Jonathan Harker’s Journal
Jonathan my good friend Jonathan Harker
Jonathan Harker’s Journal
Jonathan my good friend Jonathan Harker
He had arranged before leaving London that his agent should send him every day a telegram saying if the ship had been reported. He was to have a message even if she were not reported, so that he might be sure that there was a watch being kept at the other end of the wire.
October 15: POV You are a dock worker in Varna.
“I can hear the waves lapping against the ship, and the water rushing by. Canvas and cordage strain and masts and yards creak. The wind is high—I can hear it in the shrouds, and the bow throws back the foam.”
THE END
I finished “Dracula”, and this is actually the plot.
“It was an idiotic thing of me to do, and I ask your pardon, Mrs. Harker, most sincerely; I fear I must have frightened you terribly. But the fact is that whilst the Professor was talking there came a big bat and sat on the window-sill. I have got such a horror of the damned brutes from recent events that I cannot stand them, and I went out to have a shot, as I have been doing of late of evenings, whenever I have seen one. You used to laugh at me for it then, Art.”
Quincey: shoot first and ask questions later
that I am the train fiend
God help him, they took the train
His bidding as that other through stripes and shame; through tears and blood; through doubts and fears, and all that makes the difference between God and man
Mina: “Unclean! Unclean! Even the Almighty rejects me! I am bound for Hell!”
Jonathan: “Mina, sweetie. Tell me what I need to pack.”
Mina: so confused she stops crying “What?”
Jonathan: “I’m going with you.”
Van Helsing: “NO ONE IS GOING TO HELL!”
“I can be of some use here,”
Arthur today
Blood is too precious a thing in these days of dishonourable peace; and the glories of the great races are as a tale that is told.
jonathan harker hiding his flip phone under the table, frantically typing in order to text us word for word dracula’s insane speeches
“Sorry! I fear I have alarmed you. I shall come in and tell you about it.” A minute later he came in and said:— “It was an idiotic thing of me to do, and I ask your pardon, Mrs. Harker, most sincerely; I fear I must have frightened you terribly. But the fact is that whilst the Professor was talking there came a big bat and sat on the window-sill. I have got such a horror of the damned brutes from recent events that I cannot stand them, and I went out to have a shot, as I have been doing of late of evenings, whenever I have seen one. You used to laugh at me for it then, Art.”
i love quincey’s brain. like his thought process is so great it’s just:
i once saw a bat drink so much blood from a horse that the horse nearly died -> the woman i love is losing massive amounts of blood everytime there’s a bat outside her window -> i now shoot bats on sight
like forget “doing the math wrong but reaching the right conclusion” motherfucker barely did math At All but he got the answer Perfectly
I have sown my corn, and Nature has her work to do in making it sprout; if he sprout at all, there’s some promise; and I wait till the ear begins to swell
Van Helsing, trying desperately not to get put in a straitjacket: don't tell anyone about this. in fact I'm not even going to tell you. just make sure you don't go to sleep. the garlic is medicine okay and it stays. you wouldn't dig up a corn, would you? CORN, Jack. guys she ran out of blood we need your blood don't ask why. I'm off to Amsterdam don't die.
Quincey Morris, showing up a week late with Starbucks: hmmm sounds like vampires to me
One of those big bats that they call vampires had got at her in the night, and what with his gorge and the vein left open, there wasn’t enough blood in her to let her stand up, and I had to put a bullet through her as she lay.
I’m loving Lucy getting blood transfusions from each of her three suitors from a narrative construction perspective but I’m obsessed with Quincey going ‘wow the last time I saw blood loss this bad was when my horse got eaten by a vampire’ and absolutely no one follows up on that.
This was odd, but only confirmed what I had all along thought—that there were no servants in the house
Pictured: Dracula 10 minutes before leaving to pick up Jonathan
Mother cried out in a fright, and struggled up into a sitting posture, and clutched wildly at anything that would help her. Amongst other things, she clutched the wreath of flowers that Dr. Van Helsing insisted on my wearing round my neck, and tore it away from me.
Dracula: Hm, that human mother is being super annoying about her dead kid at the gate. How do I fix that? Wolves? I’ll say wolves.
Dracula: What’s that? My good friend Jonathan Harker wants to leave ahead of schedule? Think I’ll do some wolves about that.
Dracula: Damn, seems that old Dutchman has blocked off one (1) single window with garlic blossoms and now this one (1) specific girl in all of England is barred from me. Maybe I should use my title and/or some invented pretense to cajole the girl’s mother into letting me in. Or maybe I could just move on to a different victim out of the nigh endless blood buffet I specifically moved here to enjoy, none of whom have a small legion of blood donors and vampire-proofing scholars on their side.
Dracula: Dracula, about to slam dunk a wolf through the window: Or,
Oh, about number Three—I needn’t tell you of number Three, need I? Besides, it was all so confused; it seemed only a moment from his coming into the room till both his arms were round me, and he was kissing me. I am very, very happy, and I don’t know what I have done to deserve it. I must only try in the future to show that I am not ungrateful to God for all His goodness to me in sending to me such a lover, such a husband, and such a friend.
anyone else getting the feeling that bram stoker wants to be proposed to by a kind man
Quincey Morris
dracula is set in the late 1800s right? levis did their jeans patent thing in 1873... quincy is from texas... a western type area i think... people from western type areas at that time wore jeans... quincey in jeans???
The case of Renfield grows even more interesting
The greatest sources of horror in Dracula so far
5 Watching a friend fade away from a mysterious illness.
4 Being trapped with a predator who's toying with you like a cat with a mouse.
3 Your colleagues dying around you, one by one.
2 A ship sailing into Whitby harbour, steered only by a corpse.
1 The Victorian psychiatric system.
If I don’t sleep at once, chloral, the modern Morpheus—C2HCl3O. H2O! I must be careful not to let it grow into a habit
Dr Seward reminds me of an old family friend that once showed us how he could hold his breath long enough to pass out and told us how he did that to fall asleep sometimes original post
My journey is all mapped out, and my luggage ready.
Lucy is asleep and breathing softly. She has more colour in her cheeks than usual, and looks, oh, so sweet. If Mr. Holmwood fell in love with her seeing her only in the drawing-room, I wonder what he would say if he saw her now.
“Lucy is asleep and breathing softly. She has more colour in her cheeks than usual, and looks, oh, so sweet. If Mr. Holmwood fell in love with her seeing her only in the drawing-room, I wonder what he would say if he saw her now.”
Girl that’s a little LGBT ngl
God help me! How am I to account for all these horrors when I get to port? When I get to port! Will that ever be
The sad part of the poor captain’s determination to make it to England is that, in a way, it would be better if he didn’t. Because he’s bringing a vampire to a place with a lot more prey than one ship can provide.
And he doesn’t know that! He has no idea what’s killing his men, or that it would be a bad idea to let it get on shore. The captain is doing his very best to be brave and honorable in a terrifying situation, and that’s part of why it’s so tragic.
Anyway, in an AU version of this story, this would be Dracula:
Four days in hell, knocking about in a sort of maelstrom, and the wind a tempest
She is steered mighty strangely, for she doesn’t mind the hand on the wheel;
Mina: Oh, hello Mr. Swales.
Old Man: Listen, Mina, I'm sorry I upset you by talking about death before. It's just that death comes for us all, we can't escape it, we are all doomed forever, and I'm probably going to die right in front of you right now
Mina: -now openly weeping-
Old Man: no no no listen see it's fine, because everyone on earth could die at any second, really, even young lawyers who have fiancees waiting at home who really love them, so don't be upset
Old Man: because Death is always coming towards us on the horizon, like that ship over there in the storm
Dracula, presumably steering the Demeter: I DON'T KNOW HOW BOATS WORK
The last glimpse I had was of the bloated face, blood-stained and fixed with a grin of malice which would have held its own in the nethermost hell.
"I came down to have a good nap and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now"
-Count Dracula, June 30th
Come
SCREECHING at the idea that Jonathan might have left sooner had he actually asked the Count if he could go????? Did he actually ask before now???? Did Blorbo actually cling to a crumbling castle wall and risk life and limb, write fake letters and despair for weeks but NOT ACTUALLY ASK TO LEAVE???? original post
As the door began to open, the howling of the wolves without grew louder and angrier; their red jaws, with champing teeth, and their blunt-clawed feet as they leaped, came in through the opening door
24 May
original post Imagine if you will a complete inversion of a boorish American on St. Patrick’s Day. Imagine an Irishman who aggressively celebrates the Fourth of July with unabashed gusto, who desperately tries to claim the significance of some alleged 1/32 American heritage, who wears a shirt with an eagle turning into an American flag and who drinks a specialty red, white, and blue novelty beverage until he collapses in a pool of tricolor vomit. Imagine some guy so invested in a superficial, touristy version of Americaness that he will nervously call the side with his $20 “authentic” hamburger “freedom fries” out of fear of offending. Imagine a guy who upon meeting any American will try to strike up a friendly conversation by asking them what their favorite gun is and talking about how personally inspiring he finds Abraham Lincoln.
You must understand, as you prepare to read the May 24th entry of this novel, that this Irishman is Bram Stoker.
Kept in phonograph)
Look at this phonograph
original post
and in the aperture of the broken panes there was the head of a great, gaunt grey wolf
Dracula was so stupid angry that he couldn't drink Lucy that he * tried to summon wolves * but no wolves appeared * so he stomped all over London * finally found a zoo * summoned one (1) wolf * lured it all the way back to Lucy's house * and rocket launched it through her window
Yes, I too can love
I know we all joked that Jonathan is the only character who doesn’t realize he’s in Dracula but I’m starting to get the impression that Count “I too can love” Dracula thinks he’s in Beauty and the Beast original post
Mr. Quincey P. Morris
jonathan: I'm trapped in a horror beyond my comprehension. I'll be dead in a month. I live in constant terror.
lucy: I got proposed to by a cowboy!!!
awful women, who were—who are—waiting to suck my blood.
THREE
Lucy and Dracula should battle using their three weed smoking partners like pokemon original post
These may be the last words I ever write in this diary.
Within, stood a tall old man, clean shaven save for a long white moustache, and clad in black from head to foot, without a single speck of colour about him anywhere. He held in his hand an antique silver lamp, in which the flame burned without chimney or globe of any kind, throwing long quivering shadows as it flickered in the draught of the open door.
It is a foul bauble of man’s vanity. Away with it!
He did not come at once into the library, so I went cautiously to my own room and found him making the bed
ring.
Wait so they sealed Jonathan’s diary…y’all Mina isn’t getting the paprika recipe 😭 original post
that he will allow others to see me, as they think, so that he may both leave evidence that I have been seen in the towns or villages posting my own letters, and that any wickedness which he may do shall by the local people be attributed to me
Count Dracula: As you can see, I, Jonathan Harker, have grown a very impressive moustache whilst I was in the care of the Count. original post
and in my garb, too
courtly bow, he quickly left me
now that i think about it, jonathan harker would’ve been a great character in frankenstein. he’s so completely oblivious to dracula’s red flag parade that he’d probably completely avert the creature’s murderous rampage by accidentally befriending him after spending a page and a half writing about some weirdly tall homeless guy with daddy issues he ran into original post
L.
When we started, the crowd round the inn door, which had by this time swelled to a considerable size, all made the sign of the cross and pointed two fingers towards me.
queer dreams
thirsty
lizard fashion
lizard fashion
lizard fashion
it may have been the paprika,
(Mem., get recipe for Mina.)
a publicly shared family recipe for the dish, specifically in reference to the text
He moved downwards in a sidelong way, some hundred feet down, and a good deal to the left.
so when Spider-man crawls up and down walls like a bug people praise him and call him a superhero, but when I, Count Dracula,
The castle is a veritable prison, and I am a prisoner!
https://at.tumblr.com/grumfield/had-no-idea-dracula-daily-was-a-thing-and-just/nf1xy9fms5ox
unreadable
In the context of today, the idea of a work being 'unplayable' is almost absurd. With fan content alone, no text can exist in a non-interactive capacity. We have the internet.
no new break has occurred since, and we might say that for the last hundred years we have been involved in a repetition
I would counter that with the idea that as we've become more interconnected and accountable for the work of our peers (largely due to technology), disruptive changes in any field of study, be it the sciences or humanities, are harder to make. But this doesn't necessarily result in repetition. I view it more as incremental progress made with sturdier foundations. But it can feel like being stuck in an iterative swamp where forward progress is slowed to a crawl. I think this countered, however, by the more open dialogue allowed by things like annotation tools, but I digress.