Not saying I wouldn’t be disappointed if you did, just that I would understand.

considering you are about the only good thing I have got going in my life these days

I genuinely do not know.

Confusion, because your offhanded mentions of your childhood still manage to leave me with more questions than answers every time. Concern, because I know how horribly I used to treat you, and if your live-in cousin was indeed anything like me… And his parents let him?

You are actually serious about almost being sorted into Slytherin, aren’t you?

Salazar, Harry, have you ever even tried to simply go with the flow?

And once again I beat you, 10 to 9 this time

hung up on him

I promise

Is this your wistful inner poet talking, Draco, or have you been sneaking down into the wine cellar again?

but you’re not a monster, Draco. You never were.

Us, sharing a dorm in that creepy underwater dungeon of yours, sharing the same table for countless meals in the Great Hall, fighting for the same seeker position on our house team? Of course, you wouldn’t have stood a chance against me, but then you’d probably have cheered me on from the stands instead, wouldn’t you? I mean, who knows? If we were housemates, this never-ending feud between us might’ve never existed… Imagine that…

no one else

I think I already decided right then and there that I didn’t like you, after only a few minutes of conversation, and once you mentioned that you expected to be sorted into Slytherin, I instinctively knew I wanted to end up anywhere but.

the same bigotry, the same narrow-mindedness, the same xenophobia — just at opposite ends of the spectrum. The difference between your situation and mine, though, and what probably shaped us so differently despite growing up with such similar parental figures, is that yours loved you whole-heartedly while mine basically hated my guts above everything else in the world.

In fact, there’s nothing saying I wouldn’t have been just as coddled and spoiled as you, had I had the pleasure of growing up with my loving parents instead of with my bigoted, narrow-minded aunt and uncle.

If there are, it’s all too subtle to put a finger on, but I can swear the place feels brighter somehow, more welcoming. And I might be imagining it, but I think the air feels easier to breathe.

He learnt that lesson the hard way the winter before the end of the war. Deep down, he knows he can’t control who I choose to hang out with, and if I want to keep you in my life, he’ll just have to deal

but the fact that I’ve been making friends with you; the heir of his family’s generations-old adversaries

It’s always the same with them: Hermione, ever the analytical researcher, is quick to look at the situation objectively, trying her best to understand and asking a hundred and one questions on her way. Once presented with enough facts and relevant arguments, she usually has no trouble accepting the truth and starts trying to make the best of it. Ron, on the other hand, is all feelings and action, quick to judge and stubborn as all hell. Once he’s drawn his rash conclusions, right or wrong, he’s hard to convince otherwise. Plus, he can hold a grudge like no other.

about

Ludicrous

The name was also intended to refer to your striking emerald eyes.) But if you prefer the seductive enchantress analogy, who would I be to deprive you of that joy?

I thought we were in agreement on this thing between us being a friendship, so why shouldn’t we be able to call each other by our first names if we wanted to? You certainly seem chummy enough with all the other Slytherins to refer to them by their first names, and I bet you don’t know any of them even half as well as you know me by now. Not even Theo, despite the closeness you two shared a few weeks ago. (Because it was just that night, right? Or are you two an item now or something?)

Your wistful philosopher

Who would we have been, you and I, if we had been born to each other’s parents?

There were probably hundreds of opportunities for me to make other choices than the ones I made, thousands of moments where I could have said or done something different than what I did. Yet, at the time, it did not feel like there were. At first, because the beliefs my father had ingrained in me seemed too solid to ever warrant questioning. Later, because my bone-deep, Slytherin self-preservation convinced me obedience was my only chance of survival.

And seeing as my father was my hero, it never occurred to me that there might be reason for me to question this unspoken agreement, not to mention him or his views. Not that I was even aware there were other possible standpoints to consider, to be honest. With the manor being so secluded, located in rural Wiltshire, basically in the middle of nowhere, it was not difficult for Father to shelter me from all those wicked, alternative fallacies growing up.

In many aspects, I probably still am.

it was not until I got older that I realised this was not the case for every child

Although I reckon it will be hard for her to face it, I cannot help thinking it might also do her some good; hopefully, give her some kind of closure.

regret

have chosen to trust me with this.

I seriously hope this won’t be a matter of concern in regards to whatever it is that we have got going here

and you always kissed and made up eventually, didn’t you, Harry

Maybe I could ask her to share the memory with me someday, once I get out of here

If nothing else, then just for the enjoyment of watching you squirm

scandalous

How the hell do you figure that to be an appropriate name for my inner snake?

I’m honoured to know you find me trustworthy enough to share your inner musings, whatever they may be. And no matter how hard you try, I’m fairly sure no letter of yours could ever darken my mood. Not really.

It just doesn’t compute in my head.

Call me proud, but I kind of want to be able to manage this without external help if at all possible. (Well, apart from yours, of course. I’m quite sure I’d never be able to do this without your insightful advice.)

See, I can’t seem to stop calling it that. Maybe you should take it as a hint to write some lyrics to it one of these days?

song

grinning like the kneazle that got the cream.

Honestly, I don’t know if he’ll ever forgive me for letting the snakes in on the secret before him, no matter how much I try to explain it was all by accident

To his credit, Theo tried to mollify her, telling her I probably have everything under control (Haven’t you, Harry?), but when she continued to glare exasperatedly at me, he turned to me and said, ‘Maybe you should just tell them, mate?’ So, I did.

Some Gryffindor I am, right?

Nah, it’s just his usual Saturday bug

my Draco

Disclos(et)ed

inky black lashes

Not that I don’t love being your dirty little secret — I do — but, well, I hope you are not planning to keep me in your closet forever.

us

promise, you will be the first to know.

fifteen-year-old boy brought up with the idea of his father as an infallible man, this was nothing but. Growing up, no one ever told me what happened after Riddle disappeared that first time, that night when you got your famous scar. No one ever told me how quick my father had been to deny all connections with the man, how he had managed to embody the term ‘turncoat’ like none other in the aftermath of Riddle’s downfall. Had I known then, it would not have been as hard to put the pieces together, to understand why Father suddenly acted like someone was out to get him, like his demise might be lurking in any corner, nook, or cranny he passed. As it was, though, I just knew something was terribly wrong, and no matter how much I wished it wasn’t so, the father I once knew was gone forever.

Cotton candy is indeed American for candy floss.

Coming from you, that must surely be high praise

Speaking of the two, I did divulge the existence of our correspondence to Mother the other day. After you told me she had written to her sister, I could not help but keep an eye on her at noon last Saturday, curious to know whether she would receive a reply or not. She did. So I decided it would be safe to mention my exchange with you. Again, no specifics, but I showed her the photograph of Andromeda with you and Teddy that you sent me for my birthday, and I can swear there were tears pooling in my stoic mother’s eyes as she took in the sight of her sister’s features for the first time in almost three decades

A surefire recipe for petulance and resentment if there ever was one.

pop your cork

Whatever was I thinking, suggesting something so utterly ridiculous?

Your

Andromeda got one too, from her sister…

I don’t doubt you’re a man, Malfoy, I really don’t. And if it irks you so much, feel free to go ahead and name my inner snake at any time. I’m curious to know what you’ll come up with.

and then suddenly you just… I don’t know. I’ve been considering your intriguing revelations

What do you usually draw? Would you at least tell me that?

you're such a bloody tease

American

gorgeous exquisite lovely. And you were right, it is soothing. The perfect winding-down soundtrack after another crazy day of training. It seems no matter how many times I listen to it, I can’t get enough.

and please don’t let this go to your head, you smug twat — the best part of my week was all courtesy of you.

And it wasn’t like Sirius ever liked being here, which isn’t strange considering his past and what this house likely represented to him. It was lawfully his, but at the same time, he had been disowned by his own mother, blasted off the family tree tapestry in the 1st-floor drawing-room, and I don’t know if the house remembered that and decided to stay loyal to Walburga rather than him, but it sure as hell didn’t seem like the house liked him very much. Not that the feeling wasn’t mutual.

Yes. Although, since I have always known I would end up with a woman regardless of my proclivities, I tried to ignore it for a really long time

help you find some clarity in that constant inner chaos of yours

Your house counsellor and smirker extraordinaire

As if anyone would want to see them if they did.)

but no, they are not available for your scrutiny — nor anyone else’s

I promise you the house will not leave you disappointed once it comes around.

make sure to treat him well. He is connected to the house’s magic and the house will be able to tell if the elf is content and being treated well. If he’s not, the house will act up on his behalf. If he is, not only will the house sense it and reflect his contentment, but the elf will also happily take care of the general cleaning and maintenance so you can focus on other things.

Not that Blaise and I were ever really serious, but… her? Of all people?

What exactly is your Achilles heel, Harry James Potter?

I guess it goes to show just to what lengths you are willing to go when being challenged. Rest assured I am going to remember that for future reference.

We’ll just need to loosen up your hips a bit, work on those vertical undulations, and I am certain you will be fine

You have always been rather awkward in your body, haven’t you? (Except when you are on a broom, of course. Then you suddenly turn into a ducking natural for some reason too elusive to grasp.)

It goes without saying I got through the training with straight Os

Have you always known you were gay

lots of other ways to have fun.

Maybe you’ll just have to show me sometime.

Feel free to be proud of me at any time. I never would’ve done it if it weren’t for you.Your daredevil,

The masculine scent, the rough stubble, the low, growling sounds he made…

I said it with a laugh, but he merely smirked and drawled, ‘Did he now?’ with that one-sided brow-raise he does that always makes him look just like you. (Is that some extra-curricular class they teach in the Slytherin common room after hours, by the way? Individual brow-raising, sneers, and infuriating smirks? I bet it is.) Anyway, then he offered. And I know kissing shouldn’t be like that, like a favour between two friends. I know there should be feelings involved for it to really make sense. But I did it anyway. I let him kiss me. And I didn’t die. It was different, yeah, but not at all horrible. In fact, if I’m to be honest — which we’ve agreed to be here, right? — I rather liked it.

I kissed a boy.

life. If nothing else, then as a cautionary tale, hehe. No, but seriously. Offering up your story to the public might even gain you some understanding from those out there who still are thick enough to believe a young child can be solely responsible for its own values and beliefs. No, you weren’t a nice kid, Malfoy, far from it — at least not to me and my friends — but looking back, even I can realise those ideas of supremacy and bigotry you used to live by were not ones you conjured up by yourself but parts of the narrow-minded worldview you inherited from your parents growing up. I can’t speak for everyone, of course, but at least I, for one, would be most intrigued by the possibility to read — yes, I read, you insufferable git — about your view of it all, of your experience of the war and your part in it, provided the story is yours and not written by some scandal-seeking journalist like mine. (Yeah, you’re probably right. I wouldn’t have wanted to talk to them. And maybe I’m naive, but I still think I should have a say in what’s published about me, especially if it’s promoted as the ‘true tale’.)

Please tell me there are pictures of baby you in that stack too? I bet toddler Malfoy from his adoring mother’s point of view would be a sight to behold. Do you draw too?

I’m starting to grow quite fond of him.

You had a cat named Cotton? That’s quite a peculiar name for

your reassurance

That’s probably the most personal gift I’ve ever gotten. Thank you.

but Merlin, Malfoy. You wrote me a song?

So, no alcohol for you then. Good to know!

I usually get quite flirty and thoroughly irresistible. And horny… Is that really something you think you could handle, Potter?

Your Dancing Queen

Will you have some fun for me too, tonight?

Have you ever experienced it, Potter? It is most liberating.

not-really-invitation

I dare you to at least try kissing one before you write the idea off altogether

there is someone out there waiting just for you; someone who sees you for who you really are, someone who isn’t bedazzled by your fame or repulsed by your scars. Maybe this special someone is even already in your life? What if all it would take was to open your eyes and your mind to the possibility?

Salazar, you should see some of the sketches and watercolours she has made throughout the years. Most of them are stills, depicting flowers, insects, or other intricate details of nature the rest of us tend to overlook; the delicate veins of a fallen autumn leaf, the graceful curvature of a winter-bare tree branch, the multicoloured shimmer of a beetle’s shield caught in a ray of sunlight. There are several of the peacocks too, of course, and quite a few of Cotton, my childhood cat who spent most of his life sprawling on the sunkissed tiles of the sunroom while she did her best not to trip over him.

gives me hope that she will one day be all right.

if that is indeed something you are willing to share with me at some point

would you have agreed to talk to them? Would you have taken the time to meet with them and answer their questions? Because I don’t think you would

As if anyone would ever be interested in reading about my total failure of a life.

I might actually have been flattered by your praise regarding my writing skills.

we all know and

I will not bore you with any frivolous congratulations, though

Instead, I attach something else that I hope you will enjoy.

I am not even sure why I bother writing to you this week, seeing as this letter will probably just get lost and forgotten in the sea of greeting cards, gifts, and fawning fanmail drowning you today

Saturday 31 July 1999

Either I get an evening of free beer or I get the pleasure of drinking you under the table. Hmm, I wonder what Drunco Malfoy is like… Loud and testy, or weepy and whiny?

I can understand why Snape barely tolerated the sight of me.

Your

Have you ever considered becoming an author?

Has anyone ever told you you’re good with words? Because you are. Really good

I’d invite you to come

Just not right now, okay?

In fact, the more I think of it, the more I’m convinced that I probably should

Can you hear my eyes rolling, Your Highness?

Really fucking hilarious, Malfoy. You twat.

as you make it sound.

Your Majesty,Don’t worry, my queen

thumb up your farce

Challenge accepted. I look forward to being treated to free drinks all night.

I have no doubt they will take every chance they get to rib you about it, even in front of others (albeit more subtly), trying to make you crack. That has always been their modus operandi, at least to my experience. I bet they are going to have a field day at your birthday party.

I’m sorry. I just re-read that, and just to be clear, when I say magic, I mean lightening and steadying spells, not Imperio.)

I bet she knows more about him than most, though, considering how long they have known each other, even if she was a few years his elder.

Well, I just don’t know how you can presume I would be able to trust you on this so easily.

If he loved her, should he not have cherished any child of hers, especially if you were the only thing left of her on this earth after she passed away?

he was pining after your mother?

Care to tell me what happened there, by the way, Mr I-Can’t-Be-Bothered-With-True-Love? Because after being laughed off as a hopeless romantic mere months ago, I am quite surprised by this sudden nonsense about eternal, unchanging love.

Because that simply cannot be true

in this relationship

At least you possess one of the two.

Old magical houses are often petulant like that. And resentful. If you want it to warm up to you, you will have to earn its trust and reassure it it will not be left abandoned again.

I thought they were supposed to be your future family-in-law? At least that was the impression I got when we touched upon the subject a few months ago, you being all set on living up to other people’s expectations by settling for the easy and predictable? Is that not the plan anymore? Have you actually decided to go for the toe-curling passion instead?

Did you manage to avoid the ‘Inquisition Squad

Consider the door open.

thumb out of my arse

I’m glad to know you have her there with you.

Let’s-Secure-Your-Standing-With-the-Noseless-One.

It’s astounding what you’re willing to do for the ones you love, isn’t it?

Still want to go to that quidditch match with you, though. We’ll just have to come up with a way to keep from hexing each other and I’m sure we’ll be fine. Oh, how about we turn it into a challenge? The first one to hex the other pays for drinks at the pub afterwards?

it’s like you bring it out of me.

I know it must be hard to believe, but I do intend for these letters to lighten your mood, not the opposite.

bittersweet

Yeah, I already know what you’re going to say; that I should just man up and start acting like a responsible adult, right?

Sirius

like the broody black sheep in a flock of cheerful ginger.

Cornwall

Molly

what with the weather allowing for being outside and all

You’re asking me if I can imagine the two of us getting married? Merlin, what a ridiculous thing to ask. Nice to know you are dreaming of me not dying for once, though, and that I’m apparently able to put you in a good mood.

There may be some moments I wouldn’t mind saving, but overall, no. Feel free to open that door at any time.

Sev was a brilliant mastermind, a true Slytherin, and everyone knew he was Riddle’s spy, not the other way around.

How did the N.E.W.T.s go, by the way? Were they as nastily exhausting as they are reputed to be? Have you received your results yet?

Maybe we should just stick to those muggle sports you mentioned instead?

getting on a broom or just being able to hold a wand again, if just to cast a simple Lumos. Or how about just being allowed to take a breath of fresh air?

before I found you

Here. Home

Ha, bloody ha. I’m glad I’m not superstitious then, because Monday night, I dreamt about you. Again. At least, this time, I didn’t have to try to save your sorry arse from mortal peril, so I guess that’s something. But you and me marrying? Godric, can you even imagine?

Can’t believe I’ll be leaving this place in just a few days, and for good this time.

Have you given any thought to what you’d want to do once you get out of there?

What a shame

Honestly though, I kind of like the idea of going to a match with you sometime.

I guess I’d better just show you sometime instead. If

we’ll just have to make some new ones for you to use, right? Because I can’t wait to find out what form your patronus will take.

if praise was what I wanted from a friendship, I could pick any flailing fan from the street.

Rather, I was hoping we’d be able to open the door and set it free, let it run away to bother someone else for a while. And if it happened to get lost somewhere out there, all the better. I can’t say I’d miss it. Would you?

So that’s why you’re always in such a good mood on Saturdays? Interesting.’ With that smug smirk of his that makes you want to thump him in the mouth. Insufferable twat is what he is

I naturally jumped at the chance, thinking I wouldn’t want to upset you with another hungover mess of a letter in the morning.

And I guess we all had a bit too much to drink and I don’t really know how it happened but I kind of ended up telling Nott and Zabini. About you, I mean.

Dream boy Malfoy,

Are you seriously suggesting we’d be able to start over, to leave all that behind us? It is an awful lot of animosity to sweep under the rug, Potter, do you honestly think we could do it? That we could just forget it? ‘Call it even’, as you say? I am not saying I wouldn’t want to — I do. In fact, I cannot think of anything else I’d rather do if I could.

That you will marry the one you dream of on the night of the Summer Solstice? I will keep my fingers crossed that you will be able to identify your future spouse this year.

It doesn’t matter how fit and perfectly toned my body becomes, as soon as I strip down to my pants, all those rippling muscles are overshadowed by a multitude of ugly, white lines even paler than the natural hue of my formerly perfect, porcelain skin.

I could offer you my exceptional fan-repellant skills, and maybe you could stave off the most ardent death eater haters in return?

Maybe we Would you If you wouldn’t mind being seen in public with me, maybe we could go together sometime?

Pansy

Rather, I fear I don’t have any happy memories strong enough to draw from

if you want that something to be me, there is not really anything I could do to stop you. Besides, I kind of like being your dirty little secret. Just as long as you don’t plan to keep me in the closet forever.

self-preservation is in their cores.

not that I think they would, had they been presented with the possibility.

Just because you never qualified for any of my compliments in the past does not mean you never could, nor that I wouldn’t be able to deliver one whenever I find it appropriate. Not that I expect it to happen all that often with you — it is you we’re talking about, after all — but rest assured I will let you know on the rare occasion I deem you worthy of my praise.

Well, while I commend your effort, I am unfortunately unable to give you more than an Acceptable in Charms for the time being. However, I do recognise a potential for more, and I am certain that, if you set your mind to it, you have what it takes to reach an E or even an O with a bit more practice. So keep on trying, my friend, show me what you’ve got. Enchant me.

Not that it really was a hard decision to make

And at least you’ve got a well-toned body going, don’t you, Adonis?

I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t

Thank Merlin

he was the Order’s bravest and most loyal spy

Good thing he never figured out you’d already won its loyalty

Have you ever wondered what form yours would take?