1,337 Matching Annotations
  1. Nov 2018
    1. r example, in the USA, there has been increasing evidence of HIV spread among blacks and Hispanics in the inner cities, largely due to IV-drug use” (130

      what does this have to do with stigma?

    2. Chin and Mann, they were able to develop charts showing who was infected by AIDS using patterns to collect data from different countries, gend


    3. he AIDS stigma

      according to which source...?

    4. ose Weitz 


    1. For this essay, I will be talking about the different types of stigma that arose because of AIDS and who they were against.

      During what time? Sounds like stigma no longer exists...

    2. When AIDS was first discovered, the initial cases were a cluster of injecting drug users and homosexual men.


    1. I began to mourn the death of someone that I know nothing about, no more than the fact that he was a victim of HIV/AIDS, and the quilt itself added little to my knowledge about the person.

      explore this

    1. There is no telltale indication of his family’s economic status before his death or how they’ll be affected in the future, if at all. However

      interesting.. why 'economics' here?

    1. In AIDS orphans this is even worse because of the stigmatism of AIDS that surrounds the family. Not only does the child have to take care of their parent but they also must protect their family from society.

      this warrants its own page, i think

    1. I feel like I am not seeing the reason as to why people would even attempt to discriminate anyone based on their gender or sexuality. Is it because the majority should get more power? If so, why should popularity control what we do and don’t do? It’s not fair for the minority to get shoved around and become followers and not the leader. The minorities such as LGBTQ should get a say for this. 

      This is the most powerful writing I've seen from you.

    1. Menu Skip to content HomeLGBT and AIDS Quilt LGBT and AIDS Quilt

      Is this the "thick description"?

    1. On another website I found called ‘verywellhealth’ founded by George Edward Barton who was an architect and a patient of tuberculosis stated that people who sit around who believe they are at risk of HIV/AIDS will increase their anxiety

      Why would we listen to an architect with tuberculosis about HIV/AIDS?

    2. More and more people today would rather sit and let the disease worsen rather to go and get help, and everyone finding out about them. 

      Evidence for this?

    3. If people are more knowledgeable about the factors of HIV/AIDS then they will be more understanding to people and what they are going through

      evidence to support this?

    4. A lot of times if left untreated  HIV can quickly turn into AIDS  and AIDS left untreated leads to a quicker death.


    1. quicker death.

      What about you in this discussion?

    2. Stigma is disgrace and because of all the disgrace in the society it lead to people being “pushed into the margins of society”

      What does "disgrace" mean? What is the relationship between "stigma" and "disgrace"?

    1. I found out that 50% of the 35% of countries that have data of HIV/AIDS have reported that they have experienced discriminatory acts due to the fact of their HIV /AIDS status. A lot of people are denied the proper health care services due to the fact that they have HIV/AIDS. These types of behaviors are one of the factors that cause death among HIV/AIDS patient.

      This writing seems to be making a connection between depression in HIV/AIDS victims and discrimination, but it's not doing so clearly yet.

    2. this scholarly website

      which one?

    3. According to The U.S. National Library it says that  moving on with your life after you learn that you have HIV it brings about depression.

      Why would we listen to a library about depression?

    4. how to share it with others

      How to share the illness?

    5. What i am trying to get out here is that what people have done towards people who have had AIDS has actually had an affect on them. I have even been guilty of doing this.

      This is a new topic. And a good one.

    6. HIV/AIDS has always been a very touchy subject towards people those affected and unaffected.

      What does this mean?

    7. Society Effects

      What are "society effects"?

    1. I just want to properly explain what goes on inside the mind of people who are living with AIDS/HIV.

      Is "explain" the right word here? How can you explain this when you haven't experienced it?

    1. he didn’t actually think that Fletcher was going to die from this and he thought that he was going to overcome it.

      Whoa! What does this say about advocacy?

    1. As bad as this sounds when we first were shown the quilts I did not want to touch them

      Why not? Can you think a bit more about the details of this experience? What is it exactly that caused a shift in you?

    1. he was very conflicted about how he was feeling and did not know how to properly respond.

      Very interesting. This work could focus on the psycho-emotional labor of living with someone with HIV/AIDS. Yet this writing doesn't seem to really go there...

    2. the mental ways that having HIV.

      Is this thought incomplete?

    3. a close friend of Fletcher.

      how do you know this?

    1. per 100,000).

      DO all these stats come from the same source?

      **how do these stats inform your perception of AIDS in Alaska?

  2. Oct 2018
    1. ecessio

      ???? this essay employs many words that do not convey meaning clearly. Where did you get this word, 'cecession'?

    2. ctive silence

      this sounds like a conclusion. there's nothing being advanced here about what is active silence.

    3. n wome


    4. anifest the evolution

      how can a show "manifest" an evolution?

    5. His show

      when? has this already happened?

    6. e have to learn to accept others’ opinions for which we would want ours to be accepted

      What would you say is the main point of this paragraph?

    7. We have the freedom to express ourselves, unlike other countries.

      do we? who is we? what does freedom mean here? what does freedom have to do with active silence?

    8. Lebron James not only holds a high profile in societybut is an active member when it comes to giving back to the community.

      what does this have to do with "active silence"?

    9. re set to be equal

      what does this mean? set? set by whom? how? evidence?

    10. he media sets standards andlevels of importance when it comes to having input.

      what is the relationship between this sentence and the sentence before?

    11. she

      who is 'she' here?

    12. Laura also mocked his ungrammaticaland unintelligible language.

      do you mean to call his language "ungrammatical and inintelligible"?

    13. The average citizen will experience stillness and uncertainties when in this state of silence, and every citizen will experienceactive silence more often than we expect.

      "active silence" has to do with citizenship? politics? only ?

    14. This defines active silence as being opinionatedbut choosing not to voice it.

      this sentence is a good example of degree of generality

    15. With the current issues and ongoingcontroversies, some followers seem to be in a state of tranquility.

      "followers"? current issues? ongoing controversies?

    16. your

      Me? Mine? why "you" here?

    17. brimmed

      what is the relationship between "brim" and "diversity"? how can diversity "brim"?

    18. Jadie HuntEnglish 1102Definition Essa

      do you need this info and the opening page info?

    19. unt / Natural Sciences

      interesting. this must be appropriate to your specific audience/discourse community



  3. Aug 2018
    1. Evaluations of this element will reflect on how well you interpret the rhetoric and argument of a particular topic, as well as how well you are able to make and sustain those arguments.

      Hmmm. I'm not sure I understand the philosophy you're building from here. This sounds like there's a 'right way' to analyze a piece of visual art and if the student gets the symbology wrong they're doomed. (putting on my scared student hat)

    2. using symbols

      whoa... this is cool... Maybe I don't understand entirely what is meant here though. Are you talking inference and connotation? association etc? Probably 'symbol" is right in the context of visual rhetoric I'm just not familiar....

    1. Express the uses

      still not sure what this means... Articulate? Describe?

    2. worked through some theories of visual rhetoric

      So... the grades reflect production of artifacts created with theories of visual rhetoric in mind? You might want to mention the reflections early. There's not much of a sense of theory in the early project descriptions.

    3. conclusive analysis

      Is it "analysis" or is it "description" or is it "annotation"?

    4. These activities are meant to creatively enact visual rhetoric in basic, low-stakes ways and will explore how each of us interprets visual concepts.

      I can imagine your students will wonder how this 15% ends up being calculated, since there are 5 projects. 15% doesn't seem "low stakes" but perhaps 3% does...?

    5. 50%

      wow... this is a lot... but I like it... I also like the look of this page and the whole site.

    6. Course Description, Goals, & Outcomes

      This page articulates more clearly than the list on the homepage I think.

    1. Express

      This first item suggests the confusion... who "expresses" the uses of visuals? What does that mean exactly?

    2. The class has 8 significant goals and outcomes:

      This wording confuses me a little. Are the goals for the students? The course will do these things? The students will be able to do these things? "goals" and "outcomes" I think are different, yes? The course goals are to do such and such... The course outcomes are that students will be able to...?

  4. Apr 2018
    1. First i will discuss one the of causation’s of social responses to people with HIV, and how it can contribute to the spread of the disease (Mawar, Nita, et al.). Next, i will detail why ignorance be can be a social hazard for those with HIV, especially gay men who experience a double stigma. (Mawar, Nita, et al.). Then i will address the social stigma that HIV positive people experience, and how even care givers were experiencing stigma for treating people with AIDS

      Not clear how these points support the subject of comedy...

    2. Comedy has benefited people suffering from HIV/AIDS to ease suffering, spread awareness of the disease, and relieve “the stigma”, but it has also has been used to misrepresent those who suffer and perpetuate phobias against people with HIV/AIDS.

      nice thesis

    1.  Now there are many more teens living with HIV/AIDS than that of those diagnosed before.

      I don't understand... I thought you said teens are having less sex. If that's the case, and HIV is spread primarily via sex, then there should be a decline of teens living with HIV/AIDS??? explain

    2. The time between 1988 and 1995 is really what is responsible for this decline, when there was increased education about sex in response to the HIV epidemic,” (Storrs, paragraph 11)

      Why should we believe Storrs? do others have different ideas about this?

    3. amount

      number not amount... know why?

    4. on.”

      Where does this period go and why

    5. Has

      have not has... see why?

    1. idea of abstinence and no sex before marriage became something that was beaten into the youths head, so that this disease would in some ways “contained” by societal methods

      and it didn't work, right?

    2. (paragraph 5

      from where?

    3. g at age 12 and continues to rise throughout the teenage yea

      This info is not about young men being more sexually active than women.... How is it related to your claim in the first paragraph?

    4. Serological studies of HIV infection, surveys of sexual

      Why is this indented? What you need is a 'block quote" T his would necessitate zero quotation marks, too

    5. r than women

      according to whom?

    6. Teenage years are the years where a lot of experimenting goes on. It is the years where you begin to wonder how sex feels, what your sexual orientation is, how do drugs make you feel; simply figuring out who you are. These thoughts happen in both males and females.

      This info doesn't seem to have anything to do witih the 80s and 90s... Why not start at "sexual activity..."?

    1. John Gonzalez’s panel at T

      You need a more complete introduction. What is the Names project? which panel? why this one? give us a bit of the detailed description of the panel (here it's not clear where the details are coming from)... that you believe capture "most teenage boys"? Go ahead and introduce yourself and your project from the very start...

    2. years 1988-1992.

      ..., according to the CDC... **introduce your sources within your writing.. don't just link, because a link is a choice your reader might not make

    1. After Walt Disney died, the company got worse and fell into the Dark Ages.

      Who says this???? Are you making a judgement here or are you reporting Griffin's notions?

    2. AIDS w

      another comma here

    1. here is an official Disney fan club called D23. 

      link to this?

    2. Disney fandom

      Start here!

    3. the Disney fandom

      Why do you use "the" in front of this phrase? Is that how it's done elsewhere? What does it mean?

    4. The Disney animation movies (including sequels), Disney Pixar movies, Disney live-action movies, Disney channel tv shows (including Disney xd and Disney junior to a lesser extent), and the Disney theme parks around the world.

      This is a sentence fragment. What do you mean?

    1. allowed

      This is a strange-seeming word here. "Allow"? Could they have "disallowed"? Perhaps they "provide" something instead?

    1. LGBT Community s

      of The Castro?

    2. Gay men began to find themselves, once again rejected and despised

      By each other???

    3. This

      what did?

    4. Because during the 1970’s when aids were known to the masses gay men were disenfranchised sexual minorities

      sentence fragment... What do you mean?

    5. here the Stonewall riots in Christopher Street awakened gay emancipation

      Tell us about this? Is there a "Castro" equivalent?

    6. they

      who does?

    7. w a


    8. d areas.

      Where does the quotation end?

    9. Today shown by the high concentration of HIV positive men, the Castro shows the effects of the AIDS outbreak during the 1960’s.

      What does this mean??

    10. interpersonal connections that connect to our need for both sexual and health safety

      Is this quoted? paraphrased? Still needs citation at the end.

    11. argued

      present tense

    12. According to

      Take out

    13. the other national

      What does this mean?

    14. played a high role

      A role in what exactlY?

    15. It

      'It"? How about She?

    16. y Mia Schwartz s

      who? what is her expertise?

    17. .The Names Project was created in the 1960’s. According to the HIV.gov medication for HIV became available in the early 1980’s.

      The information in this section seems a little disjointed. Why mention all the way down here when NAMES was created?

    18. that by i

      A word missing here?

    19. Because of the time period, Bobby Orr and others in the Aids Quilt, technology, and the sciences were not advanced enough to truly understand the cause of the disease and how to prevent it.

      What is this sentence saying? Maybe it needs to be two sentences?

    20. This

      Not clear what "this" is referring to.

    21. ales. The study showed that women were more immune to the disease.

      That's interesting. Cite this information with (title pg #) at the end.

    22. ding to Avert,

      What is "Avert"?

    23. ms t

      you need another comma after "williams"

    24. they

      Too many they's in a sentence causes confusion...

    25. They


    26. The Names Project was created by a small group of strangers who came together in San Francisco there mission was to document the lives of those would die from aids.

      Run on sentence... can you make into one?

    27. All of this would be focused on what kind of material culture I’ve learned about within this research.

      Good. You don't need to say this; take it out.

    28. But before that, you must understand what the Names project and the aids epidemic is.

      This feels awkward. The NAMES project isn't central to your research, is it? Is it related to the Castro? If it is, say so here.

    29. stated affecting

      began affecting?

    30. Aid e


    31. from the I found within the quilt

      Missing word?

    32. he Castro

      What is "the Castro"?

    33.  Read more about Bobby Orr’s memorial block here.

      Why place this link here, after an intro about the Castro?

    34. Thus, creating the nam

      This is why I...

    35. the located


    36. According

      Seems like you start a new paragraph here. Do you?

    37. border


    38. The photograph below depicts the life of Bobby Orr, which is the name on this quilt shown above

      I encourage you to revisit this sentence. Think about what it means. Is the entire "life" of Orr "depicted"? how could you be more precise? Where is the quilt "shown'?

    39. .

      No period in a title. Excellent title.

    1. The fact of the matter is

      Is thsi phrase necessary? what does it do for you?

    2. The original enacting of this immigration restriction was not wholly justified and disallowed the further development of medical research

      Says who?

    3. the United States, was a ban that prohibited entrance to the country if the individual in question was HIV positive and also required certain immigrants to be tested before entry

      Research here... what bill? executive order? etc.?

    4. This mass hysteria and disdain for those living with the disease is associated with various negatively reinforced ideals and is a common view where the general populace mentally aligns the person with their disease.

      Research here

    5. Controversial or not?

      Is this still introduction?

    6. portray cultures

      Not 'portray' but 'embody'... What is the difference?

    7. same notion

      "same"? Maybe not exactly the same... Be more specific

    8. Quilts exhibited at the Names Project Center immortalize the names of those who they are dedicated to but they also serve a purpose beyond aiding us in remembering the deceased.

      Super nice transition!

    9. among the facility and the number steadily rises with the center coming into possession of a multitude of quilts as the year progresses

      What does this mean? Say what you mean here in as few words as possible to sharpen meaning...

    10. the guardians of all artifacts regarding those lost to the epidemic, constructed multiple chapters among the US.

      What does this mean?

    11. Tony Fulkerson’s quilt panel depicted above resonates with many visitors when they visit the Names Project Center.

      Who? You need to introduce the project, the quilt, and the concept of "panel" before you can say this meaningfully...

    1. Peter Kuryla’s Biography on Brittanica states “Associate Professor, Department of History, Belmont University. His contributions to SAGE Publications’s Encyclopedia of African American Society (2009) formed the basis of his contributions to Britannica”. This source details how “Pan-Africanism is the idea that people of African descent share common interests and should be unified,” and shows that “historically, Pan-Africanism has often taken the shape of a political or cultural movement.”

      These two sentences indicate you haven't read my notes above. If you'd like to discuss, let me know.

    1. dealing with students with HIV. A

      in Africa...

    2. Coping with death

      Where are the author names?

    3. ACT UP and the Rhetoric of AIDS.eds.b.ebscohost.co

      This needs a full citation

    1. Similar to how the theater community encouraged individual to deal with their own struggle with AIDS in a positive manner and community to support and understand the lives that people living with the virus had to go through

      fragment... I don't understand what this paragraph is trying to do here... Tie back to the quilt? Glenn? Why do you need to do that here?? What's your thesis?

    2. neh and Jaganth 45

      A more convincing defense of the notion that dance community helps support individuals suffering from AIDS would draw upon multiple sources.

    3. The problem within most people living with AIDS is their mental mindset.

      Jimmy... This doesn't mean what you want it to mean, I think. Isn't the "problem" AIDS?

    4. An academic journal and study by Galia Boneh and Devan Jaganath

      which journal? what qualifications these authors?

    5. Then all the funding the funding that the performing arts did for the HIV/AIDS research and relief.


    6. These loved ones embodied the special moments and the imprint that Glenn left on them through the quilt panel.

      What does this have to do with dance?

    7. However, because how, as Gere phrases the dances, deep the “Speech Act-performance” were it sparked the spirit of activism to the public. It similar to how in the Civil Rights Movement used sit-ins, boycotts, and marches to relay a deeper message of equal rights to the government.

      REphrase... what does this mean?

    8. hese kind activisms

      which kind?

    9. There were so many limitations with activism with words alone, Chamber-Leston even mentions that “Gere gestures to the impossible nature of writing a comprehensive analysis of a disease that has developed across racial, national, gender, and class boundaries (108)”.

      What does this mean?

    10. s, “. It su

      What is 'it'?

    11. This dance instigated emotions in people’s hearts that made the audience that made them comprehend the pain and humility of those living with AIDS had to go throug

      from where are you drawing this conclusion?

    12. new way of focusing body and soul together

      what about the quoted material makes you say so?

    13. Joshua Chambers-Leston’s review of “How to make dance in an epidemic: tracking choreography in the age of AIDS by David Gere goes over how this new style came to be and the way it changed the lives of HIV infected victims. Chamber-Leston states how choreography changed “by focusing on how bodies were choreographed for political means (107)”.

      Whose writing are you quoting here? something is amiss with the quotation marks...

    14. The dancing community in particular did used the most original method to immerse themselves into that role of a struggling person with HIV/AIDS. What they did completely changed the style of dancing forever.

      evidence? You are not an expert in this area, cite your sources....

    15. epidemic started the performing arts community wanted to help b


    16. nd Glenn took actions to show his love just as

      This discussion isn't about Glenn, the person; it's about the emodied culture of the quilt panel. First, show us the details in the panel...

    17. he performing arts since the beginning of the HIV/AIDS epidemic in the 1980s have been active contributors to the fight against HIV/AIDS. Major theater groups and dance studios have donated and raised significant funds to the AIDS movement and have actively advocated to the equal rights and care of infected people of AIDS in the United States. In theater entire plays have a dedicated to the struggle that people infected with HIV/AIDS have to live through and in dance culture a completely integrated style of contemporary dance was created to empower and inspire audiences. Today many of the same studios and theaters memorialize the struggles that the HIV/AIDS community had to go through in past by annual performances. The AIDS epidemic changed the course of style and play of these arts and in turn they have change the fate that these AIDS community would have faced without them.

      This paragraph isn't needed as introduction. These are claims that need evidence to be convincing....

    18. The performing arts community in America became fully immersed with helping the AIDS movement, they gave heart and passion to the movement that they thought was worth fighting for. What these communities did for HIV/AIDS is more than just charitable giving but love and support that someone would give to family or loved ones. Just like the love and passion that Glenn gave to his family and loved one and that they gave to him.

      This is one thing we can learn from this quilt panel, right?

    19. n theater entire plays have a dedicated to the struggle that people infected with HIV/AIDS have to live through and in dance culture a completely integrated style of contemporary dance was created to empower and inspire audiences.

      Provide evidence

    20. Major theater groups and dance studios have donated and raised significant funds to the AIDS movement and have actively advocated to the equal rights and care of infected people of AIDS in the United States.

      Provide evidence.

    21. lenn was and how loving and caring he was to those around him. Since most of the audience seeing the quilt will not see the letters that his Glenn family and friends wrote, making the relationship clear will allow the audience to be fully immersed with quilt and comprehend who Glenn S. Fox was.

      What are these last few sentences trying to do here? Do you need them?

    22. Solidifying a clear relationship between the arts and AIDS as earnest and passionate to one another it will embody the type of person

      This doesn't make sense. The arts and AIDS do not have "an earnest and passionate" relationship...

    23. This analysis is to solidify those relationship of the fine and performing arts and AIDS as a loving and embracing

      What does this mean?

    24. t,


    25. As the foundation started getting more and more quilt panels they started presenting them on display for the world to see at events, marches, and collaborations. Glenn S. Fox’s quilt has several patches aligned around a photo of him, like the two Greek muses mask, dancing shoes, paintings, and other works of art that his loved ones created in his memory.

      What is the relationship between these two sentences?

    26. . This particular quilt panel is just one of hundreds that are a part of the Atlanta NAMES project, a foundation that strives to memorialize the lives of people that lived with the HIV/AIDS virus In the 1980s the HIV/AIDS virus was out of control millions all over the country were getting infected by the virus and many did not even know why;

      This goes earlier. And not 'hundreds' but thousands, right?

    27. NAMES project Atlanta

      What is this? Introduce the foundation and the AIDS quilt

    28. virus

      not needed

    29. the

      not needed

    30. “You gave us all your love and happiness. You will always be a part of us” … “You danced through life like a cool breeze on a hot summer day” … “We will always remember our yearly ventures to the theater.” …

      How can you use space to organize these passages in a way that creates meaningful relationships with your ideas?

    31. This is analysis on the quilt of Glenn S. Fox and its embodiment to the performing art’s relations to the ongoing AIDS epidemic in America and how the arts has changed the public opinion on the AIDs virus and empower individual victims of the virus.

      What is the purpose of this line and the line before it? Why not just begin with the introduction?

    32. A research and analysis on theater and dance activism for AIDS awareness and support

      "A research and analysis" .... No "a"?

    1. enry J. Whittle who works for Global Health Sciences for the University of California helps insight a link between food insecurity and

      This discussion, though it mentions SF, seems wholly unrelated to the other sections.

    2. ike Shriver and his team at the National Aids Memorial Grove in San Francisco California have helped make a 10-acre park dedicated to remembering the lives of people that have lived with HIV/Aids

      From where this information? And when did this park come into being? What does it say about your thesis?

    3. Today I see that we are allowing transgender people in our military and that is a huge step in todays world just like it would have been back in the late 70’s

      Not yet... Or we already did, but .. Trump...

    4. Marching for a cause is something we still do in todays world everyday, I have even done it many of times.

      This generality doesn't belong here, but it might make for excellent introduction.... Can you imagine?

    5. These groups usually were focused on the subject in their own hometown doing their own individual projects but when the time came for all of them to come together in Washing, they showed out and made the event very successful for promoting gay and lesbian rights.

      This is an opportunity to talk about the connection between SF governing and National governing

    6. openly gay politician named Harvey Milk

      Did you notice Milk inspires your discussion above? Make the connections!

    7. Harvey Milk

      Who is this man?

    8. everyones views of the gay community

      Clearly not "everyones" right?

    9. where


    10. They had the best people their and

      Who? And who is their?

    11. Talks

      Who talks?

    12. ay men started turning their focus from sexual liberation to the disease that was killing friends and loved ones really fast without an explanation.

      When? This is strong discussion of the evidence presented above. good. More of this...

    13. Writings like this in my research help me argue that yes life was very hard in times when Aids/Hiv first started to rise, even if you didn’t realize it because you might have been caught up in the celebrations.

      Hmmmm... This is interesting. What does this say about SF culture? Was it particularly "celebratory" in the 70s and 80s? Interesting!!

    14. ed wh

      Where does this information come from?

    15. were


    16. advance to AID

      Who is saying this? Where does this info come from? Why is this information important to your THESIS?

    17. you

      Avoid "you"... It's like pointing a finger in someone's face. Do you mean me, personally? Probably not...

    18. I enjoy writing about these topics because they have not always been implemented the same over the past years. Time and culture have kept changing and moving, showing evidence of success in the gay community today compared to past times. Finally I will be writing about the government and how social science and medicine play a role in this epidemic as well. Below are the sections of the quilt that I chose to research, and focused more on to see what kind of material culture I could pull out of it and learn more about.

      This passage is doing some important things: signposting, tell us what you "will do" and why you will do it. But the why doesn't make much sense. What is your thesis?

    19. I would first like to discuss how San Francisco

      This comes out of nowhere... Why SF? How is this paragraph related to the one that came before it?

    20. us i

      "us"? Is this quoted material?

    21. From Michaels friends and family to him they say, for your faith, acts of kindness, love for family, and forthrightness, We Celebrate.

      Is this quoted material? If so, you need quotation marks.

    22. The next thing

      Why language that lists... Is the order of information important?

    23. He has been described numerous times by peers that he has an uplifting spirit that has a passion for helping others through a church he is involved in.

      Why not quote them? Use their own words! They are more credible than you are because they knew him, right?

    24. I have received

      This makes it sound like they sent the letters to you!

    25. ,

      semi colon here because you are relating two complete clauses.

    1. their

      Who is "they"?

    2. ity (6). C

      quotation marks needed?

    3. his post is about the different interpretations of the HIV/AIDS epidemic based off the different organized religions, particularly in America.

      What has this to do with your thesis?

    4. Nevertheless,

      Do you need this word?