making Sims’s dedication to developing solutions to common gynecological problems important.
I hate that so many people see him as a hero and "the father of gynecology" because what he did was completely wrong. There were definitely better ways to go about it.
like “dropping them in the city’s sewers, by shallow burial in vacant lots, by dumping them on city streets, or through their incineration with household garbage,”
How did this not raise a red flag to anyone? It's completely inhumane. I wouldn't even do this with a pet.
From the era of American slavery and through more modern times, black people have been degraded, experimented on, and exploited by white Americans to achieve societal goals
This reminds me of J. Marion Sims. He performed gynecology practices on his slaves and other's slaves without anesthesia and people defend him because he was a man of his time and slaves were lucky to get any healthcare.
Until I take responsibility for what happened, I will never get past it.
This is quite possibly the worst advice I've ever heard. A person should be able to go dance without having to worry that someone roofied their drink. And they most certainly shouldn't be the person to blame for their assault.
To study nonconsensual sex among the incarcerated
I really like that they included sexual abuse in prisons because it is definitely not something I would've even thought about.
For years, the FBI definition of rape was gendered, requiring “carnal knowledge of a female forcibly and against her will.”
I feel like this could be a big part as to why we assume that all rape has female victims. But, did the media play a part in this because the majority of cases that we hear about in the news have female victims?
38 percent of victims were men
It is really surprising that this number is so high because a majority of sexual assaults that we see displayed in the news seems to have women as the main victims. I would've expected the percentage to be much lower.
(In a later lesson, students differentiated between secrets that are more like “surprises” and secrets that might mean a friend is in danger and shouldn’t be kept from grown-ups.)
I'm really glad that this part was included because as soon as I heard the word "secret" I immediately thought about how that could be taken the wrong way and lead to a bad situation.
(“I don’t think I’ve ever used the word ‘consent’ with a three-year-old before,” Kahn says.)
I think this is why I never really thought kids were being taught consent. When I thought about times I had heard the word consent it was never around small children but when you teach consent to children you don't need to use that word, they just need to understand that they own their bodies.
but for younger students, the conversation is different.
I never really thought about how you would teach consent to children before this class. When you mentioned it earlier in the semester I was kind of shocked because the thought of teaching consent just seems to coincide with sex and that is obviously not something we talk about with small children.
A review of nineteen studiesabout support staff attitudes to the sexual behaviors of people with intellectual disabilityand mental illness found that heterosexual rather than homosexual activity was accepted
This surprises me because if residents are having heterosexual sex, they have the possibly of getting pregnant and having a child with special needs as well. I thought that they would be more accepting of homosexual relationships because it would reduce the possibility of pregnancies that probably shouldn't be happening.
herson reacted negatively saying no, he didn’t want her and that he needed a girlfriend whohad her own car and licence
I feel bad in situations like this, but in the same sense, I feel like dating someone with Down syndrome would most likely mean they are not at the same intellectual level as other high functioning adults and would feel more like caretaking or babysitting.
People with intellectual disability are generally poor
Are there statistics to prove that people of disability are actually more likely to come from a poor family? Or is that just a generalization of the lower class? I feel like people with more money are also more likely to be able to afford help for their children and are more likely to hide that their child has disabilities so that they aren't looked at differently. We may also see more disability in poor people because of people who apply for disability but may not need it. My friend's mom is on disability because she is a type one diabetic. My mom also is type one and has been since she was twelve, and she has completed schooling and worked her entire life, never applying for disability.
and having no means of communicating
I'm not saying that I think people with mental disabilities shouldn't be able to have sex, but having no means of communicating can make it really hard for consent to be given.
we have come less far in attitudes towards people withintellectual disability and sexual expression
I feel like no one really thinks about the fact that someone with intellectual disabilities still may have sexual needs. I definitely didn't think about it until we brought it up in class. I think that we assume that because they have a disability, sexual interactions seem like something that is too far out of their mental capacity.
construes behaviours such as following people, becoming jealous, and possessively trying to limit their friendships with others as romantic
I feel like in general, people don't take this book/movie completely realistically which is a good thing so hopefully people don't think that someone stalking and being possessive is healthy no matter what kind of contracts you have signed.
This reproduces common myths around men's natural sexual needs and women's lack of them
I haven't seen the movies but couldn't this just be a little bit of a stretch? She signed a contract to be submissive which means she agrees to all that he says. She must like that if that is what she agreed to which shows her sexual needs. Maybe he sexual needs are already being covered by letting him take control.
Despite wanting to, Ana does not speak to her close friends or family about her concerns over whether to sign the contract and to consent to submitting to Christian.
I find it interesting that they included that she does want to talk about it even though she can't. Although this movie could show unrealistic examples of sex, at least it is showing that if you sign a contract you need to follow it. I like that they tell the audience that she is tempted and wants to but doesn't because she agreed not to. It shows the audience that these contracts should be taken seriously if you're participating in BDSM activities.
BDSM contracts, safewords, and checklists of activities, drawing on common understandings and practices
I feel like a lot of people bash on the BDSM community and don't really understand how it works. Before reading this I had no idea that they sign contracts and have safe words. I kind of assumed that the kink of it was that there was no safety net.
. Sexadvice articles rarely mention the importance of seeking consent
I feel like we really noticed this last class. None of the articles directly addressed consent. One of them said that you may not enjoy certain aspects of sex so you don't have to do them but that's not consent.
In news and popular culture, affirmative consent is often criticized for being unrealisticand out-of-line with sexual norms.
How can it be considered unrealistic to have clear consent? It's as easy as you and your partner talking and asking each other what you do and don't like. I don't find that unrealistic at all.
yes”or“no”is sufficient; the problem with this model isthat it fails to account for the cultural and social systems that underlie all interpersonalcommunication
I like that this isn't considered a great form of consent because it means you'll really be communicating with your partner and hopefully having a better connection.
parents and schoolsshould promote sexting abstinence and monitor teens’technology use
When I was in middle school my parents would monitor my technology use and then they came to the realization that it was a total invasion of my privacy. I was talking to my friends about things that I didn't talk to my parents about and they were seeing it anyways. If parents continue to do this it will only urge kids to be more secretive. Strict parents create sneaky kids.
Women/girls who are photographed without their knowledge are blamed for being care-less, while women/girls expressing sexual agency by taking or sharing nude/sexualimages are judged even more harshly; peers consider them to be less responsible anddesirable, often labeling them‘sluts.’
Somehow it seems to only be seen as a negative when these photos of women circulate. From what I have experienced, when a man's nudes are circulated, no one shames them but if a girl's nude photos get out she is constantly slut shamed. The negative connotation on female's nudes is that ladies are supposed to be proper and quiet but why are men not expected to do the same?
the concept of bodily integrity assumes that we have a privileged relationship to our ownbodies‒a right to determine what happens to them and, above all, how other people relateto them
I tried looking up a more in depth definition of bodily integrity and from what I am seeing it seems like the same thing as bodily autonomy. What is the difference between the two?
someone threaten to post photos of them
The fact that this private information I used as a threat really shows how sick our society is. A lot of leaked nude photos were shared between partners who "trust" each other and it's sad that they can be used as a weapon.
As a result, some experts who dispense sex advice will suggest things like trying out new sexual activities without discussing them first, effectively hoping that you will get away with it.
Isn't this borderline nonconsensual sex?
teenagers sharing nude images of themselves,
A lot of teens who share nude pictures of themselves are in relationships where they can trust their partners not to share them but all too often, when they break up, their partner uses the photos that they were supposed to be trusted with to stab their partner in the back and expose them.
parents themselves say they would like to do more for their children on this topic, and be better at it, but feel they lack the skills and confidence.
A big reason that parents are lacking in this topic is because even though sex doesn't seem like something that you would think evolves, it does. Not just how we do it, but how we end up in sexual situations. Hook up culture is huge nowadays and if I were a parent I don't think I'd want to have that talk with my child.
Sex and re-lationships education for many of us continues to be woefully inadequate.
In my high school, the only thing they really taught about was the dangers of STDs and teen pregnancy. They never told us about the ways consent should/shouldn't look, that was up to us to decide I guess.
It casts men as less in control of their sexual desires
It's sad that this is even a logical thought. Yes, men's brains may be wired to need sex, but that doesn't mean they need to lose control. Men have control over their sexual urges as much as anyone else.
relationship maintenance:
As much as it doesn't seem right, many people see this as a form of making a relationship work. If someone feels that they are so desperately in love with their partner, then this may seem like a logical answer to keeping them around. This doesn't make it right, but it does make some sense.
(in a legal sense)
What exactly do they mean by saying "in a legal sense"? Are they basing this description off of basic ways people give consent or are we to assume that they signed away their rights of their body to their sexual partner on a legal document?
such as not telling their partners to stop
I fully understand what consent should look like but this blurs the lines a little bit on what is okay. The text says women use non-verbal clues....such as not telling their partners to stop. How can their partners know the difference between this and "Silence doesn't mean yes"?
it’s OK for sex not to end in cisgender men orgasming
It's sad that this is the way a lot of sex ends and that not enough women are having enjoyable sex that ends in them orgasming.
content aimed at teenage audiences.
Sometimes it isn't even seen in teenage audiences. My high school health classes never said anything about consent. The main point the teacher wanted to get across was "don't get STIs".
men can’t help themselves when pro-voked in these ways
if lesbian women can control themselves when "provoked" in this way, then so can men
ignore a first (and second, and third) no
just an interesting quote from something I read related to this: "no doesn't mean 'maybe', no doesn't mean 'try harder', no means no"
Perhaps the most common rape myth is that rapists are strangers who jump out of dark alleys with weapons.
For the longest time, this was the only way I thought people were raped. It is horrifying to know that so many rape victims have been attacked by people that they knew and trusted.
and is able to say so
I like that they included the "and is able to say so" because all too often men take silence as consent. If a girl is speechless they can choose to assume it is in a good way and consider that as consent which it's not.
Effectively, actions that are completely unrelated to either sex or consent are taken as synony-mous with an expression of consent
I recently read an article that talked about things like this happening and the assumptions of consent with examples like "looking sexy is not consent", "walking alone is not consent", and "drunk is not consent".
And you should be able to make those decisions without external pressure, coercion, or others wielding power over you.
Key words being "should be". This is often times not the case. Things might not even be directly said to a person but the pressure of society today also adds pressure to what we do with our bodies like how we dress, nourish, and take care of ourselves.