8 Matching Annotations
  1. Dec 2018
  2. haoranqin.wordpress.com haoranqin.wordpress.com
    Newly Revised Piece
    3
    1. qinhc 17 Dec 2018
      In the essay “The Mother of All Questions,” what I found fascinating about this passage is the title. I am amazed by how the title closely connects to the central point of the passage and ideas that build up to it.

      This piece is a response paper for Rebecca Solnit's essay "The Mother of All Questions." The goal is to explain my response to Solnit’s ideas and to connect that response to at least one specific moment in the text. I chose to work on it further because the first draft of this essay didn't feel complete, in my opinion. It can be revised to reflect on my growth this semester as a writer.

    2. qinhc 17 Dec 2018
      She wants to inspire the whole population who has followed other people’s storyline to think about what they want for their lives because they are the one who is going to live their lives. This is also why I think it is called The Mother of All Questions. It’s about all the population, and it’s a question about life that may takes us a lifelong time to figure out.

      In the draft before, I conclude this paragraph by restating what I said in my previous body paragraphs. I was not connecting the conclusion to something new, and I found that it is pretty boring for readers to read the ideas I stated over and over again. Revising this short essay, I was able to approach her essay from another perspective and zoom out into a larger scale. This is one thing I learned from this course which is to conclude in a new way. It can be relating to new ideas and approaching from another angle.

    3. qinhc 17 Dec 2018
      The paragraph makes me realize the idea that don’t be afraid to change and break the stereotype because the happiness comes with the old recipe might not be the happiness we are searching. The idea of “question” also reminds me of what I had learned in my Courage to Know class that we all should choose our own ways and what life means to us instead of blindly following the “tradition” and doing things that “seemed right.”

      Before I revise this paragraph, I only wrote what Solnit said in her essay "The Mother of All Questions." I was summarizing Solnit's ideas. However, the purpose of this short essay is to respond to Solnit's essay, not summarizing. I realized this problem. Then, I added my response to Solnit's ideas, and comment and analyze Solnit's idea of not following the others' paths. One thing I learned from this class is to write my response and opinion, which will be very helpful for my writing in the future.

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  3. haoranqin.wordpress.com haoranqin.wordpress.com
    On Finding Our True Selves
    5
    1. qinhc 17 Dec 2018
      The Examen not only introspects ourselves for who we are but also could form new insights and realizations. I interviewed Jasper who was one participant at the examen.

      When I wrote this paragraph in the first draft, I was guided by the source. The main focus of the paragraph is not one of my main ideas. The focus of the paragraph used to be Jasper's experience. However, Mr. Z noticed me that it is not a good idea to be guided by resources, and I agree on it. Therefore, I reorganize the structure of the paragraph and the structure of the whole essay to make sure that I used my interview with both John and Jasper to support my points and opinions because this can make my writing more organized. This is one valuable lesson I learn in this class.

    2. qinhc 17 Dec 2018
      That implies that, sometimes, we reflect on our true selves and express our most true feelings with all the lights off not because the light has some magical power, but because we might think that the darkness can keep us from being seen by others and gives us a feeling of safety where we can focus on nothing but ourselves.

      In my first draft, I usually only have description and facts written in the paragraph. Mr. Z noticed this problem and gave me some suggestions to add a little more of my response to the essay. In this case, I gave my analysis and understanding of why the darkness might be a perfect condition for people to reflect. I learned from this class that I am encouraged to talk about my feelings and understandings to the context I read in my essay. I can also write the part confuses me and give a reason why the context confuses me. In this way, my essay could be more insightful.

    3. qinhc 17 Dec 2018
      Turning all the lights off, the leader delivered the first question: “When have you felt good and most like yourself?” The room was silent as everyone closed their eyes, leaned back on their couches, and reflected on their past weeks. After approximately one minute, the leader asked the second question: “Are you living true to yourself now?” Still, no one talked. It was quiet enough that I could even hear the breath of the person next to me. The third question was asked after another minute; “Where could you be better this week? Resolve to be better with it tomorrow.” As all the questions were asked, the activity ended at a slow and relaxing pace. Then everyone stood up, shook the leader’s hand, thanked him, and walked out of the house.

      When I wrote the first draft, I did not have any specific details. I only said what the Jesuit Examen is and why do we do the Examen. Mr. Z then gave some feedbacks to add more specific details and examples. In this paragraph, I described what the questions are and how the questions were asked. This is another thing I learned from the First-Year Writing Seminar which is to provide details and examples to explain my ideas. This can provide more context for the readers and avoid any confusion caused to readers.

    4. qinhc 17 Dec 2018
      It was 9:45 on Wednesday night, and I went across College Road to attend the weekly examen. The street was dark and silent except for the chirping of crickets in the bushes next to the house. The exterior of the house was no different from the others, but it was the only one with the lights on. After I entered the house, greeting people that I hadn’t met before, I picked a seat at the corner of the room so that I could have a perfect view of observing people. The room was relatively small. It seemed crowded, but the room was surprisingly large enough for everyone to have their own personal space. There was only one yellowish light at the ceiling, making the room seem a little blurry. There were couches, and chairs laying against the wall, forming a square, so all people could hear the questions well enough. When people had sat down and were ready, the activity started.

      In my first draft, I started the essay by describing what Jesuit Examen is and the function of it. This is the format I used throughout my high school. However, Mr. Z commented on it, saying that it is a more compelling way to start by describing what was happening without mentioning what activity it was. I learned from this class that I do not need to follow the traditional intro-body paragraphs structure. Instead, I can write the essay without mentioning my thesis. I found that quite useful because it successfully catches reader's attention and their desire to continue reading.

    5. qinhc 17 Dec 2018
      However, most students at BC are not familiar with the Examen. As technology advances and plays a bigger role in our modern day life, students are increasingly more obsessed with media and phones. They are always experiencing the fast-paced lifestyle, and sometimes anxiety and pressure from social media. They rarely pay attention to little things around them and don’t usually take a break and clear their minds to reflect. People don’t have the opportunity and time to reflect on themselves because they are so obsessed with the world around them and the superficial things that they hardly ever confront themselves. Although the Examen seems to challenge the status quo because the Examen is not explored by people in society, I still believe that the Examen can help us find our true selves and should be encouraged.

      When I was in high school in California, I was taught to conclude the essay in a way to summarizes all the main ideas I wrote about in body paragraphs. However, another lesson I learn from this class is to conclude the essay in a new way. I can make a new connection on the main idea; I can show how the main idea relates to readers and myself; I can put the main idea into a broader context; I can emerge a question from my thinking about the main idea. In this essay, I connect the idea of reflection to a larger picture of students nowadays and society. This connection can make the readers see the whole essay from another approach.

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