It's tiring on eyes to read an entire paragraph of boldface type. Can you switch this to regular text and make a transition to invite readers outside the map? Talk to us the way you did at the beginning, e.g.: If you feel a bit dizzy after that tour of Paris, you have begun to realize the length and physical impossibility... You might also productively include some of the calculations you mentioned in class, like how many miles were traversed in navigating the city in this way, and how long it might take to do so.

Since you can't use italics, put the work's title in quotation marks.

Beautiful use of paintings to set the scene. Where can I find the artists, titles, etc. for these paintings?

I love how you've found so many archival photos and postcards. The images pull me back in time, while the map locates me in specific locations.

Is this your typo or how "carrousel" is spelled in the poem?

Is the image above this quotation one of the slogans she cites? I can't tell!

Good way to evoke historical and geographic coordinates simultaneously.

Are you referring to your own work? Or to the digital version of the poem that precedes it? This might be a good place to introduce the digital version and link to it, inviting readers to read the poem in full before returning to take the geographic journey with you.

I love the painting in the background, btw, which makes me feel like I'm about to zoom in and become one of those figures in the Paris park!

Can you include a parenthetical with the names of some of these scholars?

locates her where?

There doesn't seem to be a clear rule for what lines of text are larger. Is it quotations--from primary or secondary sources? Emphasis?

When and how did she die?

explain who the Blackbirds were.

I'm not sure what is the difference between historical contextualization and reading posthumous portraits.

put title in Italics. Also have you introduced Shuffle Along and explained her role in it already? Like Du Bois, this important reference needs more contextualizing to explain its significance as the first Broadway musical with an all Black cast (rather than white performers in blackface) and Florence Mills' role in the production. Was it her breakout performance?

might need a bit more context for readers unfamiliar with WEB Du Bois

Why is this text larger?

The story map is rich with archival details, but I'm having a bit of trouble distinguishing your narrative from the primary and quoted sources. Might be more effective to have a consistent rule of your narrative being in regular paragraph form, and quotations from primary sources appearing in those flying boxes?

I agree about the red curtain and think this text and the screen shots from newspapers would probably be more effective if just delivered, with the sentence above, in regular text/image format

Very effective animated collage that rebuilds the mythology even as it immerses me in it.

Use comman-shift-hyphen to create a real m-dash

put periodical titles in italics

Though clear and coherent, this conclusion feels like a bit of a let down after such subtle, perceptive, and engaging analysis. I think you might say how, after (or as an extension of ) collapsing the distinction between flaneuse and writer, the poem animates the reader in their combined role, inviting us to experience an autonomous, subjective, mutlisensory interiority, in which the self is not objectified nor objectifies others, but experiences its own power and permeability. In this way, the poem reminds me a bit of Walt Whitman's Song of Myself, which concludes by hailing the reader, saying: if you want me, look under your boot soles. We become Whitman, walking the streets of the newly formed American nation in his shoes.

makes me wish you'd found audio to play these notes, though I shouldn't be greedy ;-)

very intriguing and perceptive distinction.

Nicely done!

Paris at a particular point in the 1920s, when there were still roosters! You'd be unlikely to hear that today!

aha -- of course you already thought of that idea!

and perhaps also reflecting on how painters have depicted the space. Or maybe she's seeing the space via the paintings she's seen of it.

effects

The audio effect is brilliant! I can hear the berkekekek!!

wonderfully clear presentation and analysis of the opening lines.

Your insights are excellent, but here again check this tendency to attach dependent clauses that don't have a clear referent. This one attaches to "male gaze."

This clause dangles in this location, attaching itself to the "female flaneuse". Better to begin with the scholars, writing something like:

Scholars have noted that the poem posits the existence of a female... as an alternative to the male....

freely? nonchalantly? Also, what makes him hegemonic? Could the male flaneur ever be a queer or subversive figure?

This seems like a better, more diplomatic framing of your relationship to the digital edition than the one you provide above. Consider condensing to avoid the repetition.

great quotation and recuperating of a criticism into a strength!

Here I think you can praise the digital edition a bit more, given our debt to it, and soften your criticism while still differentiating yourself, e.g.

The digital edition makes the poem accessible to the public, providing detailed annotations of the poem's many now obscure references, and even linking them to a set of related archival images. As rich as this context is, delving into it may distance readers from their immersion in the sensory experience of the poem. Building on the foundation their digital edition provides, this multimedia essay aims to recreate that sensory experience online.

combine in one paragraph and provide a bit more information about the digital edition.

here's where you might intro the digital edition, saying: neglected until recently, when....

Clear, direct opening gets the necessary facts across.

A link to a source doesn't substitute for a citation, and here you risk losing your readers to the digital edition. Why not introduce that edition explicitly, link to, acknowledge your debt to, and distinguish your project from it right up front?

I love your interactive exhibits, and wonder what would happen if you intermixed them with your more formal essay writing? Also, Leah Duncan can show you a way to make the music play automatically with scroll, if that's something you would want.

Your analysis of Drift of Chaos II is so richly detailed that I quite long for the scrollyteller format so I can see the image side by side with your analysis!

Marvelous job linking the poems to the paintings. The inside/outside motif is rampant in her early poetry and tied to gender motifs in "Three Moments in Paris" and in "The Effectual Marriage," too.

It's a bit confusing when you cite "Three Moments" but then quote the poem "Parturition," which I don't think is part of the triptych, is it? Considering moving the passage from Parturition up to just after the paragraph where you discuss it. Or use Three Moments, instead of Parturtition to illustrate both the inside/outside motif and the multiple speakers approach.

Excellent question: I want to read your answer!

Here, you articulate a key point that seems essential to your original contribution to Loy studies. In some ways you're returning us to Conover's original insight about how she defies categorization by showing how she applies this individual touch to her paintings.

For some reason, Hypothesis isn't allowing me to making line item comments.

Here are a few small suggestions for your lucid, perceptive, beautifully written essay.

Since you cite our website so often, it feels like it falsely gives me credit for work that is collaborative or by other authors. It might be better to use the parenthetical (mina-loy.com) and/or cite the author of the particular page or item you're citing on that project. For example, you might use (Rosenbaum) for her chapters on Surrealism, and treat the citation as a chapter in an edited collection, where the author of the chapter is cited, and the edition info is secondary.

"Regardless, more work needs to be done" seems like a sentence that could be applied to almost any artist, and certainly any woman artist. Can you point to some more specific issue that needs attention? Such a move would foreground your contribution and whet our appetites prior to the lit review that follows.

Excellent, concise, confident, and illuminating lit review. It may be a bit unfair to charge Rosenbaum with categorizing Loy's work as Surrealist, since she's specifically looking at work Loy created when actively participating as artist, writer, and agent in Surrealist artistic activities AND she argues that Loy was critiquing Surrealism as much as participating, adopting en dehors garde strategies of engagement and resistance.

Fine job summarizing how your method differs from those before you, but I think you can sharpenn the articulation of what insight(s) your method will provide: what key nuances will your method reveal?

seems like a sentence that could be applied to almost any artist, and certainly any woman artist. Can you point to some more specific issue that needs attention? Such a move would foreground your contribution and whet our appetites prior to the lit review that follows.

In these annotations, I offer a few small suggestions for your lucid, perceptive, beautifully written essay.

Since you cite our website here and elsewhere so often, it feels like it falsely gives me credit for individual work that is collaborative or by other authors. It might be better to use the parenthetical (mina-loy.com) and/or cite the author of the particular page or item you're citing on that project. For example, you might use (Rosenbaum) for her chapters on Surrealism, and treat the citation as a chapter in an edited collection, where the author of the chapter is cited, and the edition info is secondary.

These questions seem more general than your focus, which seems to be: How can Bennett's short story help us understand how Black time shapes conceptions of Black selfhood.

How does Bennett refuse resolution, yet Jenks finds closure. Again, including textual evidence would help make this distinction.

Good use of quotation. Please insert a page reference.

what arrival?

This is a fascinating insight that requires textual evidence to be persuasive.

Perhaps a quotation showing how he traverses interior terrain could help illustrate this claim.

This is very impressive reasoning and sophisticated language. It would be more persuasive if you found evidence from the text to show that Jenks is Black and that racial awareness is evident in the narrative.

Accumulation of what?

A bit hard to follow. By the time I get to "it," I've lost track of the referent. Can you simplify this sentence?

This is a cool effect, but how does it relate to the argument you're making? Frame your media the way you would quotations, explaining where they come from and how they support your argument.

use single quotation marks for a quote within a quote

insert comma

Interesting geographic metaphor. You might want to define the term "stratographic" for those (like me) who aren't familiar with it.

This is so fascinating, and again, I find the photos from Bennett's childhood a bit distracting because not immediately relevant to the argument your making about this story.

excellent! Your prose is often clearer than your expert sources!

This phrase dangles, so I'm not sure who's doing the integrating here.

I have trouble understanding the the "hiatus of unrecognizability" (also missing quotation mark here?). Is it when something stops being unrecognizable? Sometimes it's better to put a key idea in your own words than to quote jargon out of context!

Illuminating close reading wonderfully prepares me for analysis that follows. You do a great job pointing how prominent the theme of time is, especially at the end, when you offer this quotation: "When I die I want you to give it to her, if it's a thousand years from now…just a token of a time we were in love." And then follow it with the token of the radium clock. So clear, yet I never noticed until you pointed it out!

very sophisticated, perceptive, and theoretically informed thesis.

excellent! I actually find that your discussion of the story is so engrossing that the photos of Bennett are distracting. Consider taking them out after the initial bio to let us focus on the story. If you want visual interest, consider inserting a relevant and mood-setting quotation from the story, set off as a floating block.

not clear who spent time; consider changing to: and his time in jail

why?

Might be clearer to say "dual experience of belonging and creative flourishing, combined with exile and personal precarity, threads itself..."

Should be year-long

This is also an SWC note.

If we are going to keep initials by each note, this one should end with (SWC), since it's an argument I make in my chapter on the plays, here: https://mina-loy.com/chapters/courting-an-audience/6-the-sacred-prostitute/

Loy wrote this in a letter to Mabel Dodge Luhan, which is digitized here:

Mina Loy, Letters to Mabel Dodge Luhan. Mabel Dodge Luhan Papers, Yale Collection of American Literature, Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript Library. https://collections.library.yale.edu/catalog/10000282

The quotation can be found on image 16.

Citation for these letters:

Mina Loy. Letters to Carl Van Vechten. Carl Van Vechten Papers, Yale Collection of American Literature, Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript Library. https://collections.library.yale.edu/catalog/2043789

The first quotation can be found on image 40; the second on image 36.

Here again, i don't have time to proof the play itself, but I suggest proofreading it against the version reprinted in Sara Crangle's Stories and Essays of Mina Loy, which is the authoritative edition of the play.

These letters can be found in the Beinecke digital collection, so consider adding a link and citation:

Mina Loy. Letters to Carl Van Vechten. Carl Van Vechten Papers, Yale Collection of American Literature, Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript Library. https://collections.library.yale.edu/catalog/2043789

The first quotation comes from images 104-105; the second quotation comes from image 44 in this digital exhibit.

We could also refer readers to my chapter on the plays, which I included in a previous note: https://mina-loy.com/chapters/courting-an-audience/

Or to the specific section on The Pamperers: https://mina-loy.com/chapters/courting-an-audience/7-the-pamperers/

I would suggest putting The Sacred Prostitute before The Pamperers to publish them in chronological order. Also you might add to this paragraph the sentence:

Although the play was never produced in Loy's lifetime, it was published in The Dial* in July 1920 (vol. 69, no. 1, pp. 65-78).

For this reason, I think it's better to print The Sacred Prostitute before The Pamperers in this collection.

Add period at the end of this sentence. Also please cite my chapter Suzanne W. Churchill. "Courting an Audience: Loy's Plays," Mina Loy: Navigating the Avant-Garde, edited by Churchill, Linda A. Kinnahan, and Susan Rosenbaum, University of Georgia, 2020. https://mina-loy.com/chapters/courting-an-audience/. Accessed 4 June 2024.

Alternatively, you can link to the chapter section on The Sacred Prostitute, which is where this info comes from: https://mina-loy.com/chapters/courting-an-audience/6-the-sacred-prostitute/

A citation for the Feminist Manifesto is:

Loy, Mina. "Feminist Manifesto." The Lost Lunar Baedeker: Poems of Mina Loy, edited by Roger Conover. New York, Farrar, Straus, & Giroux, 1996, p. 154.

I might cut this note, since it's not clear what Woolf is echoed and isn't a definitive echo anywya.

italicize book titles.

I don't have time to proof this entire play, but hopefully someone else already has or will do so? I've been comparing it to the Dial publication, but probably better to look at Sara Crangle's edited version, reprinted in the Essays and Stories of Mina Loy. This is also the authoritative addition of Sacred Prostitute.

This appears more like a poem. There aren't line breaks in the same place in the Dial publication. Also, replace hyphens with full m-dashes with a space before and after each one.

In the Dial publication, these lines are indented so that the two columns appear on the center of the page (both left aligned).

Shouldn't The Sacred Prostitute come before The Pamperers to present them in chronological order?

Citation for Bay-Cheng:

Bay-Cheng, Sarah. “Modernist Poetic Drama: A Critical Introduction,” Poets at Play: An Anthology of Modernist Drama, edited by Barbara Cole. Selinsgrove, PA: Susequehana University Press, 2010.

change hyphen to m-dash

delete and insert "and"

italicize Lacerba. Also consider deleting "I think that" in the next sentence and starting with: "These references are important...."

Although I love this construction, it's not clear to me why it's here or how it relates to these two plays. It seems to me to represent a very different focus, style, and concern than these early plays. If an image/illustration is desired, maybe include the photo of Loy dressed for the Blind Man's Ball? Or one of her early drawings or paintings?

In the Rogue publication, the final line is followed by a space, then:

February 28, 1915, Firenze.

move footnote to end of line

remove dash, which is not in original Rogue publication.

Perhaps worth linking to the manuscript in the Beinecke's digital collection: https://collections.library.yale.edu/catalog/2112213

Two Plays are digitized in images 42-47 of this digital exhibit, which can be cited:

Loy, Mina. Poems and Plays. 1914. Carl Van Vechten Papers. Yale Collection of American Literature, Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript Library. https://collections.library.yale.edu/catalog/2112213.

Check with Laura, but I think it's distracting to have our initials after each note. I'd be happy to have them eliminated.

change comma to dash for clarity.

Did Laura mean to substitute citations or links here?

add punctuation: planes, etc.,

The word CREATION—" should appear centered on the next line, like a header parallel to DISHARMONY. above.

The underscores beneath the footnote reference are a bit confusing/distracting because they look like Loy's dashes. Can they be eliminated?

This Header is centered in the Rogue publication

Is there a reason why these first 5 lines are spaced more widely apart? In the original publication in Rogue, the first five lines are actually centered. When the man speaks, the lines shift to left alignment for the rest of the script, but all lines are spaced the same throughout.

Remove "s": The title is "Collision"

For clarity, consider adding:

However, the term may also have a sexual valence, since in "Songs to Joannes," a long poetic sequence....

In American publications, comma usually goes inside quotation mark (in British ones, it looks like this).

Would it be possible to add a citation to my chapter on the plays, since this is a key argument I put forth there? The citation would be:

Suzanne W. Churchill. "Courting an Audience: Loy's Plays," Mina Loy: Navigating the Avant-Garde, edited by Churchill, Linda A. Kinnahan, and Susan Rosenbaum, University of Georgia, 2020. https://mina-loy.com/chapters/courting-an-audience/. Accessed 4 June 2024.

Seems like these 3 sections could be combined into one Introduction to "Mina Loy: Futurism, Feminism and the Right to 'Genius.'"

The epigraph from the Pamperers could come before the short Introduction to Mina Loy.

The contents of the Futurism, Feminism & etc. page seem more like a title page, so perhaps the info belongs in copyrights?

Add "white": historically championed white, European men

Add comma after access

Cool idea to have a map, but it doesn't feel very interactive!. The marker name a place, but don't include any pictures. when I click on the linked chapters, it takes me away from the map. What about adding a Knight Lab JS StoryMap and showing where they moved in Ireland and the US?

her

how are these details relevant to their story? Were they interested in this history?

This is vivid storytelling. Strive to make more scenes feel like this, as if we're in the moment.

her plan, not she and his plan

above you say they were guaranteed a way back, so this seems contradictory. Did they initially misunderstand the laws or did they change?

what did she miss most?

while on the bus? this is a little confusing!

Was this a lucrative enough job for him to be the sole financial provider? Whatever happened to his gambling habit?

But you said she didn't have any anxiety. And why was it so easy to move back and forth? How wealthy were they? their story seems to contradict assumptions about Irish immigrants and poverty, so you might say more about their economic position.

When is this picture take and when was this written? Did this reputation come after they moved there or before?

can you include some of these stories?

What about the vibrant, supportive Irish American community you wrote of?

she

What matched her dreams and what exactly were they? I only heard that she dreamed of beaches. Knowing so little of her dreams and of her family life it's hard to understand how they aligned.

Wait, when did they have children? What was Mairead's experience of childbirth and infant motherhood like? Did she keep working or stay at home? Seems like an important chapter is missing!

Given that the father is such a pillar of the family, it seems strange that we didn't hear about him in the courtship/wedding chapter. Would he have had a say about his daughter's suitor? Wouldn't she have been sad to leave him?

Spaces between paragraphs occasionally is inconsistent in these chapters.

Why go back to her childhood here? Can you prepare for or build a transition?

who is "they" in this sentence?

These paragraphs feel very thin. Can you flesh them out with more details?

How are these newspaper clips functioning? Are you expecting your readers will read them? (they're pretty small for my old eyes). Would it help to frame them with a little more context, e.g. when you describe the news paper saying something about the Letters to the Editor and the reflections on St. Patrick's day, maybe even pulling out quotations from the pieces you incorporate?

But Red Bank is a suburb, not a city. I don't understand this remark!

awkward syntax

Don't you kind of wonder what they did there?

missing paragraph break?

Also it would be nice down her to have a button link to move to the next chapter, rather than having to scroll back up to the top of the page.

Or maybe she couldn't bear to say goodbye because she knew what a risk she was taking, and it was too painful to confront the loss of her mother?

What is the significance of this detail?

Say more?

Can you ask your grandmother if her mother's choice of marriage over adventure influenced her not to make the same sacrifices? (though in her case, marriage was the ticket to adventure, so she didn't really have to make the same choice. Nevertheless, she may have heard her mother express regret about dreams not pursued, and didn't want to clip her own wings.)

Images are too small to see/read

We haven't really seen this yet.

tense change

What is she implying? His family was too stingy to supply a full meal? or too generous with tea and cake?

Feels a bit choppy. Can you provide more details here?

Can you embellish this with the stories/images/beach scenes Angela described to her, to prepare for the next paragraph?

Yet on the home page, you say it was characteristic of the Irish experience. Seems slightly contradictory that something so commonplace could also be so exotic.

This sentence changes tense: what is the timeframe in this section. When did this realization occur to you and why?

returned to Dublin from where? and when? Reorder sentences to iron out confusion.

What about incorporating an image of your text exchange, if you still have it?

why did it make more sense? How old were you? Can you develop this anecdote to tell us more about you, your relationship to her, and what these linguistic differences meant to you as a child---or mean now?

vocalizing seems like an odd verb, possibly one that requires an object. Maybe say: listen to her tell tales of life in Dublin in her thick Irish accent as she sipped her ever-present cup of Lipton tea. The Lipton detail is interesting--is it important? Does it signal that she's assimilated American culture and brands?

This "welcome" seems like something that comes with a WordPress theme, rather than the beginning of a creative nonfiction essay. Can you adapt the affordances of the WP theme to better reflect your genre and appeal to your readers?

On the other hand, the photo of your grandmother as a bride is captivating. Something about her smile with the slight underbit and the way she's tucking her chin suggests a mixture of skepticism, hopefulness, and gumption! Do you want to caption the image with her name and the date of the photo?

I admire the way you are thinking about and articulating your goals, but I wonder if this really is the goal of your project. Are you most interested in the larger landscape, or in capturing something distinctive and dynamic about your grandmother within this context? "Through one courageous immigrant's story" sounds too cliched for your own distinctive voice!

Are you going to use a footnote plugin or MLA style for citations?

What period are you referring to?

My, grandmother, Mairead...

Name her if you name him.

Also, you know what might be fun? Incorporating a short audio of her pronouncing her own name. I realized I don't know how to pronounce it!

Cut the adverb and let your readers feel the surprise.

Try using the quotation block to see how it looks.

The chronology seems a bit wrinkly here. Maybe the engagement ring paragraph could be moved down to here?

unnecessary comma.

These call outs are more disruptive here than in your word doc because of the white space that breaks up the narrative. Maybe a plugin or another theme would allow more options for formatting.

men, presumably?

I don't understand this fully. Why did they have to move to sponsor their friends? Why did he have to leave his job to work at the same restaurant as his friend?

Do you have the kind of relationship where you can ask her about birth control? I'm always curious to know what was available to women in various eras. Given her family's history of large families, Irish women didn't seem to have much access to birth control in Ireland!

Can you use the caption feature or a header to distinguish image captions from your narrative?

I wonder if you need to be in the narrative more consistently?

the vessel's

Maybe just say:

K and P were close, having grown up in a family of 15 children packed into a two-bedroom home.

Why is it so important? Is reader participation part of your feminist practice or resistance to orientalism, in that you want to practice a desire to learn and understand, rather than an impulse to master and authorize?

What is "mastery"?

Excellent opening that gets straight to the point and sets up a clear, helpful summary of Bornstein.

Can you say more about how it misrepresents the meaning? How does the title change alter the political meaning of the poem? Why is "The White House" so much more pointed and inflammatory than "White Houses"? Similarly, how does the change to the final lines affect the meaning of the poem. After a strong set up for a careful close reading of the two versions of the poem, you seem to stop just when you get to the good stuff! Close read the poems to show how they mean different things!

Here you need a signal phrase such as "According to Henry Louis Gates," to mark the beginning of the borrowed material, with the parenthetical to mark the end of it.

Where is the citation for this information?

To readers unfamiliar with Atavist, you might provide instructions in the caption telling them to slide the arrow right to left to see full page vs. single sonnet view. Though in this case, i think the slider is unnecessary, since the sonnet is so legible on the full page.

You might note that it's in the form of a Shakespearean sonnet. It seems significant that he would protest within the preeminent literary form of the English language!

What is the source of this image? Caption is incomplete. Also should you provide a source for the biographical information below?

Where is the citation for this information?

and yet, the tea leaves' prophecy proves accurate.

excellent intro so far. Does this idea need a citation?

I don't think this acknowledgment is necessary. You've cited me plenty! just take it out.

It's worth re-reading the previous section's discussion of Mantled, because it offers different definitions, so you've got an apparent dissonance between the sections, each written as if it's the only one to discuss the "mantle" trope.

excellent argument, but is it worth acknowledging that Johnson herself had only sons--no daughters?

missing space

fascinating and problematic equation, because it means that the black body is being rejected as burdensome, in favor of the supposedly more pure spirit. Reminds me of Blake's Little Black Boy, where the innocent speaker internalizes white society's condemnation of the black body.

Here you seem to be allowing sound to trump sense. This last phrase sounds dramatic, but doesn't make clear sense. Can we really follow the codes into a marginalized life? Maybe it would be more accurate to say we must read the linguistic codes along with the bibliographic codes in order to understand the complicated identity politics of the poem.

It seems to me that the change in punctuation from period to comma (which is the only difference I detect) changes the antecedent. With the period, "Reft of the fetters modifies" the spirit; with the comma it refers back to "prejudice," which makes more sense. Seems like GDJ is simply correcting a typo!

delete "that" for parallel structure

"And so"? Why? I don't understand the logic of your argument. Why, when she says it's "entirely racial" do you insist that it's not?

unnecessary comma following reading, but even without the comma, I don't understand the logic.

Please also be aware that every instantiation has bibliographic codes--some are just more obvious than others.

Rephrase for stronger conclusion:

Separated from the bibliographic codes that emphasis race in the Crisis, the poem in the context of the anthology is reduced to a lament about gender.

Watch this tendency to write in negatives statements that would work more concisely in the affirmative, e.g.. Within the context of the Anthology of Magazine Verse, To the Mantled comes across as a lyric by a woman and about the oppression of women.

I'm not sure how Braithwaite encourages this reading, since all the poems in the anthology are treated the same way. I would not attribute such strong intentionality to his placement.

As a final example of what?

And what continues? That final sentence is a puzzler!

Really, only student writers use page #s like this. This site is too sophisticated an impressive for such gestures. Put the page #s in parentheses at the end of the sentence and don't use them to pad your prose or substitute for thoughtful transitions!

change to affirmative? supports this analysis?

How did the interested reader become "They." Should be "he," "she" or "a reader"

the biographical section at the end of the book? (page #s aren't really helpful in this context)

VERY IMPORTANT! There seems to be a missing citation here. Please add it ASAP.

This is a strange transition. Why do we need this information now? Wouldn't it be better at the beginning, when you first mention the term?