The mental pain caused me my addiction to begin with. Mental pain you can feel. It can get so bad you can feel it physically. I refer to it as hell, and I'm not going back to hell anymore, no thank you. I'm not going to die in hell, that's for sure.
This citation makes reference to pain as one of the oldest mythological or allegorical correspondence to hell. Hell as a human damnation, worst of the worst suffering one can endure. Hell is folkloristic, traditional and religious believe of an eternal soul punishment for sins committed during the life. Here the drug user explains her mental state as hellish experience and drug use is a form of escapism. We can only assume that this person carries a burden of life that put her in a ‘depressive state’. She uses drugs to break off the ‘mental state’. This allegory is common among the drug users and any chronic pain sufferers to explain a pain as ‘hellish’ experience, experience of loneliness and void that only drugs can satisfy it. Although, author is not going into this allegories deeper interpretation, I believe, common society sees drug users putting themselves in the hell of addiction. Society does not see drug addicts’ psychological suffering as the 'hellish anguish'. There is a dissonant of ‘hell’ meaning between drug users and the rest of the “regular” society. This topic could be a research on its own.