- Aug 2021
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human.libretexts.org human.libretexts.org
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And in the age of Facebook and smartphones, you might be writing all the time
People are writing now more than ever before.
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mycourses.cccs.edu mycourses.cccs.edu
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That means spendinga lot of time patiently listening to the other person teach herself through her narration,
You also can't try to help someone if you don't understand their perspective and situation. That's like running blind.
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“Even when we can’t agree on Dad’smedical care, I’ve never doubted your good intentions. I know you want the best for him.”
In laymen's terms "agree to disagree."
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But in conversation it’s best to act as if attention had an on/off switch with no dimmer. Total focus. I have a friendwho listens to conversations the way congregants listen to sermons in charismatic churches — with amens, andapprobations. The effect is magnetic
Something I relate this to is holding eye contact. My mom was a very firm "look at me when I am talking to you" person and now I notice when people keep eye contact and when they don't. It's something I deliberately focus on when talking or listening to others.
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Or we ask yes/no questions: Did you have a good day? Which basically shut off interesting answers
This reminds me of my acting class I took. When we worked on improv the main of the person starting the scene was to make it open. If you started with a question best answered in yes or no it was likely that the partner would have to work harder to make the scene interesting. In addition, when responding if using yes or no it was always required you supplement it with something else. I relate this sentence as a fifty fifty back and forth between both speaker and answerer. It is necessary that the speaker doesn't lead with too many yes no questions, but it is also important that the person responding puts in input as well.
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