- Mar 2025
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poets.org poets.org
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And sings the tune without the words
pretty poetic, love it
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And sweetest in the gale is heard; And sore must be the storm That could abash the little bird That kept so many warm.
I like how the sentences start with the same word. I like repeating stuff when I write too
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poets.org poets.org
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Gives us no sign
who is us? us as readers or the citizens?
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poets.org poets.org
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mourning doves flying from her tiny throat and you throw her so high she lives up there in the tree
this seems poetic even though I did not understand the meaning to be honest
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throwing that kid in the air again and again
it is hard to read this without punctuation and be focused on the story.
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- Feb 2025
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www.unm.edu www.unm.eduSticks2
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Mom died and he dressed the pole as Death and hung from the crossbar photos of Mom as a baby.
death here is not shown as something scarry or bad but rather just another reason to dress up and live a life.
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Every year Thanksgiving night we flocked out behind Dad as he dragged the Santa suit to the road and draped it over a kind of crucifix he'd built out of metal pole in the yard. Super Bowl week
Thanksgiving, Santa, Super Bowl... this is so American. whoever is not familiar with these things wouldn't know what this is about, but those who have similar traditions dive in that atmosphere right away.
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pankmagazine.com pankmagazine.com
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the tangled nest of red yarn remained on her head, drenched with sweat
I like the description and the details here. reminds me of the song "Jolene", same vibe I think
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A cat whose tail was longer than her skirt laid Raggedy Ann in the bathtub and closed the moldy curtain.
this is a fun comparison of a cat tails and someone's skirt. this reminded me of my grandma, she'd always say that if she thought my skirts were too short. I know that this is about the cat, not the skirt but still
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www.theguardian.com www.theguardian.com
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Chika's hands are still trembling. Just half an hour ago, she was in the market with Nnedi. She was buying oranges and Nnedi had walked farther down to buy groundnuts and then there was shouting in English, in pidgin, in Hausa, in Igbo.
I like the way this is written. details and connections to build the story.
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Hausa Muslims are hacking down Igbo Christians with machetes, clubbing them with stones.
this is a violent act and some kind of crime
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library.achievingthedream.org library.achievingthedream.org
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Reliable narrators also have their own view of life events. However, they generally are attempting to present the story in an accurate, impartial way.
sometimes I struggle while reading stuff like this because I would want to know the writers opinion on stuff that might be important for me.
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Third-person limited means that the narrator limits him/herself by being able to be in one character’s thoughts.
I personally don't like to write like this because I don't want to be limited. If I write I like to be in control of everything and make the story.
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library.achievingthedream.org library.achievingthedream.org
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Her husband, already half-undressed, demanded: “What is the matter with you?” She turned madly towards him: “I have—I have—I’ve lost Mme. Forestier’s necklace.” He stood up, distracted. “What!—how?—Impossible!”
dialogue being included and built correctly.
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She had a friend, a former schoolmate at the convent, who was rich, and whom she did not like to go and see any more, because she suffered so much when she came back.
pretty good description and enough details about a new character.
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She was one of those pretty and charming girls who are sometimes, as if by a mistake of destiny, born in a family of clerks.
I like the beginning of the story, it has a nice catch/hook. This would make me curious and have desire to keep reading.
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library.achievingthedream.org library.achievingthedream.org
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Notice the shifts from dialogue to scene descriptions in this scene
the shifts are pretty nice here, it is hard to connect the story sometimes and in this case it is done correctly.
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“Do you cage ’em up?
the usage of this language makes the reader relate to the text better. I like when the writing is in less official language so it feels like I am the one living through the dialogue.
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library.achievingthedream.org library.achievingthedream.org
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the stranger said kindly
you don't always associate a stranger with being kind. Especially when a kid is alone in the forest. Parents usually would tell you to not talk to strangers.
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Sylvia had all the time there was, and very little use to make of it.
I think we can all relate to something like this. How many of us waste a lot of time everyday? As a kid I feel like time flew faster tho, so it could've been different for Sylvia
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- Jan 2025
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library.achievingthedream.org library.achievingthedream.org
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Two young girls in red came by and two young soldiers in blue met them
in my culture, in Ukraine, colors always symbolize something, so I feel like this is not mentioned randomly. If I had to go deep and interpret this, I would have a specific example of what red or blue can symbolize in different ways.
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the blue sky powdered with gold and great spots of light like white wine splashed
as discussed in class, the description of the sky is pretty nice. It makes we think of a question I was asked during one of my interviews: "how would you describe a color blue to a blind person?" I am not sure how I would describe without being poetic. Of course describing the sky and the color are two different things but yet it reminded me of that.
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library.achievingthedream.org library.achievingthedream.org
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Drafting involves writing the first draft of a document. Some writers write their first draft with a pen and a notebook. Other writers write directly on a laptop or computer. The choice depends on the preference of the writer.
I like to write on a paper because it takes me away from all the distractions and I feel more inspiration.
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