532 Matching Annotations
  1. Apr 2019
    1.         By looking at all of the willful deception and extremist propaganda that social media enables activists to spread, it is clear that social-media-enabled activism does more harm than good; this is important because, to stop this plague from continuing to pollute social media, social media activists’ messages must be censored. The damage that social-media-enabled activists cause each day cannot be overlooked, even in the context of all the good social media can supposedly do.

      Why is this repeated?

    2. social media activists’ messages must be censored.

      Framing the conclusion this way tanks the argument. rather than "censored," something like "monitored" or "checked" would be more likely to persuade.

    3. Social media has become a powerful tool for activists to spread their messages and influence people. This kind of social-media-enabled activism’s greatest yet most troubling feature is that it is open to everyone. That everyone encompasses wildly different people, cultures, and ideological beliefs, and social media affords social justice advocates and terrorists alike the ability to reach billions of people. Global social media use is growing, and, with it, the number of people activists that utilize social media can reach and influence is growing.

      Great paragraph.

    1. As a result of this, we see many questionnaires that ask questions about an individual's music preference when getting to know them.

      These uneven text blocks make it look like something (an image?) is missing.

    1. We listen to music as soon as we wake up, when we’re walking to class, when we’re studying, and it even plays in the places where we work.​

      More vivid examples would engage the reader more.

  2. daughertyhumorengl101.weebly.com daughertyhumorengl101.weebly.com
  3. daughertyhumorengl101.weebly.com daughertyhumorengl101.weebly.com
    1. Studies find that using or watching political satire increases political efficacy and participation. It shows people what is going on, it makes them more aware of things they might've not realized was going on, and makes them want to make a difference for what they believe in. 

      A hyperlink or reference to a specific study would be helpful here - simply "studies" is too vague.

  4. daughertyhumorengl101.weebly.com daughertyhumorengl101.weebly.com
    1. recent presidential elections that took place

      Be more specific about time & place, in case this site were to be accessed abroad, say, or last beyond the next 1.5 years.

    2. You could travel back in time to ancient Egypt and find evidence of political satire.

      Great detail. Going into some depth with this example could be a great way to start the Position Paper.

  5. vac4170.wixsite.com vac4170.wixsite.com
  6. ashcliff.weebly.com ashcliff.weebly.com
    1. but users should be aware of which sites are more biased than others, and choose to stray away from those pages with all the biases.

      This could use more development. How should users be able to tell the difference?

    1. Don't you think this is avoiding mutations which inhibits evolution by natural selection? Changing genome of a unborn baby would only help one individual, but it will create more larger issues of human evolution.

      This comment has insight to offer, but it's too short...

  7. genomechange.weebly.com genomechange.weebly.com
    1. since the public had no access to genome editing since it was highly costly and needed very advanced tool.

      Confusing sentence, sounds like a runon.

    1. When anyone, even more specifically the elderly, listens to louder more upbeat music, it takes more for them to process it. Because of these circumstances, their mood can be affected in an alternative way than the happy upbeat music was originally intended. Furthermore, in the case of those who wear hearing aids, the devices often skew the sound of the music which could make it more undesirable to listen to.

      Interesting thread - would elderly people take offense to this characterization?

    2. listening to happy, upbeat music

      Lots of rap music is upbeat & positive. The claim that rap music is aggressive (especially without evidence) may be rooted in racism. I realize that you're playing a role here and this is a commonly held view, but it's important to apply critical thought to this association.

    3. 1950: This era marked the rock'n'roll era, with well-known musicians today such as Elvis Presley. He was considered the "king of rock'n'roll" because of his good looks, and catchy music spreading to households across the nation.

      I love this strategy!

    4. , that not even words can describe the feeling.

      This might be too strong. People have written great books about this feeling - look at Oliver Sacks' "Musicophilia" or David Byrne's "How Music Works."

  8. mental-health-social-media.weebly.com mental-health-social-media.weebly.com
    1. However, studies have shown that social media is actually doing more harm than good regarding our mental health. With the rise of social media in the 21st century the rise of depression, anxiety, and ADHD is present as well. This negative impact of social media on our mental health has a lot to do with the amount of time we spend on the screen and with the design of social media itself.

      Really sharp, efficient overview.

    2. Not only is the picture saving a problem but the ability to make anything anonymous make it easier to target and bully other users.

      This sentence feels a little off topic - it's not clear what it connects to, precisely, from the previous sentence.

    1.  MUSIC  STABILIZES  A PERSON MENTALLY AND CAN BE USED AS THERAPEUTIC ACTIVITY FOR THOSE WHO ARE PSYCHOLOGICALLY UNSTABLE.

      These headlines are quite long.

    2. While there are many counter arguments pertaining to the different claims presented throughout this webpage, society as a whole can either partially or fully relate to these assertions.  

      Tone veers academic here.

    3. There are many reasons why certain genres of music differently affect people’s moods and why some people prefer one type of music while others favor a completely opposite genre; certain factors such as the characteristics of music (tempo, beat, and pitch), personalities, and developmental issues all affect the way we view music and whether or not we feel connected to the artist.

      Accessible, vivid writing - ideal style for this medium.

  9. shouldmusicprotest.weebly.com shouldmusicprotest.weebly.com
    1. Artists such as Nina Simone sang songs such as "Mississippi Goddam" in an attempt to draw the country's eyes to a specific issue.

      Incredible song, and a strong sentence.

  10. socialmedialandscape.weebly.com socialmedialandscape.weebly.com
    1. This lack of connection between the two debating parties often causes the issue at hand to be more divided, lacking a middle ground. It seems as though we are no longer seeking compromise, common ground, but trying to come out as the victor in the fight. 

      Good explanation, but phrasing could be tightened up a bit.

    2. When we express ourselves online we tend to become more polar in our views as there is little immediate consequences to our actions.

      It's hard to follow this reasoning. Why would this make views more polar, exactly?

    3. Due to its consistent presence, following the evolution of activism helps us to understand the connection between the people and their connection to freedom of speech.

      Confusing sentence.

  11. americanpoiticalhumor.weebly.com americanpoiticalhumor.weebly.com
    1. The saying "news travels fast" might be an old one, but the 21st century brings it a whole new meaning. The creation of social media has taken the world of news and transformed it completely, as it allows information to be spread to a whole new plethora of people in a brand new way. Before social media people would be forced to spread news and such orally, then in written form, then with television programs, until finally media platforms online gave easy accessibility to everyone. It became routine for one to unlock their phone and within two seconds be reading about the most recent event on twitter. Between school shootings, celebrity sightings, government lawmaking, and many more, social media has been able to inform people within minutes of what is happening. This is why activists have taken their platforms to the many social media sites to express their cause and easily spread it to users.

      Solid paragraph, good subject intro.

  12. music-psych.weebly.com music-psych.weebly.com
    1. tell a story through the emotion they provoke and can work to create an image through these stories and emotions. 

      Circular reasoning in this sentence, do you see why?

  13. jswam8.wixsite.com jswam8.wixsite.com
    1. People try to make light of these situations with humor, when that is the last place humor should be used. Humor has also been used to make fun of the way people look or act. Humor in these situations can very easily cause people to be offended and upset at what is being said.

      This is all accurate, but the general aim of this argument isn't working. No one would argue vehemently to ban humor on social media - can you think of a more reasonable way to frame this, perhaps arguing that humor's value on SM is troublingly high?

  14. sunrenpeng007.wixsite.com sunrenpeng007.wixsite.com
    1. our interaction with each other is about meeting in person while engaging in conversations

      Try restructuring this sentence around an active verb.

    2. When social media first came out in 1997, people became more reliant on the sense of "connections" through using social media. As time passed by, more media platforms were introduced to the public, only resulting in more daily usage and dependences. While social media is a tool for us to connect better with each other, numerous functions were added later to the point of redundancy. Besides simply sending text messages and images to the recipient, daily news, sporting events, music, podcast, commodities, personal events are now part of the platform as well. While we are indulging in this sense of "connection," there is numerous evidence pointing to various harmful effects of using social media. To have a better understanding of the impact of media platform has on us, I designed a website that serves as a medium to both inform the reader and allows everyone to share their opinions in the blog sections below.

      Text is too small - much smaller than the images on the page! - and the formatting is odd. Bringing space between paragraphs would help.

    1. Many people argue against the correlation between ADHD and screen time/media. The two issues pose a lot of questions themselves. Both ADHD and screen time includes numerous variables that can affect outcome and symptoms.

      The layout on this page is confusing -- it's not clear whether the reader should read top to bottom or left to right.

    1. Excessive screen use can cause distractions for people with or without ADHD and can interfere with important parts of life. Studies show that children who grow up attached to screened devices show more signs of ADHD than others.

      The writing here is efficient, as usual, but a bit lacking in specifics.

  15. stefanellimediaanalysis.weebly.com stefanellimediaanalysis.weebly.com
    1. Relevant Definitions  ADHD: Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is a mental disorder of the neurodevelopmental type. It is characterized by difficulty paying attention, excessive activity, and behavior without regards to consequences which is not appropriate for a person's age.  Screen Addiction: The overuse of screen related devices such as smart phones, tv, computers and others. Users become more involved in their screens then real life.  Media: ​a means of communicating using third party apps and using internal communication systems. 

      Great thinking here, but the writing could be tightened up a bit.

    2. The interaction between ADHD and screen time is an issue relevant to only recent history. There are a lot of questions around the interaction between the two but very few answers. Is the relationship Negative

      Every sentence here relies on passive voice. Try rewriting with strong verbs.

  16. aashisrivastava.wixsite.com aashisrivastava.wixsite.com
    1. Those T.V. shows should be critiqued as if they had just been released

      This argument seems a bit weak - might be more viable for this perspective to argue that these shows should no longer air.

    2. Even I, though angered by the jokes, still watched the show. I began to think back at other older shows that I enjoyed watching and compared them to current television shows. This then sparked my interest in how humor has changed in television shows.

      I like this, but again, this would be stronger with more specific examples.

    3. In today’s society, humor is usually taken very seriously and can often be seen as offensive in certain situations.

      How do you know this? Give evidence, even if the claim feels innocuous -- it might sound strange to some readers, this idea that even humor is a serious matter.

    4. Humor is a very important part of television. However, humor in television has changed over the years. 

      Justify left. Centered text is awkward to read (only center headlines).

    1. Whether it be finding a roommate or just wanting to make new friends outside of your own community, SNS are a great way to do it.

      This argument is well defined, organized.

    1. While we can see that there are some social deficits in adolescents who are using an excessive amount of social media, their ability to meet new people is greatly increased.

      Good comment.

  17. socialmediagen.weebly.com socialmediagen.weebly.com
    1. most people in America can’t leave a room unless they have their phone

      This almost lands. You might turn this up to a true hyperbole, so your audience understands it to be a joke, i.e., "most people in America can't bear to set their phones down, even to use the toilet."

    1. This source is used to back up factual information used in the argument. Without this source, the information given would be unsubstantiated and could be assumed to be made up or simply untrue. It helps to prove how a single post can grow beyond its initial purpose.

      The first sentence could go unsaid.

    2. Issues like race, gender, and sexual identity as well as environmentalism are at the top of any news feed on an array social media platforms.

      Vague assessment - give stronger evidence.

    3. While both marches occurred at different times in our nation, they both stood to see changes made. The evolution of social media, from the limited circulation of television to modern apps like Twitter, he surge of participation in political activism is owed to social media’s ability to connect people together.

      Comparing two examples is not enough to establish a trend or phenomenon.

    4. outlet for marginalized people to express their struggles.

      This definition is imprecise. It does facilitate expression, but expression itself is not the goal. Usually these movements are working towards a policy change/social shift of some kind.

  18. smartphoneaddicts.weebly.com smartphoneaddicts.weebly.com
  19. smartphoneaddicts.weebly.com smartphoneaddicts.weebly.com
    1. The smartphone: a small portable texting, talking, tweeting, gaming, and streaming box. The first smartphone, the iPhone, was brought to the public in 2007, could only be purchased through AT&T, and only contained Apple produced apps. Today, the general public often can be found staring down at their screens, or with one up to their ear. Furthermore, the use of smartphones is not limited to one specific age group. In fact, according to DMR, last year approximately 85.8 million used iPhones in the United States alone, and 78% of teenagers in the United States owned iPhones. In a paper from the journal Computers in Human Behavior v92, addiction is defined as a state of mental dependency on something. This definition can be connected back to the constant use of smartphones in everyday life. A recent CNN article included a survey for readers to test their level of iPhone addiction, where 66% of the UK participants scored highly enough to have severe anxiety without access to their cell phones. 

      Beautifully written!

    1. According to an article from the University of Virginia, activism movements are often known to give the youth a sense of purpose and belonging/connectedness.

      Name the article and author or hyperlink.

  20. free-activism.weebly.com free-activism.weebly.com
  21. happymusi.weebly.com happymusi.weebly.com
    1. Our minds have been unreasonably conditioned to disregard matters of importance for matters of insignificance.

      Can this claim be substantiated?

    2. It has been influencing our lives for so long with a significant effect yet, many of us seem to overlook its pricelessness for articles and studies such as if “Kim Kardashian is training to become a lawyer?!” or if “Donald Trump dislikes immigrants , why?”.

      I like the humor, but it's not quite landing - too off-topic.

    1. Whether it's taken the form of 1780s Parisian canards, World War I yellow journalism, or more recent fake news, this technique is one journalists have been using since the birth of information.

      Great.

    2. A majority of today's generation is all about social media, and they're almost addicted to their smartphones.

      Awkward phrasing - how could you refine?

    3. Then we can finally start to hold those who use this tactic accountable for their actions.

      This goes too far. Unless actions are criminal, there won't be any reckoning...