it’s purpose was not to provide a place for the democratic expression of the people’s will, but as an exercise in elite consensus building, an opportunity for the already dominant Roman elite to get the people ‘on board’ with what they wanted to do anyway.
I lean more toward the Morstein-Marx camp. Minus a few exceptions, the popular assemblies voted the way the Senate wanted them to vote.
Once convened, the assembly does not have an ‘open’ agenda, rather it is convened for a specific purpose: to approve (or not) a specific action proposed by that magistrate. The assembly does not debate, but instead offers and up-or-down vote (or chooses from a set of candidates if the agenda item for the assembly is ‘hold an election’) and the decision offered is final.
This would be very open for consensus building; the result of a certain vote may be predetermined if one influential party holds sway over several other influential parties. The patronage system falling like dominoes?
Romans understand these as distinct communities under the imperium of the Roman people, not as constituent parts of the res publica.
They are not real Romans, but sources for auxilia troops.
imperium – literally the power of command – is the power to use legitimate violence on behalf of the state, either in the form of raising armies (external violence) or organizing courts (internal violence).
I didn't realise imperium also meant courts, though under the expansive definition of 'the power to use legitimate violence on behalf of the state', I suppose the power of persecution fits that.
It does matter for religious purposes and being a patrician from a famous family is a nice status marker to have, but elite plebeian families are not rare in the Middle Republic.
I believe it's only patricians who can perform most religious ceremonies, thus only patricians can be priests.
much larger scale and at a much higher quality of construction, the Romans really did do something new and in some parts of their empire, something unique in the pre-modern period.
Great conclusion.
in Etruria, after the pax Romana ended, settlements moved away from the roads and back up to more secure hilltops.
The two genders of pop-up roads: roadside and hilltop.
Movement through the empire, when it was not done by sea, rapidly became an exercise in following Roman roads, as the genre of itineraria – travel guides – attest.
How cool, Romans invented (perfected?) travel books.
Rome tended to employ a large number of mid-sized field armies, stationed up and down the frontier, until the Crisis of the Third Century, rather than dispatching massive expeditionary forces from a handful of key administrative centers
Prolific armies, not necessarily high quality ones. Drown 'em in quantity!
That kind of evidence is always hard to interpret: on the one hand it means cracking down on this kind of corrupt abuse was a meaningful priority for the emperors and their agents, but on the other hand it also means such abuses were never eradicated
Good assessment here. On which way this particular corruption skewed, we may never know. Likely, this 'road corruption' fluctuated during the reigns of different emperors, going on a downward spiral during the final years of the Roman Empire.
just as the Roman ‘allies’ (really, subject communities in Italy) each in theory had a bilateral relationship with Rome (which left the smaller allied communities, in theory, atomized and thus much weaker in the relationship) so too they had a road to and from Rome, but not necessarily to and from the other regions of Italy.
Literally, all roads lead to Rome. This system builds a sense of Romanness, not Italianness. The socii only had the road link to Rome, not to Capua or Brundisium.
hub-and-spoke network (with Rome at the center), but the wheel
Apt analogy.
But they were also very direct expressions of Rome’s growing control of Italy, the construction of a physical geography which linked Rome key settlements in what was rapidly becoming Roman Italy
Bringing Italian allies physically closer to Rome means bringing them mentally closer to it. If a Roman road runs through your town, filled with Roman messengers, it's not a stretch to call yourself 'Roman' too.
(though some are!).
That some Roman roads are ruler-straight is, in and of itself, a fact worth highlighting.
And doubtless it was also not lost on anyone that such a visible series of public works – even if the roads were not always paved and had to be repaired after heavy rains and such – was also an exercise in legitimacy building, both a visual demonstration of the Great King’s power and resources but also a display of his generosity and industry.
I love that Devereaux considers every angle of a given thing. Like yes, this awesome road system absolutely would be a legitimacy builder for your average Persian.
On top of the physical infrastructure, there was also a system of way-stations and stopover points along the road. These were not amenities for everyone but rather a system for moving state officials, messengers, soldiers, and property (like taxes). While anyone could, presumably, walk down the road, official travelers carried a sealed travel authorization issued by either a satrap (the Persian provincial governors) or the king himself. Such authorizations declared how many travelers there were, where they were going and what the way-stations, which stocked supplies, should give them.
What an incredibly organised system! Royal/noble favour could get you a lot with this system, not like the hodgepodge fiefdoms of medieval Western Europe.
Preference
It might be cool if the card game they're playing reflects some thematic aspect of the scene
criminal
Why would Stevan be so open about his criminal record? Would it be in character for him to be shifty with this fact?
I really needed that.
Again, on the nose. We probably inferred this from Zlatan's unusual move of dancing
omped about,
It's not really clear that they're dancing here, when I think of 'romp' I think of kids playing. Maybe you could describe the specific dance? Maybe they're attempting to do something fancy like a waltz, or doing a more Bosnian style dance. It would be a nice cultural detail to put in, and I think this moment of levity to distract from the rape going on would be effective
A child’s dresser had been dragged to the windowsill, whereit was surmounted by sandbags, transforming it into a sniper’s perch.
Nice image
Suddenly, Zlatan was overwhelmed with patriotism
Nice. It would be cool if the guy who captured him was the Major, or if the Major showed up at one point in this flashback
Hey, boss—” he said, pointing at Zlatan, “the beggar says that that poor bastardis good at fixing things.”“What do you mean?” said Zlatan. “I can fix some things, sure.”“We’re in need of an engineer . . .” said the seated man, drumming his fingers on
It might be better to have Zlatan assert his usefulness, establish that he is a proactive character who can get himself out of a pinch. What does having the beggar save him accomplish?
Iwant to have some fantasies!” Judith said. “I want to live a life of adventure!”
A little on the nose
"mess hall" describe this mess hall a bit. There are a lot of military structures, and a lot of room to play with their similarities and differences. Is this place up to code, or is it a bit more lax?
Might be good to describe these beds. Are they run-down cots in this military setting? Are they mid-sized bunk-beds? Are they hotel beds? Explaining these beds does a lot to explain where they are
"Is oven-roasted Camboliannan sheep covered in a luxurious green herb and spice sauce with the customary veggies on the side of course!” a good punchline would be that the group eats it, and it tastes like regular crappy military rations
"knocked you out" damn, hardcore. Consider the implications of this; Sky probably has multiple concussions at this point, unless the captain used some drug to knock Sky out
"got hurt in the process" a bit more specificity here would be nice. What animals? How did he get hurt? This can also be a good way to insert a bit of worldbuilding, since these animals might be weird monsters from your world, and you could explain why they're there
"bit of the drool on her arms. She shrugged." what's rationale for this? Is Sky supposed to be a lazier character?
Is the Sonarway tangible? What does it actually look like? Just a bit more on how it works would be helpful
Good
of the forest
Good ending, piques our interest for later. I love this, you successfully snare us in with a serial killer story only to have the succubus switcheroo. As you edit this, go back and read everything in Alan's voice; what details are his? What details are the narrator's? Do you think there are two narrators? Who's talking in this? Answer that question, and you have the answer for how the narrator would reaction to and comment on every situation.
lip-clop sound of Sandra b
I'd love to have this detail earlier, a bit of foreshadowing. I love what you did with the deer, and with one more hint, the foreshadowing will be just right.
he saw the black-hoofed legs of a deer
Lol nice get rekt perv.
ell into his arms and embraced him
These are two very different things.
nstinctually, as a defense
Redundant
bewitched
This feels too obvious.
It was easy to go crazy when you’re by yourself for so long.
I'm definitely sensing that this is partially from Alan's POV here. I'm noticing that you're doing an interesting thing with including informal talk like 'ain't' alongside fancy words like 'engaged' or 'devoid'. Is this how you view Alan's voice? To go all the way with this Alan-like third person narrator, stay in Alan's mindset, keep focused on the details he would focus on, not the ones that rational people would.
He met Sandra on a night with a new moon
A suggestion, but if you have everything prior to this in present tense, and this in past tense, we'd get a better sense of the time shift.
well-timed bomb
I feel this takes away from the weight of 'the woman he'd killed'.
It was as cold as death in that chamber.
This description seems unusually general for a para that is so dialed in on specifics like 'four tarps, bungee cords, a knife', and 'a pool full of blind minnows'.
hirty-two gallon trash can full of corn,
Cool detail.
ell into his arms and embraced him
These are two very different connotations. I suggest that you go with just one.
instinctually, as a defense
Redundant
He met Sandra on a night with a new moon,
This is just a suggestion, but it might be cool to have everything prior to this point in present tense and have this in past tense, so we could experience the time shift better.
devoid
What's your thought process with using 'ain't's alongside big vocabulary words? Are you going for the contrast?
ll of corn,
Great detail. I love how detailed this para is
onsequence of the game of cat and mouse
This seems a bit too sophisticated for Alan.
It
Think about this narrator. Is he supposed to be in Alan's shoes? Is he an observer? Judging by the 'ain't', this is sort of supposed to be through Alan's eyes, so keep in the back of your head the details the details that Alan would focus on (as opposed to what a rational person would focus on).
y people who don’t want them,
This is an unusual and interesting detail. Is Alan speaking from experience?
well-timed bomb
I'd like the 'woman he'd killed' to stand alone here, really get across the weight of the fact; 'well-timed bomb' feels superfluous.
t was as cold as death in that cha
Hmm, this description feels too general for a para that is so focused and detailed. It sort of jibes against the ultra-specificity.