They expected their children to talk back to them, to negotiate, to question adults in positions of authority. If their children were doing poorly at school, the wealthier parents challenged their teachers. They inter­vened on behalf of their kids. One child Lareau follows just misses qualifying for a gifted program. Her mother arranges for her to be retested privately, petitions the school, and gets her daughter admitted. The poor parents, by contrast, are intimidated by authority.

The particular skill that allows you to talk your way out of a murder rap, or convince your professor to move you from the morning to the afternoon section, is what the psy­chologist Robert Sternberg calls "practical intelligence."

Oh, and by the way, in graduate school he tried to kill his tutor.

It is a heartbreaking story.

Chris Langan's mother was from San Francisco and was estranged from her family. She had four sons, each with a different father. Chris was the eldest. His father disap­peared before Chris was born; he was said to have died in Mexico. His mother's second husband was murdered. Her third committed suicide. Her fourth was a failed journal­ist named Jack Langan.

The Terman results are deeply distressing.

By focusing them on the process they engaged in — their effort, their strategies, their concentration, their perseverance, or their improvement.

Other students believe that intelligence is something that can be cultivated through effort and education.

Instead, teach them how much fun a challenging task is, how interesting and informative errors are, and how great it is to struggle with something and make progress. Most of all, teach them that by taking on challenges, making mistakes, and putting forth effort, they are making themselves smarter.

Those with a growth mindset were much more interested in learning than in just looking smart in school.

Can a growth mindset be taught directly to kids? If it can be taught, will it enhance their motivation and grades?

In our society, we seem to worship talent — and we often portray it as a gift. Now we can see that this is not motivating to our students. Those who think they have this gift expect to sit there with it and be successful. When they aren't successful, they get defensive and demoralized, and often opt out. Those who don't think they have the gift also become defensive and demoralized, and often opt out as well.

we find that students with a fixed mindset care so much about how smart they will appear that they often reject learning opportunities — even ones that are critical to their success

Many students believe that intelligence is fixed, that each person has a certain amount and that's that.

“portal to more exclusive classes.” Citing an “underlying fear” that they would be “exposed” in front of their peers and professors “as too stupid for college classes,” many of the students observed by Cox “exhibited very low tolerance for feeling confused or making mistakes” and often did not seek extra assistance to understand new skills or information. Others even deliberately skipped assignments, for fear that turning them in would earn them a poor grade and confirm their inadequacy.

It wasn't good looks, physical health, and it wasn't IQ.

But what if doing well in school and in life depends on much more than your ability to learn quickly and easily?

So growth mindset is a great idea for building grit. But we need more. And that's where I'm going to end my remarks, because that's where we are. That's the work that stands before us.

In other words, we need to be gritty about getting our kids grittier.

The honest answer is, I don't know

Grit is passion and perseverance for very long-term goals.