Same feedback as the Atelier. In addition,

• The job title and "self-employed" sound inconsistent. Consider a more powerful title. I'd get rid of the self-employed tag. It's got a bit of a bad reputation on LI
• The company description needs to add some points of differentiation. Currently it doesn't impress.

This is the syntax for a run-of-the-mill job. Consider adding "Serial Entrepreneur" or similar words. E.g. Founder & Director at Atelier Wealth | Early-Stage Startups | Growth Hacker.

This is just representative. Quite sure you get the point.

I'm not sure about generally accepted LI best practices but this is too wordy and seems to be copied from a CV. Consider merging points and adding only the highlights. And also using a consistent syntax across points.

A glance at this section should convince the reader that he's a high-performer, so we need to showcase achievements and add a few buzzwords.

Below this there should be sections for volunteer work and LI courses. Both should be populated. For courses, he can pick up short free ones and for volunteer work, possibly embellish the truth a little if needed.

Remove.

If this is his firm, can he mention founder and director or some such? Also, there's merit in setting up the company page properly to add credibility.

Add his work email.

This section needs to be populated.

Let's get this to 100+. Have him send invites to everyone he knows from the suggestions that pop up.

Get rid of this one.

Write MBA for the first one, and add some details in both. Extra-curricular activities, positions of responsibility.

This would've been irrelevant but being his only large corporate experience, needs some refinement. The points can use some stats and achievements rather than sounding like a JD.

All points from the first two firms apply here.

This doesn't sound confident. Something like, "Atelier excels at..." or "Atelier ensures...".

"smooth investment and liquidation"

Need to fill in the summary section with highlights across roles. Check my profile for reference, not that that's a great case study.

Higher resolution image needed. Otherwise this is perfect.