802 Matching Annotations
  1. Nov 2020
    1. highlighting a very significant point: language is beyond just the means of communication, it is the identity of an individual

      is this really the point they're highlighting?

    2. authors’


    3. Obama’s speech as evidence and used it to reference different parts of the speech

      doesn't make sense

    4. authors’


    5. through his example, the gap between the dialogue of language in the context of race is being bridged

      unclear. do you mean through the examples of Obama the authors analyze?

    6. very influential in his election

      yes. notice that this is different than saying it "led to" his election?

    7. The authors, however, broke down his simple phrase of “Nah, we straight” explained the significance of saying what he said, the way he said it

      unclear sentence also the "however" makes it sound like this is contradicting something you've just said

    8. Whiten, Blacken, Americanize and Christianize”

      if this is a direct quote it needs citation

    9. He used storytelling and narration especially the ones that his audience can relate to and are familiar with, to connect with people and to hit his point across while also using techniques like repetition and parallel structure that is rhythmic and poetic to captivate the audience, as seen in the video.

      this sentence is very long and could use some re-wording

    10. hit


    11. narration especially

      narration, especially

    12. about G.I bill

      I think this should be "talked about the G.I. Bill"

    13. He was no too White that the Blacks could not trust him and he was not too Black that the Whites could not deem him incapable

      well put

    14. paranoia


    15. the Black people

      again, no "the"

    16. the White people

      maybe just "White people"

    17. English which

      English, which

    18. 3


    19. style”.

      if this is a direct quotation it needs a page number citation

    20. led to his election

      okay, I see why you're saying this, but this makes it sound like a cause of his election and I don't know if that's exactly what they're saying. They're saying it was a necessary condition, which is not the same thing as a cause.

      Here's what they say: "Barack Obama’s mastery of White mainstream English ways of speaking...combined with his mastery of Black Culture’s modes of discourse...was...necessary...for him to be elected America’s first Black president" (20, emphasis added)

      Is this the same thing as saying his language led to his election? Perhaps I'm splitting hairs but this seems like a different claim

    21. includes

      you shift between present tense and past tense ("was singing") in this sentence, which is confusing

    22. is often characterized

      by whom? the authors? or the authors' informants? also, using "was" here instead of "is" would make it more clear this is what Alim and Smitherman have said, not what you're saying

    23. the Black people

      doesn't sound right. perhaps just "Black people" or better yet, since Alim and Smitherman use the phrase, "Black folks"

    24. the language he is addressing to

      doesn't make sense

    25. Black language

      again capitalize Black Language (to indicate to the reader this is a specific term for Alim and Smitherman)

    26. flavor

      ? aspect?

    27. someone which

      someone, which

    28. signifying

      maybe put this in quotes since it's a technical term in this text

    29. where copula

      where the copula

    30. English is spoken by Black people

      this makes it sound like all black people speak English this way in all contexts. perhaps it's an "aspect of AAVE"

      Alim and Smitherman do say "speakers of Black Language" do xyz but this isn't quite the same as saying "the way English is spoken by Black people"

    31. , words like is and are

      not sure you need to define copula here, but your definition isn't clear. copulas aren't words "like" is and are, they're different forms of the verb "to be"

    32. ,

      no comma here

    33. the old generational slang


    34. ‘straight’ which

      "straight," which

    35. to


    36. no

      put quotes here: "no"

    37. pronunciations.”

      this direct quotation needs a page number citation

    38. straight”.


    39. change by saying

      change, saying,

    40. deeper

      deeper than what?

    41. this style-shifting

      it's not clear here what "this" is referring to. Is it what you say in the previous sentence about his skills as an orator? This could use some clarification.

      Also, since styleshifting is a key term and one Alim and Smitherman are distinguishing from a more commonly used concept (codeswitching), putting styleshifting in quotes would help indicate this to the reader.

    42. The authors claim that language is usually not talked about in the context of race. There is a well-defined dialogue about race, but when it comes to language and the role it plays in the broader context of the race most Americans are largely unaware

      excellent. you immediately get to the core of their claim here

    43. it’s

      this should be its but it's not clear here what "it" refers to, so you might reword this

    44. The authors discuss how Obama utilized a mixture of Black language and Standard English to his advantage in making himself appear more familiar and more American, which contributed greatly towards his election. 


    45. Black language

      when using this term the authors capitalize both words: Black Language

    46. Alim H. Samy, & Smitherman Geneva

      H. Samy Alim and Geneva Smitherman

    47. excerpt


    48. That is why Obama had to change his language as he needed a better image and presentation of himself.

      perhaps, but why is it that Obama had to change?

    49. As a result, we must take notice of how we use language, as it defines us and shows who we are.

      Is this something the authors are arguing?

    50. As many people and cultures in America recognize the slangs and the different languages we speak, is not formal

      Sentence isn't grammatical. And is this an argument they are making?

    51. to inform people and this generation to realize our use of language

      again, this is very, very general and vague. They give more specific reasons for writing than this

    52. I realize the reason why the authors were writing

      avoid I in summaries like this. Just say "the reason the authors" or "one goal of the authors may have been"

    53. more surprising as he was able to practice and establishes himself as an American

      doesn't make sense

    54. establishes


    55. slangs


    56. The authors explain they had to sound educated in order to win his elections as he would fail if, he didn’t fix his way of speaking or use of language

      This sentence is very unclear

    57. if, he

      no comma needed here

    58. they had to sound educated

      they? the authors?

    59. that based on the way we use language, it identifies us and shows people who we are as a person to talk to and how formal we are

      I'm not sure this is actually what they're claiming. This may be implied in what they're saying or be part of their argument, but it's not the major thing they're getting at

    60. It is claimed by the authors

      this passive voice is okay because you say who is doing the claiming, but it's better to say "the authors claim"

    61. but also a white person

      doesn't make sense

    62. but

      this sentence "as many people...but Obama" isn't correct. Choose either as or but

    63. has


    64. The authors explain Obama may have changed his way of speaking English, so it can help him be elected as president

      again, this is not quite what they say

    65. the black language system

      ? do you mean AAVE?

    66. ungrammatical

      it's not ungrammatical, it's a different pronunciation

    67. was a bad look


    68. it a big

      it was a big deal?

    69. say “Nah” then saying no

      should this be say "Nah" instead of saying no?

    70. it was stated

      avoid passive voice.

    71. that Obama was elected because he had a good and formal way of speaking English in America

      are they really making a claim that language is the cause of his election? be careful to be precise. I would say they're analyzing why language was more important in Obama's campaign than in other presidential campaigns, but that's not the same as saying he was elected because of his way of speaking

    72. in the article it was claimed

      avoid the passive voice "it was claimed." Say "Alim and Smitherman claim" And no need to specify they claim it in the article, since all you're talking about is this article (which is technically a chapter, not an article)

    73. race, in the

      this comma separates two complete sentences. should be either a period or a semicolon

    74. In other words, race or culture impacts your way of speaking to other people, as it would change when you are in a different setting or speaking to someone

      Again, this is a very general statement. The authors are making much more specific arguments about how language changes in context and how the phenomenon of styleshifting is related to social hierarchy

    75. different and more manner way

      not grammatically correct

    76. what situation, you are in

      what situation you are in

    77. based on your race or culture you part of, it impacts the way you speak your language

      yes, this idea could be said to be a part of what Alim and Smitherman are saying, but this is a very general statement; they're making other much more specific arguments

    78. you

      you are

    79. One of the arguments I see is that

      Avoid this in a summary. Just say "one of their main arguments is..."

    80. to see and understand their own set of language

      do the authors say they're trying to see and understand their own language?

    81. As

      this "as" makes this into a clause instead of its own sentence, so this isn't a grammatical sentence as written

    82. the reading explains the meaning and use of language in America

      This is accurate, but can you be more specifc?

    83. Alim, H. Samy, & Smitherman, Geneva

      should be H. Samy Alim and Geneva Smitherman

    84. the use of language in American society, specifically in the context of race

      Good broad overview. Is there a way to be a bit more specific here?

      Also, consider a second read of this chapter to ask whether their main argument is that race plays a role in language, or whether language plays a role in race. This might be an important distinction that will help you bring this summary together more coherently.

    85. demonstrate language playing a role and stereotypes based on race

      is this all Alim and Smitherman are trying to demonstrate?

    86. boy

      maybe a little too informal for this sort of writing

    87. article

      technically this is a chapter. probably better to just say

      In "'Nah, We Straight...," Samy Alim and Geneva Smitherman discuss

    88. Language shouldn’t be judged just because you’re a certain race but instead everyone sticking  together and being able to express your tone in an appropriate way.

      not grammatical. and is this an argument the authors make?

    89. Language is important in which everyone should feel free to express themselves and not feel judged by the way they speak

      not grammatical. Also is this an argument the authors make?

    90. something I personally appreciate because it’s

      in a summary like this, you don't need to say you personally appreciate it (the fact that you're highlighting this from the reading suggests you appreciate it).

      Just say something like "the authors convincingly argue that race and language is important"

    91. author speaks

      authors speak

    92. Something surprising about the argument is that this has been an issue for a long period of time about how slang is considered unprofessional and informal because it is not the language that we hear in books or that is taught to us in school.

      you're getting at an interesting point here, especially given that this article is a professional/academic book taught in school and yet the authors styleshift into AAVE throughout.

      But the way you put it here, it sounds like you're saying that what's surprising is that slang hasn't been in books etc. Is that really surprising? And is that an argument the authors are making?

    93. We are so judged if not speaking probably especially if latino or African American race

      this sentence isn't clear/grammatical

    94. helps us understand how language works because language is something used in daily life and as of right now in today’s society, if you have a degree the way you present yourself language wise is very important

      this is a very broad statement that could be said about almost any of the readings. Can you be more specific?

    95. author


    96. President, talk about language and how it connects to race

      this isn't clear.

    97. He must sound like the previous White presidents to put the White people at ease, yet still sound Black enough so that Blacks would feel included in the political dialogue.

      Yes, this is a good way to state one of their main points.

      Be careful to use the past tense throughout. So, he "had to" rather than "must"

    98. is


    99. King Jr.

      King, Jr.

    100. will instead use

      instead used

    101. An example based on the article

      in a summary, all your examples should be based on the article, so there's no need to specify this

    102. relationship between race, language and racism plays such a key role in reflecting and defining the way human societies are structured that it deserves study as a separate field, which he calls raciolinguistics

      is this something that's said in "Nah, We Straight"? I'm not aware of them using the term "raciolinguistics"

    103. he

      who is "he"? this article has two authors

    104. made, The

      does "The" begin a new sentence? if so, change comma to period

    105. is something latinos can’t do just speak broken english just because spanish is  the principal language

      this sentence doesn't make sense as written

    106. spanish


    107. english


    108. An example being Latinos speaking

      is this an example from the reading?

    109. What I mean by this

      Instead of this, say "in other words" or even "what the authors mean by this"

    110. I noticed

      Avoid things like this in a summary. You can just say "one main argument is"

    111. styleshifts


    112. The image explores that silence can be an advantageous mode of communication.

      unclear how the image does this, and again this is also a prescriptive statement

    113. There are the benefits of a lack of speech on certain occasions of life.

      Again, here you're straying into the ethical or prescriptive. Basso's not arguing that silence is beneficial, he's describing how it's used

    114. This image depicts that a person does not need to speak to communicate with others

      This is redundant of the first sentence of this paragraph

    115. this image  portrays that speech is not a necessary concept to communicate.

      I like this image, but I don't see how it's portraying this

    116. People can communicate by remaining silent, just like Western Apaches do. This form of communication can be healthy and can lead to many benefits in different social settings.

      Here you're suggesting that Basso is saying that other people might also use language in the same way that Apaches do and that it's beneficial. But these are ethical (should or ought) arguments and don't accurately reflect this reading, because Basso isn't prescribing that people should use silence, he's just describing how some people do

    117. the mean

      a means

    118. So the author’s main point is to tell how refraining from the speech is different in all the social settings

      This is a minor point, but the main point is more specific

    119. Language is a complex system that includes mutual understanding and shared culture.

      Again, this is a very general statement that I'm not sure is necessary unless that's specifically what the author is saying in the article

    120. make a speech


    121. It

      What is "it" here?

    122. how Apaches are others from the rest of the world

      not sure what you mean by this?

    123. lack of speech

      rather than "lack" of speech (which suggests that there might be a limitation in capacity), it's probably more descriptive to say that speech isn't used or seen as appropriate in some contexts

    124. is very accurate and up to the mark

      unless you're familiar with Apache culture, it's probably better to write about whether Basso's examples prove his hypothesis, rather than whether they're accurate or not

    1. further supplements all aspects of food culture including table manners.

      Not sure what this means

    2. Food structure is highly determined by culture

      Food structure?

    3. By comparing the Chinese social structure as seen through table manner guidelines, it explains the title “you are what you eat.”

      This isn't the title! But in any case, you haven't made it clear how his comparison would explain this

    4. his main question of how table manners could be used in a positive way through a population’s adaptation

      This isn't his question, the adaptation idea isn't something he agrees with

    5. class position (page 181)” Each

      should be

      class position" (181). Each

    6. The author uses this comparison to argue that “expectations as to appropriate comportment at the table will also vary with region of origin, age, and class position

      it's not clear how the evidence you've just said Cooper uses supports this argument

    7. This

      What does "this" refer to?

    8. The host initiates the meal by picking up his chopsticks after each person has served a serving of rice, which is served by the host and accepted by the guest with two hands. The host then inquires if the guests are full which then allows them to leave the table unless they are the guest of honor. This is compared to the Cantonese, who feel uncomfortable leaving the table without completing their soup which is a part of each meal. The Cantonese in comparison to the Chinese have different aspects to their food such as always having soup in the meals while the Chinese always have rice in their meals

      It's unclear how this is analogous to the example you give above of children. I'd also recommend re-reading this passage to double-check the author is saying exactly what you say he is

    9. Cantonese

      Cantonese are Chinese. I don't think he's comparing Cantonese specifically to other Chinese groups, is he?

    10. This is due to the social structure of respecting elders and adults

      Good. This is a clear explanation of how Cooper's evidence supports his overall argument.

    11. defer from

      defer to

    12. ultimately defines who they are as a person

      be careful here. saying how a person eats "ultimately defines who a person is" is actually quite different from what you quote Cooper as saying, which is that how a person eats "gives off signals...as to what kind of a person one is".

      The difference being that signals are things that are interpreted by others. An interpretation is different than a definition.

    13. primarily uses the Chinese table manners due to its vast rules

      is this really why he's studying it? it's unclear here what you mean by "uses"

    14. one is (page 180)” Cooper

      this should be:

      one is" (180). Cooper

    15. specific

      "official" might be more accurate here than specific, because it seems like there are actually many rules that are specific, right? just no guidelines as in etiquette books or anything

    16. his argument “you are what you eat.”

      is that his argument?

    17. He explains these habits to further argue that it is hard to see how table manners could be used in a positive symbol for adaptation, especially with such diverse world ethnography.

      You're right that Cooper is disagreeing the first mode, but this sentence doesn't make sense to me as written

    18. 84

      put a period at the end here after 84.

    19. I think

      avoid "I think": we know you think this, since you're writing it

    20. 3


    21. game”.

      should be:


    22. it would be as simple as just providing information, and showing how different table manners can be in a different culture, not just Chinese culture.

      This is a very general statement and presumably true of anything written in anthropology. If you were to venture a guess as to why the author wrote this specific article, what would that be?

    23. I believe if the author had a specific reason to write this article

      avoid "I believe," just say what you believe. And you can presume, at least for the sake of this exercise, that the author did have a specific reason to write what you're summarizing.

    24. I can’t imagine that happening in western culture.

      focus on what the article says, rather than your own speculations

    25. The author’s argument helps us understand how language works

      I mistakenly put in the assignment description that you should assess the author's contribution to our understanding of language, but that should have said you should assess the author's contribution to our understanding of society through a lens of food.

      But in any case, it's unclear from what you say here how showing examples of differences between western and Chinese table manners helps us understand language, and the relationship between those things and the translation of language through the body (which is an interesting suggestion, nevertheless)...

    26. “In contrast Western etiquette in which toothpicks are never used outside the privacy of one’s room (McLean 1941: 63), toothpicks are provided at most Chinese tables and it is not impolite to give one’s teeth a thorough picking at the table.” (181)

      This quotation could probably be paraphrased just as effectively. Is there a need to quote this particular passage directly?

    27. I read about


    28. I think this is the total opposite from how I eat at least, for example eating steak with a fork and knife, we leave the plate on the table. Also, I

      This reading summary should not be about what you think, and should be limited to what the author says in the article.

    29. Another point that I found interesting was when

      Omit. A summary should focus on what the author says, rather than what you specifically found interesting

    30. differences in table manners between Chinese and Western Cultures. Also, things that are considered taboos in Chinese culture, are how we do things in western culture, and vice versa. An example

      These are all topics Cooper writes about, but are they the main argument? Your summary should begin with your overview of the main argument(s) or concept(s) in the article.

    31. three.” (180)

      this should be:

      three" (180).

    32. As I started breaking down this reading, I read about the

      A summary isn't meant to lead your reader chronologically through your process of reading Cooper's article. You should omit this and just say something like "The article describes differences in table manners..."

    33. This reading is published by Eugene Cooper, in 1986.

      This is all contained in the citation at the end of the summary so no need to write it out in narrative form.

    34. published


    35. is


    36. reading


    37. Eat”

      Needs a period at the end of this sentence, so:


    38. How

      italicize the How

    39. The topic that I chose for this blog post is identity and difference, and the reading that I chose

      Not necessary to write these things explicitly; your reader knows you chose this reading, since you're writing about it

    40. position.” (pg. 181).

      this should be:

      position” (181).

    41. This does not sit well with Chinese natives because it implicates the West having an influence on their tradition; in which it demonstrates ethnocentrism. 

      This isn't an accurate representation of what Cooper is saying. I don't think he says anything about how natives feel about not using chopsticks in relation to Hu's statement.

      But the point about ethnocentrism is actually meant to disprove something you say above. The ethnocentric perspective would be that "it is known" that you shouldn't share food because of germs. But Cooper is saying that the use of chopsticks takes this into account, because chopsticks "mediate between" the mouth and the table, and prevent their users from making contact with the food in a shared dish.

    42. change.” (pg. 180).

      This should be:

      change" (180).

    43. I believe this signifies

      This piece of writing is a summary. It's not a matter of what you believe this signifies, you're writing about what Cooper believes it signifies.

    44. There is a basic structure to eating in the Chinese culture.

      This is good. This accurately represents what Cooper is saying.

    45. by the

      get by in the present?

    46. it’s


    47. Chinese Table Manners: You Are How You Eat

      The title should be in quotation marks and not italicized, because it's a journal article, rather than a book

    48. uses two of three modes of understanding

      yes! excellent point that he dismisses one of the three modes that he outlines

    49. describe these cultural differentiations to show how anthropologically diverse food culture can be across the world and to just show readers a glimpse

      This is a very general statement that could be said about almost any piece of anthropological writing. This article isn't super specific about what the broader point is, although incorporating here your discussion above about food being part of a "symbolic order" would fit well here.

    50. I think

      Avoid "I think" because your reader already knows you think this, since you wrote it

    51. decent

      this makes it sound (to me) like the job he did wasn't that great...which is fine, but is that what you're saying? just curious.

      Also if you mean that he didn't do a great job, it would be helpful for your reader here to suggest or highlight what you think could have been better or what was left out. This is the "critical" part of a critical summary, so it's okay to give your opinion in this case.

    52. hierarchy in meal preparation and consumption, both in terms of method and time. For example, since rice usually isn’t eaten during the morning meal

      very interesting point. does this reflect or is it symbolically similar to other ideas about social status/hierarchy?

    53. And in using chopsticks, there are more sub-rules to follow, such as once you put food in your bowl, you bring the bowl to your mouth to eat and you never bite or suck on your chopsticks, as that can be seen as insulting.

      Although what you mean by "sub-rules" isn't clear here, this is an interesting point. It would be very helpful if you tie this and your discussion of communal eating back to how food practices "reverberate sympathetically with other orders" of the culture as you say at the top of this paragraph?

    54. -

      em dash

    55. just that

      say something like "because rice is so important" or "rice is that important" here, rather than "just that"

    56. -

      em dash again

    57. “represent a symbolic order, generally reverberating sympathetically with other such orders in a given culture” (179) and assuming that “food habits serve as social markers with the expectation that rules of commensality will parallel rules applying to sex” (179).

      excellent use of direct quotation here

    58. etiquette- assuming

      use an em dash again here

    59. In establishing his qualifications,

      Does it seem like the establishing of qualifications is so important that it needs this much detail?

      I could be wrong, but it seems like a minor point to his article...

    60. knowledge of a friend of his who is a Chinese cuisine enthusiast to prove that table manners as Westerners know them don’t really matter in terms of Chinese history.

      I see now why you say above that Chinese culture doesn't have as big a concern with table manners. But I don't think that's what Cooper is saying when he mentions his enthusiast friend. He's saying that table manners are the sort of thing that are taken for granted (and so assumed not to really be a concern) by natives.

    61. -

      use an "em dash" (—) here, with no space. So:

      ...qualification of individuals—he calls upon...

    62. shows that there is a more specific etiquette deeper than overall surface food practices seen more typically in Western food culture.

      Does he make a claim that Chinese etiquette is deeper or less superficial than "western" etiquette? I didn't see this in the article.

    63. also used bicultural people

      he did? I can't find where it says this

      Oh, I think I see what you're referring to. Cooper says "Those few who have written on the subject (Chang 1977; Hsii and Hsii 1977) generally qualify as bi-cultural individuals with sufficient experience of both Chinese and Western rules" (180). But here you make it sound like his ethnographic research was done with bicultural people as informants, which I'm not sure is the case...?

    64. doesn’t have as much etiquette and “table manners” as Western society does to begin with.

      Does he really say this?

    65. I think

      Avoid "I think". Your reader assumes you think this, since you're writing it.

    66. In China, toothpicks are provided at most Chinese tables and it is not impolite to give one’s teeth a thorough picking at the table

      this is a direct quote from the article but that's not clear because it's not in quotation marks. this is plagiarism. be sure to fix.I think you can probably paraphrase this, not sure that a direct quote is necessary

    67. one’s room”.

      This is a a direct quotation from the article, but the article is citing another so that makes it complicated. Do you really need to use this direct quote or can you paraphrase?

    68. done. Such

      period should be a comma, "such as..." is not a complete sentence

    69. ethnocentricity. Which

      this period should be a comma, because what comes after "which" isn't a complete sentence

    70. it


    71. as mentioned in the reading that

      unnecessary to say this because everything in your summary should be mentioned in the reading

    72. Cooper discusses the customs and etiquette in Chinese dining


    73. 8


    74. lady


    75. contradictions

      I think "contrasts" might be a better word here than "contradictions"

    76. “Chinese Table Manners: You Are How You Eat.”

      How should be italicized