Again this is another example of where a short few words are assuming a lot of information on the part of the student.

Learning how to track your cycle requires education and then practice. How are they approaching this currently? Do they teach an initial class and then wait a couple of months before teaching this bracelet class? To my knowledge I believe they are just teaching this one class. If it is a matter of difficulty in organizing a class and reaching as many students as possible, then maybe teaching just one class would reach more people. In that way, teaching how to track your period will need to be done briefly, but very effectively in order for the bracelet to be useful to the students.

I like this section, it is clear and easy to understand. The photo from the FEBY website that I previously posted would also reinforce what is being said here. Something else that could potentially be helpful is mentioning where the beads go when each color is explained initially in the document. This is a good example of keeping something short, simple and clear enough to become accessible to all.

I actually had the opportunity to utilize this document by making a bracelet myself. This process really highlighted how much this document really needs some overall revisions. Even just on a basic structural level. There are some simple mistakes that need to be changed (I've highlighted some about the white and black beads). Beyond that, the overall document could be simplified for a younger reading level.

I actually had to go to the feby.com website, look at their photos and use some of their written instructions before I could understand the instruction well enough to make the bracelet. (This was the page I used http://www.feby.com/ )

I like how each color is basically kept within the bounds of about one short paragraph. This makes me think that the author was trying to keep things simple. Which they did accomplish in some ways. However, there are instances where the information provided assumes that the audience is already educated to a certain extent.

For example, this sentence assumes that the reader is already educated and familiar not only with what "cervical mucus" is and where it can be found, but also the detail of the physical consistency of the mucus itself. As a midwife, I know by first hand that far too many women do not even know where their cervix is let alone that is is excreting some sort of mucus on a cyclical basis.

There is an art to simplifying something complex into something digestible, this seems especially true with persons at a lower reading level. Thoreau said it well when he stated, "Our life is frittered away by detail,. Simplify, simplify, simplify!"

My first reaction was to be a little bit annoyed with the very short choppy sentences here. But, as I remembered the audience that this is intended for, I felt grateful for the consideration. Being that they use this document to teach young girls/women in schools in Swaziland, South Africa, where contraception is very difficult to come by.

In fact when thought of in this way, maybe some of the word use could have been even more simple. Especially as we read on in the hand out, the document does seem to be slightly heavy on the use of large words. With words like, "neutrality," "symbolize," and "probability," it seems like the document could have been made more accessible if more simple words were used. It reminds me of the rhetoric youtube video we watched in class about Trump's answer to one question. I believe he uses a 4th grade reading level of language on average. While most of us may quickly jump to the conclusion of that being ridiculous. It was actually a tactic that could have gained him some political points among the general public, because there was a huge group of people that could now fully understand him, he could not previously connect to politicians.

This is where audience becomes very important. Here are some photos of the intended audience for this document...

There is more of a technical error here than anything else. That being that not every woman has just 3 days of PMS, in fact I know of many women who have more. On the document this isn't such a bad problem, because they are using the word, "average." However, it becomes problematic when the actual beads that come in the kit only offer 3 black (PMS) beads. So, if a woman has more than 3 of these days, it cannot be represented on her bracelet with what they currently have explained and offered here.

Outline: I know it doesn't make much sense to only highlight the "1." but I wanted to make some comments regarding the structure and outline of the document and how that affects the recipient/student.

There is some good information here, but the general outline, blandness and wordiness of the document could be altered to be much more effective for the intended audience in my opinion.

It could probably also be turned into a short presentation with slides (if they have that option to use a projector). If a projector is not available, the simple slides could be printed off on large sized papers for the presentation.

Nada (the teacher/presenter in Swaziland) mentioned that she uses, "...a large laminated poster of the female reproductive system and some dry erase markers to give visuals of what is happening in each part of the cycle." She also stated that, "I really didn't use any external documents to teach. I used the manual [this document] in the kit but simplified the directions verbally as we worked through the bracelets."

Nada is following some of the recommendations listed in a research article I read about using visual aids to increase learning. This study concluded that, "using visuals aids as a teaching method stimulates thinking and improves learning environment in a classroom."(1)

As it is, this document does have valuable content. However, an updated version with a simplified layout and adding in visual aids could enhance the learning experience for students. This could also make the teacher’s job a little bit easier as well.

(Note: I would be interested in taking these annotations that I have made to Andrea, or maybe even just creating a whole new document. )

Resource: (1) http://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ1079541.pdf Journal of Education and Practice www.iiste.org ISSN 2222-1735 (Paper) ISSN 2222-288X (Online) Vol.6, No.19, 2015

I don't have too much to say about this sentence, other than that whoever was annotating this document from FEBY originally, missed this typo. I really do not know what is meant by this sentence. I tried to make meaning of it for about a minute and then just moved on labeling it as a mistake.

Either directly under this title or just before, "How it works" section I think it could be very helpful to include a visual aid. This one comes from the FEBY website.

This would actually help users to see what an example of the bracelet looks like. This is on the FEBY website, but I do not believe that they are using much more than this document (and a large laminated anatomy photo) when teaching to the young women in Swaziland. At least that is was Nada (our contact in Swaziland who teaches the classes) has told us. That being said, I think this photo could be helpful.

This document originally came from the FEBY-Female Empowerment Bracelet (feby.com). To my knowledge this is where the original idea for the bracelets came for the bracelet kits that are sent to Swaziland.

I don't know if some kind of agreement has been made between Andrea (the professor leading up the project here) and the FEBY company. I also want to note that this is a small organization that is working through peace corp to send over bracelets. That being said, I do still feel like the overall quality could be improved. I don't mind so much that they are using FEBY's document, but having "(annotated from FEBY instructions)" directly under the title seems a little distracting. I wonder if it couldn't be placed in a less conspicuous location on the document, maybe towards the bottom, or even woven into an intro paragraph.

I know that they are trying to to be concise here and I love this first sentence under the Diversity heading. However, I would really love even just one example of how powers and privileges, or disproportionate burdens on vulnerable communities are destructive to the environment. I love it, I just want more, not just more info in general, but a specific example could be very powerful right here and informative.

This is a powerful statement, because it is backed up my numbers. That they have grown from a small group to now, over 50 countries, this has power in and of itself. They take it a step further though, to express that even though they have grown, that their mission and spirit remains the same and that their vigor to continue in this work is growing in importance as other threats to the planet increase.