And what I felt while standing under the dome in Olympia was this sense that people were expected to check their authentic selves at the door and give themselves over to those arcane systems. p span[style*="font-size"] { line-height: 1.6; } When I was 29 and running for state legislature myself (admittedly, knowing I had no chance of winning), I thought about things differently than I find I think about them today. There are a lot of complicated reasons for that, but here’s one that may seem surprising: I have a much better sense of who I am today, and as such, I feel more out of sync with a lot of what surrounds me. I’m more confident with who I am but not also, at least not always, with presenting that authentic person to others. p span[style*="font-size"] { line-height: 1.6; } It is perhaps ironic that one of the settings where I did feel like I could be more authentic was when I was an elected official. In my four years on the Local School Council at Prussing Elementary, and in some of my related political engagement during that time, I felt authentic and free and like I really had something positive to contribute. And I’ve lost a lot of that since leaving the city. I’ve never been able to find that kind of footing where I’m at. I think the pandemic had something to do with that, and I think the difficult experience I had when I was president of the PTO had something to do with that, and I also think that I felt left behind by politics in a lot of ways. p span[style*="font-size"] { line-height: 1.6; } I read Tammy’s “What I Stand For” page though and it’s like - well, that’s me! I’m not “left behind”. I’m adrift, but that’s not the same thing. I’m just… out of sync. Like I felt in Olympia.
Ah, here Phil explains what he means with feeling out of place in the Washington State Capitol building.