If you want, maybe I could help?

Because you can’t seriously be out to compliment me, can you?

I can easily see you in all the professions you mention

Fuck. Now I feel like the most selfish prick ever. Merlin, I’m sorry, I will tell them, I promise. Not today, though — I’m not as stupid as to deliberately distract Hermione this close to N.E.W.T.s week — but maybe after the exams are finally over and done with?

you all to myself

our

for some reason

By this stage, either you know it or you don’t. At least, that’s how it is for me.

How do you know I am an Arrows fan, by the way? I don’t recall ever talking about favourite teams with you.

My bare chest is not a pleasant sight these days, and I guess I should only be grateful if I ever find anyone willing to give it a second glance without a look of disgust — or even worse, pity — on their face. Not exactly the best conditions for sexy times, if you know what I mean.

I can assure you all vital parts of my body are still intact and fully functioning so you are free to look me in the eye at any time.

A risky decision perhaps, but look how it turned out. I can’t very well say I am disappointed by the outcome of that particular leap in the dark.

Just a quiet lab somewhere, where I can brew in peace and hopefully gain enough trust to be able to offer my potions on the market at a reasonable price.

You want to know about my current career ideas?

I also happen to recall you being quite good with animals and other creatures, or have you forgotten about your first encounter with that menace of a hippogriff? And if the rumour mills have not deceived me, did you not — at age fifteen — teach a whole bunch of teenagers how to conjure a patronus? From what I have heard, that spell is not an easy one to master, let alone teach.

Sev is gone? I am aware you never liked him much, but as you already know, he has always meant a lot to me. I am almost afraid to ask, but do you know what happened to him? Would you care to tell me?

I am still not sure that I can truly believe it, I probably won’t until she is actually here, but your confirmation gives me hope that it will indeed happen. And soon. Merlin, there's not even a month left now. I should start preparing her quarters this upcoming week

garishly

Yes, the envelope came through; thank you so much. That was very thoughtful of you. I want you to know that although I have been fighting the urge to open it all week, I did not do so until I woke up this morning. I have already pinned the photographs to my wall, right here above my escritoire. I cannot deny seeing our respective friends mixed together like that feels all kinds of strange, but it is nice to see everyone again, if only in picture form. So I take it you have told them about our correspondence now, then? How did they take it?

I cannot believe you remembered my birthday.

I include a second envelope with this letter — one that you’re not supposed to open until next Saturday.

Please tell me it didn’t cause any permanent injury to anything vital, or I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look you in the eye again.

the poor man

I want to earn my place like everyone else, for my knowledge, my skills. How else would I ever be able to keep my self-respect, not to mention gaining any respect or trust from future co-workers or subordinates?

we’ll come up with

of course a praise-hungry prick like you would suck it up like a dry sponge and take it as a sign you were destined for brewing

dat

Actually, come to think of it, maybe I should take a step back and let you do just that. Surely, you’d prefer to exchange letters with one of them instead of me. I can’t deny that I’ve come to look forward to our weekly thing, but if you’d rather write to any of them just let me know, all right?

Melodramatic Malfoy,

If I never have a satisfying sexual experience again, it will all be his fault.

Like when you are being deliberately cryptic and refuse to make any sense; it makes me want to be in the same room as you, just so I could pin you to the wall and keep you there until you deign to explain yourself.

With that in mind, I am honoured, if not baffled, to know you actually do consider me a friend. And no, I do not plan to break your trust by selling you out to the press — not that they would ever believe me if I tried. If you remember, I was the one proposing a friendship between us in the first place. (An offer you, not so politely, declined, I might add.) Now that you have finally taken me up on it, who would I be to ruin it? Even if I do not understand how you could possibly trust me after all we have been through, I appreciate the fact that you do. I never thought the time would come when you confided your secrets to me rather than Weasley or Granger, or anyone else for that matter. And yet, here we are. A plot twist I bet no one could have foreseen, not even Madhatter Trelawney

who says society will ever let me pursue my dreams?

shell

Circe, why must you always assume the worst of me? Apparently, I am not the only one with a high score on their Misinterpretation N.E.W.T.

do not worry. Next year I will be right there with you, keeping the crowds at bay with my ferocious death glare. That is what friends are for, right? I told you you should always keep me close.

I just… had the opportunity to come back.

I swear they wouldn’t have been in this hopeless position if they’d only let me play. At least we’re not the only ones suffering this year; your old team could’ve really used your talent last week against Hufflepuff. If you’d been there, I’m sure the badgers wouldn’t be in the lead right now.

I mean, I’m quite sure I still want to become an auror, but how will reality ever measure up to my expectations now? When I’ve imagined my future with the DMLE, I’ve always envisioned us doing it together, him and me, come rain or shine. Now what? What if I’m partnered with a jerk, or a total bore? Or even worse, a fawning fan… But it’s not like I have that many options, do I? I mean, what else is there for me to do? Fighting dark wixen is the only thing I’m good for, the only career I’ve ever considered. I don’t know, I guess I just need some time to adjust to the idea of doing it without him.

I’m not entirely sure how to feel about it, to be honest.

I feel like I can’t read you as well as I’d want to

I’m pretty sure you’re feeling the same.

I’ve told you stuff I’ve never told anyone else.

As you say, an Expelliarmus would’ve sufficed just fine, and instead, I went with an unfamiliar curse, unaware of what it would do to you.

awfully brave man

Now, where was my wicked ex-death eater fan repellant when I needed him the most?

If so, that might be the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard

Have you ever tried meditation? It should help with your insomnia. At least it helped me.

kazoo or perhaps an ocarina

The only time you have any resemblance of control over your body is when you are on a broom

How do you feel about it?

Are you immune to the AK curse or something?

Now, there’s a scenario I never would have expected.

Not that I will ever understand why you chose to do that; you certainly did not have any reason to.

Should I maybe feel special for not having been given the usual Expelliarmus treatment you offer to everyone else?

I should be able to survive as long as you promise to stay true to your word too, allowing me to insult you whenever the urge gets too overwhelming.

very hard to wrap my head around.

I know better now; I know you don’t want to be called a hero, I know you don’t like the attention. Still, it is going to take me a while to wrap my head around the fact

we both will have to learn to live with somehow

This time of year has always been my favourite, when the world comes back to life after the cold and darkness of winter, when brooms beg to be ridden and summer is lurking just around the corner.

One year of being locked up, of being alone with my thoughts, of being haunted by the past. One year without fresh air. One year of being excluded from the world and everything happening in it. One year of guilt, grief, regret, sorrow, remorse — without anyone to share it with but my former nemesis…

the moody melancholy in some of those songs is bloody brutal. Based on them, I bet you’d love muggle artists like Tracy Chapman, Sade, and maybe Alanis Morissette.

Apparently, my presence on that bloody stage will somehow ensure eternal peace among witches and wizards throughout the country, if not the whole continent. Yeah, I know; it’s fucking ridiculous

Your guess is correct, Narcissa saved my life on the night of the final battle, lying straight to Riddle’s face, telling him I was dead when I wasn’t. If she hadn’t, he would’ve tried to kill me again, and although I should probably let her tell you about her motives herself, I know she did it because she was eager to get into the castle and find you, to make sure you were all right. Yes, I testified for her, but you don’t owe me anything, Malfoy. None of you does. Testifying for you both was the least I could do after you’ve both risked your lives to save mine. If anything, I’m the one indebted to you after what happened in that bathroom two years ago.

I bet you’re really good at it too, what with your long, dexterous fingers and you being all studious and determined.

No, apparently he’s realised he doesn’t want to become an auror anymore.

You, my depraved friend, are a cruel, cruel wizard for alerting me to the existence of their sex life; I really didn’t need that in my mind.

If you still feel a need to insult someone, I’m sure yours truly will suffice as the sole target for your stupid bullshit for years to come.

I know I’ll have to say something eventually, but since I still have no idea how best to tell them, I’m afraid you’ll have to remain ‘my dirty little secret’ for a while longer, if you don’t mind

I don’t want to end up with a potions addiction, and if I start taking it, I fear I’ll never be able to live without.

Of course, as soon as I realise it, the moment is gone, but still

Those days, I wonder if I’ll ever be able to fully recover from the war.

Dicko

Hm, interesting…

Am I your dirty little secret then

Way to console me and my soon-to-be insane brain, you berk

Circe, I still haven’t got over your decision to testify for me, and now you are telling me you did the same for Mother too? I will forever remain in your debt, won’t I? No matter what I do.

It feels like my fingers trip up on the keys constantly, but ham, I had forgotten how much I like playing.

Dragon Dust, on the other hand. Listen to their third album and then try telling me you have heard anything as good as them.

Or maybe he is in need of sex advice?

like him wanting to ask you out on a date or something. Or

ducking shell

around. Is it part of your haughty upbringing, not being allowed to curse or something, or are you just being snotty on purpose, to rub your refined superiority in my plebeian face?

Maybe scratch him behind the ear for a bit? I bet he’d like that.

I wish I could send you other things too, not only letters.

What do you talk to yourself about?

Sirius used to talk to himself all the time, and whenever someone caught him doing it, he always laughed it off saying it’s what always gave him the best answers. And each time he did, Remus told him ‘talking to yourself may get you the answers you want, but not the ones you need’.

out of my head

. I never told them she only did it out of fear of losing you in the battle, but maybe it would comfort you to know that. She does love you, you know, more than anything.

us

Your friends never talk about him, not within my earshot anyway, and when I asked Zabini about it the other day, he was being very evasive, wondering why I was asking and so I didn’t pry any further

but I can’t think of anything, other than it must be something bad — otherwise, he wouldn’t hesitate to tell me, would he?

I still can’t shake the feeling there’s something else he’s not telling me.

I could make a qualified guess

I hope you eventually decided to go to the Weasleys for Sunday brunch. Holidays are meant to be celebrated with family, and anyone who has one should not spend them alone.

topic. It does not matter who it is, because even if the feelings were reciprocated — which I can safely assure you they are not — biology would never allow the two of us to produce the heir my lineage will require for its survival, all right?

Surely, he must have more important things to do with his time than discussing my mother’s upcoming house-arrest with you. Frankly, I still struggle to take in the fact that the Wizengamot would ever let her off so easily. Are you really sure she only got one year of imprisonment? Why?

Thank you for looking into her case, by the way. I didn’t mean for you to go so far as to contact anyone at the Ministry for further information, but I am grateful that you have. I

Sev

often felt the same

I can very well imagine it would be hard for the remaining one to cope without his brother, but at least he has the rest of his siblings who are, hopefully, there for him, his parents, and plenty of friends to boot. Greg has no one.

I cannot imagine Greg taking it all that well, being left behind like that; suddenly alone from one day to the next. He’s never been good with change, that boy.

You’re not excluding him on purpose, are you? I seriously hope not

I honestly don’t even know what to say.

Fraterniser

jealous

Do you

If you weren’t stuck in that place, you might even have sat there with us, all haughty sneers and witty retorts.

The only thing he really does during our study sessions is reminding me of you, which isn’t helpful in the least.

McGonagall’s many post-war integration projects are the new inter-house study groups

Every bathroom in the castle.

I’m not sure there’s any place around here that doesn’t hold a memory or two that involves you in one way or another. (And don’t even try to tell me the reverse doesn’t hold true for you too!)

I’m sorry if my last letter made it sound like I’m walking around here all day missing you. I’m definitely not. More like all the memories of you insisting on creeping up on me and getting on my nerves at every opportunity.

He hasn’t been himself ever since, as if he’s lost a limb and can’t figure out how to function without it

They’ve grown up with it, they take comfort in all the hustling and bustling in a way I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to.

I promise I’ll do my best to keep it legible this time.

Under the willow by the lake

There is a spectrum between straight and gay, you know, and according to some, it is not even a greyscale but a bright, colourful rainbow. Personally, I have always counted the bis the luckiest ones; after all, they have twice as many candidates to choose from…

Why do you want to know about my dates, really? It cannot be that you are jealous, can it?

cum

Not that I am curious or anything

It almost sounds like you are missing me more than you previously let on, Potter. Care to tell me more about those locations and people that trigger the memories you mention?

I may not be able to marry the love of my life, but I hope to one day learn to love the wife my parents choose for me.

They can support me all they want, but if I don’t produce an heir with a pure-blood witch, I will no longer be a Malfoy, will no longer have access to my home, my vaults, or my assets — and my millennium-old family line will become extinct the day my father dies.

surely your muggle relatives must have taken good care of you, especially considering who you are? Not all muggles get to raise a national celebrity like the Chosen One, after all

with the best intentions and with Mother’s and my well-being at heart.

and that I, if I am lucky, will one day be allowed to belong to that world again when this is all over.

because you have given me something to look forward to now, and I sincerely do not know what I would do if it turns out you were not telling me the truth

I have not heard such good news in literal years

Probing

You’ve dated You’ve dated boys? Seriously? How come I didn’t know about this? Who? When?And you think you can dare me into becoming gay? Ha. Good luck with that.

If I hadn’t been at Hogwarts, constantly being reminded of you by random glimpses of memories brought on by the sights of certain locations or people, I might’ve even forgotten you still existed.

valuable information

Narcissa will be out of Azkaban in only a few months, actually. She got one year in prison plus two additional years’ of house arrest. I still haven’t gotten any straight answers on how the Ministry plans to execute it, but with a little luck, you might actually get some company come July.

You’ve dat

You are correct that I don’t get it; so tell me. I do want to understand.

I have no doubt your parents love you more than anything in the world

That’s a rather big step for you, isn’t it, allowing yourself the benefit of the doubt regarding your supreme excellence?

Maybe you would’ve preferred it if I’d never replied to you at all, way back in January? Now that you know what it’s like to be quill pals with me, I bet you regret ever writing that initial letter to me in the first place, don’t you?. Well, tough luck, Malfoy. You’re stuck with me now. Me, and all my linguistic flaws.

Death by grammar; now wouldn’t that be something?

Delicate Delico

Does that mean you actually think I’m pretty?

PS Yes, I have dated boys. Of course, I have. So much more exciting than girls, in my opinion, and if you do feel awkward around the ladies, why not try it? I dare you.

If I am not mistaken, tomorrow is Mother’s Day, is it not? I wish I knew where my mother is; I wish I knew if she is even alive. I have not seen her in almost a year, since that morning when they escorted us out of Hogwarts after the final battle. I reckon she was sent to Azkaban too? The aurors who transferred me here were unwilling to offer me any information on the matter, but maybe you know how her trial went, what sentence she got? If you do, would you please tell me? I miss her so deeply

it pains me to think that you consider not aiming for the moon and the stars when you, unlike me, have nothing to stand in your way of doing so

I am first and foremost an heir, a vessel for a bloodline and responsible for the continuation of an ancient lineage. It does not matter what I wish or desire. It never has.

do not resent the limited exposure to alcohol in my life so far.

Seriously, Potter? Five spelling mistakes in the header alone? Four expletives in the first two sentences?

I usually prefer to retain control of both body and mind these days whenever possible.

Yes, as the humble and caring person I am, I would be happy to be there as your guide, offering you my unconditional support every step of the way, kindly pointing out your every shortcoming until you are eventually able to identify them yourself.

grateful or offended

Would you be so kind as to promise me not to write to me unsober ever again? I’m not all that sure I would be able to survive it.

Your fucking unbelievable, you know that?

lion

And No, of course I haven’t dated a boy. Why would I? Have you?

Can’t really see who’d be interested in marrying you, tho, but I’m sure there must be someone out there for you, just waiting to be swept off their feet by you’re unparalleled charm and scatting wit. At least your pretty you look ok, so there’s that. 

passionate sex life

If you don’t want to follow conform to the idiotic intolerant traditions of those inbred brats prissy twats, then do’nt.

Seriously, M, what the fuck happened to you?

As if you actually longed to experience emotions like that with someone someday

I’ve known you

Okay, M, I’m here for you now. Let’s do this.

pretty well too, until there’s suddenly no later left to… D’you know if there’s a cure to recurrent prorcas porcrast procasrtination? ‘Cause if there is, I obviously need it. Stat.

Have yuo ever been drunk, M?

M

at your service

Damn it,

my inner lion does seem to be quite partial to you. I’ve tried to cage it, but the rambunctious little fellow, unfortunately, has no respect for rules and regulations — much like other lions I know of.

I am simply pointing out the irony of life

It was nothing but nauseating to witness, believe me

Marry someone who has the ability to make your heart race and your toes curl. Someone who challenges you and always inspires you to become more than you were the day before. Someone who knows all your flaws and still can’t get enough of you. Someone who makes you feel alive.

I mean, who would ever voluntarily marry an ex-death eater like me, a convicted felon?

Seriously, Potter, do you not have higher ambitions for your love life than that? You, who are able to practically pick and choose any person you like, any life that you want? Merlin, I thought you Gryffindors were supposed to be passionate romantics, all serenades and roses, knights in shining armour on noble, white steeds, et cetera, et cetera. What the shell happened?

Have you ever tried dating a boy?

I am positive this approach on the matter could only lead to disaster

had I only been able to tutor you properly in person

Do excuse my incredulity, but are you seriously asking me for dating advice? Me, who is currently a social pariah trapped up in his home, who isn’t allowed to interact with anyone but his former school nemesis and a haughty house-elf who looks at me like I am the vilest scum of the earth? Surely, you must know of someone else to turn to for help?

I just don’t know how to be around girls

prove how little you know me

I want it with someone who feels like an equal, not anyone who started out as an avid fan.

even you know that’s not who I really am

on call

the courage you showed that day when you refused to identify me is one of the main reasons I’m still alive.

Sirius

we all have light and dark within us

That you, after seven years of constantly mocking me for my rash decisions and reckless behaviour, actually dare to question my motives for the one moment in my life when I’ve been able to rein in my instinctual lion in favour of all those Slytherin traits you’ve always valued so highly

understood nothing

Should I perhaps be flattered by the special treatment

It’s interesting how you’re always so quick to jump to conclusions about me. Not very Slytherin, is it, to talk before thinking?

Dryffindor

PPS I had no idea the mere mention of my blond mane would be able to rouse such a strong reaction from you. Did my words happen to touch a sore spot?

You know you’re just 18 years old, right? Not 28.

any big plans for Valentine’s Day tomorrow

was also aware of the daughter’s relationship with Professor Lupin

Maybe, if we had studied Healing back then, you wouldn’t have stood there paralysed like a stupefied buffoon after cutting me open. Maybe you could have even healed the wounds you caused and spared Sev the trouble.

I find myself intrigued by the notion of having my preconceptions challenged yet again

Gryffindor Potions Professor seems so hard for me to imagine

I’d wager the presence of a fine role model as Professor Raywood’s will be just as effective in her cause as I imagine my own absence being. After all, no one would want an ‘unreliable, wicked git’ like me influencing the snake younglings, do they?

But of course, if there is ever a chance for me to bring a smile to your face, I am nothing but happy to oblige. Although, I feel compelled to rectify the perverted image you seem to have about me; I would never go to bed damp from anything but a cleansing shower or a revitalising bath. So, that sheen you picture on my skin every night? It’s not from clammy perspiration, but condensation from my very hot and humid bathroom, thank you very much.

I simply said I’d have appreciated a rivalling seeker to play with sometimes, and an antagonist to rile up in the corridors when I’m down and in need of an adrenaline boost. If Misinterpretation was a N.E.W.T. subject, you’d ace it.