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  1. Sep 2020
  2. www.ascd.org www.ascd.org
    The Two-Minute Relationship Builder
    5
    1. Hschiller 03 Sep 2020
      Allotting time for shorter conversations can also be beneficial as long as they occur every day (not counting weekends) because consistency is what "allows the walls to come down," Smith continues. Thus "half a minute a day for 10 days is better than one 20-minute conversation because [the student] needs that ongoing connection to relax."

      I agree and feel that checking in with kids on a continual bases allows for the teacher to not only learn more about the child overtime- but it shows that they are genuinely interested in connecting with them.

    2. Hschiller 03 Sep 2020
      If [your approach is] authentic, the child will know it."

      I feel this everyday when I walk into school. Children know when you are genuine and authentic. If you care about them and genuinely listen, you always walk away with more. The power of listening is so important.

    3. Hschiller 03 Sep 2020
      Kitzmann ultimately found that the students she worked with were "less disruptive, changed their attitudes, and had a stronger drive to succeed in school" after exposure to the Two-by Ten strategy. In addition, the class as a whole was "running more smoothly."

      This reminds me that the student's who use their behavior as a way to gain attention can feel at ease and begin to use words instead of actions to get the attention they need and are seeking from the adults the surround them. The Two- by -Ten strategy allows the child to access teacher attention without using behavior that is inappropriate in order to receive that need.

    4. Hschiller 03 Sep 2020
      "Safety is a fundamental human need and if kids don't feel it, they're going to ask for it," he says. "Oddly, the way they sometimes ask for it is to act out."

      I have had a student, an amazing, charismatic yet " disruptive student" feel the need to act out in certain ways in order to see if they can trust, push away and connect with other adults. This one child of mine said to me- "I hold you responsible for all of the adults in my life." I will always remember these words. I will not be able to change or want to be responsible for every adult and their behavior however this student felt safe enough to tell me this and safe enough to feel this way. It helps me see past some of the more extreme behavior so I can see and communicate with him on a deeper level.

    5. Hschiller 03 Sep 2020
      What if instead of going head-to-head with your most challenging student, you created an ally in him

      I am already hooked by the first statement. Unfortunately it is sometimes natural for educators to go head- to head with students. Maybe it is to try to push respect on them, however I believe respect needs to be earned over time.

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    ascd.org/publications/newsletters/education_update/jul14/vol56/num07/The_Two-Minute_Relationship_Builder.aspx