blank space too much? but I'm not a native speaker so maybe it's supposed to be this way ;)

@Kieren Britton Regarding the whole medication topic: I’m not sure because there might be a cultural difference here but maybe @Cat Mags knows more about this?? In Germany it’s pretty much always a combination of medication and therapy. Especially for anxiety and depression the first way to go would be to offer the right kind and amount of medication but also offer therapy on a very regular basis, so not just to adjust and monitor the meds but also to do therapy. In Germany it would be behavioral/cognitive therapy which leads to very good results especially for depression and anxiety best outcome is mostly the combination of both sometimes the illness has progressed so far that in a first step it’s essential to give meds in order to rebuild basic functionality for example sometimes depression can get so bad, that people can’t get out of bed there is no point in trying to do behavioral/cognitive therapy with a person who is that sick and that depressed So in Germany the standard is meds and therapy for illnesses like anxiety or depression, so if the text would be for Germany I would stress a little bit more that a combination is essential but I don’t know if this maybe differs from the standard approach in north America?!!

@Kieren Britton This is an extremely important point you can even stress this more in my opinion: a lot of people are so worried and afraid of being stigmatized with mental illness, that something is “wrong” with them or that they are “crazy” etc - they refuse to seek help or see a doctor or whatever but so many times when they finally see a professional and they realize that there is actually a name for the way they feel, that there are other people who feel exactly the same way and that there is an actual diagnosis for this coming along with a treatment plan they just feel relieved

@Kieren Britton What’s also important to know is that symptoms of depression for men often show up in a very different way than for women. Often depression symptoms for men are more externalizing like anger, substance abuse, self-destructive behavior etc. The typical symptoms we use nowadays to diagnose depression are very typical for women but not necessarily for men…

@Kieren Britton Hi Lindsay,

First of all thank you so much for sharing your deepest feelings and your personal story with all the ladies. It takes a big amount of courage to take the own painful story and open up to the world in order to enable other people to seek help and make them realize that they are not alone. So thank you very much for this great chapter.

I just have some tiny suggestions you can add or not it’s nothing crucial more some additional facts if you need any ;)

Lots of love from Germany, Patricia

I think links to the freebies are not working

for that task am I supposed to look at those 10 desires throughout the day or just keep it with me? should I keep the paper in a box or something like that?

@ Kieren Britton that part was already mentioned the chapter before

@Kieren Britton Hi Kieren,

thank you so much for this lovely chapter and those very personal insights. I’m sure this very personal chapter will help a lot of ladies out there!!

I really like how you structured it and that it evens has like this little scientific part, really cool.

From my point of view it is a very broad topic and you could probably write a whole book about this ;)

If you like you could also add a little paragraph about the underlying model of how our beliefs and feelings are linked to each other and why I feel a certain why after a certain situation. Often people think that they “have to” feel a certain way and can’t do anything about it and forget that there is actually a step in between: our beliefs that actually make us feel a certain way. A nice example is the ABC-model

A= “Activated event”: for example someone at work yells at me “you are not doing a good job, you are lazy whatever” B= “Beliefs”: I am not a good person, I am not capable of anything etc / My colleague is absolutely right etc. C= “Consequences”: I feel sad, ashamed, not worthy etc.

My underlying beliefs about myself for example are the reason why I end up feeling sad or ashamed or whatever – by working towards positive beliefs especially related the me as a person I can break those patterns.

I really like your little tips and tricks for example with the post its – tip: for stuff like it’s also important to phrase those sentences in the right way, for example:

• Write in the present I am / don’t use I will or I was
• Do not use the word “not”: our brain actually can’t process it so if for example you write down: I will not cry today our brain just processes I will cry today ;) better use something like: I am a strong and resilient woman !

Lots of love from Germany,

Patricia

@Kieren Britton

Hi Ashlyn,

thank you so much for this chapter, I love it. I think it’s a really nice and an easy to read introduction about mindfulness and its benefits.

I feel especially in the beginning it can be hard to start being mindful and your tips and tricks will really help the ladies to get started.

You can even stress a little bit more in my opinion that being mindful really builds up on practicing and in the beginning it can feel quite odd. But even one mindful breath a day is a step in the right direction.

You can also stress that you can literally do anything being mindful like eating a meal or walking on the road etc.

I also like to combine being mindful with my different senses for example one day I do an exercise in which I focus on my visual sense, what do I see, what are colors/patterns/shapes etc – next day I focus on my hearing: what do I hear, what are different sounds, how do they distinguish from another etc. / this also works for the sense of smell for example sometimes I really stress about cooking and then I try to just become aware of different smells in the kitchen etc.

I absolutely loved the part about being positive and being grateful for certain parts in our life. A nice tip for this is also to have a little journal and right down your three positive aspects of the day, every day you go to bed for example.

Thank you for sharing your insights,

Love from Germany,

Patricia

@kieren britton

Hi ladies,

nice chapter about social media usage and super important nowadays, I have some further facts if you want to add any of that:

1. Anxiety and depression
2. Use of social media can enhance anxiety and depression
3. Compare and despair attitude: pictures from people on holidays, enjoying adventures, heavily photo-shopped pictures etc (compared to the own “normal” life) – this evokes unrealistic expectations with feelings of low self-consciousness & self-esteem or perfectionism
4. Studies show that an increased use of social media is linked to increased odds of depression (example: . Lin, L. y., Sidani, J. E., Shensa, A., Radovic, A., Miller, E., Colditz, J. B., Hoffman, B. L., Giles, L. M. and Primack, B. A. (2016), ASSOCIATION BETWEEN SOCIAL MEDIA USE AND DEPRESSION AMONG U.S. YOUNG ADULTS. Depress Anxiety, 33: 323–331. doi:10.1002/da.22466
5. Some researchers even talk about things like “Facebook depression” when dealing with the social media and online world like facebook triggers depression (source American Academy of Pediatrics. 2017. Clinical report – The impact of social media on children, adolescents and families. [Accessed Apr 17] Available from: http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/pediatrics/127/4/800.full.pdf)

1. Sleep

2. Another area negatively affected by social media can be sleep

3. Sleep is very tightly linked to mental health and it’s very important for us in order to function properly and being able to cope with everyday life
4. Studies show that increased social media use can lead to poor sleep quality especially for young people (source: Scott, H. Gardani, M. Biello, S. Woods, H. 2016. Social media use, fear of missing out and sleep outcomes in adolescents. [Accessed Apr 17] Available from: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/308903222_Social_media_use_fear_of_missing_out_ and_sleep_outcomes_in_adolescence)
5. Even more critical than using social media during the day is the usage of social media at night / right before bedtime – the blue LED light blocks the release of the sleep hormone, melatonin – which makes it harder to fall asleep and stay asleep
6. 1/5 young people state to wake up during the night to check social media (source: Power, S. Taylor, C. Horton, K. 2017. Sleepless in school? The social dimensions of young people’s bedtime rest and routines. Journal of Youth Studies. [Accessed Apr 17] Available from: http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13676261.2016.12735 22)

Possible positive aspects about social media usage:

1. Access to other people’s health experiences and expert health information
2. Emotional support and community building
3. Self-expression and self-identity
4. Making, maintaining and building upon relationships

@KierenBritton

Hi Abiola,

thank you so much for this lovely chapter, I really enjoyed reading it. From my side I honestly don't have anything to add or change, it's also not really my field of expertise and you definitely know what you are talking about so there is nothing from my side except that it was a lovely chapter and felt very inspiring to me.

Just one technical issue, I wasn't able to see the videos there was always an error !!

Love from Germany, Patricia

@KierenBritton

Hi Megan,

thank you so much for creating this chapter for the community and sharing your personal story and your personal thoughts and feelings. I think it’s very brave to take the own story and share it with other women in order to empower and enable them to stand up for themselves. I definitely don’t want to intrude your personal story in any way, I’m just gonna give some additional information from an psychological point of view and then you can decided if you would like to include any of those thoughts into your chapter. I hope this approach is ok with you :) I’m also not a native speaker, so I’m already very sorry for and kind of odd phrasings :)

Resilience from an psychological point of view is the process of adapting well facing any kind of stress like trauma, tragedy, threats etc. – it’s basically bouncing back from difficult experiences.

Resilience is a very dynamic construct which underlies a constant process of adjustment and development. It is also not a fixed trait people either have or not have but it can actually be learned (like you already said, it’s a very hard and long way to improve your own resilience but it’s doable). Being resilient involves different behaviors, thoughts and actions.

There are different factors that can contribute to a good resilience. Following there are a few examples of those factors as well as possible mindsets:

• Acceptance: “It is what it is” –accept challenges and changes as a part of your own live and trust your own skills that you are capable of overcoming those challenges, use crises as a chance for reorientation and self-development
• Optimism: “it will get better at some point” – every challenging situation in live has positive and negative aspects, make yourself aware of the positive aspects of the situation and try to focus on those
• Solution-oriented approach: “tackle the challenge, spring into action” – focus on the possible solutions for the problem and develop concrete options for action
• Self-responsibility: “care for yourself” – feel confident that you can influence and create a situation yourself, take responsibility for yourself and use your scope for action
• Self-efficacy: “achieve something through your own strength” – be confident that you have enough competencies, skills, strengths and ressources to overcome difficult situations
• Social network: “care for appreciative relationships” – a strong network of family, friends, colleagues etc is a substantial resource during stressful and difficult times – look after your social network and accept help and support
• Mindfulness: “single-tasking instead of multi-tasking” – be mindful, stop for a moment and be aware of the actual moment. This interrupts the stimulus-response pattern of your everyday life and enables you to relax and consciously manage through your life

One additional point I would like to mention refers to the part with the dissociation: here I would be a little bit careful, dissociation is a very intense reaction of our body and mind to cope with extremely painful and stressful situations like trauma. In this very moment it is of course a coping mechanism of your ingenious mind and body to overcome this extrem situation and to be able to deal with the unbearable pain. Nevertheless the dissociation itself it just a short-term solution of our body and mind to overcome the situation but it’s not a long-term, functional strategy to deal with pain/stress etc, it’s more a act from necessity. It’s basically not a underlying protective factor, whereas resilience mostly reflects different underlying factors like self-responsibility or self-efficacy that enable a human to deal with stress etc. and protect us from developing maladaptive behavior because of the stressful circumstances. Is that somehow understandable? :) I would just try to avoid that people think dissociation is something they should proactively encourage in order to establish resilience…

All the best and lots of love from Germany, Patricia

@Kierenbritton test test