- Oct 2024
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online.clackamas.edu online.clackamas.edu
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Graph 1
This should say "Figure 1."
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of theclass
Don't mention where you got the calibration standard averages (from the class).
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Then using the density equation d=m/v where d= density, v=volume and m=mass
The equation was previously stated, so you could refer back to an equation number.
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record value
You don't have to mention recording measurements you said you took.
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liquid
Maybe a better word would be "solution" instead of "liquid"..
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.
There is no mention of identifying the metal rod.
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density equation d=m/v
The equation could have been better formatted. This would normally be in the introduction, so typically the report would refer to the equation number.
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place weigh paper on it and zero the scale
This would be known to a chemist already and isn't necessary.
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Using a balance, place weigh paper on it and zero the scale. Using that measure a metalrod and record measurement. Then take a 25 mL graduated cylinder and fill about half withwater then record the exact volume. In the graduated cylinder add the metal rod, record the newvolume
This is imperative (telling the reader what to do), but the report should be written telling the reader what procedure was followed during the experiment, in passive tense (not mentioning who did what).
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you
This is 2nd person, but the report should be in 3rd person.
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online.clackamas.edu online.clackamas.edu
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𝐷 = 𝑚/𝑣 equation 1
Don't include the equation in the methods section, only in the introduction.
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Picture 1
This should say "Figure 1," and the y-axis should be density, not fluorescence.
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picture
This should be "figure".
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sugar
Not specific; a sucrose standard solution is what was used.
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Liquid
This should be volume of the sucrose standard.
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density of the rod.
No mention of identifying the metal.
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asthe volume or “v” in this cas
No mention of what to input for "m".
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Insert the rod into thecylinder to get the final volume
This switched from passive to imperative writing.
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The
Don't say "the" the first time you mention a piece of equipment.
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docdrop.org docdrop.org
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Questions 6-7 were then completed using thecreated scatter plot and its given equation.
The reader doesn't know what this refers to.
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scatter plot
They should have referred to Figure 1.
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The data was recorded
Not necessary.
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average
Average of what?
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final mass minus initial mass
This isn't the definition of m in the equation; it is just mass.
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The
There is no mention of the Erlenmeyer flask used to gather the calibration standard.
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.
They didn't mention calculating density or identifying the metal.
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he mass wasrecorded.
Don't mention recording the mass; this is assumed.
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Metal Rod: Preparation, Procedure and Processing
Sub-header could probably be a bit shorter.
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docdrop.org docdrop.org
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graph
The graph needs a title in the caption: "Figure 1".
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data
Specify what data was included in the graph, and refer to it as "Figure 1."
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weighed
The mass was found, not the weight.
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halfway
To 50 mL, not halfway.
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This experiment required a 100 mL Erlenmeyer flask, a 50 mL beaker, and a 10 mLvolumetric pipeƩe with a pipeƩe filler. AddiƟonally, the experiment required 16% sugar water,apple juice, and orange Fanta
Again, don't mention the equipment beforehand.
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finalvolume.
They should mention using equation 1, and should specify how they got the volume to use in the equation. It wasn't just the final volume of the water and rod that was measured.
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grams
Volume isn't in grams.
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This experiment required a metal rod, a 25 mL graduated cylinder, and a balance.
Don't mention the materials needed before discussing using them.
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Metal Rod Density: PreparaƟon and Materials
Too many sub-headers.
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