Being attracted to a narcissistic person also appears to be a common type of fatal attraction discussed by both scholars and the popular press. Narcissism is a personality trait that involves a “pervasive pattern of grandiosity, self-focus, and self-importance” (Back, Schmukle, & Egloff, 2010, p. 132) and is part of the “dark triad” personality (narcissism, Machiavellianism, and subclinical psychopathy; Qureshi, Harris, & Atkinson, 2016). Studies have shown that people are initially attracted to narcissists (Back et al., 2010; Morf & Rhodewalt, 2001; Paulhus, 1998). They appear extroverted, self-confident, charming, agreeable, and competent (Allroggen, Rehmann, Schurch, Morf, & Kolch, 2018). They are also “entertaining to watch” (S. M. Young & Pinsky, 2006, p. 470). However, as people get to know narcissists, they tend to become less attracted to them. One study showed that the very characteristics that make narcissists most attractive when people first meet them were the same characteristics that were most damaging in the long run (Back et al., 2010). Behaviors that were initially seen as showing excitement, confidence, and motivation were later viewed as exploitative and self-absorbed.
This paragraph highlights how attraction to narcissists often begins with admiration for their confidence and charisma which later shifts into disillusionment. I found it quite interesting that the same qualities such as extroversion, charm, self-confidence, etc. can create the initial attraction as well as the eventual repulsion. This shows how attraction is not static, it changes once someone gains deeper insight into another’s character. It also makes me think about how surface-level impressions can cloud one's judgment, especially in the early stages of relationships. The concept of “fatal attraction” here I think is powerful because it demonstrates that what we desire most at first can become harmful over time. This connects to broader themes in the science of relationships, such as how long-term compatibility often requires different traits than short-term appeal. Overall, the research reminds us to look beyond first impressions when evaluating potential partners, since charisma can sometimes mask deeper and underlying issues.