- Aug 2024
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Sometimes when professionals use the phrase “in denial,” the implied message is that the parents arenot being realistic in their expectations of what their child can or will be able to do.
Sometimes in denial is used when expectations parents have for their children are seen as too high or too far out of reach at that time but even if this is the case there is better verbiage that should be used .
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If professionalscategorize parents as “in denial,” unaccepting, or difficult, professionals may lose the chance tounderstand and learn from the parents.
"denial" cannot put a real limit on the progress not just between parent and profession but between professional and the child.
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iller (1994) views denial as a protective device used by a parent when he or she is not ready to dealwith a problem or its implications.
Miller views denial as form a refusal of acceptance from the parents and other professionals see denial as the disagreement between parent and professional in prognosis, intervention style, or program for the child.
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Thus, when a family has a child with a disability, theparents may have a range of emotional responses that all family members experience at various time
They suggest that the family's emotions will likely shift as the child is experiencing shifts in their life (developmental shifts) and in smaller transitions like from one program to another.
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They suggestthat feelings of denial and grief are emotions that may disappear and reappear in all families
Turnbull and Turnbull urge professionals to explore beyond grief and denial because those are not the only emotions that families experience when dealing with their child with a disability and even so they will not always be experiencing those emotions anyway so the range of the experiences and feelings still need to be explored.
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Winton, in 1990, remindedprofessionals to define “denial” as an internal coping strategy,which may be useful to some parents, rather than view theconcept as a worrisome stage to be overcome before reaching the stage of acceptance
Winton challenged the term denial to have an alternative meaning amongst professionals, one that is less of a pitiful connotation and instead a term that is associated with coping.
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Featherstone (1980) suggested that some parents might notpass through the stages at all or might experience the stages in differing orders or at varying rates ofintensities.
Despite the four elements not being exactly similar to the stages of grief they are comparable in that they can be experienced out of order and in different intensities.
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The four elements of adaptation she describesinclude surviving, searching, settling in, and separating.
Parents and families of children with a disability adapt to having a child with a disability more than they grieve because the adaption allows them to evolve and are not seen as linear like grief.
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Howard, Williams, Port and Lepper (1997) suggest that it may not be helpful for professionals to viewfamily members as being in particular stages of grief.
Viewing family members as experiencing stages of grief, especially linear stages of grief, may not be beneficial because many families don't not see having a child with a disability as something heavy enough to "grieve" over or they don't not grieve in a linear manner about their child.
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Others have recognized that the presence of achild with a disability in a family can have many positive effects, and can even help to strengthenfamilies
Having a child with a disability in the family is not always a negative impact like it is believed to be by some people (and professionals) it can have a positive impact on the family.
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