Movies like Big Trouble in Little China, create ahyperbolic image of Chinatown, in which the spirituality prevalent in most Asian cultures isdepicted as comedic or evil.
I would not recommend ending paragraphs by introducing a new piece of evidence
Movies like Big Trouble in Little China, create ahyperbolic image of Chinatown, in which the spirituality prevalent in most Asian cultures isdepicted as comedic or evil.
I would not recommend ending paragraphs by introducing a new piece of evidence
The depictions of Asian culture in music and film are extensions of the stereotypesAsian-Americans faced during the Cold War.
Your claim talks about music and film but you only use one piece of evidence for proof, I'd recommend adding evidence that specifically talks about the problems in the movie or music industry
America touted that the Asians in the U.S. were successful because manyhad the nuclear family dynamic popularized in the 1950’s: father works, mother stays at home,and the kids work hard at school.
Citation?
tropes of attractive femininity and vulnerable childhood followingthe end of the Pacific War
Good, the Kim Sisters are a very good example to use
unknown actors
It would be helpful to include a specific example of this
tinyurl.com/3wetmpk7 (the interview where a reporter asked the already famous actor what it was like to be famous now that he'd starred in squid game and was known in the US)
The success, or lack thereof, became seen as an Asian-American problem rather than aresult of discrimination.
Very strong point
over-fascination intothe culture, looks, and actions of Asians during the Cold War. Orientalism became a mysterioustopic in American society, White Americans became mystified by an exaggerated curiosity aboutthe Asian culture
You might want to use evidence here and give specific examples
Asian Americans were abandoned by the governmentbecause it perpetuated a stereotype that Asian-Americans were fine without it. They sufferedduring the Cold War because they were deemed the “Model Minority,” leaving them to their owndevices.
Insightful analysis
There must have been a lot of evidence against them
Strong use of evidence
The plight of Asian Americans was ultimately carried out by fellow Americans.
Critical-- very important
Racism
Good paragraph
The Cold War created a distinct struggle for Asian-Americans between living up to thereputation created for them and their ability to maintain individual identities tied to their Asianroots
Well put
Yasutake joined the military in a bid to get his father released from prison sooner
This feels sort of out of place, it needs more commentary to better integrate it into your point
, “...Asians donot know about the resources available.”
This quote seems sort of sudden and is confusing without the context with which it was said
Asian-Americans have been used as tools for the U.S.government, while being persecuted and discriminated against by the American government,military, and people.
Good wording
Americans were perceived to succeed, while never giving them the opportunity to succeed
Good wording
Since World War II even
This seems to have been a trend even before WWII, as illustrated the Chinese Exclusion Act
U.S. soldiers used local “comfort women” and prostitutes to fulfill theirsexual and romantic desires and then left them to be ridiculed by civilians and disgraced in theeyes of the governments that convinced the women to take such a role.
Use evidence and cite a specific source-- also maybe move this line up further in the paragraph so there's more room for analysis
always
Avoid absolutes
each generation became more immersed inAmerican culture than the last
The reading we did a few weeks about The Wong family in California illustrates this very well
at home
If you're going to say "at home" then I would recommend providing domestic examples of this
while portraying the U.S. imperialism as heroic
It's true, but you still need to use evidence to provide an example
“the I-Hotel, this low income housing unit primarily housed theManongs, who were the first wave of Filipino immigrants” ... “realized the importance of livingin their communities, and the systemic removal of what the city deemed disposable people.”
As a reader, better integration and more context would be helpful
The
"the"
“YellowBrotherhood” was an organization of Asian youth in Los Angeles seeking to fight oppression ofnot only Asian-Americans, but of minorities as a whole.
What era was this?
the U.S. did little but perpetuate and enable hate and stereotypes inAsian-American communities during the Cold War
I'm unsure how this claim fits with your evidence discussing the Vietnam War
As the Civil Rights movementbegan to gain momentum in the African American communities, many other minority groupsbegan to follow suit.
Very interesting
hypocritically
I'm unclear on what you mean by this phrase
Asian-Americans could only obtain success when they adhered to the way ofliving prescribed by the government. While the government characterized the Asian-Americancommunity as acquiescent, as the Cold War persisted and the racism intensified, an Asian CivilRights movement arose.
Very good
“We have plenty of allies buta number of them do not contribute in the same generous and noble way in which we do.”
Your claim is about how the US treated Asian people as lesser being but your evidence is about Vietnam and how the US had a "self-righteous attitude" when its allies would not really get involved, I would clarify or use a piece of evidence that specifically illustrates the racist mindset of the United States during this time
After Japanese Americans being hypocritically interned
This is a huge historical event and a good example of how deeply the US' racism ran, maybe spend some more time on it and use evidence to better illustrate the mindset that justified it
internationally in the fight for equality.
Incomplete sentence
Asian-Americans within the countries
Are they Asian-Americans if they are living in countries that are not the United States and do not consider themselves American? You mention Vietnam and Korea-- I'm not sure citizens of these countries consider themselves to be Asian-American
Women of color throughout the United States allied9themselves as the Cold War progressed into the next wave of feminism. Asian-American womenjoined in this struggle to create a better role for women in society.
Use evidence to support this. Are there records of protests where WOC worked together behind a unified message? Photos? News articles?
constantly consisted
A bit clunky phrasing-- this is the opening sentence, it should be smoothly phrased to draw the reader in
Ex. "Throughout the Cold War, the United States consistently..."
As seen in Taiwan, Vietnam,and Korea during the War, Asian women were often used as props to satisfy or protect men
This paragraph seems to be focusing specifically on domestic efforts for WOC to unite so this sentence feels a little out of place as it suddenly changes the focus to the international perspective
:
,
shock those now complaining about the hardships endured by the Negroes
Maybe consider telling us who is saying this and what the significance of this speaker is, activist, historian, politician, etc.
However, the treatment and beliefs of Asian-Americans during the Cold War isscarcely examined, or discussed, in common education settings
This is a very interesting focus and certainly an under-examined one
The country took advantage of its minorities, no matter how willingAsian-Americans to try and assimilate and show their loyalty to the United States, the U.S.began its trend of abandoning minorities after they fulfill their purpose to the government: evenwhen the victims are its own citizens
Very strong point, well put
Cuba (where
Cuba, where both...
has historically been troubled,
Elaborate, "such as" "with incidents like" etc.
This idea spewed by the United States, and believed by theAmerican people, created an idea about Asian-Americans’ success that was far from the harshreality for these immigrants.
Good
during f
"during the Cold War faced" I presume is what you meant
Asians in America.
I'd mention the Model Minority problem briefly somewhere in your conclusion too