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  1. Jun 2022
    1. 好的学习成绩=方法(深度加工x输出表达x间歇复习)x能力(速度(基因)x动力(好奇心(∝合适的学习速度)x好胜心)x品质(时间管理x精力管理x情绪管理)

    1. 能完成一套标准叙事的人,在我们的认知中可能是「常态」,但在真实的世界中,实际上是「非常态」。我们因为认知的偏差而努力追求「正常」,在结果上偏离「正常」会造成自身巨大的痛苦。这一切的根源在于偏离真实的社会叙事,也在于我们疏于审视:疏于内省,不知自己真正需求;疏于外观,不知真实世界面目。

      外观还原真实,内省追求真我。

  2. www.oliverburkeman.com www.oliverburkeman.com
    I've been finishing up the edits for my book, which makes this an obvious moment to pause for breath and regroup, work-wise – time to organize my various projects, tame my out-of-control inbox, sort out the jumble of files on my Mac desktop, and draw up some schedules in my fancy notebook like the pitiful productivity geek I am. The big lure of all such moments – as you'll know if you have a similar weakness for time management systems, decluttering initiatives and suchlike – is the promise of making a fresh start. The unspoken hope is that you won't just change a few things for the better, but make a total break with the past. You'll reboot your life, leave disorganization and procrastination behind you once and for all, and do everything differently from now on. As you're presumably aware, this is a terrible mindset for actually making lasting changes. What you need, instead, are tiny goals and a commitment to incremental progress ("small wins"), plus a willingness to encounter failure after failure as you stumble toward improvement. To put it another way: fresh-startism is a form of perfectionism, and as with all forms of perfectionism, the solution is to stop being such a perfectionist – to resign yourself to the fact that things probably won't unfold as flawlessly as you'd hoped. This much (as a recovering perfectionist) I've understood for years. But I've only more recently grasped the deeper point here, which isn't simply that fresh starts don't work as intended, but that there never are any fresh starts in the first place. Contrary to self-help cliché, the thing we perfectionists need to learn isn't that we're probably going to experience failure. It's that we've already failed, totally and irredeemably. This is liable to sound incredibly depressing, but since it's actually fantastic news, I hope you'll allow me to elaborate. Behind our more strenuous attempts at personal change, there's almost always the desire for a feeling of control. We want to lever ourselves into a position of dominance over our lives, so that we might finally feel secure and in charge, and no longer so vulnerable to events. But whichever way you look at it, this kind of control is an illusion. It implies the ability to somehow stand back from or get outside of your life – which you never can, obviously, because you just are your life. What this means, for one thing, is that the perfectionist's fantasy of reaching her deathbed with a perfect record of accomplishments under her belt isn't just extremely unlikely, but doomed from the start, because (to mix metaphors) the years she's already lived are water under the bridge. All the time you've already wasted, the people you've disappointed, the opportunities you failed to seize – it's all already happened, and can never be undone. It also means that the person attempting to leave the past behind, by making a fresh start, is one who's been completely shaped by that past. The self you're seeking to transform is the same one that's doing the transforming – so you're like Baron Munchausen, trying to pull himself out of the swamp by yanking on his own hair. You can never start life afresh, because you're hopelessly stuck in this life; there's no breaking through to another one in which everything's different and better. The reason this is so liberating, for anyone with even a hint of perfectionism, is that it means you get to give up on the exhausting struggle to take charge of your life, so as to steer it in a new direction. You get to abandon all hope of one day finding the perfect time management system – or perfect relationship, job, neighborhood, etcetera – and relax back into the inescapable chaos and muddle of the one you have. And then – once you're facing your real situation, not fixating on a fantasy alternative – you suddenly find yourself able to start making a few concrete improvements, here and now, unburdened by any need for those improvements to usher in a golden age of perfection. This, in my experience, is the only way personal change ever really happens: by first seeing that it's always a matter of rebuilding the ship mid-ocean, making adjustments to a life you can't ever take back to port or trade for another. The American Zen teacher John Tarrant says, "freedom, waking up and fearlessness come down to the simplicity of 'Wait a minute, what if this is it?'" When I hear such exhortations to live in the moment, the fresh-start addict in me is quite capable of turning them into perfectionistic plans, too: "From tomorrow morning, I'll meditate every single day, and become the kind of person who lives in the moment!" But Tarrant's point isn't that you should live in the moment tomorrow. It's that this is it, right now, with all its odious imperfections – the tasks that remain unaddressed, the messes that haven't been cleared up, the enormous personality flaws that still haven't been corrected. And it's the only place I can ever hope to get anything meaningful done. • Or as another Zen teacher, Charlotte Joko Beck, liked to say: "What makes it unbearable is your mistaken belief that it can be cured." (Quoted in the fantastic book Death: The End of Self-Improvement, by Joan Tollifson.) • I'd love to hear from you – just hit reply. If you enjoyed this email, you'd be doing me a big favour by forwarding it to someone else who might like it, or mentioning it wherever you emit opinions online. And if you got this from a friend and would like to subscribe yourself, please do so here. 540 President St, Brooklyn, NY 11215, United States
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    1. But whichever way you look at it, this kind of control is an illusion.

      控制感,只是幻觉。 我们总是渴望对自己的生活有充足的控制感,不愿对未知的将来惶恐不安。 但控制感只是错觉。 「控制感」暗示着一种不可能的全知全能,它隐含着,你处于你的生活外洞悉你的生活,并对你的生活有足够的掌控力。 但是这是不可能的,因为我们永远都只能处于我们的生活里啊。

    2. It's that this is it, right now, with all its odious imperfections – the tasks that remain unaddressed, the messes that haven't been cleared up, the enormous personality flaws that still haven't been corrected. And it's the only place I can ever hope to get anything meaningful done. 

      此刻实在是不完美得可憎! 任务积累成山,杂物满屋乱堆,我的性格缺陷到现在还没改正一点! 可此刻,是我唯一做成一丁点有意义之事的希望了。

    3. What you need, instead, are tiny goals and a commitment to incremental progress ("small wins"), plus a willingness to encounter failure after failure as you stumble toward improvement. To put it another way: fresh-startism is a form of perfectionism, and as with all forms of perfectionism, the solution is to stop being such a perfectionist – to resign yourself to the fact that things probably won't unfold as flawlessly as you'd hoped.

      你需要的,是「小小的目标」、「小小的成功」以及一颗屡败而不馁的心。 fresh-startism,即认为一个「全新开始」能改变一切,是另一种形式的完美主义。

    4. Contrary to self-help cliché, the thing we perfectionists need to learn isn't that we're probably going to experience failure. It's that we've already failed, totally and irredeemably. 

      我们完美主义者需要经历完完全全的、不可救药的失败。

    1. Experiences become shareable creations the way tree sap becomes maple syrup.

      从经历中凝练出可分享的作品,就如从树汁炼出枫浆。

    1. To put it another way: fresh-startism is a form of perfectionism, and as with all forms of perfectionism, the solution is to stop being such a perfectionist – to resign yourself to the fact that things probably won't unfold as flawlessly as you'd hoped.

      「重新开始」是另一种形式的完美主义拖延。

    1. Ergodicity means that the ensemble average is the same as the time average. Something being non-ergodic means the opposite, that the ensemble average is not the time average.

      集总平均等于时间平均