27 Matching Annotations
  1. Apr 2017
    1. The Effects of the Built Environment on Child Friendliness and Obesity: Analysis on Auburn Ave

      Charmaine's claim isnt clear at this very moment but she provides alot of background information on her location that I didnt knw about. If she specifically points out her claim them this analysis would be good.

    1. Conclusion

      Claim: By investing in communities through new businesses and innovations, the population demographic may experience a drastic change from low income residents to high income residents. This then leads to other benefits such as a lower crime rate.

      Evidence: The author uses a chart to display the distribution of income when looking at ages in the Ponce de Leon area (secondary source).

      Overall, I really enjoyed reading your BEA. I felt that it was professionally crafted with the rhetorical situation kept in mind. One addition I would suggest would be looking also at the negative aspects of of gentrification, such as the displacement of residents that resided in the area before the process of gentrification began. By doing this, it would add to your credibility by recognizing and arguing the opposing position.

      GREAT JOB!!!!!

    1. Description of Ponce City Market

      Like the last page, the current description of Ponce City Market provides strong evidence for the claim of how gentrification can improve an area in various ways. Be sure to actually state your ideas to reinforce your ideas. Think about once again addressing the questions as well.

      The pictures may also need to be cited if not personally captured.

    1. Description of Krog Street Market

      Claim: The introduction claim needs to be incorporated into this description, because it directly provides evidence for such ideas.

      Evidence: By using a highly detailed description as well as pictures, it's clear that the Krog Street Market has experienced obvious improvements. Use the questions suggested at the beginning to further emphasis how much the area has improved for the better!

    1. Demographics of Ponce de Leon Area

      Claim: Like previous pages, the claim was not explicitly stated, but the information implied a change in population over the years.

      Evidence: The chart was utilized in this case form outside sources cited both at the bottom of the page as well as within the conclusion. As I previously mentioned, I would include more about income, education, and business statistics, because I feel that this would relate better to your claim in the introduction.

    1. Demographics of Krog Street Area

      Once again, this is great evidence for your claim in the introduction.

      Claim: Your introduction claim of gentrification could really be used here to drive the point home. (The claim was implied but not stated.)

      Evidence: For evidence, secondary sources were utilized to describe the changing demographic. I would suggest to discuss in further detail the categories of income and business. These categories would provide a great deal of validity to your claim, should you include it.


    1.  (“725 Ponce” 2015)

      I would personally consider putting the full citation at the bottom of each page. I feel that this would be more helpful and easier to access for your audience.

    2. History of Ponce City Market

      Wow! This is great information. You did a great job constructing the history of Ponce in a way that is easy for the reader to understand and enjoy. I also really like the vintage pictures!

      Claim: Like the previous section on the history of Krog Street Market, there is no claim physically present in this paragraph. To me, it is easily understood to be in support of the introduction claim, but you may want to explicitly state how Ponce City Market relates to the claim for the purposes of the project.

      Evidence: The evidence is taken from secondary source cited both at the bottom of the page and the conclusion. Once again, I would consider addressing the questions I suggested in the previous annotation as a way to address the claim implied.

    1. History of Krog Street Market

      I really enjoyed reading the history of this particular location. Surprisingly, I actually remember when this property was purchased and the media attention that followed on the local news channels.

      Claim: There wasn't a claim explicitly stated in this paragraph but the claim in the introduction was obviously implied.

      Evidence: This paragraph mainly consisted of second hand information sited in the conclusion. I personally believe that learning about the history of the market and the surrounding area adds to your authenticity and credibility.

      It maybe helpful to restate the claim and provide further evidence such as what the area looked like before versus years after the purchase. Was it run down? Also relating back to the introduction what were the crime rates before and after at this location? What was the local economy like before the recent innovations? Overall, I feel that this is a strong paragraph that could be improved through relating more to the claims in the introduction.

    1. Introduction

      I really enjoyed your introduction. I feel that discussing what a built environment is and how it came about improves the readability for your audience. Further, your introduction highlights your claims about gentrification in Atlanta! I'm excited to continue reading!

      Claim: When lower income neighborhoods experience gentrification, the population demographic undergoes drastic change (i.e. higher incomes). In turn, this may lead to positive benefits for the economy as well as the safety and happiness of residents.

      Evidence: There is no evidence in this specific paragraph, but I assume that the other pages on Ponce City Market and Krog Street Market will act as examples. Maybe give a brief introduction of both in order to provide evidence in this paragraph.

    1. Thesis: The rhetoric of the built environment of Atlanta shows that racial discrimination, white flight, car dominated transportation network, and segregation by race and class have caused Atlanta to have the highest income inequality ratio in the country, and the same factors that led to severe income inequality in Atlanta are perpetuating the problem today.

      The author makes the claim that Atlanta has a preeminent car based transporation system and that race, class, and racial discrimination has been a determinant in income inequality in Atlanta, stating it to be the highest in the country. Providing data or a referenced source would help to give clarity to Atlanta's ratio compared to all other countries in the U.S.

      The authors' thesis is very thought-provoking and descriptive, but can be broken up into two-three sentences.

    2. Built Environment Analysis (DRAFT)

      Overall, the author does a great job in providing claims and arguments, but the draft in totality is not complete and needs the inclusion of citations from sources and data, graphs, etc. to provide evidence for the claims that are being made and also for general reference when mentioning ratios and numbers. Also, the author did not incorporate multiple modes of presentation. To meet the requirement, the authour should provide photographs, videos, charts, etc. which will also help to give stated claims and arguments a varied perspective.

    3. As a result of a long history of white flight and racial discrimination, Atlanta’s transportation network is predominately designed for travel by car. Consistent public transportation is present downtown and in the immediately surrounding areas. Evidence:

      This section makes the claim that Atlanta has an intentional, leading car based transportation system and that it has a connection to past racial segregation.

    4. Cost of living map and MARTA map side by side

      Listed here seems to be a description of two photographs that are to be compared, however there are no photograpghs posted to compare anything. The author should provide those images for reference and comparison as well as a description on what is being compared and why.

    5. The neighborhood one grows up in has been shown to impact their chances for upward economic mobility, therefore gentrification and neighborhoods segregated by class perpetuate income inequality.

      The author makes the claim that the neighborhood of ones upbringing has a direct correlation to their future rank in the economic sphere of the world. Examples on how this statement may be accurate should be provided in this area.

    6. The Fading American Dream: Trends in Absolute Income Mobility Since 1940” by Raj Chetty and Nathaniel Hendren “All Cities Are Not Created Unequal” by Alan Berube

      The author provides a list of evidence based sources, but does not provide key details in how the sources benefit the claim. Author needs to provide citations and references from sources to support the claim that is being made

    7. history of white flight

      Listed here is a term that was unfamilar and provided research shows that there is a book entitled by this name White Flight by Kevin M. Kruse: http://press.princeton.edu/titles/8043.html

      Author could provide a brief description of the term because it will enhance this specific claim amd also include the link to the book's overview and how it possibly relates to the claim.

    8. While there is some public transportation for people living further away from the center of the city, the current accommodations are insufficient for people without cars.

      The author makes the claim that exisitng public transportation does not benefit persons without a vehicle, but acknowledges its benefits to persons that are located in somewhat distant locations from Atlanta.

    9. The trend of Atlanta’s middle and upper classes moving out to the suburbs is shifting, and these groups are beginning to move back into the city. Therefore, neighborhoods are being gentrified to meet the growing demand.

      The author makes the claim that Atlanta neighborhoods are becoming more gentrified due to the incoming masses of middle class persons/families.

    10. Low-income residents that have settled close to the city, along public transportation routes, are having to move further out because the gentrification of neighborhoods raises the cost of housing.

      Author's claim is gentrification and higher property taxes in Atlanta neighborhoods have caused perons/families of lower incomes to leave cities allowing middle-class persons/families to move in. Specific examples of this scenario in scecific Atlanta areas should be incorparted into the author's claim and provided for reference.

    11. The quality and quantity of public transportation decreases as you move further away from the center of the city. Consequently, those living in poverty who have relocated further away from the city are in a worse situation because they do not have the same amenities available to them.

      This claim explains the disadvantages that lower-income person families face when leaving areas that provide abundant access to public transportation and move to areas with little to less public transportation prone to be of lower quality. An example of this case should be provided in this area to compare public tranportaion between a city area and an area in which it lacks.

    12. “Atlanta: Unsafe at any Speed: Transit Fatality Raises Issues of Race, Poverty and Transportation Justice” by Laurel Paget-Seekins “Health Impact Assessment of the Atlanta Beltline” by Catherine Ross

      This is a list of the sources that the author included to support the claim, but there are no specific details provided to explain how or why it benefits the argument being made.

      The author should provide direct, specific evidence from the listed sources to support the claim.

    13. “Using Vehicle Value as a Proxy for Income: A Case Study on Atlanta’s I-85 HOT Lane” by Sara Khoeini and Randall Guensler “Atlanta: Unsafe at any Speed: Transit Fatality Raises Issues of Race, Poverty and Transportation Justice” by Laurel Paget-Seekins “The Human Scale” by Andreas Mol Dalsgaard

      This is a list of the evidence based sources for the authors claim. The author should add links to the sources and provide specific evidence and citations from the sources that pertains to the claim that is being made.

    14. Photo of bench in Little Five Points

      The author makes note of a photograph that is not posted so there needs to be a photograpgh in this area as well as a description on its relation to the claim.

    15. “Atlanta: Unsafe at any Speed: Transit Fatality Raises Issues of Race, Poverty and Transportation Justice” by Laurel Paget-Seekins “How Cities Use Design to Drive Homeless People Away” by Robert Rosenberger

      Here are the sources provided to accomodate the author's claim, but the evidence to back up the claim in not provided.

    16. “CHANGING BOHEMIA Little Five Points, a Haven of Counterculture, Faces Gentrification and Dissension” by Melissa Turner “Health Impact Assessment of the Atlanta Beltline” by Catherine Ross

      Sources for this claim focus on the Atlanta Beltline and the Little Five Points Area, however, the author does not include any major points or refernces to enhance the claim on gentrification in Atlanta areas directly. An incorporation of in-text citations is needed.

    17. “Atlanta: Unsafe at any Speed: Transit Fatality Raises Issues of Race, Poverty and Transportation Justice” by Laurel Paget-Seekins “The Human Scale” by Andreas Mol Dalsgaard

      Provided here are a list of evidence based sources to reiterate the authors claim.

      Again, the author should add links to the sources and provide specific evidence and citations from the sources that pertains to the claim that is being made.