I did this all the time as a child and I know I wasn’t the only one. When I was playing basketball and I would miss I would get so mad I would throw the ball and it would hit me in the face. I would think that the ball hated me and was only trying to make me more mad and it seemed like every time I hit the ball it would hit me back or roll away.

I can agree with this. It reminds me of what we learned in Fatherhood of having sensitive parents and having a secure attachment relationship between the parents and the child. In other words, the parents are able to satisfy the child’s needs in distress in a timely manner. In doing so, they create a trustworthy relationship between the parent and child because the child will learn that in distress he knows he can trust on his parents to be there.

I always thought about this children who use their past experiences to better who they are as people and to better the circumstances they wish to have in their life. Up to this point it absolutely makes sense of how past trauma and experiences can shape someone’s identity, behavior, and/or personality but there’s always that one person who uses it to their advantage.