In our society, we seem to worship talent — and we often portray it as a gift. Now we can see that this is not motivating to our students. Those who think they have this gift expect to sit there with it and be successful. When they aren't successful, they get defensive and demoralized, and often opt out

The teachers, who didn't even know there were two different groups, singled out students in the growth-mindset group as showing clear changes in their motivation.

. Those with growth mindsets reported that, after a setback in school, they would simply study more or study differently the next time. But those with fixed mindsets were more likely to say that they would feel dumb, study less the next time, and seriously consider cheating. If you feel dumb — permanently dumb — in an academic area, there is no good way to bounce back and be successful in the future.

Approach with awe. C.S. Lewis once wrote that if you’d never met a human and suddenly encountered one, you’d be inclinedto worship this creature. Every human being is a miracle, and your superior in some way. The people who have greatconversations walk into the room expecting to be delighted by you and make you feel the beam of their affection and respect.

ind the disagreement under the disagreement. In the Talmudic tradition when two people disagree about something, it’sbecause there is some deeper philosophical or moral disagreement undergirding it.

Don’t fear the pause. Most of us stop listening to a comment about halfway through so we can be ready with a response. InJapan, Murphy writes, businesspeople are more likely to hear the whole comment and then pause, sometimes eight seconds,before responding, which is twice as long a silence as American businesspeople conventionally tolerate