1. 911 audio — April 7, 2023 OU swatting case Your browser does not support the audio element. Courtesy of Norman Police Department
Let's remember this next time we get some audio worth sharing with audience.
1. 911 audio — April 7, 2023 OU swatting case Your browser does not support the audio element. Courtesy of Norman Police Department
Let's remember this next time we get some audio worth sharing with audience.
T
Good lead in general, and to stand apart from what others did.
Colton Sulley, assistant sports editor
Good beyond the podium sourcing.
After snapping a four-game losing streak, the Sooners are looking for a late-February win streak to springboard back into the NCAA Tournament conversation.
could cut
are looking for
need
guard
cut
is hoping
hopes
While Oweh’s future is bright.
cut
, which is his long-term idea of culture
as part of the culture he's trying to build
is hoping
hopes
,
cut
B
space
trajectory is trending towards being
could be
e
i
full
cut
film
video.
we haven't had film since...
Oweh has been instructed by Moser
Turn around, make active
Oweh not only seems to be a big part of OU’s (13-13, 3-10 Big 12) future plans, but he’ll also be focal
OU (records) will need all that and more from Oweh
e
all year
being inserted into the lineup
cut
is
must be
has a vision for Oklahoma’s future and he
cut
n
OU's
OU basketball's
cut; move to seo hed
T
Think a different tact could be more effective here.
Who will be OU's opening day starter Friday remains an open question a year after the rotation that lead the Sooners to last year's College World Series championship final was selected in the MLB draft.
”
Notes on editor/copy editor?
at
cut
Cowley County Junior College transfer
move to after "72 RBIs last season at"
ahead of this season.He
and
that
cut
one
a
received his diploma
graduated
he needs to do for his team.
his team needs.
of the offseason
cut
l
p
C
St. Louis
a
o
.
Recraft this...
Johnson also touted two newcomers who'll come out of the bullpen depending on matchups.
but one can expect
and he expects
the
cut
roles
cut
d
d of Davis.
Johnson thinks Davis’ passion for pitching makes him a weapon.
cut
.
cut
night
cut
iest
y
Johnson said
his background is as a pitching specialist, right? Tuck that in here.
Oklahoma
the Sooners
W
.
the
OU's
”
Tell us: How is the honoree selected and by?
. At the Creative Media Marketplace
, at which
The Life and Times of
could cut
broadcasted
aired for
Sharron Miller
Don't think she's a well-enough known person to be in lead.
Wonder about opening with:
The Gaylord College of Journalism and Mass Communication recognized an Oklahoma native who has opened doors for women in media with a lifetime achievement award (xxx)day.
first
move that bit into lead
Lumine Lifetime Achievement Award
link it here, rather than on college name
Olivia Lauter/OU Daily
Thanks for getting there
next week
cut
P
lowercase unless w/ name
quarantine
isolation.
As a Latinx ally of the Black community,
Phrases like this might not have appeared in the Daily just a few years ago. Your commitment to covering all our community, with care and nuance and thoughtful word choice and usage is noticed and appreciated.
“
Good use of quality, meaningful quotes throughout this piece. Did a nice job asking strong, open-ended questions to get such answers.
a large pool of participants, with
cut
next Friday
again, that note up top will help this quote still read OK later.
are feeling
feel
OU alumnus Carlos Rubio
Really good sourcing with these first two people you got! These are known-names that command respect with our readers.
.
one more detail: let us know about how old she was then.
r
give an approx # to make the historic magnitude clear. suspect there are still some readers who grew up without ever being taught about this.
Black
Kudos to you all for changing our style last week; AP did the same today.
put people in
look for stronger verbs. here maybe something like
forced much of the nation into isolation. (remember, quarantine is technically when you're sick; isolation or social distancing is in attempting to not get sick)
.
Could see going back into a piece like this, after Trump changed the date, and adding a note that explains the shift but that this event would continue unchanged.
OU alumni to attend Juneteenth celebration during Trump rally in Tulsa
I admire our thought process and deliberation in the past week on whether or how to cover the broader Trump visit. We've grappled with news value, what the OU angles are and -- above all -- our staff's safety amid a spike in COVID.
I commend you all in taking those conversations so seriously, and coming to the solutions you did to find the OU angles, safely.
2
Maybe a tighter crop on right edge to isolate on family. Also, maybe to better show the photo of the sailor -- Curtis' father -- on the left side.
1
Nice job, Kathryn, getting good shots and turning the gallery so quickly.
Oklahoma has rarely found itself in the vanguard of antipoverty thinking, but the class to which the two women were heading embodies a vigorous new idea—something known locally, and archly, as “the marriage cure.” Traditionally, singleness has been viewed as a symptom of poverty. Today, however, a politically heterodox cadre of academics is arguing that singleness—and, particularly, single parenthood—is one of poverty’s primary causes, for which matrimony might be a plausible tonic. For the past few years, the state of Oklahoma has been converting this premise into policy. In an initiative praised by the Bush Administration, which aims to seed marriage-promotion programs nationwide, the state has deputized public-relations firms, community leaders, and preachers (among them the pastor at Holy Temple Baptist Church) to take matrimony’s benefits to the people. Last summer, that marriage drive reached Sooner Haven. “Come learn about relationships!” said the recruiter who knocked on the housing project’s beat-up doors.
Confirmation of trend
ne July morning last year in Oklahoma City, in a public-housing project named Sooner Haven, twenty-two-year-old Kim Henderson pulled a pair of low-rider jeans over a high-rising gold lamé thong and declared herself ready for church.
That... lede...
Perhaps best of all, from Fizzle’s perspective, anyway, he would become a breeding rooster. Life in the country, it seems, has its upside.
Great ending.
Turning them into dinner does not seem to be popular, sustainability benefits aside. In
Exploring options
So the question becomes: How to get rid of them?
Exploring unintended consequence of trend.
where a tour highlighting the best in backyard avian architecture—think coops with eco-roofs and heated floors—attracted more than 600 people last year)
Possible inspiration of story idea?
Questions of sustainability and food provenance and, to a lesser extent, fears about economic instability have motivated folks in more and more cities—places like Ann Arbor, Michigan, and Fort Collins, Colorado—to install chicken coops in their backyards, in the hope of reaping fresh eggs, free fertilizer, and organic pest control. Of course, introducing all these chickens into cities has had unanticipated consequences, flashes of red tooth and claw that interrupt bucolic fantasy: family pets gobbling up chickens; chickens gobbling up lead-based paint chips. But all this is nothing compared to the mysteries of chicken sexing.
Confirmation of trend graf
Time was running out for Fizzle the rooster.
Hard not to read that lede
On June 9, just before noon, a group of young men entered the Foot Locker in Bushwick. A different manager, Jay Barns, 20, greeted them, and they asked him to bring out several pairs of shoes to try on. “Ten or 15 people,” he said. He was suspicious and told them he didn’t have those sizes.
Probably from police logs.
The one-shoe policy.
What is
Once upon a time, stealing a pair of sneakers was a play in two acts: 1) try on sneakers, and then 2) run away.
What was... (to juxtapose against what is)
How did it come to this? The Bushwick thieves cannot even claim to have invented the scheme; accounts of similar thefts have turned up as far away as Denmark and Sweden. For a complete history of the sneaker, one need only visit the nearby Brooklyn Museum, where the exhibit “The Rise of Sneaker Culture” opened Friday. But the clerks of Bushwick tell of more recent patterns in their stores.
Confirmation of trend graf
She scrolls, she waits. For that little notification box to appear.
Strong kicker.
On the morning of her 14th birthday, Katherine wakes up to an alarm ringing on her phone. It’s 6:30 a.m. She rolls over and shuts it off in the dark.
Section break -- birthday
Her scooter sat in the garage, covered in dust. Her stuffed animals were passed down to Lila. The wooden playground in the back yard stood empty. She kept her skateboard with neon yellow wheels, because riding it is still cool to her friends.
Showing with details
Her feet are kicked up onto a coffee table, and her mom’s old MacBook is on her stomach. She’s working on her capstone project, a 12-page essay and presentation on a topic of her choice. At the beginning of the year, she chose “Photoshop and the media,” an examination of how women are portrayed in magazines.
Forcing rapid maturity, body image issues.
One afternoon, Katherine accidentally leaves her phone in her dad’s car. She shouldn’t need it while she does her homework, but she reaches for it, momentarily forgetting it’s not next to her on the U-shaped couch.
Section break
“It kind of, almost, promotes you as a good person. If someone says, ‘tbh you’re nice and pretty,’ that kind of, like, validates you in the comments. Then people can look at it and say ‘Oh, she’s nice and pretty.’ ”
Section: Self-worth dynamics
He clicks on the car’s satellite radio and changes the channel from “60s on 6” to “Hits 1,” the station he thinks Katherine and Lila like. It’s playing Justin Bieber. He pulls out of the driveway and glances over at the passenger seat. Katherine is looking out the window, headphones on.
Section ending with a hammer. Most powerful line, to me.
Nothing her dad could find on her phone shows that for as good as Katherine is at math, basketball and singing, she wants to get better at her phone. To be one of the girls who knows what to post, how to caption it, when to like, what to comment.
All indicators of success, and this.
He says that a lot. He’s a 56-year-old corporate lawyer who doesn’t know how to upload photos to his Facebook page. When he was 13, he lived only two miles away. He didn’t have a cellphone, of course, and home phones were reserved for adults. When he wanted to talk to his friends, he rode his bike to their houses. His parents expected him to play outside all day and be back by dinnertime.
Then/now contrast
Lila can’t find her tap shoes, Rachel is sick, the dogs are waiting for breakfast, and Katherine is heading straight to the garage.
Section break: Parental struggles
on a cloudy Thursday in March
show, not tell.
The breast cancer appeared right after Katherine was born. It went away, then came back when Katherine was in third grade. In fifth grade, Alicia and Dave bought Katherine a cellphone, in case things took a turn. She was one of the first in her class to own one.
dramatic tension -- mom not there to help with this.
“It kind of, almost, promotes you as a good person. If someone says, ‘tbh you’re nice and pretty,’ that kind of like, validates you in the comments. Then people can look at it and say ‘Oh, she’s nice and pretty.’”
section breaks
ignores
detail
Right now, Katherine is still looking down.
Pacing/juxtaposition
Somewhere, maybe at this very moment, neurologists are trying to figure out what all this screen time is doing to the still-forming brains of people Katherine’s age, members of what’s known as Generation Z. Educators are trying to teach them that not all answers are Googleable. Counselors are prying them out of Internet addictions. Parents are trying to catch up by friending their kids on Facebook. (P.S. Facebook is obsolete.) Sociologists, advertisers, stock market analysts – everyone wants to know what happens when the generation born glued to screens has to look up and interact with the world.
Experts/data (confirmation of trend)
She’s on it while her 8-year-old sister, Lila, is building crafts out of beads.
contrast
She doesn’t respond, her thumb on Instagram. A Barbara Walters meme is on the screen. She scrolls, and another meme appears. Then another meme, and she closes the app. She opens BuzzFeed. There’s a story about Florida Gov. Rick Scott, which she scrolls past to get to a story about Janet Jackson, then “28 Things You’ll Understand If You’re Both British and American.” She closes it. She opens Instagram. She opens the NBA app. She shuts the screen off. She turns it back on. She opens Spotify. Opens Fitbit. She has 7,427 steps. Opens Instagram again. Opens Snapchat. She watches a sparkly rainbow flow from her friend’s mouth. She watches a YouTube star make pouty faces at the camera. She watches a tutorial on nail art. She feels the bump of the driveway and looks up. They’re home. Twelve minutes have passed.
Pacing