I wanted to be open and honest here because my audience can connect to this. They know how emotional this performance is and how it makes them feel, and i hope they are put at ease to see me, as the author, share that vulnerability with them. I want to make this a safe, relatable space and actors really appreciate that.

I feel that most people don't know this Actress/Singer, but every musical theatre nerd does! She is an extraordinary singer, probably the best broadway has seen and theatre kids are obsessed! The performance I am referencing is so iconic!

Most theatre people are familiar with this song and are aware of the call and response connection I am making.

All of the show references i am making are pretty basic and easy to understand from a theatre kid's perspective, however they are probably not as easily understood by others.

I chose a very casual, informal tone for this paper because I wanted it to feel conversational and relatable to my audience. Also my tone (my references and slang) appeals to a younger crowd, because I know they are more open-minded than older generations and want to change the industry.

Great point! It is important for your audience to know that Kanye didn't release this album to be recognized as a perfect follower of God, he did it to ask for help. He was reaching out a hand to the Christian community with this album, and Christians rejected him.

I find it very useful that you point out that Kanye KNOWS that the christian community isn't on his side, and that he is going to receive backlash. The use of his quote causes that audience to gain a sense of sympathy toward Kanye and want to help him on his religious journey. It really supports your point and overall goal.

The concept of this paper is so interesting and relevant but i think you could even dive deeper if you addressed how race plays into this phenomenon. The majority of artists you name are Black men. Is this significant? Are christians resistant to gospel rap because of the style, or because the style is a part of Black culture? Is racism a factor? Just a thought.

I love the playlist you provided. It gives the reader easy access to appreciating the genre and possible broadening their gospel music taste. It gets them thinking and taking action which is all an author can ask of their audience. Great job! I loved idea this so much I copied it and used the same spotify playlist technique on my paper.

I feel that your target audience is older generation Christians because they tend to be the most opposed to the style. They did not grow up with rap style music and are therefore reluctant to this change in Christian sound.

it didn't feel too choppy in my opinion. but i agree with berri to have a stronger reason as to why you are giving us these examples. hope that helps! great job!

1: i appreciate your care to give your audience a full, objective view of your paper. i find it very helpful to understand points without only viewing propaganda from the jaded American perspective.

great comparison! it accurately represents the morals of each country and the way in which they both approached their war's.

To add to Berri's point, i feel like this paragraph is lacking in. comparison to the others. Women played huge role in these wars and i don't think this paragraph represents that. it is very surface level. go deeper.

maybe make this conclusion a little stronger and really bring your argument full circle. it feels weak and lacking here because the rest of the paper is so strong. End strong!

4: your use of images is great! i like the parallels between the US and Mozambique. Each pair has a distinct purpose and point it is posing to the reader.

this is a great point! really sets up your intentions and what the reader should be looking for. propaganda is always biased and in turn becomes malicious.

1: I'm understanding the audience to be American students that attended public school and have knowledge of American history and world history, so possibly a college student majoring in such a topic. Not sure if this is right so maybe add a little more context as to who you are speaking to.

1: the audience must also understand what goes into character design and environmental design, and what differentiates the two.

4: Great use of the side by side images. I love that each pair of photos (usc v. game) share similar architectural aesthetics. such a useful visual to support your main point.

4: I love the first image because it sets up the paper perfectly. Right when i looked at the picture i noticed that the architectural was spookily similar to the Kaufman School of Dance at USC. Literally the USC environment and the game environment meshing into one, a representation of the theme you then explain to the reader. amazing!

1: The audience is clearly students in the usc games program, and, in turn, are expected to have prior knowledge of video games.

3: The idea that architecture can have an emotional effect on people even seems basic but i have never thought about how different architectural style made me feel until now, especially in a virtual setting. These artistic decisions hold so much weight.

3: The most interesting point made in the essay. The basis of the paper, comparing the environment of USC and video games is so interesting. i was shocked when i read this sentence because i never would have thought to put these two topics together. SUCH a cool comparison!