The idea of self-reflection did not appear in my first draft because I didn't consider reading back my freewriting. After examining my first freewrite I was filled with nostalgia. It was only a few months ago, but I felt like I was a completely different person than the one who wrote the freewrite. My priorities and interests were different than it was at the beginning of the semester. After seeing the difference of one semester, I wondered what my reaction would be after a year. Would I smile about how far I'd come, laugh about how silly the freewrite was, or be totally confused by the page? This experience of looking back at my honest self was a refreshing time of introspection.

I added a specific detail - something I really kept in mind when I was freewriting in high school. I didn't mention diction in the original freewrite but it was definitely one of the factors that prevented me from enjoying the exercise as much as I could have. I thought a specific detail would demonstrate how constrained I felt. Submitting the work was so prominent in my mind that I thought about each individual word before writing it.

As the highlighted part indicates, this piece is a much-revised version of my first freewrite. I distinctly remember the sense of freedom when freewriting for the first time. There were no rules or criteria. I could literally write gibberish or be introspective. That feeling decreased as I kept doing more freewrites. However, the first time convinced me that freewriting was beneficial to me as a writer. So, I decided to expand on that work because the original one branched off into my anxieties about school and some terrible jokes. This edited piece seeks to tell the reader why freewriting is valuable to me.

The conclusion in the first draft felt rushed and untruthful. I took the advice I received in conferences and reflected on how I felt about basketball. During a game or after a game, I would metaphorically step out of the intensity and think about my feelings. When I tried to come up with a meaningful conclusion, there typically was no clear one. My emotions were a mix of joy from playing with friends and frustration if I was missing a lot of shots or losing the game. So instead of writing a fake conclusion, I tried to communicate that I was still confused. I liked the analogy of a bank shot because it highlighted how my intention mattered. Since I can't figure out my intention, I wrote about what confused me.

I wanted to include the theme of identity within the essay because it received good feedback during conferences. The individual practice session I held before intramurals was the best way to convey the conflict of my identity as a basketball player. It was tricky balancing the internal monologue and actions. instead of listing out my emotions during practice, I brainstormed habits I had after a missed shot. I would clap my hands in aggravation most of the time. I think my other reactions were mostly emotional because I'm not a very expressive person. This paragraph included more thought verbs than I would have liked, but it was necessary to be introspective because it expanded on a main idea in the essay.

There used to be a paragraph here outlining some 1 on 1 games I played with my two friends. However, I decided to scrap it after the thought verb exercise. There were many circles on the page so I wrote an entirely new paragraph that was structured around details. It was easier to write the 3 on 3 game with verbs because I could imagine the action unfolding, like it would in a movie.

My first draft was severely lacking in context. It wasn't clear whether I was playing an intramural game or a pick-up game. I included the kind of basketball I played at BC as well as the setting I played in. There are multiple basketball courts at Margot so I wanted to clarify that I was playing at the ones upstairs. The waxed hardwood floors and division by skill were major details that characterized these courts. By providing context, the reader can understand that I valued basketball as an enthusiast, and not a competitive athlete.