90 Matching Annotations
  1. Apr 2018
    1. It is very important to me in this project t

      Why is it so important? Is reader participation part of your feminist practice or resistance to orientalism, in that you want to practice a desire to learn and understand, rather than an impulse to master and authorize?

  2. May 2016
  3. Dec 2015
    1. In his book “Material Modernism: The Politics of the Page”,

      Excellent opening that gets straight to the point and sets up a clear, helpful summary of Bornstein.

    2. t significantly misrepresents the authorial intent

      Can you say more about how it misrepresents the meaning? How does the title change alter the political meaning of the poem? Why is "The White House" so much more pointed and inflammatory than "White Houses"? Similarly, how does the change to the final lines affect the meaning of the poem. After a strong set up for a careful close reading of the two versions of the poem, you seem to stop just when you get to the good stuff! Close read the poems to show how they mean different things!

    3. Here you need a signal phrase such as "According to Henry Louis Gates," to mark the beginning of the borrowed material, with the parenthetical to mark the end of it.

    4. The Liberator was radically political magazine that emerged around 1918. The editor of this magazine was communist sympathizer Max Eastman. Eastmen published various politically charged works in his magazine and included a wealth of information about the socialist movement that was taking place on a global scale.

      Where is the citation for this information?

    5. To readers unfamiliar with Atavist, you might provide instructions in the caption telling them to slide the arrow right to left to see full page vs. single sonnet view. Though in this case, i think the slider is unnecessary, since the sonnet is so legible on the full page.

    6. poem

      You might note that it's in the form of a Shakespearean sonnet. It seems significant that he would protest within the preeminent literary form of the English language!

    7. Claude McKay

      What is the source of this image? Caption is incomplete. Also should you provide a source for the biographical information below?

    8. Where is the citation for this information?

    1. senseless things”

      and yet, the tea leaves' prophecy proves accurate.

    2. Her plays did not often find recognition as significant literary contributions in the way that her poetry did because they did not fit the feminine ideals of tradition and purity expected of women poets at the time.

      excellent intro so far. Does this idea need a citation?

    1. [1]

      I don't think this acknowledgment is necessary. You've cited me plenty! just take it out.

    2. mantle

      It's worth re-reading the previous section's discussion of Mantled, because it offers different definitions, so you've got an apparent dissonance between the sections, each written as if it's the only one to discuss the "mantle" trope.

    3. why does “the son” appear so frequently?

      excellent argument, but is it worth acknowledging that Johnson herself had only sons--no daughters?

    4. uish,t

      missing space

    1. Prejudice is mantle is body

      fascinating and problematic equation, because it means that the black body is being rejected as burdensome, in favor of the supposedly more pure spirit. Reminds me of Blake's Little Black Boy, where the innocent speaker internalizes white society's condemnation of the black body.

    2. and follow the linguistic and bibliographic codes into a marginalized and complicated lif

      Here you seem to be allowing sound to trump sense. This last phrase sounds dramatic, but doesn't make clear sense. Can we really follow the codes into a marginalized life? Maybe it would be more accurate to say we must read the linguistic codes along with the bibliographic codes in order to understand the complicated identity politics of the poem.

    3. introducing an ambiguity absent in previous versions.

      It seems to me that the change in punctuation from period to comma (which is the only difference I detect) changes the antecedent. With the period, "Reft of the fetters modifies" the spirit; with the comma it refers back to "prejudice," which makes more sense. Seems like GDJ is simply correcting a typo!

    4. that

      delete "that" for parallel structure

    5. And so

      "And so"? Why? I don't understand the logic of your argument. Why, when she says it's "entirely racial" do you insist that it's not?

    6. This is the reading, we propose to crack open, not limiting

      unnecessary comma following reading, but even without the comma, I don't understand the logic.

      Please also be aware that every instantiation has bibliographic codes--some are just more obvious than others.

    7. This is limiting. Without the bibliographic codes to understand the significance of language like “mantled,” the reader cannot possibly understand the layered significance in this work.

      Rephrase for stronger conclusion:

      Separated from the bibliographic codes that emphasis race in the Crisis, the poem in the context of the anthology is reduced to a lament about gender.

    8. A reader of The Anthology of Magazine Verse edition of “TO THE MANTLED” would not be wrong to read this poem as a lyric about the oppression of women written by a woman

      Watch this tendency to write in negatives statements that would work more concisely in the affirmative, e.g.. Within the context of the Anthology of Magazine Verse, To the Mantled comes across as a lyric by a woman and about the oppression of women.

      I'm not sure how Braithwaite encourages this reading, since all the poems in the anthology are treated the same way. I would not attribute such strong intentionality to his placement.

    9. As a final example, the poem “Elevation” in Johnson’s collection speaks of the “highways in the soul […] Far beyond earth-veiled eyes.” The soul’s elevation is like the spirit which “soars aloft” in “TO THE MANTLED.” This continues.

      As a final example of what?

      And what continues? That final sentence is a puzzler!

    10. On page 5

      Really, only student writers use page #s like this. This site is too sophisticated an impressive for such gestures. Put the page #s in parentheses at the end of the sentence and don't use them to pad your prose or substitute for thoughtful transitions!

    11. does not debunk

      change to affirmative? supports this analysis?

    12. They

      How did the interested reader become "They." Should be "he," "she" or "a reader"

    13. page 398

      the biographical section at the end of the book? (page #s aren't really helpful in this context)

    14. t has historically held significance in the phrase, “the mantle and the ring,” referring to a vow of chastity a widow would take upon the death of her husband. Second, during this period, black artists and intellectuals co-opted the term to refer to the racial ‘cloak’ that limits the black body.

      VERY IMPORTANT! There seems to be a missing citation here. Please add it ASAP.

    15. Before moving forward

      This is a strange transition. Why do we need this information now? Wouldn't it be better at the beginning, when you first mention the term?

    16. not at all limited to a racial or gendered group

      According to my scanning of the volumes, the 1917 edition is the first one to include African American writers. Prior to that year, the anthologies were limited to white poets.

    17. the “

      confusing punctuation.

      Maybe change to:

      The Mantled referred to in the title and addressed as "they" in the poem are "colored people."

    18. on the seventeenth page of

      rep. Maybe just say which issue.

    19. the reader of the poem have to the text of the poem

      a bit mind boggling. Would anything be lost if you trimmed it to: "does the reader have to the text of the poem"?

    20. attend to

      make sense of their differences?

      Seems like the answer to how to attend to them is quite obvious: pay attention to them!

    21. Johnson published a second version in William Stanley Braithwaite’s An Anthology of Magazine Verse, which claimed to use the The Crisis version

      to avoid overuse of claim, rephrase:

      Later that year, William Stanley Braithwaite reprinted the Crisis version of the poem in his 1917 Anthology of Magazine Verse.

    22. editoria

      editorial interventions

    1. her poems are often conventional

      But wait: for a black woman to claim conventional feminine and material feelings and ideals is actually a daring defiance of race conventions (as that earlier awful Williams quotation shows: black women and men were considered outside the categories of "woman" and "man"). To claim gender conventions is to defy race conventions, no?

    2. almost

      why "almost" anagogical (a word I had to look up, which could use some clarification, since you don't seem to be talking about spiritual matters).

    3. she

      Johnson. [otherwise "she" could refer to Churchill]

    4. The two versions of Johnson’s poems are also linguistically different

      I'm wondering if, in this section, you'd be better off just comparing Shall I Say in the Crisis to Prufrock on Poetry. It would be more efficient and prepare for your argument about different modernities, without stealing the thunder of the How to read a Poem section. I think that the important lesson in this section is that Johnson, read out of context, seems simple and conventional, but read in context becomes a more complex figure. In contrast, Eliot is complex on the page, even in his original publication context, which isolated the poem anyway.

    5. horse in a dreamlike state

      is the horse in a dreamlike state?

    6. Churchill’s phrase

      weird citation.

    7. August 1919 issue of The Crisi

      Why not include a facsimile of her poem next to the facsimile of Prufrock?

    8. first stanza

      Can we see the poem? It's hard to understand the comparison without being able to read the first stanza.

    9. erratic, illogical and forgetful

      This letter is certainly damning, but it doesn't suggest that he thinks she's trite. Maybe requote the passage above and say that while he publicly described her work as "simple and sometimes trite," he was privately more damning, writing in a letter of recommendation: "She is erratic..."

    10. constructing

      seeking reinforcement for their own stereotypical portrayals of black men as...

    11. original periodical context?

      seems like you've already got a strong answer to this question, so why go backwards? Might be better to say: to appreciate GDJ as a poet, we must read her in the contexts in which she published. In these contexts, what appears conventional proves to be a more complex grappling with intersectional constraints that characterize her experience of modernity.

    12. Poet

      eliminate cap on poet

    13. somewhat

      not sure you need the "somewhat" qualifier. It is reductive.

    14. Johnson’s Author’s Note. Bronze. 1922.

      consider moving up to epigraph position or just after you quote this sentence.

    1. By examining the bibliographic codes of The Crisis, we hope a more thorough reading of Johnson’s work will acknowledge the complexity of her personal and artistic experience, as well as the intersection of identity, oppression, and artistic achievement that black female poets at the turn of the century wrote despite, about, and against.

      Beautifully stated! Put a version of this sentence at the end of the Bibliographic codes section, in the place of the claim to access the "true intended meaning."

    2. wrote that

      can you provide a bit more context? When did he write this and where? Who was he?

    3. from the fear of their children being lynched to an increased risk of their newborns dying from health complications.

      seems like you should reverse the chronology and have newborns first and change second clause to"fear of their children facing discrimination, violence, and even lynching."

    4. to combat the manifold and simultaneous oppressions

      is the boldface in the original? If not, add a parenthetical that says (emphasis added).

    5. often creating a complex convergence of oppression

      Again, I think the diagram deserves more than a link--an actual caption acknowledging its author. And while I suggested that you maintain the b & w and bronze aesthetic of the site, I think the color diagram worked better. In black and white, it renders the disable almost invisible.

    6. the study of intersectionality.

      I think Giovana deserves at least a caption for this animated spoken word poem, if not explicit introduction and acknowledgment. The citation at the bottom of the page seems like an insufficient acknowledgment.

      Possibly also center and even enlarge the video frame to make it parallel to the size and location of the New Yorker comic.

    1. we are more equipped to discover the true intended meaning of her work

      ah, the thorny issue of intention. I think this is a red herring. What strikes me as most promising about reading bibliographic codes is not their potential to unearth the true, intended meaning (does the author even know? is that the only valid meaning?), but its potential to bring to light complexity and innovation in her poetry that might be overlooked if the poems were read merely as linguistic objects.

    2. Generally speaking, editorial editions and adaptations of poetry are much more inclined to pander to the ideas and messages that society, the editors, and publishing companies wish to convey—yet what can be said of their meaning to the original author?

      I'm not sure you can separate the author's own work from these pressures, but ok...

    3. d fem

      missing space

      also possibly change "adversarial atmosphere of a black and female poet" to "adversarial conditions faced by black and female poets."

    4. we often forget to acknowledge the historical presence

      historical context?

      Also, maybe you can restate this so you're not attacking a straw man. I think a stronger transition might be something like: Bornstein's methodology is especially effective for re-reading a poet like Georgia Douglas Johnson. When her poems are isolated and read solely for their linguistic codes, they may seem conventional and even unoriginal. But when read in the context of their bibliographic codes, the poems generate more complex meanings, drawing attention to the intersectional demands of race, class, and gender that she had to negotiate. As an African American female writer...

    5. Irrefutably, anthological presentations of poetry and literature displace them from their historical, political, and spatial contexts—scholars seem to agree on this—despite increasing access and availability

      Thanks for introducing me to Dettmar's critique of Bornstein. I like the way the sense of debate enlivens this discussion, though this paragraph seems a bit wordy and repetitive. It might be condensed to say something like: Dettmar criticizes Bornstein for lackin originality and for underestimating the value of well-edited anthologies: [emperor's new clothes quotation]. But if Bornstein's argument isn't original, it has the virtue of compiling a set of theories to produce a practical methodology that helps us read poems and appreciate poems whose complexity does not lie solely in their material contexts. [this kind of statement would lead smoothly to your next section]

    6. Dettmar,

      cut the comma

    7. , and should,

      cut the commas

    8. in order to place them within a more complex contextual setting

      This last phrase dangles. Possibly revise to say: Literature is most fully understood not merely as words on a page, but as a collaboration between those linguistic codes and the bibliographic codes that anchor them in more complex, material, and historical contexts.

    9. (Qtd. In Bornstein 7)

      change to (qtd in Bornstein 7)

    10. This begs the question

      This "begs the question" is a cliche that is used in ways that don't reflect it's actual meaning. Can you rephrase this sentence without relying on a cliche? I'm not sure why our tendency to focus on linguistic codes leads to the question about self-reflexivity. What do you mean by self-reflexive? I think you may mean autonomous, independent, and self-bounded.

    1. ot stop her from writing

      But she did have trouble getting her work published during this time, no?

    2. She showed dedication to her family, especially continuing her son’s education, shedding light on why motherhood was such an emphasized theme throughout her poetry

      This sentence lacks a period. Also would make more sense if revised to say: Her dedication to her family, especially to supporting her son's education, sheds light on why motherhood is such a prevalent theme in her poetry.

    3. Qtd. In Shaf

      change to (qtd in Shafer 231). i.e. eliminate caps and period after qtd

    4. ,

      delete this comma

    5. Building off

      Propelled by? Energized by? "Building off" gives agency to "her literary career," which is not a sentient agent of action.

    6. standards

      high standards?

    7. B

      missing period after B.

    8. born

      insert: she was born...

    9. more recent scholarship

      would be a good idea to cite the scholars, at least in a parenthetical, though you could give them more credit by saying something like: Although scholars such as Gloria Hull and Claudia Tate have attempted to elevate her status and claim her originality...

    10. ,

      no comma

    1. ,;

      weird punctuation

    2. and intersectional studies permeate the two,

      Is this really the case, or are you the pioneers in bringing the theory to bear on modernist periodical studies? I would take this phrase out and just say: as periodical studies grows and the modernist canon expands,...

    3. Literary Editor

      capitalization unnecessary

    4. e”

      Missing punctuation and citation.

    5. claim of the early magazine as it competed with more radical publications like Fire!! and Harlem

      I still think this sentence is misleading. The early Crisis didn't compete with Fire!! which didn't even appear until after the Crisis had been in print for a decade and a half!!

  4. georgiadouglasjohnson.com georgiadouglasjohnson.com
    1. codes (the organization of the information on the page) makes

      see comment below.

    2. Maybe revise to maintain present tense, e.g.:

      like when a picture of a child appears...

      and suddenly the words no longer speak by themselves.

    3. bibliographic codes...make a multitude [revise for plural verb]

      Also I wonder if the codes themselves can make value judgments. Maybe they can imply or can elicit value judgments, but codes aren't sentient beings!

    1. -Archives (Archives and Bibliography).

      see above comment

    2. art and politic

      see note above on this section (I just figured out how to highlight).

    3. Abstract typos:

      1. art and politics [add s to politic]
      2. no comma after But we don't
      3. no cap on canon

      When you scroll down to instructions for reading the site, references to ARCHIVES need to be changed to SOURCES.

      Not trying to be nit-picky, but the landing pad is where you establish your credibility, so small typos matter!

  5. Nov 2015