“Meh. I wouldn’t feel comfortable keeping something this important to myself, anyways. I can always put restrictions on it.” “I’ve got some recommendations, if you want some.” “uh huh” “No looping, since that means no clones - just simple one-way trips. Everybody gets an attendant Quail, who ensures they don’t do anything wrong.” “Wow, that seems like a great way to get a lot of Quails murdered.” Quail mused. “No bringing stuff back in time. No bringing stuff forward in time. A maximum time you can go forward.” “Look, I’m super interested in all your interesting restrictions, but I’m not using any.” “This is a serious mistake. You can’t be saying everybody should be able to go ham on it.” “There’s no way I can prevent everybody from using the machine wrong. I’m not going to try when any rules I make could just be evaded.” Kim spoke up. “Couldn’t you just use the machine for that?” “Huh?” “You have a literal time machine now. You don’t have to worry about making rules or policing them after the fact - you can go back in time and stop them then.” “I hadn’t considered that. I guess I still haven’t really thought this thing through.” “There’s a lot we’re going to have to learn about time travel, but I suggest we learn it all by just doing it. We can fix our mistakes now. We should take the opportunity to make them.” The three of them sat on the couch together, staring at the machine. For the moment, the doors stood still, it did not whirr, and it did not shake. This page has paths: 1 2020-01-15T13:41:02-05:00 Alan Bush 37d3438a69de42ac8dc8ddbb729b403057a56928 Second Draft (full reworked draft) Alan Bush 16 splash 2020-04-21T16:51:52-04:00 Alan Bush 37d3438a69de42ac8dc8ddbb729b403057a56928 Contents of this path: 1 2020-04-14T15:17:30-04:00 Ignorance is Bliss?, by Anna Ress 1 plain 2020-04-14T15:17:30-04:00 1 2020-04-16T17:19:47-04:00 The Experiment 2 draft 2 plain 2020-04-16T17:20:55-04:00 1 2020-04-17T09:34:32-04:00 The Traveler, Second Draft by Leo Adaryukov 6 plain 2020-04-17T14:45:21-04:00 1 2020-04-17T22:37:03-04:00 WWIII: The Animals Fight for Earth 2 by Lauren Trumbull (Draft 2) plain 2020-04-17T22:37:19-04:00 1 2020-04-18T00:02:07-04:00 The Year Was 2120 2 Payton Ray plain 2020-04-18T00:03:48-04:00 1 2020-04-19T16:23:18-04:00 The Shadows by Jackson Brewer 1 plain 2020-04-19T16:23:18-04:00 1 2020-04-19T22:19:48-04:00 Uno - Second Draft, by William Fischer 15 yeah i know it's not quite 12k words. that's the first thing i need to fix for the final draft plain 2020-04-19T22:44:33-04:00 1 2020-04-19T23:18:05-04:00 A Loss of Humanity & the Takeover of Technology 1 Cecilia Gomez plain 2020-04-19T23:18:05-04:00 1 2020-04-19T23:32:21-04:00 The Disconnect - Second Draft by Charles Nyberg 3 Written by Charles Nyberg plain 2020-04-19T23:37:40-04:00 1 2020-04-19T23:52:40-04:00 The Mission - Second Draft 2 Robert Vose plain 2020-04-19T23:54:14-04:00 1 2020-04-20T03:06:00-04:00 Off The Grid- Christian Helms 1 Second Draft plain 2020-04-20T03:06:00-04:00 1 2020-04-20T10:25:35-04:00 The Righteous Clash- Baron Woodard 1 plain 2020-04-20T10:25:35-04:00 1 2020-04-20T14:26:05-04:00 Hyperion 1 Draft II plain 2020-04-20T14:26:05-04:00 1 2020-04-19T22:07:27-04:00 the six of us and the three of you - christie balke 2 plain 2020-04-22T01:18:48-04:00
With your use of time travel though, this ending feels anticlimactic. With the paradoxes and the subtle differences in the stocks, it felt like you were building up to something going terribly awry, and here it just sort of ends. If you have the space, I'd recommend expanding the ending, because there's a lot you can do with it here.