- Feb 2018
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blogs.baruch.cuny.edu blogs.baruch.cuny.edu
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The One Child Policy In China
I really enjoyed your paper for a few reasons. First and foremost, I commend your bravery for telling the story about your grandfather. Clearly, your grandfather was a determined man when deciding to immigrate to this country, with the best interest of his family at mind when doing this.
In terms of critique, I have a few things to mention. You talk about how there are more men than women, and how not many people want women as a child. Maybe it would be helpful if you discuss recent feminist efforts in China? I'm sure there are many articles on information pertaining to feminism in China.
Also, it's worth noting that you discuss two completely different things in the paper. About half is devoted to talking about the one child policy in China, while the other half describes the journey your grandfather went on. I know this paper is allowed to flow wherever, but maybe take my comment into consideration.
Lastly, but least important is the grammar. There are some simple mistakes throughout the essay that can be fixed. I would recommend reading the essay aloud and it will be easy to recognize the errors.
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What kind of sentence lengths is Whitman using?
Interesting. I never knew this technique had a name, medium in this case.
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This week I spend more time walking around this area. It’s not a very special place. This place is where I used to go to school during my elementary school years. Now I work in a after school program I actually got a chance to walk into this school again. Nothing looks new to me except the building has been repainted. I recognized many of the staffs there as well as new staffs. Sadly the old staffs don’t remember me. The kids I see are going wild. They run around and play tag around the lunchrooms. This trip to this school brings back so much memories. I recalled how immature I was during my younger years and the fun times I had. If only I was more mature I would have joined more events in school and performances. This week has been a very memorial week. I was able to remember so much from my younger years, both good memories and bad memories.
I like how a clear picture is painted when describing the lunchroom.
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This is my first weekly walk and i decided to write about the place I pass by everyday when I go home from work. It isn’t any special place just a sidewalk I down sometimes when I walk home. Sometimes I would walk down this path unconsciously when I know I have to go another way to reach my destination. This path has become so special even though it’s just a regular plain side in other people’s eyes. This path used to be the path where me and my high school friends used to walk together on. Now that we all graduated from high school we don’t hang our as we used to do. It feels lonely sometimes walking this path all by myself, but I am used it by now. I secretly wish I can see my high school and walk this path together with them again. This is the place where I was the most happiest in all my high school years everyday. This path brings back so much memories even though I only graduated high school not too long ago.
I like how Zhang uses raw emotion such as sadness when describing his walk. It takes him down a nostalgic path, no pun intended. It shows that he really appreciates his High School friends.
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