It's one of the short passage from my diary, that is, freewriting. It's less detailed and organized before because I simply cut into my surprise towards the desk-chairs here in the classrooms and complaint towards the terrible chairs in China. I added more details and also my personal stories in how lefties are ignored, or not accepted in both the society and families, making a contrast from the things in the USA. And I add some details after big words like "feel being cared" and "my grandpa was unsatisfied about this".

I expanded this sentence in my newly revised paragraph to specify the "missing" emotion.

Before Professor Zimmerman reminds me, there was only one sentence: The surprising moment... That means I jumped directly to the big voice instead of earning it through small voices. So I reacalled and wrote down all the feelings I had that day. It was specific and helpful. And this is technically a new problem that I haven't had much time practicing on. But know I should pay more attention in adding details.

I was more careful in organizing before I wrote this. And I had a clearer plan on how the story should go. It's all in temporal order. And the pivotal moment my reader thought is the same as I planned: the moment I received the confirmation email.

It's from my intellectual project "Live the Life". Basically, it's about how I changed my thought regarding to academic life. In Junior and Senior high school, I was taught that everthing should give way to study, like passions. However, in college, I noticed there are many other students pursing their passions and handling academic work at the same time. They are able to have a good balance. And the conversation between me and my athlete friend made me reevaluate my previous thought. He told me how he handled the daily practices and academic work at the same time. And that urged me to seek for more extra activities. So I applied for a student athlete work which I was passion about. And they accpeted me. And at last I could finally enjoy the fulfilling life that pursing passion brings me.

This is from the one page long essay "What we Learn From the Essays". I wrote that I learnt I should pay more attention to some subtle movements, which can also convey emotions. I quoted from the writer pulling up her collar when she was with the boy by the river in the essay On the Hill Far Away.

It's from the first project "Fluffy Tag". In this essay I wrote a story about my chilhood and how this memory was recalled. I had a dream to my grandma sewing my worn pillowcase, which reminds me of her throwing away my favorite pillowcase with my special smell on its tag when years ago. But I woke up that morning holding the tag on my comforter and caught a trace of the familiar smell, and I finally found my unique smell back.

In this essay, I firmly stuck to the point talking about "emotions conveyed through subtle movements". Even though I learnt a lot of other things from this passage, I was more aware of selecting and disussing only one point further.

This paragraph is from the "Reflction of 'The Hard Crowd', reflecting what I learned as a reader after reading this passage. Apparently, the prompt was asking me to write about how I felt. Therefore, it's also a point where I started to becoming more and more comfortable writing in the first-person.

Before revising, I focused on several different points. I mentioned both "I found author's personal stories can be appealing and interesting to me" and also "I found myself difficult in reading a passage both quickly and thoroughly" This is distracting because I discussed neither of them in details. Therefore I decided to kept the second one only and disccuss more specifically in what makes me think about this. That is, I made a mistake in understanding the passage and have been confused all the time untill the mistake was pointed out by my professor.