802 Matching Annotations
  1. Dec 2020
    1. created .

      created.

    2. showing a point towards our knowledge

      ungrammatical

    3. in the sense compared to if there

      ungrammatical

    4. its

      it's

    5. leads

      lead

    6. what is called as “Functional foods”.

      what are called "functional foods."

      but more importantly, what are "functional foods"? Is this something your reader should already know? Is this a term Scrinis is using, or an industry term, or what?

    7. food,the

      space after comma

    8. are

      our

    9. co-opted ,

      co-opted,

    10. ;it

      space after colon

    11. states “The

      states, "the

    12. its

      it's

    13. nutritionism

      what is nutritionism? this needs to be defined first because your reader doesn't know what that refers to

    14. .”,

      no period after the title of the article. also, throughout your summary you need a space between every period and the following sentence.

    15. femininity has relation in the agrifood system .

      Does this contradict what's traditionally thought? It may in part, but you should be more specific.

    16. it is a modern issue that men are more recognized in the agrifood system then women

      this issue isn't modern, it's been going on since at least the beginning of recorded history.

      but either way, what does this article specifically contribute to that?

    17. author

      authors

    18. food works by connecting it to gender in a political way

      unclear

    19. author’s

      authors'

    20. using examples

      such as?

    21. The evidence is presented in a way that makes it clear on how it is intended to support the author’s argument because each section connects back to the author’s main argument.

      vague

    22. gender

      gender isn't an argument

    23. how the subordination of women and sublimation of feminist consciousness in relation to food has been engaged and explained in agrifood and feminist scholarship?, we ask what are the configurations of food-connected gender relations?, and what actions are being taken to change gender relations in the agrifood system?.

      This is a word-for-word reproduction of the article with no quotation marks or page number citation. Please correct immediately.

    24. author

      authors

    25. details

      detail

    26. they can bring a different lens to the scene and make us understand what’s going on in a deeper sense

      how is the lens different and the understanding deeper? I agree with this point but it's not well laid out in this paragraph.

    27. sediment

      sentiment

    28. In this case, the understanding of how capitalism works through corporate greed was enough for a queer farmer to switch into sustainable agriculture

      I'm not sure the author is saying there's a cause-effect relationship between being anti-capitalist and switching to sustainable agriculture

    29. skills

      important to this article is that those skills are traditionally taught or assigned only to cisgendered men (761)

    30. male masculinity

      reword this

    31. , they are treated with a lack of respect in the workforce.

      this comma should be a period or a semicolon; it separates two complete sentences

    32. This gives an insight as to how heterosexism has affected the ability for LGBTQ+ farmers to be a part of the movement

      does it show this? This particular quote makes it sound like Drew doesn't really care

    33. ,

      should be a period or a colon, otherwise this is a run-on sentence

    34. experiment

      research; not really an experiment

    35. who

      that

    36. this

      which?

    37. they

      who/what is "they" referring to?

    38. Despite the author’s call for action,

      unclear by this point what this call to action is

    39. substantial

      sustainable?

    40. On Apples and Anarchy

      Should be in quotation marks rather than italicized.

    41. should be based in the interest of saving animals from cruelty and environmental awareness.

      Is she really making this prescriptive claim?

      The closest thing to a prescriptive/ethical stance was when she says the Fruitlands story"also encourages us to remember that hierarchy is not merely theoretical. Real, radical change depends on our ability to carefully examine our interpersonal relationships alongside our theoretical ones" (42). I didn't see any claims about why one should/shouldn't be vegan

    42. Animals consumption could, in the eyes of the Fruitlanders, influence human behavior to its most base and animalistic.

      this sentence is a bit unclear

    43. Falvo also intimates that totalitarianism cannot be the basis for an anarchic society. This is to say that perhaps religion and anarchy are mutually exclusive

      I don't see how this second sentence follows from the first. I suppose it does if one assumes that all religion is necessarily oppressive...

    44. Animals

      Animal?

    45. hurry your utensil and bowls properly

      ?

    46. This is a form of the Chinese people understanding that food may not be good, which is seen as disrespectful since you’re never allowed to show to your host

      not a grammatical sentence

    47. This is similar to when someone burps while sitting down at the table eating in the US.

      Is this a comparison Cooper makes?

    48. This is the opposite of what is deemed acceptable in  America. People often eat alone because I feel that Americans are not as social as other countries. Breakfast is usually a quick meal people have to get on their way to work or school

      Does Cooper make this comparison to breakfast being quick in the US?

      In a summary you should avoid covering topics and opinions not specifically discussed by the author.

    49. (181)

      no need for page number citations throughout, unless you're making a direct quotation

    50. mixed with other much cheaper oils

      scandalous!

    51. Brand quality is how producers dissociate themselves from other producers, and a certain level of transparency, such as whether the olives were hand-picked or not, determines much of the consumer/producer relationship and in this enterprise of global trade, finding your brand helps with its level of success and capitalistic prowess.

      run-on sentence

      but this is a good start to showing how brand distinction is important. make it more clear in the following paragraphs that the scientific evidence on good fats and med. diet etc are part of brand distinction and capitalist success etc.

    52. dissociate

      distinguish

    53. The evidence implemented to support the author’s claims is presented in a way that makes sense. Meneley’s examples to support her claims were also substantial because they allowed her to expound on her main arguments while remaining informative yet thought-provoking.

      The evidence you review above doesn't give an indication of how she does this.

    54. The Mediterranean has been defined by its olives, and after centuries of continuous use of this natural food, its associated “ancientness” has given this fruit an edge over competing oils on the market. This element of olive oil has led to more discoveries in the scientific community. Its popularity has led to increased research on its notable and significant health benefits. With that came the development of what’s commonly known as the Mediterranean diet, and as you guessed, olive oil is a staple product in the diet thanks to the proponents of healthy fats that reduce the risk of heart disease, colon cancer, and high cholesterol. Olive oil has also been proven to be good for the skin, giving it an overall healthy and youthful appearance.

      It's true that these are all things that producers claim and Meneley talks about, but they aren't part of the argument she's making. So if they're included in your summary that should be more clear.

      Same for the next paragraph.

    55. (2007)

      no need for this throughout. If you do include it, do it only once after the first mention of her name above

    56. conversation that introduces insights around land acquisition, farming tasks and roles, along with reasons for choosing farmer as an occupation are discussed, from a queer and also arguebly anticaptalist framework.

      this whole sentence is a bit long and doesn't quite work. maybe break up by starting a new sentence here "Leslie offers insights into issues of land acquisition..."

    57. this comma should be after "Agriculture"

    58. arguebly

      arguably

      but why "arguably" here? Is someone arguing differently? If so make that explicit somewhere below.

    59. facilitated

      Minor critique, but it's less than ideal to have "critical engagement..." be the subject/actor in this sentence, the thing doing the facilitating. You might say "Leslie's work was facilitated by" or better yet "Leslie employed participant observation etc."

    60. unintentionally

      can we be sure what his intentions were? it's great to make this critique, but (imho, at least) more difficult to necessarily locate the oversight in terms of the author's intentions...

    61. I do not think he gave much thought

      again avoid "I think" but here it might be a more "charitable interpretation" to say he doesn't address race (he might have thought about it but not written it in this article).

      But you're so right about this. It's very strange/questionable that he says nothing about race in this article!

    62. I believe that

      Avoid "I believe"...you can just say "the author's account is..." Okay to add "in my opinion" if you want to make that more explicit, but we know it's what you believe since you're writing it.

    63. can also be argued

      by whom?

    64. where farming quality organic produce takes precedence over mass production.

      Might be helpful here to point out that they do also recognize (and attempt to resolve) some contradiction in that they're engaged in a business that reqiures competition, some accumulation of capital, etc.,

    65. shared an interest

      or perhaps "more often than heterosexual farmers tended to explicitly articulate an interest"

    66. sustenance

      sustainable?

    67. when discussing reasons

      when who was discussing? Leslie? His farmer informants?

    68. This

      What is "this" referring to? If to the previous sentence, I'm not sure I see the logical relationship

    69. Job tasks leaned more towards manual labor and animal husbandry, which has been traditionally casted as tasks given out to cisgendered men

      right... but one thing, is Leslie really saying that this causes masculine identified queer people to gravitate more to farming than other queer folks? (because wouldn't that kindof be heterosexist in itself?)

      perhaps more importantly, this sentence isn't quite clear and doesn't convey the argument that the preference for farming is about agency. And that the job tasks question relates to heterosexist exclusion from opportunities to master certain skills. Leslie says: "Although queer and heterosexual farmers expressed similar lifestyle motivations to farm, queer farmers also articulated gender- and sexuality-specific reasons related to individual agency, including farmer dress and gender presentation, seclusion on the farm, and the mastery of diverse skills often reserved for cisgender men" (763, my emphasis)

    70. graviated

      gravitated

    71. This was recorded

      by whom? avoid passive voice in cases like this

    72. code of dress and gendered work tasks gave more preference

      are dress and tasks the things doing the action here of giving preference?

    73. gave more preference to an androgynous to masculine identity

      this isn't clear, and not sure this is exactly what Leslie is saying...

    74. Gender expressions also explore the relationship

      are gender expressions really doing the exploring here?

    75. seen

      shown?

    76. offenders(c

      space before open paren

    77. and were often replaced with

      perhaps something like "but microaggressions were common" also the fact that these came from people that the queer farmers needed, economically, to interact with in order to keep their farms going seems like an important point the author is making

      [edit] nevermind: see that you address this later

    78. economical

      economic

    79. ,

      omit

    80. drab

      not sure this is the right word...banal maybe? although homophobia is neither drab nor banal, really

    81. ideology

      presumption?

    82. ,

      a period or semicolon here would help break up this long sentence

    83. not common

      not as common as they expected might be more precise way to put this

    84. misjustices

      not familiar with this term. injustices?

    85. acquiring land

      might specify here acquiring through intergenerational transfer? if that's what you're referring to?

    86. farmer

      farming?

    87. (2008)

      don't need the year every time. we know which article you're referring to from the citation at the bottom

    88. product, item, or object

      or person

    89. it’s

      its

    1. Thought can also be defined as the processor, rather, the action of thinking

      I also don't see where she makes this point.

    2. The words used in language can either be conventional or structural

      I don't see where she says something like this

    3. During the 1900s, especially during the barter trade, the language barrier was one of the challenges of the trade. To make trade easy at the time, there was the presence of interpreters who helped in making communication easy between the buyers and the sellers

      Is this an argument Hinton makes?

    4. Therefore, language is communication between human beings to pass information from one person to another. Language consists of the use of words either in written or spoken form. The primary benefit of speech is, therefore, communication

      This is generally counter to the fundamental ideas of linguistic anthropology and this article in particular.

    5. Something in the argument that is surprising or that contradicts something traditionally thought about language is its connection to gender. This article relates to an article called

      what connection to gender? and is this really surprising? also it sounds like you're saying the gender thing relates to Alim and Smitherman?

    6. The author might be making this argument because they want to bring attention to their main topic.

      That's almost definitely true, but why is this topic important to bring attention to?

    7. It adequately does so by discussing the historical colonial America and the modern school system

      not a grammatical sentence

    8. The author’s argument helps us understand that language works by connecting it to race

      yes, but how?

    9. This part of the article suggests that certain languages are associated with certain races. This section shows examples of racism towards African Americans and Latinos

      It's much more specific than this, though. For example, they say "Our raciolinguistic approach draws from Inoue’s work by refusing to center the analysis on attempts to document the empirical linguistic practices of racialized subjects, and instead interrogating the interpretive and categorizing practices of racially hegemonic perceiving subjects" (628).

    10. social categories that produce ideas of linguistic signs

      unclear

    11. Inoue’s

      who is this? Is this something any reader of your summary would know?

    12. raciolinguistic perspective

      this term is specific to this article (and Rosa's other work), so it needs to be defined in your summary

    13. American

      America?

    14. colanism

      colonialism

    15. “Racial and Linguistic Intersections and Assemblages”

      You don't need to give the title of the sections in a summary; just summarize them.

    16. The evidence is presented in a way that makes it clear on how it is intended to support the author’s argument because each section has a title that represents the way in which it supports the evidence

      Is it clear only because of the titles?

    17. ‘sounds black’. 

      "sounds black."

    18. Obama

      Obama's

    19. Alim, H. Samy, & Smitherman, Geneva

      H. Samy Alim and Geneva Smitherman

    20. in which discuss

      in which they discuss?

    21. and now using a raciolinguistic perspective

      doesn't make sense

    22. author

      authors

    23. details

      detail

    24. Unsettling race and language: Toward a raciolinguistic perspective

      should be in quotes and in title case

    25. (Martin, 500)

      no need to cite page here, you can just say "as Martin points out" or something like that.

    26. personhood

      yes--this is better than "essentializing" them

    27. Our language has power, and to naturalize what our culture’s stereotypes can hurt women’s political power in a world where we aren’t beyond sexual/gender inequality.

      good point, but a bit vague as to the impacts of this specific article. also this sentence isn't grammatical and doesn't make sense

    28. essentialize

      isn't this more like anthropomorphizing than essentializing?

    29. For example, the incident where American politician Todd Akin claimed that victims of rape seldom become pregnant because women’s bodies have natural solutions to prevent unwanted pregnancy.

      not totally clear how this is an example of exactly what Martin is talking about

    30. as

      has

    31. beyond a deceitful belief a biased experiment might have — such as claiming

      unclear

    32. which feeds into the social perception of cultural beliefs and incorrect stereotypes as having a “natural explanation.”

      unclear

    33. phenomenon

      phenomena

    34. y” By Penelope Eckert

      missing a question mark in title

    35. People who are determined enough and work hard enough will end up going where they want to and pursue the path they want and their socioeconomic class can help with their journey. 

      This is not a claim Eckert is making.

    36. the main point of Eckert making this paper is because it shows that even though all the students studied are in the middle class that in the end, they pick their own future based on them and who they are really as a person which then leads them to meet and talk to other people who are seeking the same future as them or have the same personality.

      This is approaching a run-on sentence. Also, is Eckert really talking about "personality" here?

      You are onto something though about the different groups' orientation toward different futures!

    37. I think

      omit

    38. pushes the point of the type of person you and then leds to you forming your friend groups and socioeconomic group

      This isn't clear. Also I'm not sure this reflect Eckert's argument

    39. with. Which

      with, which

      or:

      with. This

    40. While

      omit

    41. An example of this is when she goes to a high school and studies the students that attend the school and see how they act, and talk with each other

      This is less an example than a description of her entire research project

    42. I think that

      Avoid "I think" etc. Your reader can assume you think this because you're writing it.

    43. either

      omit this word

    44. do more of what they want

      is Eckert saying the jocks aren't doing what they want?

    45. jocks they

      need either a period or semicolon here to separate two complete sentences

    46. While

      omit "while"; that makes this an incomplete sentence

    47. are seen as

      are seen by whom? the researcher? themselves? their parents? others?

    48. The main argument that Eckert is trying to get across is that socioeconomic class has an impact on adolescents more than people think it does.

      No, she begins by using class as an example of something she thought would be important before she started her research, but turned out to be less important than other factors

    49. “To Give up on Words Silence in Western Apache Culture.” THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO PUSS JOURNALS 26.3 (1970): 213-230. journal.

      several things incorrect here. copy and paste from the way it's in the syllabus

    50. might

      don't hedge like this. just say he is saying/doing xyz

    51. Rather than the author’s gratification

      hahah, no need to mention this. it's from my assignment info right? I was being a little sarcastic when I wrote that

    52. with informers’ help

      anthros call them "informants," not informers. but you probably don't need to include this info since it's assumed or implied that he has informants since that's where he got his information

    53. the state of affairs

      this is vague

    54. give

      have?

    55. acknowledges

      proves?

    56. language is critical and depends on the environment and the situation at hand

      this is vague. could be said about almost any writing on linguistic anthro

    57. make

      helps us understand?

    58. how individuals

      which individuals?

    59. of language

      be more specific

    60. paint a clear picture

      avoid clichés...this is kindof one

    61. is meant to

      this makes it sound a bit like you're suggesting it's meant to do that but fails

    62. each and everyone

      every single person everywhere? that's a big claim ;)

      you can perhaps omit this; whether people can relate to it isn't as important as whether it's convincing evidence of some claim or argument

    63. closer

      closer than what? just "close" is probably okay unless you're comparing it to something else

    64. Summary of “Silence in the western Apache culture”

      you have the title wrong here also capitalization of words should match that used in the journal article

    65. KEITH H. BASSO

      no all caps

    66. eye

      ? study, maybe?

    67. tries to

      this kindof makes it sound like you're suggesting he fails

    68. because they are holding a lot of grief.

      is this why? I think it's not specifically grief

      all the situations are about uncertainty surrounding the "personal status" of the person to whom one is silent.

      your summary here needs to bring this out--it's a major point in the article

    69. your lover

      if you're courting someone they're probably not your lover yet

    70. They are not used to the idea of quick friendship with strangers

      This makes it sound like they're not familiar with that idea. But they are, they say that all the white people they know do it. So it's not that they're not used to it, it's that this isn't the Apache way of doing things

    71. restrain

      refrain

    72. silent such as

      silent, such as

    73. Basso

      you don't need to cite Basso since that's the only article you're talking about

    74. Mainly Apaches’ decision to speak or remain silent is influenced by their connection with others

      not really clear about what you're saying here. Is this one of Basso's points?

    75. in the holy places of worship

      is this one of his six situations?

    76. Society, for example, holds the ideology

      which society?

      also "ideology" isn't quite the right word here. if you're talking about the Apaches Basso is studying, you might say for example, it's their custom to remain silent until introduced

    77. in different situations and people

      in different situations and with different people?

    78. communication, mostly verbally, is a matter of decision-making. A speaker is supposed to select a suitable code concerning the immediate situation. They also select the right channel of transmission and finally communicate. From this research, we understand that it is not enough for a stranger to formulate a clear message to the mind.

      This could use a clarification. What Basso is saying in these few paragraphs doesn't quite come across in your description.

    79. According to the author

      actually here he's summarizing the ideas/work of others

    80. go

      be

    81. chose

      choose

    82. language. When

      language: when

      or

      language—when

      or, another option

      language, for example when

    83. and the

      or

    84. the

      omit

    85. has

      Definitely has by now. Does he say it's received little attention? I don't see where, but he might. If he does, say "which at the time had received little attention" or something like that.

  2. Nov 2020
    1. Works Cited 

      I would either omit this, or add a works cited entry to the article you link to.

    2. .”

      this period should be a comma

    3. describe

      again...describe isn't quite what they're doing, but much closer than determine. perhaps "indicate"? but important to say it indicates to others (rather than just in general, as if indicating something factual or essential about a person)

    4. insane

      strong word, perhaps...

    5. everything

      everything??

    6. adds

      doesn't make sense here

    7. Cooper’s article shows that it is important for Westerners to be knowledgeable on Chinese table manners in order to better communicate a message about ourselves.

      Anything beyond this? What about, say, it being important to know how class or other distinction operate within a given society?

    8. shows who you are as a person

      again this is ever so slightly different than "gives of signals"... seems like a minor difference, but the implications are pretty significant (for anthropologists ;) The way you put it here makes it seem like it demonstrates something factually as opposed to that it's a way by which people evaluate others

    9. gives off signals

      yes! exactly. different from "determines" as you say above

    10. it

      omit

    11. one portrays thinking of others before oneself and humility

      this is a little unclear

    12. can determine who they are as a person

      determine is a strong word. probably more accurate to say they are interpreted by others to indicate one's social status

    13. ones

      one's

    14. This example shows that white communities need the help of other races to keep society going however, because of their superiority complex they cannot admit it. 

      this sentence isn't grammatically correct without a semicolon between "going" and "however." But more importantly, is this what the author uses this example to show?

      The author says "these discourses function to withhold subjectivity from nonwhite residents in small-town communities and shore up the boundaries of whiteness by keeping Latino immigrants scripted into stories... about conflict between demographic groups..." He is saying immigrants are integral to the local economy and society, but I'm not sure he's making an argument about superiority complexes...

    15. connected to race

      connected it to race?

    16. The language that the author using food with politics

      doesn't make sense

    17. the argriprossers

      Agriprocessors

    18. check, Ice

      comma needs to be a period or semicolon; it separates two complete sentences

    19. Neubert Chrsitopher

      Christopher Neubert

    20. Postiville

      Postville

    21. Postville Iowa was a small town and the town was predominantly represented by white people

      This is a repeat of the sentence above.

    22. represented

      represented where?

    23. Postville Iowa, Postville Iowa

      in Postville, Iowa. Postville was a small town

    24. This example shows that after Donald Trump was elected president, people were more outwardly racist, they drove away a business that would have benefited their economy simply because they did not want immigrant laborers. 

      I'm not sure this is quite what Neubert is getting at... he says right after this example "this chapter will...discuss how political geographies are realized not through actions taken by distant politicians engaging in statecraft through legislation or nation building but through the messy, difficult everyday relationships that shape and are shaped by discourses of the nation-state."

    25. Prestage farms believed racism was the main concern. Many residents of Maison city had voted for Donald Trump in the 2016 election. They did not want Latino immigrant workers to come into the city.

      This is an important point, but it's more than that Prestage "believed" racism was a concern, they publicly "accused 'kooks' of stirring up racial tensions, and claimed that 'racism is alive and well in Mason City'" according to the author.

    26. Maison

      Mason