- Apr 2017
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uuca.uncadighist.org uuca.uncadighist.org
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“In 1819, Unitarian minister William Ellery Channing delivered a sermon called Unitarian Christianity and helped to give the Unitarians a strong platform. Six years later the American Unitarian Association was organized in Boston, Massachusetts. Universalists became the first denomination to ordain women to the ministry, beginning in 1863 with Olympia Brown.”3
This first bit of the UU history seems choppy. Provide more of a narrative, in paragraph form, and incorporate the images into the narrative by making them smaller and wrapping the text around them. (See, for example, the UNCA Century America page.) http://unca.centuryamerica.org/flood-of-1916/
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uuca.uncadighist.org uuca.uncadighist.org
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Joe, Kristen and Keira all have very good feedback for you on this page. I also like the layout, but I'd like to see an image, either on the banner, or below it, that represents the congregation and/or their social justice activities. This page needs to have a lot of visual appeal, so that visitors come and stay. And, as your commenters have said, you will also need some sort of introduction to the site itself on this page.
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ais.uncadighist.org ais.uncadighist.org
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Collecting donation and pledges to the Congregation was the foundation of the community at work. The members of the newly-founded Congregation put in a good investment of money into supporting the Synagogue and the Congregation at large, not knowing whether or not their Congregation would stand the test of time. Additionally, continual dues helped support the plans of the Congregation’s development, including the funding of the lot in which the Synagogue would be located and a cemetery lot for community members.
I wanted to give you an edit, with strikethroughs and additions, of this paragraph, but unfortunately, that's one feature hypothesis and Google Docs don't have yet. Here is my edited paragraph: Donations and pledges to the Congregation were crucial to the community. The members of the newly-founded Congregation invested in the Synagogue and the Congregation at large, not knowing whether their Congregation would stand the test of time. Additionally, dues helped to support the plans for the Congregation’s development, including the funding of the lot on which the Synagogue would be located, along with a cemetery for community members.
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the proactive members of the Congregation ensured the survival of their house of worship for the subsequent generations to grow into, whether these children would chose to stay within Hendersonville’s Congregation or would spread across the United States.
A lot of grammar/syntax problems. Divide into two sentences and be more careful with word choice.
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the establishment and development of the Agudas Israel Congregation and Synagogue would not have come to fruition.
Again -- passive voice. Provide an actor, and use active verbs.
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ais.uncadighist.org ais.uncadighist.org
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The position of Rabbi was filled by a rotating circuit of traveling Rabbis who went to communities too small to have a full-time rabbi.
Unclear -- did this happen after Williamowsky and Cohen, or does this describe them? Reorder the paragraph so that this point is clearer.
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ais.uncadighist.org ais.uncadighist.org
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Mrs. A. Kantrowitz held the initial meetings to establish the Congregation at her home on September 24, 1922. The Kantrowitz family were also one of the founding families to sign the fundraising document as owner of The Hub Shoe Store. Mrs. A. Kantrowitz was appointed as a Trustee on Dec. 5 1926. Mrs. Kantrowitz was appointed to the Finance committee on Dec. 29, 1926. Mrs. Kantrowitz was the Congregations Recording Secretary in the year of 1922 and 1923. Mr. A. Kantrowitz was appointed to a committee of four to secure a charter for the Congregation. Both Mr. and Mrs. Kantrowitz were assigned to a committee to find a suitable location for the Synagogue. On October 8, 1922 A. Kantrowitz was assigned to a committee of three for New Membership. Mr. A Kantrowitz was assigned to the Male Money Raising Committee (6 members total) in October 8, 1922. Mrs. A Kantrowitz was assigned to the Female Money Raising Committee (8 members total) also in October 8, 1922. Mrs. Kantrowitz was appointed to the entertainment committee on November 5, 1922. On December 17, 1922 A. Kantrowitz was assigned to two different committees. One of which was to secure the location for a dance to be held February 22, 1923. The other was to see the Rabbi (Jacobson)and help make arrangemnets for hi to give lectures once a month. On September 2, 1923 Mrs. Kantrowitz was assigned to the Sunday School Committee.
All of these paragraphs have very choppy and repetitive sentences. Instead of a list of committee appointments, provide a narrative. Discuss in a sentence or two the committees to which each person was appointed, for how long (if you have that information) and any other observations you can make about their committees. You can find ways to analyze these kinds of sources to make this a more interesting page. For example, when were they most heavily involved? Were there gaps in committee membership?
And are there other sources other than committee appointments that would help you to tell a more detailed story of the families' involvement?
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Louis Sherman in the committee to fund the cemetery lot.
Something is missing from this sentence.
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(same date).Dec 29
Same date as what?
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Edward Lewis moved his family from Montgomery, Alabama to Saluda, North Carolina in the 1890’s. E
Unclear chronology. Rearrange this section so that it doesn't move backward in time.
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ubscriptions for subscriptions for
Again, watch for typos.
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On December 5, 1926 Abraham Lewis was appointed as a trustee for the Synagogue. On December 29, 1926 Abraham Lewis was appointed to the Finance Committee. On January 11, 1927 Abraham Lewis was appointed to a committee dedicated to raising funds and contributing them to worth institutions.
choppy sentence structure. Smooth it out a bit, and eliminate repetitive wording.
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for the Agudas Israel Congregation for the Synagogue.
clunky -- for the Agudas Israel Congregation's Synagogue?
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ais.uncadighist.org ais.uncadighist.org
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Recent CommentsArchives Categories No categories Meta Log in Entries RSS Comments RSS WordPress.org
Can you get rid of this widget? If you want info directly relevant to the site on a sidebar (menu, etc.) that's fine, but this generic blog stuff doesn't need to be here.
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Hopes that drew these people to the Western North Carolina were to get away from the dense industrial cities of the northeastern states and the sweltering climates of the southern ones, helping various family members recover from horrific respiratory illnesses, or simply to have a new start after business failings and migrating away from the tensions of Europe, the Agudas Israel Synagogue was a haven of Jewish culture that gradually gained a wide membership of peoples from all walks of life.
Divide this into 2 or more sentences, and rearrange the sentences so that they are cast in active voice. Start with the actors and offer an active verb -- "The Jewish immigrants hoped to . . . " rather than beginning with the object (hopes) and offering a passive verb (were).
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mdff.uncadighist.org mdff.uncadighist.org
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About the Mountain Dance and Folk Festival This website is for a digital history research project on the Mountain Dance and Folk Festival, an annual festival that takes place in Asheville, NC. The festival has been going on for 90 years and is a huge part of cultural preservation in Western North Carolina.
Give the viewer more to go on, with a longer summary of the origins and purpose of this page. And will there be photos on this page? The splash page should be very appealing, so that it catches the visitor's attention and makes them want to move further into the site.
The subtitle needs a bit more explanation too. The first folk festival to do what? Where?
Are there plans to customize the banner? An urban skyline doesn't tell us much about the festival.
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mdff.uncadighist.org mdff.uncadighist.org
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1928-1973
The timeline is looking good - there are still a few blank spaces -- between Fiddlin' Bill Hinsley and Aunt Samantha Baumgarner and between Square Dancing! and Bascom Receives Russian Visitors (and receives is misspelled). I assume that there will be more on the timeline? Right now it only goes to 1961. You might also want to change the tab title to Timeline: 1928-1973, so that viewers know the contents of the tab.
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mdff.uncadighist.org mdff.uncadighist.org
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is available here thanks
What are the plans for this link? Will it go to a page containing audio files?
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constructed
Better word?
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preform
perform
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- Mar 2017
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unca.centuryamerica.org unca.centuryamerica.org
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Ultimately, this website seeks to display an Appalachian world that is rich in heritage and history, whose reach extended far beyond the ‘hollers and hills’ of the mountain communities we call home.
There is a typo in the second line.
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Although situated in seclusion deep in the Appalachian Mountains, Asheville, North Carolina had a unique and important experience during the first World
The text is well-written. Very few typos.
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The Home page is very attractive. The banner image is effective, looks to be from the time period studied, and the lettering shows up well against the background.
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