Being from Chicago and going to play football at the next level is a rarity of its own. Knowing that I could go play Division I football was a great feeling since I had become one of very few that are provided with the opportunity to do so.
I added a more personal connection so the reader understands my point of view.
Shortly after our football season ended I had received my first athletic scholarship.
I had to 'cut the excess', give concrete details and be direct on what I'm trying to say.
That was another part of my frustration as I had been at Boston College since the spring trying to learn the playbook and he had just got to BC in the summer and was already in front of me in the rotation.
I added details on moments where I felt like I was worrying about what people around me had going on.
I still wasn’t too comfortable with the playbook and learning the plays so would end up messing up and having missed assignment (not doing the right thing) on the field. For each practice there would be a new install and you would have to know what’s going on and execute the plays correctly. I was getting frustrated because my roommate, who I came to BC with, understood the plays as they were installing them.
This is a moment where I had to add details on how I was feeling and comparing myself to people around me.
t’s the morning of April 9, 2022, the date of the annual Jay McGillis Memorial Spring Football Game, held at alumni arena at Boston College.
I had to rewrite the entire essay so that it could it could become a story with a beginning, a pivotal moment, and an end.
Being from Chicago and going to play football at the next level is a rarity of its own. Knowing that I could go play Division I football was a great feeling since I had become one of very few that are provided with the opportunity to do so.
I added a more personal connection so the reader understands my point of view.
Shortly after our football season ended I had received my first athletic scholarship.
I had to 'cut the excess', give concrete details and be direct on what I'm trying to say.
I still wasn’t too comfortable with the playbook and learning the plays so would end up messing up and having missed assignment (not doing the right thing) on the field. For each practice there would be a new install and you would have to know what’s going on and execute the plays correctly. I was getting frustrated because my roommate, who I came to BC with, understood the plays as they were installing them.
This is a moment where I had to add details on how I was feeling and comparing myself to people around me.
That was another part of my frustration as I had been at Boston College since the spring trying to learn the playbook and he had just got to BC in the summer and was already in front of me in the rotation.
I added details on moments where I felt like I was worrying about what people around me had going on.
It’s the morning of April 9, 2022, the date of the annual Jay McGillis Memorial Spring Football Game, held at alumni arena at Boston College.
I had to rewrite the entire essay so that it could it could become a story with a beginning, a pivotal moment, and an end.