These reasons include honesty, women gaining access to multiple partners, and the challenge CNM poses to conventional heterosexual nuclear families

In virtually every society of which anthropologists and sociologists are aware, men (and especially wealthy or elite men) have been able to access multiple female partners, either as wives, concubines, courtesans, mistresses, or prostitutes (Zeitzen 2008). While monogamy began with men intending to pass their accumulated goods to their biological sons and gained popularity with the spread of Christianity (Coontz Citation2006; Ryan and Jethá Citation2010), it has never fully eclipsed polygamy.

Traditional monogamy was a practice in which very young women and men married as virgins and were each-others’ sole partner for life, becoming celibate when the other died

Having sex for pleasure or recreation is immoral – according to many Christian religious traditions

Polyamory as a specific form of CNM began in the 1970s (Sheff Citation2012) and has grown in popularity dramatically in the last 10 years

All of these forms of CNM share the crucial characteristic of negotiating access to multiple lovers, distinguishing CNM from infidelity (also known as cheating or adultery) which is not negotiated, but rather conducted in secret without the other partner’s consent

olyamory also differs from swinging, another form of CNM that emphasizes heterosexual couples swapping partners for sexual novelty or having group sex, usually in a semi-structured setting like a house party, sex club, cruise, or resort (Gould Citation2000). Both less structured and less heterosexual than swinging, polyamory is also not as well known among the general public.

Polyamory is a form of CNM that emphasizes emotional intimacy among multiple partners. It differs from polygamy in several ways, most notably that polygamy is a form of marriage with multiple spouses frequently embedded within a religious community (Zeitzen Citation2008). The most common form of polygamy (both cross-culturally and historically) is polygyny in which one husband is allowed multiple wives, but wives are not allowed to have multiple husbands (Zeitzen 2008).Footnote1 In contrast, many polyamorists are neither married nor rooted in a religious structure that advocates polyamory. People of all genders are allowed multiple partners in polyamory, not only men. P

The broadest category of CNM is the open relationship, which gives little information about the specifics of the structure beyond the fact that the participants have agreed on non-monogamy. Some people consider their relationships open and identify with other categories of CNM as well

Polyamory is a form of consensual non-monogamy (CNM), a category of relationships in which the participants negotiate multiple sexual and/or romantic partners.

there are at least three real reasons for this deviance assigned to polyamory, including honesty, women negotiating access to multiple partners, and the challenge it poses to heterosexual nuclear families

he most popular academic books on the subject of love and relationships are based on theories that describe the dynamics of monogamous relationships

polyamory can evoke emotions such as betrayal, disgust, anger, or fear

it means consent to maintaining sexual relations with more than one person; secondly, it allows romantic feelings towards a few people at the same time. In a mono-normative culture, each of those transgressions is automatically associated with cheating, which is a situation where one person suffers harm and the continuation of the relationship is in question.

They consider people who are polyamorous as devoid of the significant psychological resources necessary to establish good relationships

psychologists and sexologists perceive polyamory as incompatible with the principles of healthy love

polyamory is a favored form of CNM and is more positively evaluated by society than other forms of CNM

other studies have shown that people in CNM relationships (mainly swingers) report higher levels of excitement and lower levels of boredom (Bergstrand & Williams, 2000; Gilmartin, 1974; Murstein et al., 1985). They are also characterized by stronger social bonds and lower levels of anomie as compared to monogamous people (Gilmartin, 1974). Research also indicates a stronger ability to cope with jealousy in people who engage in CNM relationships

certain differences between people who enter CNM relationships and those who prefer sexually and emotionally exclusive relationship models. Studies claim that people who choose the latter relationship styles have more positive childhood memories (Gilmartin, 1974) and maintain closer relations with their families (Gilmartin, 1974; Twichell, 1974) than people who have nonmonogamous relationships. Some research also indicates that people in CNM relationships seek psychological help more often

The groups score similarly on personality traits scales (Twichell, 1974; Watson, 1981), and on mental health indicators such as alienation, depression, anxieties and phobias, life satisfaction, self-esteem, neuroticism, paranoid ideations, psychoticism and hopelessness

consensual nonmonogamy (CNM). The term is used to denote relationships in which the partners consent to having sexual, romantic, or intimate relationships with more than one person

the partners’ consent to romantic and sexual relations with other people as well as the possibility of maintaining a common household and collective parenting

polyamory” is used to denote “the practice of, belief in, or willingness to engage in multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships with the consent of everyone involved”

most individuals practicing polyamory report making agreements, or freely chosen rules with their partners regarding intimate behaviors, preferred level of knowledge about other partners, and so forth [9, 12]. Agreements are particularly salient and important to sustaining primary relationships in polyamory for multiple reasons. In order to make agreements that facilitate other relationships while protecting the primary relationship, communication amongst partners about their relationship, needs, and expectations is essential.

it is conceivable that these relationships could be more likely to pass for monogamous partnerships or cover an individual’s polyamorous identity than secondary relationships, providing one potential reason for more acceptance from family for primary relationships

Rusbult’s Investment Model [32–33], based on Interdependence Theory, proposes that motivation to maintain a relationship is the product of four variables: (1) investment size, or the direct and indirect resources (e.g., time invested, cognitive interdependence, plans for the future) that represent the ways one is bound to the relationship; (2) satisfaction, or how rewarding the relationship is; (3) quality of alternatives, or the degree to which one believes that one’s needs could be fulfilled in another relationship; and (4) commitment, or the subjective representation of dependency, experienced as a feeling of psychological attachment to the partner and desire to maintain the relationship [31]. Relationship commitment typically arises when one is highly invested and satisfied, and perceives that there are no better options to one’s current relationship. Commitment, in turn, promotes relationship persistence.

highlighted the fact that polyamory is not widely accepted and is a socially stigmatized relationship

Approximately 25.8% of individuals who practice polyamory have experienced discrimination

Due to the mixed feelings towards primary-secondary relationships within the polyamory community [8], and vast differences in relationship configuration, we therefore limited our sample to polyamorous individuals who personally identified one partner to be primary and another partner to be non-primary

Polyamory includes many different styles of intimate involvements, however, most polyamorous-identified individuals report having two concurrent partners [12], and one of the most commonly discussed polyamorous relationship configurations is characterized by a distinction between primary and secondary relationships [13–14]. In this configuration, a primary relationship is between two partners who typically share a household (live together) and finances, who are married (if marriage is desired), and/or who have or are raising children together (if children are desired) [9]. Partners beyond the primary relationship are often referred to as non-primary partners or ‘secondary’ partners. A secondary relationship often consists of partners who live in separate households and do not share finances [9]. In general, secondary partners are afforded relatively less time, energy, and priority in a person’s life than are primary partners. Furthermore, a secondary relationship often consists of less ongoing commitments, such as plans for the future

polyamory, which refers to an identity in which people philosophically agree with and/or practice multi-partner relationships, with the consent of everyone involved [4–7]. Although the term polyamory indicates permission to engage in sexual or romantic relationships with more than one partner, the nature of these relationships and how individuals approach them can vary from one person partnering with multiple people, to members of a couple dating a third (triad), to two couples in a relationship with each other (quad), to networks of people involved with each other in various configurations

CNM relationships are those in which partners explicitly agree that they or their partners can enter romantic and/or sexual relationships with other people

Participants reported less stigma as well as more investment, satisfaction, commitment and greater communication about the relationship with primary compared to secondary relationships, but a greater proportion of time on sexual activity with secondary compared to primary relationships.