Inconsistency in the way you cite your references.

same as above!

Are those class notes? What is the original reference for this?

This reference is weak. No one except students registered to this course can view this.

Presumably this is not the original reference!!

What does this mean?

it's a table, not a figure.

sentence ends and then begins with the same word!

typo?

Yes, cause not necessarily how it affects the nervous system. Could be clearer what is about cause and what is about lesion.

This is to "determine how the potential stroke is affecting the nervous system"?

Heart and arteries of the neck? Does not have to do with brain damage?

It's not just primary motor cortex, it can be any fibre that is connected to it. For example, a subcortical stroke can often lead to hemiparesis.

This is during movement or it's just with "stimulus"? What kind of stimulus, auditory? Presumably since it is in Wernicke's area.

somtimes you put the period before the citation and sometimes after!

inappropriate way to refer to these patients. Did you read our previous comments?

as mentioned in your earlier submission, this is not appropriate.

this was not super clear to me, that it is a group intervention.

What are the more "direct" benefits? These are a little more "secondary" benefits from your intervention. Start with the direct benefits first!

orphan figure?

missing )

Is there a better way to embed your videos?

I just wonder why you would never do overground walking in your training.

Kinesiologists know what the borg is, right?

Would you aim to change this throughout the program?

Really nice section. The only thing I wonder about is WHY braces are used. What do they help with?

Nice section but it could be a line or 2 in your booklet if you need to make space.

can abilities experience anything?

or feedforward?

Nice figure, clear but I do wonder what the "normal aging" decline looks like.

Do people with PPS typically present with mobility problems? Do they look different? Feels that I am missing that information in your booklet. How would I picture someone with PPS? Wheelchair? Walking aid? Normal looking?

indirectly because of muscle atrophy?

Can be difficult to navigate your booklet. Challenging to move backward and when we press the "home" page, it's empty.

Just add where this picture comes from.

commas

relevant? Is that what you mean?

where does this image come from? ID your source.

How will you use it in the context of your proposed training?

How are you planning to use mental practice for drop foot?????

You should end your paper with a proper conclusion!!!

I believe motor imagery exists from various perspectives (imagining yourself doing the movement or looking at yourself). Do they have all the same effect on overt performance?

Probably need to present a section where you describe the added value of combining the 3 interventions proposed. They are too independent as is. Why do all 3? Why bother?

expand more on this. Why is this good? Why would it promote VOLITIONAL gait control?

as listed in the table below?

Need to understand more about your intervention before you describe duration, inclusion/exclusion, etc.

Perhaps a "cause-effect" explanation would be helpful here or presented previously. Why these symptoms?

No hyphen needed?

As shown in the figure on the right.

Need to connect your text with your figures. You add them to improve our understanding.

What does this mean?

do they have tremor or symptoms that "resemble tremor"?

Is this an important symptom?

Specific for FHD?

So although it is hand, it radiates up the arm?

What are the problems with writing with FHD?

what are triggers for FHD?

What kind of movements can lead to FHD? Any type of movement?

It happens with any movement of the limb once FHD manifests?

reference for your figures?

You cover too much ground here. Focus on ONE problem: APAs OR APRs OR dynamic balance OR static balance OR whatever you think works for you and for which you can present depth on the MOTOR LEARNING aspect (ie, NOT strength training).l

Author of book, not publisher!

When and how to use those?

Need a reference for such a statement.

?

wrong choice of word

why this one?

What aspect of balance would it help?

you are missing the part on focusing on 1 motor impairment. This is the one you should describe in current and proposed treatment.

what kind of exercises are these? why would they be good? why would they reduce fall risk?

Why could that be? This is getting more relevant.

What is the deficit you are working on? What is your "motor impairment" that leads to falls in the elderly?

APRs? gait? Need to be more specific and work on 1.

Aging-Related

frontal prefrontal?

what is the difference with dopa? why name this one?

also shows motor symptoms? Why not use in the previous paragraph?

et al. would save so much space!

Need to exapand on this paragraph!

You can come up with something better than just doing assessments!

do we really need a table like that to present this information? Not very clear as a stand alone.

Need to focus on APRs only. Current treatments for APR not UVL.

What makes vestibular training work? Why do these exercises work? What improves?

Improve transition between sentences.

Schmidt, motor control and learning a behavioral emphasis I believe 2009

they are actually long-latency reflexes (=triggered postural reactions). There is no comparator here!

you can make this paragraph clearer.

you can cite the Macpherson and horak book chapter in Principles of Neural Science (ie, the reading for those lectures).

Very clear but perhaps rephrase in the context of a booklet?

Interesting, so he has vestibular hypofunction or unilateral loss?

Did you mention how you can acquire UVL?

Twenty

what compensation?

How does this remove somatosensory feedback?

how does this remove vision?

sensory feedback

Nice video but what is normal and what isn't?

Link to your text!

The other tests did not?

?

Not clear what is manipulated and what it means?

Are nystagmus always indicative of pathology?

Why does cooling/heating on one side lead to nystagmus?

Inappropriate way to cite this reference.

Yes, the endolymph.

Really? The semicircular canals?

Put the Author's name!!!

Really useful?

VSR??

what causes this with respect to the vsr?

So what is disturbed exactly? You did not really explain what the vestibulospinal reflex is.

what is body balance exactly?

Isn't what you just explained in the previous sentence? Or ar you saying in the previous they compensate with other systems for these symptoms?

Feel as though you talked about this already earlier in this section.

Be more efficient in how you organize your ideas to avoid repeating information.

Why?

great but it would be better if linked to previous paragraph.

who is they?

video is nice but do you need it? It basically repeats the info you have up there (and more). Does it really help understanding?

any kind of movement?

What kind of information?

need to better organize this section!

Make sure that the points you want to make are clear!

missing a period

people with MS

It's not "appropriate" to refer to MS patients.

too?

Rephrase, not the way to write a paper.

This links to the figure above???

Perhaps you should meet with Marcela to get help on how to format your Scalar?

This section is very good.

What is your motor impairment exactly? I'm not fully sure? APR in general? APR scaling? APR latency? Postural imbalance? Postural imbalance and APR?

What is affected in MS with respect to the motor control model?

meaning what more specifically?

Why would that be?

?

? editing

postural imbalance?

balance?

really, just motor?

Can you be clearer about what you mean here?

you are missing a space here.

No reference for your figure. Where did you take it?

It's very nice but it relates to what part of your text. What does it highlight exactly?

To me this is an orphan figure.

Honestly, I would see it at the very beginning of your booklet to explain what ms is. But this is really your call.

which is?

Presenting symptoms? The reason why they first consult for ms?

Not super clear about what this is.

Connect to your figure better!!!

Explain your figure!

this section is very good. Perhaps it would be nice to explain what someone with MS would "look like"?

You explain what it targets, the immune attacks and types of MS but you do not really tell us what it is.

Perhaps you could change your figure for something more relevant to what you are describing here? Phases? how demyelination occurs, ms plaques?

Every time you have a figure you need to relate to it in your text. Figure 1 shows the relationship between...

Is this too broad?

perhaps the image of a normal brain beside it would help ups see how mickey has changed with psp.

this was mentioned in your first page but never explained.

Your image looks squeezed in antero-posterior (ie, x axis)

what are those exactly?

• Careful, this is taken directly from Zampieri and Di Fabio 2006.

You cannot copy text and just change a word here and there.

Make sure that there is no "near" copy-paste from the existing literature!!!! Anywhere in your paper.

I will not look further for similarities in published work. I trust that you will make sure this is not the case in the final version.

Can you rewrite this paragraph to be more of an overview of the prognosis?

I don't see that you are working on anything else than hand grip strength.

Not at all what you are working on!

Can you be more specific?

Is grasp and hand grip strength the same?

How do you set this and why?

Why would this be a good tool for SCi, specifically CCS?

Is this your motor impairment?

For hand recovery?

This should be clearly described.

Drug therapy likely outside the scope of kinesiologists. This is also the acute phase (early in spinal shock) where you would not be doing any treatment for hand recovery.

Current treatment should be for your motor impairment hand.

Within those 4 lines you cite the same 2 papers 5 times in total!

Synthesize rather than summarize! This will help your paper immensely.

specific for your motor impairment?

what do you mean by this?

CCS specifically

Can you synthesize the information you presented previously to make it more digestible and relevant for what you are presenting down the line?

I do not understand why we have to read about the homonculus for your paper. Does it matter in your case? How important is this?

What are you describing here?

control of muscles in the sensory cortex?

Is this your motor impairment?

It should be more specific. What kind of deficit in the hand will you be focusing on?

on? Do you actually need this sentence?

Make sure that the link between your sentences is clear. You go from walking capacity to a "majority of recovery" to only upper extremity. I cannot follow this.

No matter the level of SCI involvement?

Why would there be improvements or deterioration?

But what you have in the table is not letters. Are we talking about something different? Are you referring to something else? Confusing.

This is a table, no?

What is the difference between these terms with respect to the ASIA scale?

What is the difference between a and b?

What does a show? A ct,really? Is it showing fracture stability as you mention here or is it showing soft tissue damage as well? Why fracture stability and extent of damage? What is the difference and why is this important?

Performance or injury?

Feels redundant a bit with what you presented in the first page.

Again, this is a very dry section that presents very superficial information.

It's fine to narrow down to C7-T1 but you should clearly say so somewhere in your text!

Link to text. What does it add? Seems that this is basically what you text contains and not much more.

Feels like you spend a large chunk of the previous section explaining this. Why do you need to repeat this here?

Relate to your figure. Why are you presenting this figure?

Need to refer to your figure in the text. Figure x shows...

It has to add something.

You never really explain what a spinal cord is. You discuss different types and innervation but you don't really say what it is.

You have key information here but it is not easy to read and it is hard to follow.

For example, in the first paragraph, except the first sentence you repeat the word incomplete in every sentence. Sometimes, you end your sentence with this word and the first word of the following sentence is again incomplete. You can be much more efficient in you writing and make your text more digestible.

trunk stability being strength? Are we sure about this?

Again, contradictory with diagnosis.

provoke static stability?????

You need to work on this section. Ideas are not clearly presented at all, writing is sloppy. What are you trying to do with the wii? Why will it be better than current treatment? How will training progress? What are you expecting from this intervention? Improvements? maintenance?

rephrase

what do you mean by this. I do not understand.

What are serious games? Silly games would be more fun?? This makes no sense.

You already cited 3 sentences above. Do not present it as if you are talking about something new.

Are you stating the obvious? This was only discovered in 2012??????

what do you mean?

Are you targeting children with this? What age? Is this good for anyone with DCD? Are there different levels of involvement with this pathology? Are some people more dyspraxic than others? Could anyone do the one legged stance on the wii?

What are you expecting to change in terms of motor control?

Never mentioned this before!

So it's feedback forever? Is this good?

How often do you do this?

Be consistent when you talk about a control group. You use different language throughout your text.

Need to be way more explicit about this.

I already read this in a previous section!!!

What do they actually do?

You alternate between assessment and treatment. It is confusing. You want to focus on treatment. You spent the motor impairment section talking about what the problem is. Non need to reassess here.

??

need to mention again?

static balance in dyspraxia?

static balance in dcd?

This page is a summary of Jonston et al., 2002. Why not synthesize it with the rest of the postural deficit? Perhaps their finding with the other ones you presented will enable you to make some links?

APAs you are indicating plural

disruption?

APAs

missing (APA)

rephrase

This picture comes from a paper that showed that kids are more dependent on visual cues. Are you saying that kids with DCD are even more dependent on visual cues? Would be important to say. You could also tie in with your very first page where you describe multisensory info.

Eliminated or reduced?

Good but you can shorten

persons

Perhaps contrast with normal kids right away instead of having a different section for normal behavior?