835 Matching Annotations
  1. Feb 2015
    1. how they want it.

      which is how?

    2. hybridize

      What does this mean in this context?

    3. printing companies,

      What's the argument for needing print? I'm not convinced by what you present here that printing is Wattpad's future. They could continue to be an online environment, and producing only digital books.

    4. It would need to

      I'm taking exception to your use of 'would need to." It seems you are proposing one possible avenue for Wattpad to do that, but it is certainly not the only one.

    5. This term would need to change. The “royalty-free” wording would have to be removed and replaced with an amendment that gave set royalties to Wattpad for any monies made from User Submissions. A “right-of-first-refusal” clause would need to be implemented as well. This would affect less than .01% of all Wattpad users and only those generating significant income from their works.

      You are assuming that WattPad's revenue would come from the author's monetizing their own content and Wattpad collecting royalties. That clause does not preclude Wattpad charging for access to the content through their site, nor to Wattpad having other revenue generation based on the content.

    6. Case in Point:

      not a sentence.

    7. But what sort of strategy would be needed to take on the role of a publishing company? Actually, Wattpad is already a publisher.

      If they already are, then why are you asking the question?

    8. It’s going to take a very long time to recoup $46 million through native advertising

      You are straying from the opening point about the scoops of chicken feed.

    9. (actually closer to 70 million to date)

      which is it? 46 or 70?

    10. publishing.

      Your writing seems to assume that the reader knows what is at stake—I still don't know what is the food? Is it just readers? If so, why do I need millions of dollars and millions of networks to get them?

    11. here will be two things needed to rise above the rest going forward: dollars, and by that, I mean tens and hundreds of millions; and networks, and by that, I mean tens and hundreds of millions. So let’s rule out traditional publishers, even the big multinationals.

      I find this to be too conversational. It felt OK with the opening, as something to grab attention, but not as the general tone of the essay.

    12. The most obvious answer

      Before you get to the answer, I would have liked an explanation of what is the food. Why are we between scoops?

    13. So who are the “smart chickens?”

      You have my attention

    1. entertainment industry itself needs

      I could argue that the entertainment industry is being very successful with its current strategy of doubling down on copyright law and getting policies in place and court cases in favour of their claims. Why do they need to reconsider?

    2. Because downloads are copies and not stolen physical objects, this argument is weak and unsubstantiated

      I don't find this is enough of an argument to be convincing. I could counter that every copy is a lost sale of the digital file, and that in that sense, it is the same as a stolen physical object.

    3. inevitable copyright revolution

      inevitable by whose account?

    4. The

      We are two thirds of the way into the essay and this is where we are getting to your ideas on what needs to be done re: copyright laws. Up until now, it has only been a factual account of the case.

    5. DHT

      Who/what is DHT?

    6. titles

      Two paragraphs of pure fact, but no hook yet.

    7. The Pirate Bay, founded in 2003, is a peer-to-peer (P2P)

      An opening paragraph full of definitions is not the gentlest or most engaging way to bring someone into your essay.

    8. Perhaps the biggest advantage, however, is that users have control over their experience and are able to share anything they want with any modifications they choose.

      control over what aspect of the experience? Not sure this is accurate.

    9. References

      what's the distinction between something that makes it into your Works Cited and into your References list? How did you use these, if you did not cite them?

    1. “since the earliest days of the web, a new genre of literature has grown in the margins of creative writing. Variously called electronic literature, interactive literature, new media writing, network fiction or locative narratives, with connections to both video games and digital art, they contain graphics and images, are digitally produced, interactive and multimedia. They can be cross-platform, multiply authored, geo-locative and dynamically and algorithmically produced”

      again, too long a quote.

    2. I was going to argue in favour of Daly and Bjarnason

      not appropriate language for your essay. Don't tell me what you thought you were going to argue, just argue what you're going to argue.

    3. his process of research and discovery

      If I understand correctly, you're suggesting that they do not like digital because they don't like the tech, but they would do better if they had input in the development of the tech.

    4. they are unhappy with the current technology

      unhappy how? how would you argue this, based on what evidence?

    5. format transitions

      again, it is not clear what you mean here for someone who has not read Bjarnason

    6. format extensions

      what do you mean here?

    7. in keeping with 1990s skepticism

      whose skepticism?

    8. it seems apparent from the Daly and Bjarnason articles

      don't write as if your reader has read the articles

    9. reshapes content—and us—as well

      the meaning of reshapes is a little ambiguous here

    10. “to be successful online, a magazine [or other publication] can’t just take what it has in print and move it to the electronic realm. There isn’t enough depth or interactivity in print content to overcome the drawbacks of the online medium… If people are to be expected to put up with turning on a computer to read a screen, they must be rewarded with deep and extremely up-to-date information that they can explore at will. They need to have audio, and possibly video. They need an opportunity for personal involvement that goes far beyond that offered through [for example] the letters-to-the-editor pages of print magazines”

      Quotes this long need to be separated out into a blockquote. It is a little too long for my liking.

    11. And yet, perhaps not in the sense that the developed technology is insufficient, as they would suppose, but that, as Michael Baskar suggests, publishers have ignored a meaningful discussion around the importance of digital context affecting creative content.

      convoluted senstence

    12. then, only seven years old

      depending on what constitutes the birth of the internet. The World Wide Web was only a couple of years old.