144 Matching Annotations
  1. Oct 2017
  2. Jul 2017
    1. Could memory unite us?

    2. Republican patriotism and memory

    3. This is a theoretical attachment and not enough to unite the nation.

    4. Lincoln's response to immigrants and how they still believe in the creed of our fore fathers.

    5. Joining conservtive and progressive forms of patriotism.

    6. Abraham Lincoln as knowing all three versions of patriotism

    7. Qualifier for Trump as not being an exceptionalist.

    8. General truth for Progressives

    9. General truth about liberal view.

    10. What does this exceptionalism mean to our role in global affairs?

    11. Generalization of truth for Conservative.

    12. Yes!! This is the conundrum right here. What about how we have developed and transformed. And since creeds are aspirational in nature, are these aspirations centered on what was, what should or could be, or both, or none of these?

    13. What is patriotism? Does this issue of not knowing how to be patriotic become especially polarizing around holidays or elections? Is it always on the back burner continuing to simmer?

  3. Aug 2016
    1. book talks

      Encourage learners to create their own reading plans. What will they read now that they've heard the book talks?

    2. read on log

      Reflections vs. logs. It should be reflective not punitive.

    3. Examples of Authentic Assessments

      Does this include research? Where does this fit in? Still, I believe personal anecdotes from people who live in particular places on earth, living particular contexts.

    4. Examples of Authentic Assessments:

      Partnering with libraries to create reviews, posters, trailers, etc.

    5. Blog postings


    6. (5-finger rule

      What is this? No one at the table knew.

  4. Oct 2015
    1. Syrians and others across the globe.

      Well done. Could you end this a bit more convincingly?

    2. Apparently they were funded by Obama administration according to

      Is this important to your argument? Don't forget the US will be represented at the Summit.

    3. esult of the desolation that ISIS

      Well supported points, here.

    4. This is only made worse with the sanctions placed by the U.S and other countries. The Syrian delegation believe that the Global Goal sixteen, which advocates for peaceful communities, should be pursued. By getting rid of these oppositionist and terrorist groups, Syria can reconstruct the country for its people.

      Strong, clear thesis with relevant historical background.

    1. Nigeria  economically due to Boko Haram’

      Need evidence.

    2. he

      Who is "he"?

    3. Paragraph 4: Paragraph 5:

      Please make sure to look at the recent leadership change and examine how that has impacted achieving this goal.

    4. North causing Nigeria to lose money and it severely reduced cross-border trades with Cameroon, Chad, and Niger.

      Where is the evidence here? More analysis needed.

    5. effects

      Edit, please.

    1. believe

      These also seem like current policies so why are they in paragraph 6 and not 5?

    2. Here are some of the things that we believe

      Too casual. Ineffective transition.

    3. Pakistan people like Malala

      Sorry. Malala is not a policy.

    4. If a large population of children are not educated, the future business, marketing, government leaders for many generations of the country will be affected. Uneducated children are more susceptible for victimization and therefore decreases life expectancy.

      This paragraph wanders and needs to remain focused on the political implications.

    5. The more people gets educated, boys and girls, the more brains will have various ideas to get rid of terrorists in an nation.

      Very casual in tone and incorrect grammatically.

    6. Talibans

      The Talib? The Taliban? Not Talibans.

    7. slightly

      This seems weak and imprecise. Revise, please.

    8. f 57%, and those ages 15–24 had a literacy rate of 72% it usually depended on which the sex was. As of 2009 the male education rate it %69 percent and the woman education rate was %45 percent, and this is just ages 10 and up.

      This seems like too much data for the first paragraph. The introduction should be short and sweet.

    9. usually depended on which the sex was

      Awkwardly stated. How can literacy depend on gender? Are you saying that there is a great disparity between literacy rates of males vs. females?

    10. The education in Pakistan is one of those lacking factors that people in Pakistan would really benefit from.

      Please revise.

    1. srael’s policies are trying to make peace with Iran. They have not successfully done that, but they are working on it.

      Evidence? I'm not aware of this complete 180. Please explain.

    2. effects

      Please edit throughout.

    3. such as increased police forces, stricter gun laws, and more

      Is this in issue in Israel now?

    4. high.


    5. That war cost money leads to more debt, and more debt leads to an effect on the economy, which isn’t good, because money makes the world go round.

      Data on this, please.

    6. Israel has a strong economy, which with peace could increase even more if we solve our goals.

      Solid transitions.

    7. ,

      Delete comma.

    1. The government believes that if people were given a loan then it will increase our GDP and let the economy grow. Also gain the trust of other countries back and lift the sanctions and also start trading with them again by gaining their trust one way or another.

      A loan of? Several fragments here.

    2. The delegates of Russia have seen that small and medium enterprises have started to grow.

      Need cited evidence throughout.

    3. That economic crisis has ended but now, a new decline is starting, with the sanctions against Russia that make it harder to trade with foreign nations.

      Solid logic, but revise so it's a bit easier to follow.

    1. The black market is a common place where deals go down a

      Watch your tone. It is too casual for a summit.

    2. This causes more illegal immigration into foreign countries. Many people resort to selling illegal items to provide for themselves and their families.

      Don't forget cited evidence throughout your paper.

    3. power

      Contributes or hinders?

    4. In the past years, the country of Mexico has been plagued with the issue of poverty leaving it in need of food, shelter, water, clothing, and medical attention.

      When you say "leaving it" are you referring to the country? or poverty? Revise, please.

    1. should start negotiating

      Israel will make every effort to commence negotiations? Something more precise, please.

    2. So far the country of israel has only tried to negotiate in the 70’s but those negotiations have failed.


    3. Then it affects the rate of inequality to make it increase so it makes Israel look bad.

      Vague language here. Please be more specific. "Look bad"? And?

    4. palestinians

      Edit entire paper, please.

    5. Some of the effects from the war are affecting Israel politically.

      This should begin the next paragraph.

    6. inequality

      Explain this, please.

    7. by,

      Delete comma

    8. This is also making the hunger rate higher and lowering the GDP by almost 4% since 2014. There has been 20,093 soldiers dead and 75,00 wounded.

      Make sure your history isn't too meandering. Continue to connect it back to your goal.

    9. get peace


    10. Enough is enough and it is time to work towards Global Goal 16 peace and justice.

      This is STRONG! Nice.

    11. palestinians

      Edit, please.

    1. Our country wants to work on global goal 16.

      This should be moved up in the paper as well. Name the goal in the intro.

    2. propution

      What is this?

    3. Not only is there a power struggle between Syria and the FSA, but also between Syria and ISIS who is trying to gain control.

      More here if you want other countries to understand that it's the rebels not the government who is responsible for the chaos in Syria.

    4. They convince people not to do things by giving out false facts.

      Seems like generalization without evidence.

    5. large cost.

      How large? Evidence?

    6. last couple

      Specific dates would help.

    1. We are hoping others

      Wha type of support might you need from other countries?

    2. plan

      What's the name of this plan?

    3. The poverty rate declined to about 61 percent in rural areas but rose to 51.7 percent in urban areas.

      Don't forget your citation!

    4. Mexico has children on the streets begging for money,

      I bet you could find evidence for this. That would be effective.

    5. in the world.

      Please go ahead and name the goal in your introduction. The sooner you get to it, the clearer your thesis.

    1.  To Change

      Please edit.

    2. Russia believes that every person sustain or increase the average capita per person because that will boost the overall GDP level of the country.

      What does this mean? Please revise.

    3. men and women will obtain proper work with equal pay for equal work.

      Is there a vast disparity between gender earnings? You haven;t proven this necessary.

    4. Russia believes that jobs will help the economy grow.

      Please overtly say the name of the goal and its number.

    1. ask the people of Syria

      Is this feasible and authentic?

    2. recent years the government has been making new jobs for the people of pakistan so they can get out of poverty

      How has the government made new jobs? More analysis needed here.

    3. “Education is the key to success. Part of what Dr. Seuss said was” THE MORE YOU LEARN, THE  MORE PLACES YOU’LL GO”

      You would't see Dr. Seuss quoted in a position paper. Is there other research you could use?

    4. Well we already dropped it down the rate by 10%.


    5. It would be best

      Evidence? This seems like opinion not research-based.

    6. we have a lot of natural disasters

      Seems off topic unless these disasters also increase poverty?

    7. problem of poverty

      Use the number for the goal as well.

    1. Working together

      More specifics needed. Who could help?

    2. People often blame the government for a lack of jobs and money.

      Evidence for this?

    3. Children

      So much more can be added in this paragraph. Please also add data and evidence.

    4. 40% of the population in Mexico is living in poverty and more than 10% is living in extreme poverty.

      It would be powerful to add the number here. What is 40% of 122.3 million? That would sound larger. Make sense?

    1. believe

      I feel like there's sound documentation here, but putting the evidence in would add to the logos of your paper.

    2. We

      You need evidence throughout your paper.

    3. have experienced

      In the past? Per year?

    4. One of the many reasons we have hunger is because these resources are not available to the people

      Why? What about Iran's history? Could you give us some historical perspective that would explain this?

    5. Country’s

      Go ahead and name your country in the beginning.

    1. furthermore


    2. policies

      What do you mean by this paragraph? How about adding clear connection or discussion back to the goal.

    3. 2,198

      Let's use transition to relate back to the goal.

    4. british

      Much editing to be done. Please watch capitalization.

    1. Watch "they". You ARE the Nigerian delegates, representing the government.

    2. Para. 6

      Cited evidence needed throughout.

    3. his affects the whole country

      Go ahead and name the goal and number.

    1. aws we are setting currently

      Evidence, please.

    2. receive new allies and trading partners

      Cited evidence needed throughout.


      Cited evidence needed throughout.

    2. With peace and justice everything can go back to normal and all the jobs will be taken care of

      Please refer to goal number as well.

    3. popular

      How can a country be popular for violence?

    1.  The social status of Mexico has been very biased towards the politicians, and according to The Economist, ways to change this could be by lowering the income tax for middle class people. As Mexico continues to improve the situations in need, the support of other countries through financial aid and momentary funding will boost the country to move on to further improvements.

      Nice actions for both Mexico and other countries.

    2. FreightWatch International,

      Ensure you have parenthetical citations for each. Ok?

    3. As Mexico’s ambassadors, we are advocating and will illustrate the dire need for establishment of strong institutions and enforcement of current legal parameters to convict criminal activity.

      Can you name the specific goal by number as well?

    4. illustrious


    1. a

      Name of task fource?

    2. Corruption is a problem in all forms of government and is also found in most all governments in the world.  The political differences between the leaders of India causes over half a billion people loss of access to quality water.

      Evidence on this?

    3. This affects other people because the filters in the water system are not at the highest quality

      You connect poor water sanitation to disease, but perhaps, more connection to why we must do more about these diseases? What's the data here?

    4. ductivity and results in a lower economy.

      It took a while to get to the decreased productivity. Do you have evidence for this?

    1. 500,000 children have died just because of food shortages.

      More evidence would increase the logos AND hit the pathos since we are talking children here.

    2. under sanction from the UN

      Evidence? Edit.

    1. Currently at least 28,277 citizens have died being shot or in a mass killing most of this is the rebels.

      Cite, please.

    2. poverty.

      Go ahead and overtly discuss goal with number.

    1. Nigerian militan

      Could you tell me about the political changes that have recently been made that may impact Nigeria?

    2. Nigeria’s new president Muhammadu Buhari says that they need to start deploying more troops and will need help from other countries to do so.

      More on this, and evidence, please. What are they doing?

    3. With more justice, also comes less deaths

      Some hard data here would really makes these points hit home.

    4. Nigeria has the potential to be an outstanding nation, with everything a country would need. But because of the high violence levels in this developing country, this cannot be achieved.

      Strong intro. It communicates hope and realism.

    1. In order to reduce the amount of not wealthy people, the rich should be taxed more.

      Is this feasible for your country to accomplish?

    2. Little progress has been

      Incomplete? Such brief paragraphs. How could you analyze these more in depth?

    3. This goal could also lead to less poverty for men, women, and families because they now have the opportunity of being employed.

      Evidence throughout? How could you include more to increase your logos?

    4. israel’

      Editing needed.

    5. few scenarios

      economic scenarios

    6. ;

      Colon not a semi-colon, please.

    1. judgements together, peacefully

      Could you clarify the reasoning here? This is not clear.

    2. a huge boost from most of the population

      A boost in population? A boost in what?

    3. effects

      Effects or affects?

    4. Russia Morally too.

      Edits needed.

    5. conomically for several different reasons

      Ok. Which is it? Does is or does it not impact your country economically? You state one thing in your thesis and your next sentence says something completely different.

    1. Following Goal 5 could be a change in the way Pakistan is, and allow the two genders to be equal.  

      This gives very little information on what you want from the other delegates or what you want to achieve from this summit.

    2. Pakistan is looking to improve the social and economic status for the women of this country

      How do you know?

    3. problem

      Gender inequality negatively impacts the Pakistani political stage?

    4. education in Pakistan

      Ineffective sentence fragment. Please revise.

    5. unequal rights on women

      What does that mean?

    6. 43% of women receive less education opportunities than men, and without education you can’t get a job.


    7. conclude to make a change in the economy

      Phrasing? What about "impacting"?

    8. have been failing to keep up with men.

      What about some history on this? Is this something cultural? It might help us to understand the barriers that exist.

    1. They almost got out of that.

      Pretty informal here. What can you do to use a more diplomatic tone?

  5. Sep 2015
    1. President Obama has indicated that he will increase that number to 10,000 starting this October, but some human rights organizations, such as Human Rights First, claim this is just a drop in the bucket of what is really needed to offset the impact of the refugee crisis worldwide.

      I wonder what this means to our immediate community? I hear the rumblings from learners asking, "What if members of a sleeper cell enter?" My response "What if an Einstein or a Picasso or a Gandhi entered?"