- Dec 2021
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human.libretexts.org human.libretexts.org
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depend on
have hard shells
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oxygen
oxygen.
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breeze
breezes
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Earth.
the earth?
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to earth
to the earth?
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(By statistics on health impacts? Species extinction? Economic disruptions?) and how you will gauge the emotional appeal (By the popularity of past memes and documentaries and campaigns on the issue? By its connection to popular leisure activities? By how relatable it i
I am not sure if you need to capitalize each one of these. Is there a rule? Otherwise, it doesn't seem quite right to me. Lower case?
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species such as elephants and whales,
Even better.....
species (elephants and whales, for instance) become symbols of....
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such groups to focus on
to an environmental group or journalist and explain your choice.
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species such
species, such as elephants and whales,
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for humans
on humans
Annotators
URL
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which comes out
which one comes out
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across four categories:
across four categories under the umbrella of inclusiveness in the film industry:
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The
These
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or
i.e.
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as criteria
as a criteria?
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to help it decide
to help decide
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The FDA considers
They consider the results...
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will ended to see
will research how it performs...
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For example, the criteria for the quality of the
For example, criteria for special effects....
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or moral judgements based on values.
or on moral judgements based on values.
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or
Or, they may center on
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(a movie, a work of art, or a building),
don't think you need parenthesis, but there should be a period. Too much info for a three part answer in one sentence.
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and background
and her background
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praise describe
I'd choose describe
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finding
I think you can delete this. The sentence reads find without it and there are several "findings" previously.
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as
as a...
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Evaluation arguments usually need to define and justify the criteria they use to make the evaluation. These criteria may consist of moral standards, aesthetic standards, or tests of successful functioning. Depending on how controversial the criteria are, the argument may need to defend and explain why they have been chosen. How can we support our choice of criteria? We may cite precedent or the authoritative sources in the field, or we may discuss the merit of the criteria in themselves by arguing for the good results they lead to and aligning them with values we believe our audience will share.
perfect!
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Most commonly, evaluation arguments rate their subject on a scale from positive to negative.
I think this should go at the end of the paragraph.
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- Nov 2021
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How are attitudes to gender changing in today’s society?
How are attitudes, such as to the concept of gender, changing in today's society?
(I am trying here to avoid the problem of the reader thinking you are talking about attitudes towards "gender changing."
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For example, many young peopl
For example, take the term "true parental love." Many young peope believe that this phrase means the willingness to do.......However, an author might define it differently. He may say that "true parental love" is not expressed by doormat behavior. A parent who does his child's homework so the child receives all "A" grades isn't demonstrating love {note the use of negation here}. Rather, true parental love is the willingness to apply fair rules and limits on behavior in order to raise a child who is a good worker, a good friend, and a good citizen.
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Creating an original definition (stipulation)
Does stipulation mean creating an original definition? I never heard that.
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In an article about sexual predators
As another example, in an article......
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but needs are anything
but the concept of "needs" is particular to anything necessary for survival.
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through the numerous illustrations.
in this same way.
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passionate love, self-love, and even more specific ones, such as spirituality, philanthropy, humanity, nationalism/patriotism, and agapé, and each carries its own emotional tone which informs the definition.
passionate love and self love. It may have even more specific connotations when used within such fields of study as spirituality, philanthropy, humanity, nationalism, and patriotism. (I don't see agape fitting in with these, myself) Within each of these areas, "love" takes on a different emotional tone which, then, refines its definition.
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yet, such speech is exactly the challenge these students need to pull them away from their social media feeds and engage them in the vigorous mental workout that academia provides,
for your purpose, you may not need this extra complication. You could just say, "If an argument takes the position that reduced literacy rates in freshman college students makes them less apt to learn from a professor who leans toward sesquipedalian speech, the author is more likely to earn the trust of the audience if a dictionary definition is provided for this uncommon and archaic word, i.e., "sesquipedalian"--- words that are a foot and a half long (O.E.D.).
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words
that is, a word which....
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extends
influences
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new or very unusual or uncommon
new, unusual, or uncommon
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or "infamous,"
or, conversely, "infamous," a term that has decided.....
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often
delete
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Legal definitions often depend upon qualifiers, as in the case of the gun debate.
Legal definitions often depend upon qualifers, or refinements like these. Take for example the case of the gun debate.
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However, with the recognition of transgender students and their rights, the U.S. Department of Education offered a statement of clarification to the language of Title IX: “explaining that it will enforce Title IX's prohibition on discrimination on the basis of sex to include: (1) discrimination based on sexual orientation; and (2) discrimination based on gender identity” (“Title IX”). Schools, students, and parents can now point to this language in debates about who is protected by Title IX status, and who can be included in the funding of gender-specific sports teams.
With the recognition of transgender students and their rights, however, the U.S. Department of Education offered......(Pick up again right after "gender identity". Do you need to restatement "Title IX in parentheses here?
Schools, students, and parents can now point to this new language, containing a refined definition of gender bias,when they are involved in debates about who is protected by Title IX status, and who can be included or not included within the funding of gender-specific sports.
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any
one or more of
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Diabetes? Obesity? Hypertension?
Could it be diabetes? Obesity? Hypertension?
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Any diagnosis of
Could it be any diagnosis....
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Prior to that, the fetus is fully dependent for survival upon the security of the woman's womb.
not sure you need this...is implied?
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and this, generally, is possible at twenty-four weeks.
This, generally, occurs at twenty-four weeks, while the pro-life definition of life occurs immediately or soon after conception.
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those on the pro-choice side often argue
can you just say "argue" making it parallel to the statement in the previous sentence? Leave off the 'often'
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A definition argument can help avoid this kind of slippage, and it can clarify where disagreements lie. Even if it doesn't resolve the disagreements, it may at least prevent misunderstandings.
Not sure this adds anything, and is kind of general ...Can you get along without it?
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even more
delete. Not sure what is is "even more critical" of.
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Once we understand the value of definition for clarifying terms in an essay, we can start to appreciate the value of definition in shaping an argument, especially one centered around a contentious term.
very clear
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A good way to test your thesis is to try out examples to see if the criteria work to distinguish things that fit the category from things that don't. Are other things we consider unhealthy full of sugar and/or fat, low in nutrition, and made with industrial additives? Yes. Fast food hamburgers are unhealthy because they contain high levels of fat, low nutritional value, and are full of chemical preservatives.
Here you give an example of another food that fits the category of unhealthy, i.e. fast food hamburgers. But you don't give the opposite example, as you seemed to suggest you would, of something that doesn't fit the category.
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A good way to test your thesis
not sure what thesis you are referring to, or what it would sound like..
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because it meets the other two criteria, it can still be considered unhealthy.
because it meets the other two criteria, as in low in nutrition and heavy on fat and sugar....
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can put a more specific subject into a category based on criteria
this is not clear to me....what you are trying to say. What follows the quote is clear/
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of different uses
for various uses
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The dictionary.com site
Dictionary.com offers....
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can derive a definition from
can use to derive a definition
Also, I still don't get what (ethos) means or how it fits here, but maybe there is some previous reference
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Can greenhouse-grown food be organic
For instance, can greehouse.......
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it may benefit the argument
it may be beneficial to... (repetition of the word 'argument')
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questioning other terms
questioning this or other terms....
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"What do they mean by ‘artificial’?”
no quotes needed?
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The claim states
It states..(.I think you can get away with this.)
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In this case, organic is the subject of the argument. The claim goes on to base the argument on definition criteria.
In this case, organic is the subject, and the claim bases its argument on definition criteria.
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of the argument
delete? Still clear with less repetition.
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organic
doesn't this still need quotes? Seems odd to switch back and forth.
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are arguments because they
delete? Might be clearer and less repetitive.
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A research-based argument
Should this say, "A research-based 'Definition' argument" Or, simply, "A definition argument may have as its goal....
Since that is your title it seems logical, unless they have just been learning about research-based articles immediately beforehand.
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What is a definition argument?
Overall, I think the bones or underlying structure of "What is a Definition Argument," and "The Benefits of Defenition" may not be evident enough yet. But you'll get there! Of the two, the second is definitely clearer.
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And
delete
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"potential thug."
and therefore, as infamous.
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a term that has decidedly negative connotations.
delete
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from such regulations.
delete
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guns
rifles
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in debates about
when debating who is protected
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“explaining that it will enforce Title IX's prohibition on discrimination on the basis of sex to include: (1) discrimination based on sexual orientation; and (2) discrimination based on gender identity” (“Title IX”).
is this an actual quote or a paraphrase? Sounds more like a paraphrase.
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outside the womb
in the outside world. This, generally, is possible at twenty-four weeks.
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Consider how many of our friends and family members have been diagnosed with any of these conditions.
Is this relative to the argument of this paragraph?
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Even if it doesn't resolve the disagreements, it may at least prevent misunderstandings.
not sure you need this as well.
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even more
even more than what? I would just delete these two words.
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controversy revolves
there is controversy around an issue
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may have as its goal to describe the nature of something,
The goal of a definition based argument may be as simple as seeking to describe the nature of something, ....
- I keep struggling with this first sentence...your version is so elegant, but I keep stumbling on "have as its goal to describe"
Here's another version: A definition argument may have as its goal something as simple as seeking to describe the nature of something,...
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A research-based argument
use "a definition argument" here. Not clear to the unsophisticated reader that a research based argument is always a definition argument
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If we argue that the Vietnam War should not be considered a "World War" even though it involved two global superpowers, the U.S. and the Soviet Union, we will need to explain why a criterion like the number of deaths should be considered more important than the number or size of the countries involved.
For instance, the size of wars can be evaluated by how many deaths occured, but also by how many countries were involved. We could argue that the Vietnam War had too few deaths to be considered a "World War" because of the number of deaths incurred. We could reversely argue that because two global superpowers, the U.S. and the Soviet Union, were involved, in addition to Vietnam, and other smaller countries, then the Vietnam War should be considered a world war.
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will
delete
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Here we have a subject – organic ice cream – and a category – unhealthy. Presumably, unhealthy things often contain similar criteria – high levels of fat and sugar, low nutritional value, and industrial additives. Organic ice cream might not contain industrial additives, but, because it meets the other two criteria, it can still be considered unhealthy. A good way to test your thesis is to try out examples to see if the criteria work to distinguish things that fit the category from things that don't. Are other things we consider unhealthy full of sugar and/or fat, low in nutrition, and made with industrial additives? Yes. Fast food hamburgers are unhealthy because they contain high levels of fat, low nutritional value, and are full of chemical preservatives.
After you rework this paragraph, send it to be again and I'll edit for details. See next note...
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A definition argument can put a more specific subject into a category based on criteria, as in the following:
There needs to be more of a transition before you begin this sentence. You were just talking about finding the right dictionary, such as the OED, and then you gave the OED's definition of organic. In the sentence above you seem to be starting a new idea or section, having to do with putting your subject into a category. I don't get the connection to what you were talking about with the OED and the definition of "organic." Is this part about categories a whole new subtopic. If so it needs more of an introduction.
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A good way to test your thesis
What is the thesis here? That organic ice cream is unhealthy? Maybe this thesis should be stated at the onset of this section on subjects and categories.
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more specific subject
what do you mean by this? Your subject is already "organic", what more specific subject are you talking about?
Maybe you just want to say "A definition argument can put a subject, such as "organic" into a category based on specific criteria."
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differentiated definitions of different uses of the word
probably don't need differentiated and different both. Maybe just dropping differentiated would be clear and simple
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but should the writer wish to ensure trust (ethos) with the audience, the source of the dictionary definition might matter.
what does trust (ethos) mean?
but should the writer wish to ensure trust ? with the audience, the choice of dictionary might matter.
You don't seem to discuss the concept of the "source" of the definition in the following sentences
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that student authors can derive a definition from
that students can use to find a definition,
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In this case, organic is the subject of the argument.
In this case, the definition of "organic" is the subject of the argument.
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as a way to confirm that writer and the readers’
as a way to confirm that the writer's (?) and the readers'
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understanding the definition of the word “organic.”
understanding the word "organic."
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"What do they mean by ‘artificial’?”
delete quotation marks on this? It's you speaking, isn't it?
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Definition arguments
This type of argument...
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- Oct 2021
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human.libretexts.org human.libretexts.org
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or a set commas.
a set of commas
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An appositive is a word or group of words that describes or renames a noun or pronoun.
Again, for me, I need some examples right after this. I actually do not know what an appositive is.
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keep the sentence
keep the part of the sentence you want to emphasize. Or do you mean "Take a look at the two sentences you are trying to combine. Decide which one contains the information you most want to emphasize, then make sure the information in that sentence ends up in the main clause of the sentence with the relative clause.
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A relative clause is a group of words that contains a subject and a verb and describes a noun. Relative clauses function as adjectives by answering questions such as which one? or what kind? Relative clauses begin with a relative pronoun, such as who, which, where, why, or when. Read the following examples:
maybe a few examples of relative clauses early in this paragraph would make things clearer. Again I feel I am getting tangled up in technical language...I need to see one.
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As with the –ing modifier, be careful to place the word that the phrase modifies immediately after the phrase in order to avoid a dangling modifier.
Being terrible at formal grammar, I found this confusing. For me, I could use an example with the modifier and the word that the phrase modifies highlighted somehow, in their correct positions. You might also want to give an example of an incorrect "dangling" modifier.
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A relative clause is a group of words that contains a subject and a verb and describes a noun.
Again here, I could use a highlighted example.
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of be as a
of the verb "to be"
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Modifier
Have you defined this term previously? I don't know it well so I was a little iffy about the paragraph beginning "To connect two sentences using an -ing modifier, and -ing to one of the .....etc." What is a modifer anyway?
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A truck was parked in the driveway. Parked in the driveway was a truck.
"Parked in the driveway was a truck" This is a pretty awkward sentence. Perhaps not the best example of your point.
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They will also make
They will make. "Also" implies a different virtue, but actually liveliness and good rhythm are really closely related to "enjoyability" so "also" doesn't seem to fit.
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The key point is this: one of the best things you can do to revise for greater clarity is to recast a passage so that the characters are the grammatical subjects and the key actions are the verbs.
This whole section is fine .
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offer another key point
offer a key point (since this is your first sentence in the section it is not clear what the other point would have been)
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Look for bits that are redundant: (“each and every,” “unexpected surprise,” “predictions about the future”), meaningless (“very unique,” “certain factors,” “slightly terrifying”), or clichéd (“as far as the eye can see,” or “long march of time”).
I had trouble following this list of three things because of all the imbedded examples. I don't know if it is possible to underline them or to number them somehow? (i.e. redundant, meaningless, cliched)
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but everything in the
but whatever the writer includes in the final version...
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the same idea
the same thought...too close to the other "idea"
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parenthetical citation. If one
I would put a new sentence after the period above. "You must have both."
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the page numbe
the page number of the Works Cited page? If so, may be best to mention it.
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the parentheses.
in the parentheses after the quotation.
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("Abbreviated Title").
Oh I see, the parentheses contain an example of each case. So there is just a typo in (Lastname) Should be (Last name)
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(Lastname).
what is this for? I see, by the way, there were other authors on this section?
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In parentheses after the quotation or paraphrase, w
Start with "We need to include the author's name or abbreviated title and the page number.....
After that sentence give instructions on where to put the information. "This information is placed in parentheses after the quotation or paraphrase."
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We need to help readers
Our goal in this is to help readers.... differentiate....etc.
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in
on?
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After the header, the next double-spaced line should include the title of your paper.
From looking at the example, it seems to me that the title is after th bullets immediately above "The Title," not after the header. The header is first, then the bullets, then the title...no?
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words or phrases you
words or phrases to which you want to lend...
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The simplest way to get the format right is to use a template. You can download this MLA format essay template and open it in any word processing program. (You can also make a copy of the Google Docs template rather than downloading.) Then just replace the text with your own name, title, and essay. A slightly different way is to create a new document in Google Docs, Pages, or Microsoft Word and use the built-in template for MLA essays. You'll want to choose the option to create a new document from a template and then search the template gallery for "MLA," which may be categorized under "Education."
Very clear
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larger
larger than what? maybe you mean a particular academic conversation? Then below you say "we signal to readers that we are part of the larger conversation" This seems repetitive and vague...what is another word for what you mean by conversation here...
What if you said "we signal to readers that we are part of an academic exchange and aware of its customs.
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one larger
a specific academic conversation
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research. You can look them up directly.
research, and you can look them up directly.
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the other
previous
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That immediately tells you which ones are on the same topic and offer newer findings.
That will immediately tell you that the new article is on the same topic and may offer more recent findings.
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you can use article databases to find newer articles that cited it in their own literature reviews.
look for newer articles that cited it in their own literature reviews.
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and they found the analysis to be well constructed. Thus, you can accept the findings as legitimate and just focus on the passages that explain the findings and their significance in plainer language.
and if they found the analysis to be well constructed, you can accept the findings as legitimate and focus on the passages that explain these findings and their significance in plainer language.
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tells you what you should be reading for in each section.
helps you find what you need to know. Some sections of the article may not be critical.
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You shouldn’t ever have the experience of reading the whole paper just to discover it’s not useful.
You don't want to waste time reading a whole paper just to discover that it is not useful at all.
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in order to quickly find the highest quality sources.
I'm not sure you need this.
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editors often try to get reviews
this time, in addition to one or two of the original readers, a new reviewer will be used as well.
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to authors
to the author
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the editor will reject it outright. If it looks appropriate and sufficiently high quality, the editor will recruit a few other experts in the field to act as anonymous peer reviewers. The editor
anyway not to use editor four times in these lines?
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in the field
delete
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and sufficiently high quality,
and of sufficiently high quality
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The editor reads over the manuscript
The editor reads it over and...
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article manuscript
maybe just "article"...
article manuscript is a bit awkward
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Not all papers are so “sciencey.”
love this!
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Abstract: A one-paragraph summary of the article: its purpose, methods, findings, and significance. Introduction: An overview of the key question or problem that the paper addresses, why it is important, and the key conclusion(s) (i.e., thesis or theses) of the paper. Literature review: A synthesis of all the relevant prior research (the so-called “academic literature” on the subject) that explains why the paper makes an original and important contribution to the body of knowledge. Data and methods: An explanation of what data or information the author(s) used and what they did with it. Results: A full explanation of the key findings of the study. Conclusion/discussion: Puts the key findings or insights from the paper into their broader context; explains why they matter.
Before you begin this list, you need an introductory sentence, such as "Here is some of the vocabulary you will need (you may encounter?) when reading academic papers."
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Thus, in a lot of fields they
These papers (or articles?) often have a structure.....
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they’ve done in their research, what they’ve found, and why they think it’s important.
about what they've learned from their research and why they think it is important.
"done" doesn't quite work here.
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the high esteem they have in the eyes of your professors.
the high esteem in which they are held by your professors
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Their origin
Do you mean by "origin" that they come from an academic journal, or that they originate at a university by one of its professors? Unclear which.
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Types of Sources
Very interesting and well-written chapter.
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(fabric, textiles, or weaving).
is it correct to use a colon here?
and some generalizations for linen: fabric, textiles, weaving.
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instead of “ancient world” (antiquity,
instead of just "ancient world", such as...antiquity, the Egyptian empire, ancient Mediterranean trade.
Though really, I don't see how "antiquity is any better than "ancient world". You could say" linen production in antiquity" Maybe just "early linen production"
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Similarly, you found
In this way, you have found
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critically
seems a little strong for unreliable sources. Delete?
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keywords to search on
keywords to search with
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These
Tier 3 sources
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providing the information
providing the information given on the site
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couple paragraphs
couple of paragraphs
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or credible
or on credible websites
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Tier 2:
Excellent section overall
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state of the world,
I still don't get how this phrase fits in here.
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presses that cite their sources;
actually this is fine. Ignore below
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cite their sources
include citations?
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magazines like The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The London Times, or The Economist are based
Keep your pattern going. Economist; these are based on.....
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There are three main categories.
categories in this tier.
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Thus, Tier 2 sources
Most important, however, is that Tier 2 sources can provide...etc.
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I describe this process below.
what process? the process of publishing in an academic journal?
The line "Your professors." is very powerful. Not sure the best way to segue however.
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Learning how to read and use these sources is a fundamental part of being a college student.
these types of sources...
But also, how to transition. Maybe after "Your professors." you could say. Yes indeed, that is an important part of their job. Your job is to learn how to read and use these types of resources....etc. Is that too hokey? You can probably do better, but you do need some kind of transition. Also, maybe you don't have to put "I describe this process below", since they will certainly find out soon. Doesn't seem to fit here. You could say, " More information on the process of publishing in academic journals will follow."
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scholars
experts? You use scholar several times previously
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by some academic
by an academic society
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with scholars
had a little trouble with "with scholars in the field" on first glance. Do you mean "other scholars in the field" not including the authors of the article. or maybe just "interested scholars in the field"
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different people.
a different person.
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state of the world
do you mean "of an issue?" What do you mean. Seems very general.
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sources to use?
sources to use instead?
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were tied directly
are tied directly
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As you can see,
Does this imply they should have "seen it" in the sample essay above? If so, maybe you should make the connection more concrete, more obvious for the student. It wasn't easy for me to see if the essay actually demonstrates this idea of quoting or paraphrasing sources that you don't agree with.
Otherwise last two paragraphs were great: crisp and clear.
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were
are? to match "are summarized approvingly"
I am looking at "were portrayed as accurately" and suggesting "are" instead of "were"
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Combine research findings from multiple sources to make a larger summary argument. You might find that none of the sources you’re working with specifically claim that early 20th-century British literature was preoccupied with changing gender roles but that, together, their findings all point to that broader conclusion. Combine research findings from multiple sources to make a claim about their implications. You might review papers that explore various factors shaping voting behavior to argue that a particular voting-reform proposal will likely have positive impacts. Identify underlying areas of agreement. You may argue that the literature on cancer and the literature on violence both describe the unrecognized importance of prevention and early intervention. This similarity will support your claim that insights about one set of problems may be useful for the other. Identify underlying areas of disagreement. You may find that the controversies surrounding educational reform—and its debates about accountability, curricula, school funding—ultimately stem from different assumptions about the role of schools in society. Identify unanswered questions. Perhaps you review studies of the genetic and behavioral contributors to diabetes in order to highlight unknown factors and argue for more in-depth research on the role of the environment.
very excellent section
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your own original point.
or maybe "your own thesis" without "original"
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similarity and difference between them
; what is similar and what is different between them?
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what each one says,
each source?
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Describing this conversation can be the springboard for your own original point.
Love this...but maybe use "thesis" instead of just point. Seems too small.
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each one says,
each one what?
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similarity and difference between them.
don't understand what you are trying to say here.
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someone else’s
another person's concept
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but limits,
but also limits,
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who is saying what about our topic?
love this
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but the conversation itself
"but the discussion itself" is what I meant above.
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conversation
would "discussion" work? You use "conversation" 3 times in the sentence.
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research.
research itself.
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a sense
a general sense
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research.
research itself.
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challenging or potentially arguable
Are these equivalent? Maybe say, "Will challenge you but also be potentially arguable."
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If we already have a guess as to what our answer is likely to be, we may want to articulate that as well in what is sometimes called a working thesis. We can come up with a hypothesis that we will test against the information you find in sources as we research. Keep in mind, we may want to modify the question and the hypothesis as we learn more.
Excellent. But I find it confusing that you alternate "you" and "we" in the same sentence. Is it possible to alternate between different sentences instead?
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If you are finding it hard to be specific about a topic, we can take a break from defining it and keep researching and brainstorming.
If you are finding it hard to find increasingly specific subtopics, you can research a little further and keep brainstorming.
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However, as
just start with "As"
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they
it
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Say
? We?
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the
solar
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As we research solar energy
As we begin our research (solar energy is implied)
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which we are interested in
which areas we are most interested in
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If we read
If we can find an overview....
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