I added this experience into this revision because I felt it was the best way to convey how Wallace's essay influenced me. Even months after reading his essay, I still thought about his description of the lobsters the second I saw the lobster roll on the menu. Including this experience that I just recently had over Easter break was the perfect way to prove that his essay was effective. Then, in the sentences following, I was able to explain why his essay was so effective by including specific words and phrases that resonated with me.

I obviously had to omit and add quite a bit in this revision, since a lot had changed regarding my eating habits since first writing this reflection. In my first piece, I had a couple of sentences explaining why I was vegetarian. But, I omitted these sentences, since they were not as applicable or central to the new point I was making. I was able to reach a new conclusion in this piece, as I finally realized that I don't have to have all the answers. So, I decided to add that at this moment in my life, it is okay to eat salmon, even if I am not completely comfortable with it.

For my Revised Shorter Piece, I decided to work on my one-pager that was in response to David Foster Wallace's "Consider the Lobster." I chose to work on this one-pager further for a couple of reasons. When I first wrote the one-pager, I was writing about my contemplation over if I was going to start eating seafood again. My one-pager mostly discussed that although I really enjoy lobster rolls, reading David Foster Wallace's thoughts on their pain deterred me from eating them or other forms of seafood again. However, I very recently decided to eat salmon, a decision I finally made after months of deliberation. I knew I had to revise this piece, because Wallace presented such a thought-provoking questions in terms of why we even eat lobster, even after visibly seeing and hearing them go through torture, that it was his essay that kept me from ordering a lobster roll on Easter.

Compared to my first conclusion, this conclusion is definitely better in that it provokes new thought and explains a little more into why I treasure the upper stairs so much. My first draft introduced too many new topics, such as how their physical structure complements their purpose. I tried to incorporate these ideas earlier on instead of in the conclusion in this final version of the paper. However, upon further reflection, I wish I had concluded this essay in a better way. Annotating my own piece allowed me to be more critical and observant of my work in terms of how I presented my ideas. Through annotating this piece, I tried to read it objectively, keeping in mind that other readers didn't have the prior knowledge that I obviously did while writing it. This piece, I feel, was incomplete in its evaluation and analysis of the stairs and why they are so important to me. The conclusion would have been a good place for me to wrap up my thoughts more effectively, but I seemed to make statements that were instead too broad.

I introduce the concept of the two vantage points in the beginning of this paragraph, something that I did not explicitly relay in my first draft. I wanted the reader to appreciate that there was both a figurative and literal meaning behind the stairs for me. Relating the physical aspect of the high and low parts of the stairs tied in with my changing thoughts as I descended, arriving closer to BC with each step. Through this passage, I also wanted to express my appreciation for my new life and family here, although it may seem routine and uneventful at places like the stairs. My first draft approached this intention by going off on a tangent about how I enjoy sitting at Mac with my friends, even if we are not doing anything particularly exciting. However, this approach did not relate enough to the stairs themselves, so I omitted the paragraph about Mac and instead talk more in detail about my walk down. Through these details, I am able to relay what it is about my many mornings on the stairs that gives me the familiarity and feeling of home each morning as I look out onto the city. In my first draft, I merely state that there are other people on the stairs as I walk to my 9 am. In my final, however, I included the "budum budum of Ginger Baker's 'Sunshine of Your Love'" because I wanted the onomatopoeia to allow the reader to experience exactly what I hear as I am going down the stairs. The specificity of the song allows me to convey the melodic pattern I hear when I listen to other people's footsteps on my way down while giving the description of my mornings on the stairs a unique character.

From the moment I decided I was going to write about the Upper Stairs for my Meditation on Place, I knew I was going to discuss the view of Boston I see every morning from the top of the stairs. In my first draft, however, I was not satisfied with what I made of the view; it didn't serve much of a purpose in the first draft. After many mornings walking down the Upper Stairs and looking out onto the buildings, I realized that the reason I appreciated the view so much was because it make me think of my home in New York City and each of my individual family members. As a writer this year, especially while revising this piece, I have learned that the most effective way to write is to allow myself to include the personal aspects to my argument and to my writing. In the first draft, I seemed to be a bit too nervous to discuss my family and how I thought about them. However, in the revision, I mention each individual member of my immediate family and how I think about what they are doing each morning--because I do think about them, every day. By including this personal component, I at once am able to convey what makes me as a person unique and what makes the stairs unique. My relationship with my family is extraordinarily strong, which is why the stairs are so special to me; they give me the space and time to think about my family as I start my day. Had I not included this small part in my introduction, my whole meditation on the stairs would be incomplete, because above all, the time the stairs give me to talk to and think about my family is the biggest reason they are so important and sacred to me.

By discussing how I feel on the stairs later in the day, I was able to show the reader the other side of the stairs. I tried to set the tone for this paragraph by alluding to "classes being let out" and the setting sun. In comparison to the morning, when everyone is off to class, the evening has a slower-paced feel. This feeling coincides with my mood on the stairs at this time, which I tied in with my struggle to walk upstairs. I also wanted to express to the reader how familiar I have become with the stairs through the use of vivid detail. In the first draft, however, this detail seemed to be out of place and did not serve much of a purpose. So, in my revision, I attempted to use the detail while also explaining to the reader that sometimes, the stairs are a place of physical and mental hardship. I use the imagery of the weight of my backpack and me counting the steps to show the other, more objectively negative aspects of the stairs.

I also use this image to convey to the reader that engaging in this physical struggle is especially difficult when I am alone. In my first draft, I stated this difficulty briefly, but I did not go on to explain how I work to combat this loneliness. So, I made sure in this draft to tie back my feeling of loneliness I feel when I am climbing upwards to the thoughts of my family I had in the morning when I was walking down. In my first draft, I did not specifically mention my brother JohnJohn. However, after reflecting on why I think of my family so often, I realized that not mentioning JohnJohn would make this reflection incomplete. JohnJohn makes my family dynamic and my relationship with my family extremely unique. If it weren't for him, I would not be as inclined to think about them or call home as often as I do. So, I decided to include my call home with him at this point, using specific details of the background noise I hear when I am on the phone to allow the readers to feel as though they, too, are on the call. By using these details, I also was able to reinforce my point that the stairs give me the ability to quickly lose myself--in this case, in my conversation with JohnJohn. I then state how I exchange a "half-smile" with a couple as they pass me, which ties back into one of my previous statements that while the stairs do give me the space and time to lose myself, their communal nature brings me back to BC.

I then go on to discuss how I appreciate the "unvoiced coexistence" of my mornings here at school. In my first draft, I again only briefly mention the other people's silence in the morning as we are all on our way to class. But, after reflecting on what sharing these mornings with these people means to me, I realized that sharing a morning with the same people here reminds me a lot of sharing my mornings over breakfast with my family at home. So, I decided to make this connection in this paragraph after telling the reader about the cinnamon muffin I have every morning. I think this passage is very important to my piece as a whole because it gives another reason as to why the stairs are a place worth writing about. I am making the point that one does not have to be constantly talking to people are actively engaging in exciting activities to feel as though he or she is part of a community. By explaining that although I do not "personally know" most of the people I see each morning, but still enjoy and appreciate their presence as I am walking down the stairs, I give the reader more insight into why the stairs are so notable to me. At the end of the passage, I discuss how as I transition from the top of the stairs to the bottom, I "leave the thoughts of my family for a short while, only to be graced by my new family." This statement again was something that was in the back of my mind while writing my first draft, but never explicitly put forth. I included it to show the reader that the stairs act as a physical symbol and place that allows me to fully immerse myself into life here at BC.