- May 2022
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To summarize, I am prepared to conquer all hurdles in my path to achieving the career of my dreams so that I may contribute to my society. I am a firm believer in the concept of dreams coming true.
Finally, in these final few lines, I explained how I am prepared to tackle the difficult challenges that I know would inevitably arise since I am on a mission. That mission is to work hard for the career of my desires no matter how difficult it is in order to be stable enough to contribute to society successfully.
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I’d want to learn a lot from Professor Zimmerman so that I may obtain as much information as possible and use it in reality. It’s not about the work.
This is a "free write" that we did in class recently to think on how we want our experiences in this class to play out during the rest of the semester. As you can see from the first few phrases, I explained how I wanted to learn as much as possible to help me in the future. I made it very obvious that "it wasn't about the work" and that it goes far deeper than that.
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These items will help me prepare for my future in an efficient and successful manner. The need to engage with people in terms of evaluating them for the aim of acquiring a different point of view was one occasion this semester where the knowledge I received in class positively changed the way I approached an issue. I was patient enough to explore other perspectives, some of which disagreed with mine, so that I might learn about their opinions without bias or prejudice.
This section has a more detailed description of how I will utilize what I've learnt from this experience in the future. I simply stated a dull thing in my draft about how you need a decent set of communication skills to thrive in the field I want to pursue. In the final text, I emphasized how particular examples from the event are similar to ones I could meet in the future, and how the experience would be forever known.
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Specifically, when one of my classmates stated how he was struggling with the concept and another one of my classmates took the initiative to clarify it, I realized that that individual possibilities vary greatly among students. Each opportunity may be different based on how each student decides to engage the material and participate in class discussions, and each opportunity can, therefore, serve the purpose of giving a student with a chance to do well in class provided the student completely exploits his or her true full ability.
This annotation consists of me adding additional specific examples to my final copy. In this section, I precisely described the issue in broad terms with minimal elaboration. In the final, I was able to provide a bit more backstory to the event's location in order to offer the reader a greater understanding of the experience and how it affected me.
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I didn’t fully understand it at the time, but throughout my time as a freshman at Boston College I’ve realized that I have the power to alter myself for the better and broaden my perspective on life. For most of my high school experience, I was holding to antiquated thoughts that had an impact on the majority of my daily interactions. Throughout my life, growing up as a single child has affected the way am in social interactions. This was evident in high school class discussions, as I did not yet have the confidence to be talkative and participate even up until the spring term of my senior year.
Before I begin annotating, I want to make it obvious that this draft did not correspond to the requirements of the assignment. I was intended to arrange the draft such that the events lined up like a plot, but I failed miserably. So, to begin my final copy, I was able to rework my introduction to my pre-event experience.
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"I'd want to learn a lot from Professor Zimmerman so that I may obtain as much information as possible and use it in reality. It's not about the work."
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"To summarize, I am prepared to conquer all hurdles in my path to achieving the career of my dreams so that I may contribute to my society. I am a firm believer in the concept of dreams coming true."
Tags
- (Shorter Piece) First two-sentences
- The backdrop of this annotation is that it was a late-semester free writing for an essay brainstorm. In this piece of writing, I mentioned how I didn't know what to expect going into the project and wanted to learn as much as possible for my own betterment.
- (Shorter Piece) Last two-sentences
- I opted to work on this piece since it was a motivational piece that I believed could be elaborated upon. I was able to generate a big topic for one of my essays based on this post on how this class benefited me.
Annotators
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wordpress.com wordpress.com
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"I didn't fully understand it at the time, but throughout my time as a freshman at Boston College I've realized that I have the power to alter myself for the better and broaden my perspective on life. For most of my high school experience, I was holding to antiquated thoughts that had an impact on the majority of my daily interactions. Throughout my life, growing up as a single child has affected the way am in social interactions. This was evident in high school class discussions, as I did not yet have the confidence to be talkative and participate even up until the spring term of my senior year."
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"Specifically, when one of my classmates stated how he was struggling with the concept and another one of my classmates took the initiative to clarify it, I realized that that individual possibilities vary greatly among students."
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"The need to engage with people in terms of evaluating them for the aim of acquiring a different point of view was one occasion this semester where the knowledge I received in class positively changed the way I approached an issue. I was patient enough to explore other perspectives, some of which disagreed with mine, so that I might learn about their opinions without bias or prejudice."
Tags
- In my annotation, I addressed the problem of not stating how and why this circumstance benefits me in the future. In the annotation, I continued to describe how hearing other people's ideas and responding to their comments and insights during class discussions will aid me in my career aspirations.
- This annotation consisted of me continuing to do what I've been doing, which is primarily adding more direct experiences. In my draft for this one, I outlined the scenario of the triangle theory, but I did not go into further detail. Therefore, I resolved to describe the actual circumstances in order to offer the readers a better insight into the experience.
- (Major Essay) Introduction paragraph
- In this annotation, I choose to expand on my introduction. Before I explain why I chose the words I did, I should mention that my first draft failed to meet one of the assignment's primary requirements: a "Story like" structure. Finally, I decided to rework my introduction because my first draft did not begin with a clear beginning. Instead, I started by describing the fundamental context of the encounter before detailing my previous experiences. To improve my final edit, I made sure I described my experiences and/or how I felt before they occurred.
- (Major Essay) Climax paragraph. 3
- (Major Essay) Ending/Conclusion paragraph. 5
- Introduction p.1
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