835 Matching Annotations
  1. Apr 2015
    1. Consenting to EULAs or abstaining from a service are not adequate choices: people need a regulated, safe way to set privacy levels they are comfortable with.

      a compelling case so far.

    2. as the right to possess, use, and distribute, rather than as physical ownership

      this distinction is not clear.

    3. (Davis et al. 2013)

      good summary of some of the conversations and concerns about privacy

    4. If horror movies are the expression of our collective fears (Philips 2005), then Unfriended is the perfect case study. The action unfolds entirely on-screen, following the interactions of five friends on Skype, Facebook chat and text messages–all of which are being manipulated by an unknown stranger. As Spotify’s suggestions grow steadily creepier, gory deaths ensue (Gingold 2014). Blood splatter aside, Unfriended perfectly captures a zeitgeist of fear about information technology. The victims’ intimate encounters are watched and recorded by a sinister, faceless entity. Their inability to carve out a private space reveals a cultural anxiety about being tracked, manipulated, and exposed online.

      curious opening. You have my attention, although I had to look up Unfriended, as the opening does not make much sense without knowing what the movie is about.

    1. innovative ways

      one thing that isn't clear to me from reading yet, is what are publishers doing currently? It seems to me that there are virtually no publishers that are providing ebooks through the browser—they are all using apps. Is it really innovative then? Or is it already current practice? How would apps expand their market, if it is already what they are doing?

    2. and learning process.

      You haven't said anything about a learning process yet. Be careful of just throwing in claims like this without clear evidence or support.

    3. A breakdown of this study is shown below;

      interesting results. I'm curious as to what is included in the App Only traffic. I'm guessing video makes up a good portion of this. I'd love to see the breakdown of text-based content to see the browser/app differences.

    4. start extending services beyond their reach

      what does "beyond their reach" mean here? In what way?

    5. kobo Reading Apps “Still love its simple yet effective interface I’ve been using this app since 2011 & still love it. I now have it on 3 devices and syncs beautifully! Don’t know what people are complaining about” March 26, 2015 “About epub extension I like this app but not the way this crumbles epub book internally… besides, this doesn’t catch up epub extensions itself, so the only way is it to import if recognises the file” March 14, 2015 Kindle Reading Apps “Obviously all such apps basically do what they are supposed to, but actually I do notice differences, other than “fancy visuals like 3D page-turning.” I find Apple’s books implementation on the iPad much easier than the Kindle app. Not at all because of the skeuomorphic 3D look, but rather because of the ease-of-use” May 2, 2013 “I love my iPad and the Kindle app. My only frustration is that even though I have an Amazon Prime membership, I can’t access the Kindle Lending Library because I don’t own the actual “Kindle Device.” July 13, 2013 Nook Reading Apps “I love the recently updated version of the nook app. Shopping is easier, I can see the balance on my gift cards, and locating the book I am currently reading is easier than ever. I recommend this app to people all the time” April 3, 2015 “I love the new version of this app! It’s more like the nook. I also like that you can watch video directly from it rather than needing to download the other app” April 4, 2015.

      not sure how much value this adds. I would have preferred an analytical summary of the reviews you read.

    6. buyers

      ebook pricing is a topic of huge debate.

    7. promoting and branding their product

      this warrants further examination/explanation

    8. etc

      true. although e-readers like the Kindle have also had this feature.

    9. either

      other.

    10. number of potential readers

      its really the same potential: mobile phone users. specific apps seem more limiting—you can only reach a subset of mobile phone users, those who have installed your app.

    11. undoubtedly

      how so? By what mechanism, and what evidence do you have?

    12. comfortable

      good. Some specifics.

    13. etc

      seems unnecessary to really define mobile apps, especially to this degree. Now we're closer to halfway to your essay and you haven't gotten to the thesis.

    14. apps

      you're more than a third of the way into the essay, and we still haven't gotten at the substance.

    15. This study

      Its not really a study. Its an essay. A study implies you collected some data somehow.

    16. providing increased returns to publishers.

      all of this could use some specifics, at least in the form of citations to ground your essay.

    17. apps

      such as?

    18. Publisher’s market targets were marginalized and potential readers without these ‘e-readers’ were deprived.

      These first two paragraphs are very vague.

    19. specially designed e-readers by specific book stores

      You could be a little more specific here. This is vague.

    20. retrieve electronically published

      to retrieve from where? by who? This is unclear.

    21. its

      whose? The industry's?

    1. Hopefully this will become a trend that will encourage academics in other disciplines to do the same

      This section is at once an argument and counterarguments for your overall essay. On the one hand, it points to how academics are valuing the Wikipedia enough to get involved, but it simultaneously suggests that unless academics themselves edit on Wikipedia, the content should not be treated as authoritative.

    2. Thus, continuous real-time editing doesn’t only benefit Wikipedia’s currency, but inevitably its accuracy as well

      The argument so far, as I understand it, is that Wikipedia has mechanisms in place to counter the claims that some make about why it should not be a valued academic source.

      However, having these mechanisms in place is not enough to successfully argue that they work. You cite some good studies to support your claim that its working, but the narrative of your piece only serves to highlight that the mechanisms exist, instead of focusing on exposing the results that showcase that they do work.

    3. community of dedicated Wikipedians.

      not clear how this is a mechanism.

    4. it’s fair to assume that today’s Wikipedia content is even more accurate

      perhaps, but this would need to be empirically tested. Things don't always evolve for the better.

    5. content

      good use of references throughout.

    6. .

      you should acknowledge that Benkler himself uses Wikipedia as one of his examples.

    7. Wikipedia is an excellent example of the kind of effective commons-based peer production that Yochai Benkler discusses in his book The Wealth of Networks

      this is an abrupt shift from the previous paragraph. Start arguing your point before you put someone else's weight behind it.

    8. Even today, the “Harvard Guide to Using Sources” includes a page outlining what the university thinks is “wrong with Wikipedia.” The information on this page reiterates the most common objections to the online encyclopaedia’s accuracy: anyone can contribute to it; the expertise of contributors is not evaluated; the information may be outdated; and the entries are not reviewed by experts. [2] Nevertheless, there is evidence that suggests an increasing shift in the attitude of some academics in favour of Wikipedia. For instance, a 2013/2014 study conducted at four California State University campuses found that their faculty’s perception has shifted in favour of Wikipedia over the five-year period preceding the study

      the first part of your opening is good. It presents facts and quotes that are hook the reader and get us to understand the importance of wikipedia.

      This second part is a little confusing, in that it first pulls me in one direction—people still don't trust —and then in another direction—but people are trusting wikipedia more. I realize these two are not at odds with one another, but I find the presentation of the two creates ambiguity in which way the essay is going to go.

  2. Mar 2015
    1. Common types of social media include internet forums, social network services, weblogs, social blogs, wikis, micro-blogging, podcast, video and social bookmarking. Some of the popular technologies or tools used in social media-based communication include blogging, photo/music-sharing, vlogs, wall-posting, crowd-sourcing, and voice over IP.

      You've used your entire first paragraph in this definition now, instead of on telling me what your essay is about.

    2. The Merriam Webster dictionary defines social media as “forms of electronic communication (as well as sites for social networking and micro-blogging) through which users create online communities to share information, ideas, personal messages and other content (as video)” (Merriam-Webster)

      You probably don't need a dictionary definition. Just a general definition that you'll use would be fine. The dictionary one sounds a little stuffy.

    3. drawbacks

      you have never really said what these are.

    4. undoubtedly

      you've used this word a lot. As with your last essay, when you used the word "prove", you have to be careful that you don't rely on words that deal with these absolutes. You don't know it will, and if you do, you have to argue and convince me—not just tell me it is a certainty.

    5. about most and effective

      remove and?

    6. apps, which are another form of social media

      I wouldn't say apps are a form of social media

    7. , Facebook

      , and

    8. Undeniable of

      Despite

    9. has made facilitated

      has facilitated, or has made. Not both.

    10. presence

      two competing ideas here: use of social media to promote their services, and use of social media to improve the quality of their work.

    11. Social media would also be a great platform for editors of magazines to access information by giving the audience the opportunity to write or to be interviewed.

      again, not entirely clear how.

    12. undeniably

      not sure it is undeniable. The same? or different? better or worse?

    13. Great tools like Google docs

      Are Google Docs social media?

    14. draw insights from some other reviews and questions posted

      what kind of reviews and questions? what kind of insights?

    15. social media as a direct source of their content
    16. Amidst the arguments against social media as its ineffectiveness through virtual communication

      unclear

    17. it is seen as a new editing tool that enhances the work of editors

      I don't see how social media helps with editing. Specific examples of which social media tools and how would be helpful here.

    18. The editorial process, which involves correction, condensation and organization of a manuscript with an intention of producing correct and accurate work, is a very crucial stage in the publishing process.

      This is a quote from the Wikipedia article on Editing, and is not cited or quoted as such. This type of presentation of other's work as your own is not acceptable.

    19. what their audience wish to read.

      This paragraph is at best vague, and at worst unclear.

    20. opportunity opportunity

      twice

    21. The work of the author becomes important as they develop original written content for books

      not sure what social media as not transactional means or how this sentence relates to it.

    22. media is not transactional

      this should be in quotes. Please be careful with your sourcing. If you copy text verbatim, you have to put it in quotes and properly cite. Without the quotes, it is plagiarism.

    23. also the ease in file sharing

      how does file sharing feature into this?

    24. where does this quote start? It looks like the whole sentence and the previous one are from O'Leary, but it has not been properly attributed. Moreover, the quote has been mishandled (you're missing "crowded out")

    25. content

      citation needed

    26. and provides diverse benefits as per the us

      this is all very vague.

    27. oted for being user friendly

      is it? social media in general?

    28. LinkedIn and Twitter

      you presented LinkedIn with an explanation, but not Twitter. Be consistent.

    29. LinkedIn, which is a professional networking site allows users to request introductions to business people who are known to the contacts.

      fragment.

    30. .

      no period before the citation

    31. skills

      all of these could use citations.

    32. counter arguments

      counter arguments to which arguments?

    33. The uprising of social media has facilitated the global exchange of information and thus, could be a great tool to the publishing industry amidst several arguments against its use.

      this feels pretty far and disconnected from the opening sentence.

    34. have undergone great transformation through the invention of computers and other technological inventions.

      This is a pretty broad stroke—cave paintings to computers to social media. Perhaps you didn't need to go as far as cave paintings to make a point that things have changed quickly.

    1. If publishers and the major players in e-reading technology want to experiment with analysing reader data, all users of e-reading platforms should at least be given a clear and direct choice of whether or not they want their reading behaviour to be tracked.

      I think the conclusions go awry here. The natural conclusion from everything that preceded was that publishers should not put too much faith in the reader data, because it is unlikely to be the thing that improves their bottom-line in the short or long term.

    2. People should have the right to keep it that way.

      this paragraph is not a conclusion from what you've written. It is either part of the motivation for your argument, or it is part of the argument itself.

    3. his constitutes an unnecessary invasion of privacy for e-reader user

      This is a whole new argument, and has little to bear on what you've already discussed.

    4. Genre fiction provides a unique case in which publishers may find it worthwhile to take e-reader data into greater consideration, but this is a topic that’s too large to be discussed within the scope of this paper.

      If you're going to include this, a one-line or half-line explanation of what makes genre fiction different would be useful. Otherwise, probably best to leave it out altogether.

    5. how could publishers let e-reader data affect their editorial decisions

      one argument could be that people have the same reading habits, no matter what format. And so it is akin to having a 15-20% sample.

    6. such as a Kobo, can lead to inaccurate analysis, since it doesn’t provide a complete overview of how readers engage with e-books.

      fair point.

    7. These potential causes of e-reader data inaccuracy show that sales and reception continue to be the most effective ways to evaluate a book’s success.

      I would argue that they tell us different things. They are not substitutes for, but complementary.

    8. Since e-reader data isn’t matching up with other clear measures of success, it’s logical to question its accuracy.

      Question it, sure. But it'll probably turn out to be an accurate reflection of what people do.

    9. However, the e-reader data released to date has shown that the titles with the highest unit sales have actually had low completion rates

      This makes sense to me. A book becomes popular, so people buy it because they hear others talking about it, but not because they are really committed to reading it.

    10. sales and critical reception, which includes literary awards

      this was already clear from reading his quote. feels repetitive here.

    11. ength is one factor that Kobo has attributed to low completion rates. [7]

      you're introducing too many things in this paragraph, without wrapping any of them up.

    12. his is a powerful yet highly questionable statement because what can be viewed as ‘catering to the masses’ may help generate fads, but not classics.

      This is a strange sentence to have tucked into the middle of this raw paragraph. It seems like a key thing you'd wan to argue for, but if that's the case, it needs to stand out more.

    13. buyers

      still, clear thesis.

    14. completion rates of their nonfiction

      but you mentioned other kinds of data in the previous paragraph, not just book completion

    15. often a lack of correlation between such data and other measures of a book’s success

      source?

    16. Surely, there is an argument to be made there, but this assertion should not be accepted as fact — or at least not yet.

      Good setup and presentation of thesis.

      I do find the phrase "there is an argument to be made there" a little weak, mostly because it is only indirectly saying what you want to say.

    17. [1, 2, 3, 8]

      good to see sourcing for a claim like this

    18. Unlike in George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four, however, people today are being watched by numerous companies and agencies, not just one Big Brother.

      always good to hook in 1984

    1. This reversal on Amazon’s part sets a precedent,

      no in the legal sense

    2. A machine cannot read with proper pauses or intonation.

      and what if it could in the future? Would that change this? Is the definition of an audiobook fixed on it being an actor reading it?

    3. Macmillandictionary.com,

      how was it defined in the lawsuit brief presented by the author's guild.

    4. audio book rights

      still not clear what audio book rights are. Audio books themselves don't have rights. Do you mean, the copyright of the audiobook version of books?

    5. also claim

      claims

    6. Why would Amazon undercut their own audio book sales, for which author are compensated.

      its the job of this essay to tell us, isn't it?

    7. They lauded it as a great victory for authors everywhere. But was it really? What did they actually achieve? As author John Scalzi noted: “Has it escaped the general notice of folks that the same company that is putting out the Kindle is also the same company that owns Audible.com? Yes, Amazon owns both, and I don’t really see the company trying to put one section of itself out of business with the other.”

      another long quote.

    8. even though no legal precedent was set, a recognizable precedent was set nonetheless.

      was one set or not?

    9. reversed course to maintain good relationships with authors, not because of legal concerns.

      This makes sense. I would have been curious to read a discussion of the implications of this decision for Amazon's long term goals

    10. Some may argue

      who are these some? The other side of the argument has been conspicuously absent

    11. There is also the question of TTS itself. “There shouldn’t be anything controversial about TTS: it’s been available on personal computers since the 1970s. It’s important to people who have impaired or no vision, but little used by anyone else. However, the Authors Guild argues that the audio rights for a book are different from the reading rights, even if the audio is provided by a software robot.”

      another long quote

    12. ““publishers get to control a right which Congress hasn’t given them—the right to control whether I can read my book to my kid, or my Kindle can read a book to me.”

      You rely too much on quoted text to tell your story. Use the sources, but write your own words. Especially the introductory bits like saying what Lessig's relationship to CC is.

    13. “Lawrence Lessig,

      this is a curious way to link/cite. Why not link the full quote?

    14. “a work based u

      where does this quote end?

    15. Amazon would have won.

      or rather, you believe they would have won.

    16. the hassle and legal fees.

      do you know if this is the case?

    17. reached by phone late Friday

      be careful how you quote here. Use single quotes if you are quoting someone's quote, but better yet, just restructure your sentence to avoid this situation in the first place, as it is confusing to readers.

      This paragraphs has too many quotes as is. It would be better to put things into your own terms and cite, instead of quote.

    18. udio book rights.

      what are audiobook rights?

    19. Traditionally

      Despite my comments above, you've clearly stated your thesis. Linking and saying a little more about the case you're commenting on would have helped to contextualized what follows a little more.

    20. prove a point

      which point?

    21. them

      who is them? I assume its Amazon, but its not clear as written.

    22. E-readers like Kindle should be allowed to have a read-aloud feature for their e-books in a text-to-speech (TTS) format.

      clear up front thesis

    1. equitable internet

      be careful with such claims. More often than not technologies do not end up disrupting power imbalances that exist in the offline world—they often amplify them.

    2. Genius is perfectly positioned to delve into two-way linking and channelizing funds into conceiving new ways of accomplishing it.

      You are suggesting that is Genius is going to be an annotation layer on the Web, they should go to the trouble of implementing two-way linking as a feature?

    3. What makes this prospect of two-way linking irresistible is that Genius can do this without needing the permission of either newspaper.

      But this is because it does so entirely within the genius.com domain, right? If someone is on the LA Times site, they wont see the annotations at all.

    4. This is, however, still a one-way link. But, with the right backlink software, Genius will be notified that a user has linked to http://genius.com/www.latimes.com and can use bots to display the in-bound link to Seattle Times (http://genius.com/www.seattletimes.com) on LA Times (http://genius.com/www.latimes.com)

      This is not entirely clear.

    5. But how does this inform annotations?

      again, a somewhat clumsy link back to the topic of the essay.

    6. Xanadu’s provision for two-way linking

      how does it work when there are multiple links to/from the same document?

    7. In the ground-breaking Death Of The Author, literary theorist Roland Barthes wrote: “The text is a tissue of citations, resulting from the thousand sources of culture”

      abrupt transition.

    8. courtesy: www.kottke.org

      You actually check with Jason Kottke? Generally such "hot-linking" is frowned upon.

    9. closely compared side by side and closely annotated

      my reaction here is that the limitation is just the browser implementations, but I get the feeling the criticism runs deeper than that.

    10. Fonts and glitz

      its not clear how it is that fonts and glitz are the culprits.

    11. brief excursus into its fundaments is crucial to drawing lessons for online annotations.

      I like that this is where you're going with the essay, but I find the introduction to the topic and your thesis to be a little clumsy here.

    12. Project Xanadu,

      should be linked to something about the project.

    13. nascent internet community of the early 90s

      natural place for this annotation which can be found on this Genius page.

    14. vulnerable to deletion

      odd sentence construction

    15. inconspicuous and relatively decontextualized

      again. important observation that brings forth the only way in which we've really done annotations to date and shows why inline annotations matter.

    16. without requiring that the publishers provide it themselves

      good observation.

    17. In 2014, technocrats and open source crusaders from around the world gathered at an annual conference in California to ruminate over the possibilities of palliating an information-saturated internet with the use of online annotations. Conspicuous among the attendees were representatives from Genius, formerly Rap Genius, which has been provisioned with millions of dollars of VC funding since its inception in 2009. The thrust of the conference was the creation of a universal online annotation system that would not only critique and question the veracity of online content but also network it by hyperlinking and minimizing the degrees of separation between reams of webpages which might otherwise be insulated from each other.

      Great opening.

    1. the blend of subcompact and lean publishing can be monetized.

      this seems to naturally tie in to the mitigating financial risk section. Perhaps that section should have come after this one.

    2. This blended concoction isn’t synonymous with free.

      before you get to this, tell me about why the Web would have been better. then talk about the business models (which you hadn't brought up until now)

    3. Perhaps they would have found more success if they looked at the weekly as a combination of lean publishing and subcompact publishing, and went more subcompact than they did.

      good. making those connections between your two models and the quality you are talking about in this section.

    4. It lived in the digital world and had covers and content unique to it. “

      again. hinting. You're evolving your argument to the Web, but the section heading already told us where you were going, so just be up front about what you want us to conclude.

      The alternative is to have all this before the section on embracing the Open Web. That way, but the time we get to the section we're convinced.

    5. segment of readership wasn’t frequenting Newsstand

      hinting at the need to publish on the Web, but again, not stating it directly.

    6. He continued, “We need to be where they are. We have the content, now we have to deliver it.”

      how is this about the Open Web?

    7. By embracing the open web, Mod and Armstrong ensure that our blended concoction of lean pub and subcompact publishing is based on HTML 5 even if the product is destined for iOS and Android ecosystems.

      Say this more directly: The vision of both models is best fulfilled by publishing to the open web, and the more natural way to do that is HTML5.

    8. e turnaround time afforded by the lightweight publishing tools Mod and Armstrong support.

      Is using lightweight tools enough to fulfill the vision of subcompact publishing? I see this as a good case for LeanPub, but it is less clear to me that community involvement is a good way of stripping away the excess.

      I would be more convinced by an argument that stripping away the indirect way in which newspapers gather leads today and replacing it with lightweight tools achieves LeanPub and Subcompact Publishing.

      Same end result, just an argument that speaks directly to the main quality of each model.

    9. Clayton Christensen’s work cited by Craig Mod,

      broken link.

    10. For new publications in the digital world, taking all measures to reduce financial risk when advertising value and reader support remain low is an imperative.

      I am not sure I understand the distinction between financial risk and low cost, if you're trying to make such a distinction.

    11. But perhaps McSweeney’s is the smart publisher here: I would hazard a guess that the budget for Snow Fall—just one of the tens of thousands of pieces that the Times publishes annually—could financially fuel McSweeney’s several years over.

      Your point in this paragraph is a muddled. You bring up a lot of examples of things your reader may not be aware of, all to make a relatively simple point.

    12. Compare subcompact with epic publishing, a term used by Jon Lax to describe everything that subcompact publishing isn’t: think McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, and then think the New York Times’s Snow Fall piece

      introducing three different things in one sentence is a big burden on your reader.

    13. Financial Risk

      a little abrupt. You mention financial risk in the previous section, but you haven't told us what you're actually doing with the essay, and what this section and the following ones will do.

      I'm guessing it is to explain what the hybrid looks like from the lens of these three, but you could stand to make it explicit.

    14. Blending these two manifestos will give new digital indigenous publications a framework to reduce financial risk, build and leverage community, and reach readers across the open web.

      not sure I like the term "digital indigenous publications", but this is a clearly stated thesis.

    15. no oil-and-water separation. No nasty kale gobs.

      good imagery. Natural place for links to some images.

    1. The common findings from all the researchers is that enhanced ebook have their benefits, and when used in moderation can be a great supplement to reading, but are no replacement for a young child’s print books.

      I understand this to be your thesis.

    2. adjustments need to be made specifically in regards to multimedia elements.

      This is a good suggestion, and one that would have been good to help give the essay a little more direction.

    3. tudies have also been done on children older and further along in their reading ability. Research done by Luca Colombo and Monica Landoni found that in the age group of 7-12, enhanced ebooks provided a better reading experience than basic ebooks (Colombo et al. 135).

      some good research synthesis so far.

    4. including mood setting music, interactive elements, and moving scenes.

      You should state this aspect before the quote above. Although the quote does not talk about these aspects so I wonder if it is relevant to the point you're trying to make with this.

    5. Context and picture exist in print as well

      ah.

    6. Enhanced ebooks do not challenge the young reader as much as print versions do, and children who lack comprehension skills in reading will compensate with “context clues or picture supports” (Zucker et al. 52)

      also good, although I wonder if this isn't true of all children's books anyway? Isn't that why they have pictures in the first place?

    7. The two important strands of skills needed to develop literacy are “the ability to rapidly decode printed words, and the ability to understand and construct meaning from the language of a text” (Zucker et al. 50).

      good.

    8. This is especially harmful at ages when children are first beginning to read.

      based on research? or on speculation? citation needed.

    9. New enhanced ebooks from the publisher

      You're presenting relevant information about how enhanced ebooks are done, but I feel that up until this point the essay is lacking a clear narrative.

    10. and is defined by a study on

      as is defined? Not sure what you mean here by this study's definition of enhanced ebooks.

      Seems you've been using the term throughout the essay, and to offer a definition this late calls into question what came before.

    11. students

      are they students or just children?

    12. With research against them, parents not entirely sold, and high costs associated with making these enhancements, publishers might want to refocus their enhancements into ebooks for children of an older age where they have been found more beneficial.

      This looks like the first presentation of the thesis of your essay. It comes a little late, as by now I have been wondering where you're going for two paragraphs.

    13. during an age

      which age is that?

    14. many researchers support basic ebooks

      who are these many that do support? citation needed.

    15. nd are harmful to the young child’s reading comprehension by setting the text aside and focusing their attention on moving images and interactive gamin

      citation needed.

    16. childrens

      children's

    17. Even with parents not entirely sold on e-technology for their children, publishers have gone ahead and adapted the basic ebook even more creating “enhanced ebooks”.

      Curious to know some stats about number of sales of children's ebooks, which would explain why publishers would invest in the market.

    18. Without any concrete research presented to them, parents feel this way mostly because they want their children to have the “same pleasant book-reading experience they remember from when they themselves were children”, and also because they want to preserve the sensory experience of flipping pages of paper (Zickuhr, Pew).

      Overall, a good opening, although I would have liked to have gotten a glimpse of what aspect of this issue or what position the essay is going to tackle.

    19. minor children

      what's a minor child?

    20. he book as an object has been taken apart and put back together in an electronic form as long as the technology to do so has been available. Books have appeared as floppy disks, CD-ROM’s, cassette audiobooks, as applications on tablet devices, e-readers, online and more. These changes trickle their way down the publishing stream and find themselves in the exciting and colourful world of children’s publishing.

      I am intrigued. I like the content of this opening, although it is a little start-and-stop when reading it.

    1. To succeed, publishers will need to learn to value reader’s engagement on its own terms, rather than as a direct lead-in to sales. They will have to make sure their texts are easily shareable and clippable, and use the data they gather to inform marketing and production as well as acquisitions.

      good points for the closing, but I can't help but feel they could be stated more strongly. The key point here is that if publishers are going to be the ones to embrace altmetrics, they have to be fully prepared to become data-driven organizations. Otherwise, they will only be providing information to their competitors without reaping many of the rewards.

      I see it as more likely that others (say, a new startup that is borne out of the Publishing Program at SFU with the help of a MPub student) would begin to offer altmetrics/analytics services to authors before publishers realize they should sign on and start capturing analytics for all of their titles.

    2. their own impact as a press is measureable too

      good point. This alone would probably paralyze them.

    3. compensate for the fact that far fewer trade books are accessible online for free or through subscription services as compared to academic books and articles.

      I wouldn't say this compensates for fewer books available online that academic articles. What I think you could say here is that it gives potential for even richer metrics for trade publishers than for academic ones.

    4. This data should include reader engagement with purchased books (such as time spent reading and completion rate);

      they could get this from Kobo, right? I can see a Kobo metric.

    5. However, with trusted, recognized measures of their impact, they could turn their book into a better job, a speaking engagement, or a more profitable contract, just as an academic leverages high metrics into tenure, promotion, or increased funding.

      again, good analogy.

    6. Down in the tail, where distribution and production costs are low (thanks to the digital technologies), business considerations are often secondary. Instead, people create for a variety of other reasons — expression, fun, experimentation, and so on. The reason one might call it an economy at all is that there is a coin of the realm that can be every bit as motivating as money: reputation. Measured by the amount of attention a product attracts, reputation can be converted into other things of value: tenure, audiences, and lucrative offers of all sorts.

      oh, all of this is a quote. This is too long for an inline quote, and probably too long for a quote at all.

    7. “The Reputation Economy: “

      where does quote start?

    8. they filter existing published content to help it get into the hands of the right readers

      how? I think this sentence is a little backwards: they can help the right audience filter content to find what they are interested in. As I first read your sentence, I understood you to mean that the metrics could be used to find the right audience.

    9. they fill

      it is to fill (to go with "the purpose")

      Or simply "the metrics fill"

    10. These concerns are valid, and I am not suggesting that impact metrics should be the only consideration editors use to drive decisions. The purpose of these measures, as with academic altmetrics, is not solely to inform acquisitions.

      always good to hedge.

    11. Trade publishers could develop similar factors for text novelty, genre, and subject, and test them accordingly, to help them assess incoming manuscripts

      I'd be surprised if there hadn't been some studies that tried to do this. None of this involves going to the Web for metrics, and it would be a simple principal components analysis.

    12. interesting

      agreed.

    13. “In recommendation networks, the more times a text is recommended ‘by’ another text, the higher its prestige value. In review networks, where the links (based on co-occurrences) have no directionality, it is even simpler: nodes with the most links are the most prestigious,”

      great find.

    14. If many people look up, in order, an obscure word used in Chapter 1, a song reference in Chapter 2, and a movie referenced in Chapter 3, they are engaging with the text across media in a way that is valuable to the publisher.

      I like this idea, though you'd have to work out how you'd track this, since number of queries for a given string is not available. One idea would be to set up a website for the book that contained information that would be likely to come up as a search result, so that they could then look at their analytics and see which query strings brought readers there.

    15. Publishers could also track fan fiction online

      Again, a little more detail is needed here on how this could actually be done.

    16. There have been a few attempts to measure social media sentiment towards academic articles.19 Trade publishers may wish to expand upon these attempts and track sentiment across social media, since readers will be unlikely to pick up a book that has received overwhelmingly negative reviews.

      a little too early in this section to bring up sentiment analysis. More detail is needed on how altmetrics could work for fiction publishers: what metrics are actually available that could be easily gathered from APIs or otherwise.

      It is only after you have been successful at gathering mentions of a work that you can analyze it for sentiment.

    17. To compete

      abrupt. A new paragraph with a better link to bring us to the need for social media would be helpful.

    18. they favour mass-market bestsellers

      the same argument can be made about altmetrics. Curious how you'll handle this later on.

    19. acting on the assumption that the public was just like them.

      this sounds like something I caution your class not to do all the time.

    20. Fiction publishers invest in their authors in much the same way universities invest in academics

      good analogy.

    21. And it works

      Well, kind of. They do "work", but they are not generally thought to be predictive of citations with only very moderate correlations. The Eysenbach paper shows that highly tweeted can predict highly cited, but this is not the same as being fully predictive (low tweets does not mean low citations, for example).

    22. altmetrics, or article-level metrics
    23. This paper will examine these metrics, then explore the challenges and opportunities for trade publishers in building similar rankings for themselves.

      clear thesis stated early. good.

    24. Gone are the days of red ink-stained editors straining their eyes over a slush pile, a pack of Marlboros and a glass of cheap scotch their only company in the dim, slatted light of their tiny office. Today, editorial acquisitions are increasingly driven by sales data.

      You're up there with Mike's essay for best opening so far.

    1. it needs a Rocky moment, where after getting beat down, it picks itself off the mat and comes back with a vengeance. But unlike Rocky II to Rocky VII,

      I really want to like this metaphor, but I am confused in what way the industry lets itself get beat up.

    2. The good news is that ebooks within the subscription platform don’t carry a direct price, and, in the publishers’ eyes at least, shouldn’t devalue the print price like selling an ebook version for .99 cents does.

      valuable point to raise about the perceived value of an ebook, but this is a new idea that you're introducing pretty late in the essay.

    3. 70% of that goes to publishers

      this is how it works now? link.

    4. 100,000,000/month in ebook revenue alone

      would be good to show your calculation here.

    5. mainly because of its perceived value.

      the phrase "perceived value" still seems vague to me.

    6. Can you imagine a site that had just about any book you could want on it? Including newly published works? For only a few dollars a month? One could only imagine how quickly, and how vast that network would grow.

      careful with rhetorical questions. What if I don't know the answer to them? It is better to just state the conclusion you want me to come to.

    7. relinquish their front lists (new books). Our hero will have to change that.

      I can agree with this, but again, I don't think you had made a case that other subscription services are failing because they don't have this. Or that a hero needs to save consumers from the awful experience of having only access to backlists.

    8. Secondly, it needs to provide a community not only for subscribers, but for publishers as well.

      Where did this requirement come from? You hadn't alluded to it anywhere yet?

    9. greater perceived value and that outdoes its competition at all levels to ensure that network

      vague. What does "greater perceived value" look like"?

    10. Without a network

      You haven't really made the case for the need of a network of readers.

    11. There is a cost associated with digital subscriptions, and figuring out the break-even point (which is a complicated calculation) would be critical, but it’s not rocket science to know that the more subscribers you have, and the longer you keep those subscribers, the more your costs like Customer Acquisition rate and Churn rate decrease.

      None of this serves as an argument that 2.99/mo is a good price point

    12. often written by authors not yet out of high school

      citation needed.

    13. It will have to be different enough to raise eyebrows.

      Everything in this paragraph are things you've just now suggested the hero needs and, conveniently, your proposed hero has them. But nothing I've read so far has convinced me that this is the case.

    14. a small picture of what’s out there for publisher’s a

      Yes, you've done that. But what you needed to do was give us a small picture of the crisis that the industry is facing and show us how none of the current players can resolve that crisis. That would set you up to talk about your hero (now that we'd know what the job requirements are).

    15. What Vessel has done

      This is the first time you bring Vessel up since the introduction. They are the hero of this story, but featured pretty late in the plot.

    16. Supernatural

      Seems like its only $114. And why choose this show as the example?

    17. it’s not heroic.

      why not? It seems that you're picking your definition of heroic based on the qualities of the company you've chosen as the hero, and nobody else qualifies.