:' Lili told ten by a European man,

il wall of fire is rising and in the ashes, IThe boy took back the book from his fa- see the bones of my people. Not only those peother. His face was crimped in an of-course- 1- pie whose dark hollow faces I see daily in theremember look as he searched for page forty. fields, but all those souls who have gone ahead"Bonk-man," Guy struggled with the let- to haunt my dreams. At night I reliue onceters of the slave revolutionary's name as he more the last caressesfrom the hand of a lovlooked over his son's shoulders. {(I see some ingfather, a valiant love, a belovedfriend."

Remember what you are:' Lili said, "a their only child. The experience left themgreat rebel leader. Remember, it is the revolu- both with a strange feeling that they could notlion:'

the slave revolutionary's name

old kerosene lamp

"My love,Boukman is the hero of the play:'

Liligot up from the floor and inclined herface towards her husband's in order to receive her nightly peck on the cheek.

Lycee Jean-Jacques

clay floor

seven-year-old son-Little Gu

spreading cornmealmush on banana leaves for their supper

their one-room home

his tinyshack.

Guy said