Check your conclusion: Does the last paragraph tie the paper together smoothly and end on a stimulating note, or does the paper just die a slow, redundant, lame, or abrupt death?
My paper just ended like someone was walking and fell off of a cliff. I need to revise in depth!
wait nine years, but that’s a bit much. A day—a few hours even—will work
This is an important step. Not nine years, but enough time to where you can get a new perspective on your topic.
proofreading.
I didn't realize the difference until a while ago. Revising should come first, as it gives you a new perspective.
Revision literally means to “see again,” to look at something from a fresh, critical perspective. It is an ongoing process of rethinking the paper:
I also see that after i finish a draft, I know it isn't my last work. However, when I go back to revise, I end up changing a lot as well.
"And that is why I hold on to the idea of flexibility so tightly"
Again, the moral of the story is stated in the last paragraph, separate from everything else.
"The only credit card she hadn't maxed out was the Chevron card and the station on Eagle Rock Boulevard has a pretty big mart attached to it."
Maybe they are at a loss of money. They need groceries. Maybe they will find that they have enough money.
"I believe that inner strength emerges when times are desperate"
Notice how the topic or point of the story is the ending couple sentences. I like how the storyline was told, and then the moral of the story.
"Shed stay up and comfort him, even though she had to work early the next morning"
This shows the amount of love the stepmother had for the father.
"my father died of ALS"
I'm noticing how these stories are beginning with anecdotes, to make us notice the topic and think about it in another way than if it was just an essay without one.
"So I do believe in permanent change; just not for my hair."
Notice how in the first sentence she says she believes in semi-permanent hair dye. At the ending she realizes what her mom meant by "The hair color you're born with is the one that looks the best on you."
"Nothing made sense because I'm dyslexic."
This really stuck out. I'm not sure why, but it brought the story together. This could have been missing information, and it would not have made sense otherwise.
. The companies will provide a "nudge" to consider that information when making a choice.
I already see an improvement on this point of view, they get to the point and tell them what is going to happen!
While the beverage companies have branched into some of these areas, they are not eager to see the drop in traditional sodas continue. For that reason, their latest anti-obesity campaign doesn't have much fizz.
Take a look at the first sentence and then the last 2. There is not a correlation between the two.
Diet drinks are a plus for beverage makers because some consumers drink more than they would sugary soft drinks, assuming that it won't affect their waistlines.
Even though some sodas have low calories even 0 calories, there is a substance in the diet soda that causes migraines (which i often get).
Americans have been trending toward bottled water and other non-sugary drinks for reasons of health and taste over the past decade
I definitely don't see this, as there is still a whole aisle dedicated to ONLY SODA in stores.
n a society where 35% of adults are obese (up from the low teens 50 years ago) it's important that public and private groups do something.
This just seems like informational text, I'm not seeing an argument yet, especially with all of the statistics.
American Beverage Association wants to cut calorie intake from beverages by 20% by 2025.
Seems like a big step to take in only a few years...
She waved away the spoon when I brought it toward her and, holding up the piece of clear trash, she said, “Isn’t this a cute thing?” then continued to look at it for a long time.
This could be Alzheimer's, nowhere in a place to be pitied.
"a thwarted shadow" loaded word, shows that the absence of Hugh really meant something.
carrying them still on his final day when pain a thousand times fiercer than arthritis gripped his heart.
(C) The father feels that the buckeyes were a source of relief, that he would not have to die painfully.
My father never paid much heed to pain. Near the end, when his worn knee often slipped out of joint, he would pound it back in place with a rubber mallet.
(S) This shows that the father did not want his children too see pain as something to get them down. Almost shows empowerment.
They lie side by side in my lap, their palms turned up as if to catch this fleeing moment as it falls away. But as I peer down into them they begin to move on their own, to turn and shift. I watch the left hand slowly rise to place its palm against my heart. and watch the right rise swiftly to enfold the other.
He still feels that his dad is watching over him, and feels emotionally connected.
brocade
(L) An expensive fabric that has intricate designs.
ostdepartmen
(S) This shows that the narrator wishes for the better times that their great-grandfather had, when times were simpler.
flamboyantelixir
(P/Inference) I'm assuming with the amount of detail that this was possibly a secret for a while.
Hesoldpillsandrubbingalcoholfrombehindthebigcashregisteranddreamyicecreamfromthesodafountain.
(C) This really sets the mood for a early to mid 1900's scene.
here were none which survived from the 12th, 13th, 14th centuries. So we really - yes, we're working on paintings and recreating them
(C) Recreating instruments like these must be tricky, especially since there are none that survived.
medieval fiddle
http://www.asierdebenito.com/uploads/7/5/0/2/7502672/_2433246_orig.jpg
string quartet
(S) Made up of 2 violins, a viola, and a cello.
switched you from violin to viola.
(C) Many people start on violin because of its size, which is smaller than a viola, and then grow into the new instrument.
appeared and then disappeared in musical history.
(A) Why was it thrown in and out of music?
viola d'amore.
(S) A viola with 7 strings meaning viola with love.
Coca-Cola
(C) Very true. We wrap our heads around a provenance like a Strad, which is what makes us love the instruments.
There was no evidence that the players could tell old violins from new violins.
(C) Wow! I did not expect that at all!
trying to compare a Ford and a Ferrari in a Wal-Mart parking lot."
(A) Why would they have them test out in a hotel room?
ery stressful and very painful in some ways.
(S) This shows the effect of music on musicians and even non-musicians. It is very powerful!
It's nice to know you like the thing that's less expensive, don't you think? I feel like I always like the more expensive thing and...
(C) I actually had this happen to me when i went to choose out a new instrument. I liked the $5000 instead of the $15,000 instrument, which really surprised me.
I was actually playing, you know, the opposite of what I thought I was playing.
Very interesting to hear this, especially from professional musicians.
couldn't smell things.
(S) Although it sounds unusual, the smell of violins change as they age.
the history and the story, and how much is the actual sound?
(C) I feel like these are the perfect questions to ask with a Strad.
right wand for them.
(C) "Just like a wand chooses a wizard, a viola chooses the violist" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ewxApY3uO4
The price - $3 million.
Although barely comparable with the Strad viola earlier, 3 million dollars is still extremely costly. That's a house, car, etc completely paid off.
another violin player
(C) Woah. I didn't expect that.
Guarnerius,
I had actually not heard of a Guarnerius, considering i play viola and not violin.
nefarious behavior.
(L) Nefarious means wicked/criminal.
Stradivariuses. Actually, I think the plural is Stradivarii (ph).
(A) What is the plural of this? Is there even a plural?
he wanted a Stradivarius. He called it his dream theft.
(P) I think this is key to the investigation. Strad instruments are extremely rare and should be with the musician at all times to avoid cases like this.
very valuable, but very valuable to a very small population.
(A) Interesting... I wonder why Flynn stated this.
Milwaukee.
(S) Many musicians associate Milwaukee with the burglary of a rare Strad.
This American Life
(C) How funny is that?!
how much is in our heads?
(A) I wonder what he means by this. Does he mean that we think that the brand name is just there for show?
SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC
(S) Keep in mind that 300 years ago was Late baroque- early Classical period. The instruments were never made from a template, more of a free form (especially the bows).
$45 million.
(L) A professional viola outfit can cost anywhere from $5,000-$30,000+. This is a very rare instrument, indeed.
silvery quality to the upper register.
(C) This is what many instrument makers have tried to accomplish in their works.
SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC
(C) JS Bach's Cello Suite No. 3 "Prelude" transcribed for viola.
Stradivarius,
(S) A stradivarius (Strad) is the commonly known instrument to be aged and quite expensive.
most expensive instrument ever sold
(C) I believe this is the $45 million viola that David Carpenter played. This video went viral and is just breathtaking.
couldn’t exclude churches
(P) I think that this won't end in flames, however will still cause people to be upset, from whichever outcome.
When the government establishes a neutral program for public benefit, it can’t exclude citizens or institutions from participating in that program simply because they’re religious.
(C) My old public school district had this rule in place, and people always came to the school for presentations. Not showing religion entirely, but rather their culture which included religion.
apoplectic.
(L) This means overcoming with anger. Very angry.
legal earthquake
(S) There was a court ruling for Missouri to have churches to help rebuild and refurbish playgrounds from recycled tires. They did win 7-2, but if they lost, it would have gone to pieces.
They want more state, less church.
(A) Isn't that the point of separation of church and state? I thought that they were to be separated, but maybe it got to the point where more and more people kept including religion.
John Scopes incriminated himself for teaching evolution in a classroom
(A) Why did he do this to himself? Was it to show people that it didn't matter, or to prove that people were too self involved in this?
The trial was intended to generate publicity
(P) Maybe John Scopes intended to show that it shouldn't be so much of an argument, and people should just agree on their own terms.
incriminated
(L) I didn't know what incriminated mean, so I looked it up. It means to blame as a criminal. This is also similar to This American Life when a schoolteacher was beat down because of teaching evolution.
it was suggesting that God didn't even create all animals and plants.
(S) Geologic advances allowed ideas for evolution in the 17 and 1800's.
Did modern life on Earth evolve over millions of years, or was it created in the blink of an eye by God?
(C) I never understood why there was so much conflict on this topic. I feel like creationism should be separated from schools, unless it ties into the curriculum already learned.
It's sanctioned by the state. There's no mail service on Sunday. Attendance at evangelical churches is going up. Like--
I like to think of the businesses closed on sundays as a way to spend more time with friends and family.
But when she chose the song that she wanted to sing at her graduation, just because it had the mere reference to God in the song, she was removed from the program.
I don't think that this should have been removed. Graduation is a time to celebrate finishing highschool, and move on to college. You should at least be allowed to sing any song.
he taught evolution and creationism side by side. She told him that now, that was actually illegal.
You should be allowed to teach one/the other/or both. It gives perspective to students.
They knew that it just gets ugly when you start dragging everybody's faith into these public debates, and unnecessary.
It really is unnecessary and a time-waster of a topic.
Yeah. And just to be clear, for the record, do you oppose the Christian church?
That shouldn't be something to talk about, especially over the phone, on a podcast. Almost a way of avoiding the situation, maybe?
And one of them, Paul Williams, voted yes to the federal money, but he added wording saying that the Salvation Army couldn't use the facility to hold prayer services or proselytize because of the separation of church and state
I don't take sides in religion. rather i believe in a higher power.<br> I do believe in the Constitution, and we should be able to practice religion freely, without restrictions.
remarkably similar to a passage from first lady Michelle Obama's speech
I remember when this video went viral the next day. It just goes to show how people don't care about what they do.
considered some of the awful things my grandparents and great-grandparents had seen in their lifetimes: two world wars, killer flu, segregation, a nuclear bomb.
This must explain why the father is rambling on about all the possibilities that could occur.
“There will be a pandemic that kills millions, a devastating energy crisis, a horrible worldwide depression and a nuclear explosion set off in anger.”
The father must be very protective of his son, maybe thinking about past experiences.
I’m 16
This is a bit of a hit-you-in-the-face moment. Maybe the author wanted us to get a scene.
where the schoolboard wants to ban any game with "human targets."
I hate these types of games with said human targets. Someone can get hurt almost instantly.
Not to alarm you, but America is going softer than left-outbutter.
I agree with everyone else. This really caught my attention.
his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly.
We rely so much on our eyes, it would be crazy to not see even for a few minutes.
Soprano high female voice Mezzo-soprano medium female voice Alto (contralto) low female voice Countertenor very high male voice Tenor high male voice Baritone medium male voice Bass low male voice
Voices are only used in (obviously) choral music such as operas and chorals. Used in church music too in accompaniment with organ.
Xylophone Glockenspiel Chimes Marimba Vibraphone (vibes)
Pitched percussion that you hit with mostly mallets that are chromatic. They are similar but some are made of different materials.
Snare drum Bass drum Cymbals Tambourine Triangle
Unpitched percussion that is used in a lot of marching band rep. Players in a symphony orchestra walk around stage in the middle of a piece to switch out instruments.
Timpani (kettledrums) [TIM-pa-nee]
A pitched percussion instrument that is mainly used to keep tempo/time in the orchestra.
Harp
A purely string instrument. A harpist plays it by plucking strings with their fingers and operating pedals with their feet. A large, heavy instrument used in music from 1750 to now.
Synthesizer
Used in only modern music covers most of the pianos range, and also has a HUGE variety of effects.
Organ
Used in lots of church music, mainly known for Bach's toccata in D minor.
Harpsichord
The older sister to the piano, with a different sound to it, and also has reversed black and white keys.
Piano
Not used in a lot of orchestral music, but rather used as a solo instrument. It is the mostly played instrument in the world.
Celesta [cheh-LESS-tah]
Only used in a few places in music history. The greatest known entrance of this instrument was in Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Suite "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy."
Tuba
Lowest brass instrument, also being the largest of them.
Trombone
Like the trumpet, but without valves. It has a slide instead.
Horn (French horn)
A muted sounding instrument that has a very large range.
Trumpet
Main brass instrument and plays the highest out of all of them.
Saxophones
Created to mix the power of the brass with the agility of the woodwinds. Used in jazz a lot.
Contrabassoon
Plays an octave lower than the bassoon, and has a VERY low range. Plays lower than an 88 keyboard piano with extensions.
Bassoon
Large and heavy Double reed instrument folds at the boot joint and can has a large range.
Clarinet, Bass clarinet
Same fingering systems, bass clarinet played an octave lower. Both clarinets are tuned in b flat. Other clarinets are subcontrabass clarinet, e flat clarinet, and the rarest A flat.
English horn
Not a main instrument used every day. You have to be good friends (hint hint) with the oboe first to learn the english horn. Also requires a lot of TLC.
Oboe
Used mainly as a solo instrument and requires a lot of TLC
Flute, Piccolo
Other rare instruments in the flute family are alto flute in G, bass flute, even Contrabass flute.
plus other things to hit, scrape, and shake
That's percussion right there...
Violin Viola [vee-OH-lah] Cello (violoncello) [CHEL-low] Bass (double bass, contra bass) [rhymes with “face’]
All modern instruments here. Bows can differ from piece to piece (ie. Baroque bow for baroque music)
Post 'Great War' Years (c.1920 - Present)
NTS also named Contemporary Period/Era
fiendishly difficult
I like the word here "fiendishly."
number of composers
I like the examples here because i can relate to this too. I dont know many composers from the classical period. Many composers that non-musicians would name are most likely from other eras.
Johann Christian
NTS wrote a very famous viola concerto
Baroque (c.1600 - c.1750)
I like how the author emphasizes the huge evolution of music here, because the Baroque era is the time where music really started to move forward.
Choral music
Choral music was later brought back
harpsichord
The harpsichord was a very popular instrument for baroque music. It provides a "clangy" and "tinny" sound for percussive effect in chamber music.
soft-grained viol string family
The baroque instruments were a lot different than our modern ones today. Most were tuned down a half step because "natural keys" like c,d,e,f,g,a, and b scales were not fully developed at the time. Composers used keys down a half step (because of the scale system) which sounded as B flat major to them, but today would sound as B NATURAL major.
modern cantata.
note to self modern cantata was modern back then, not modern for today and the Cont period...
fantasias, variations, and dance movements
I like the way the author gives examples of these. It shows that even from that long ago, traditions thrive on!
work into major and minor scales
Scales were more important to develop back then, especially because new pieces were being composed in different keys nobody had been familiar with.
the normal feel of 'classical' music
Classical music is usually thought of as "quiet and boring" to most people. I think that this should change.
harmony' and 'polyphony'
This shows that in the Renaissance, more musical parts were made, becoming a system (the orchestra).
initially rather stifled by rigid rules governing melody
I like the use of "more intelligent" words here.
he first name that comes to your mind is Google.
It's so true!
Numeric ranges
This would be really useful for things like years, prices, and time.
The wildcard operator (
I find this really cool! Perhaps i forget a book title, that i need for the capstone assignment, maybe Google could pull it up!
For instance, Raven and The Raven return entirely different results.
This brings up an important subject. Like raven, and The Raven. Raven pulled up the bird, and THE raven pulled up Edgar Allen Poe. I would now make sure to include every single correct word in the search
Boolean NOT
What?
2: Use the minus operator (-) to narrow the search
I find this very interesting, seeing as how i've never heard of it.
Google has been fanatical about speed.
I agree! Google can generate millions of answers and websites in such a short amount of time.
Did you hate memorizing seemingly insignificant facts for tests at school?
Yes!! I did not like having to memorize subjects that were off topic.
The Romantic era was the golden age of the virtuoso
This shows the value of this period, from its depth to difficulty.
names are now largely forgotten such as Schobert and Honnauer
Being a student of music history, I have heard of these composers, however have not seen or heard their music ever.
the idea of the modern orchestra was born
The Baroque period was perhaps the most famous in terms of orchestral music, concertos, and opera; and you can see how the writer expresses that.
There is obvious new delight in textural variety and contrast
This states the differentiation of the music periods.
This is the first period where we can begin to be fairly certain as to how a great deal of the music which has survived actually sounded
The writer shows that the beginning of the Medieval period was very prominent.