99 Matching Annotations
  1. Dec 2015
    1. All of which makes Vint Virga's project — sustaining that illusion, by incremental changes in how the animals are treated — seem more than a little quixotic. Last August, the Costa Rican government announced it was closing all its zoos. The new policy, the government declared, was "no cages." (A court ruling has so far kept the zoos open.) I think we're moving slowly toward the same sensibility. In 25 years, there will likely still be some way for Americans to see exotic animals. But I will be pretty surprised if those places have cages, mirrors, smoke machines, and conference-room tanks for 12,000-pound whales. There may be nature preserves. But it seems to me that we're pretty rapidly reaching the end of the era of the modern urban zoo

      strong concluding paragraph, has sources and evidence

    2. It is hard to avoid the conclusion that in some way the animals understand that the world around them is an artificial one, that these phobias and psychotic episodes represent reactions to that artifice, or subversions of it.

      supporting information

    3. A giraffe who freaks out about men with large cameras, a brown bear whose cage door is the subject of his obsessive compulsive disorder, a 5,000-pound killer whale who shows her trainer who is boss by dragging him underwater for just about as long as he can live, before letting him go

      evidence, sourced

    4. I think these fabrications comprise a great deal of what zoos depend upon, and what has begun to fail: a kind of double illusion, in which the people are convinced that they are seeing animals in something like their natural state and the animals, most of whom have never lived in the wild, are convinced that they are at home

      discrediting counter-argument

      sub-claim

    5. Samuels also visits the set designers who fabricate the present-day exhibit spaces, and learns about the tricks they employ to make the enclosures seem more realistic: smoke machines, "half-slivered" mirrors, native American trees that kind of resemble those in postcard versions of the Congo

      counter-argument

    6. But I found

      unlike the last article, this author uses the conjunction at the beginning of the sentence in a more appropriate way and so far this is the only one I have noticed. the article keeps a semi-formal tone (with small interjections that lighten the mood).

    7. Now we understand that animal cognition and social behavior is for many species pretty sophisticated, and there is a new form of intelligence to define ourselves against: Not what makes us different than a chimpanzee, but what makes us different than Siri? Perhaps this is pushing us toward a closer identification with the animals and helping to shape some of the discomfort with zoos

      sub-claim, possible main point

    8. For a very long post-Enlightenment period, human beings asked themselves what made them different from the apes, and fixed on logic and reason as the highest human characteristics; zoos were a way to engage that question while emphasizing that there was a great distinction indeed.

      veeerrrryyyyy good piece of information, gets the reader thinking and is an attention getter

    9. t got attention mostly for a discovery Samuels made, in the archives, that the leading figure in the early history of the Bronx Zoo was a eugenicist propagandist named Madison Grant who corresponded with Hitler, and saw his work at the Zoo in the same vein, as rescuing the perfect form of a species before it declined. (Grant once exhibited a human pygmy named Ota Benga at the Zoo; crowds of 40,000 greeted Ota Benga by jeering and poking him; eventually, he committed suicide.) The Grant story caught on in part because it highlighted what is anachronistic about zoos.

      connecting reader using a touchy topic

    10. He spends time alone with the giraffe so she might grow comfortable with him, feeds her branches when visitors are around so she grows more comfortable with the scenario. He teaches zoo technicians how to medicate animals without freaking them out. Occasionally, for the most stubborn cases, he prescribes Prozac.

      evidence, crediting subject

    11. But most of the issues are hard to imagine arising in the wild. A brown bear develops a form of obsessive compulsive disorder, repeatedly, almost ritually, smashing his head into a metal door in his enclosure. A harbor seal is uneasy about being treated by the vet

      evidence, sub-claims

    12. though whether that actually happens still seems a little unclear to me — but this was a more modest case, that zoos are doing much less harm to animals than they once did, that they deserve credit for being re-conceived from the zoo animal's point of view. As for what the zoo animal's point of view is, that's the province of Vint Virga, the behaviorist subject of the Times Magazine piece.

      discrediting counter-argument

    13. Zoos have changed incredibly in the past thirty years," a second-generation zoo director named Mark Reed tells Halberstadt. "These days, moats and glass have replaced cages; there are education departments and conservation initiatives. And full-time vets, antibiotics and better diets have doubled and in some cases tripled animals’ life spans in captivity.” Zoo advocates tend to argue that exhibiting animals leads to a stronger conservation movement

      counter-argumenet

    14. Soon, state legislators in California and New York introduced bills making it illegal to keep orcas in captivity. SeaWorld's profits took a hit; CNN and the Times started musing about its long-term viability as a business; protests mounted. But the case against SeaWorld always seemed a little narrowly construed. If it was an abomination to keep a killer whale in a tiny cage, then why was it okay to keep a polar bear in a similarly restrictive enclosure? Sure, SeaWorld's marketing is particularly crass, but if the basic problem is that intelligent, social animals are being kept in inhumane conditions that may be driving them insane, then shouldn't that same principle apply to other species, too? It's hard to think that SeaWorld should be put out of business and not have complicated thoughts about the National Zoo. You can't just stop at the orca; you've got to consider the orangutan

      evidence, connect reader

    15. hat film's subject is Tillikum, a 12,000-pound male killer whale who had been for years a star attraction at Sea World, a celebrated run that ended when he attacked and killed his trainer immediately following a live show.

      evidence, sourced

      connecting reader

    16. One long-term 1983 study of animal mortality at the San Diego Zoo found cannibalism and infanticide, widespread malnutrition, and frequent deaths from tranquilizer use. (An online summary is included in the essay here.

      sourced, evidence

      sub-claim

    1. A more united Earth

      Is this "chapter" the end? If so, this is a poor conclusion. It goes on like a main point until the last two paragraphs. The last paragraph would make a good ending to the article, but there should be a conclusion either added before or right in front of it. Another option is to leave that "chapter" ended and begin a new one for the conclusion.

    2. The internet has no president or parliament. It has no armies or central bank.<img class="progressiveMedia-noscript js-progressiveMedia-inner" src="https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/800/1*AezeNHPJR50wa5LAVVhltA.jpeg">Concept for the International Flag of Planet Earth. This ain’t happening anytime soon.But these are the wrong things to look for. The institutions of the future bear little resemblance to the past, because we are dealing with a new form of human community.

      This is a poor opening for a thesis. It is confusing, especially first read. "Okay, cool, internet = no president, Parliament, army, or bank, but don't look for those? Why would I look for those? You brought it up, I wouldn't have even really thought of that. What does that have to do with institutions? Why did we just go from internet to institution?? What's going on??"

      If "The internet has no president or parliament. It has no armies or central bank. But these are the wrong things to look for." is going to be explained later on, then it needs to go after whatever point he is making about the "new form of human community."

      It is just thrown in. If I did this in middle school, I would be told to move it or delete it. Reading ahead, I do not even see where it would be explained before the next "chapter." The point I think he is trying to make is that we should be looking at the institutions as those that run them, but if that is really the case he needs to just rearrange this section and reword those two sentences.

    3. And even if other causes attract less attention, fundraising and awareness campaigns for global issues from climate change to Ebola all depend on the internet

      very debatable opinion

      counter argument could use this

      • why not media? why not introduce them in schools? why does all fundraising and awareness solely depend on the internet?
    4. n 2008, a 33 year-old engineer called Oscar Morales created a Facebook page, One Million Voices Against FARC, to protest against the Colombian terrorist group. Over the next month, hundreds of thousands of people from around the world Liked his page and joined his movement. And in February 2008, millions of people marched in more than 100 cities worldwide to demand that FARC come to the negotiation table. They did

      connect reader, evidence

    5. The extraordinary story of Abdul, the Syrian refugee, is repeated almost daily thanks to online communities. In July, donations poured in for a Filipino schoolboy pictured doing his homework on the streets. A crying Greek pensioner, unable to withdraw money during the debt crisis, was sponsored by a generous Australian. A New York bus monitor received more than $700,000 from 30,000 people in 84 countries after a YouTube video showed her being bullied

      evidence, sourced

      ***are the sources really credible? Many are just pictures or news articles. If the sources are not credible, then it can make the article less/not credible

    6. And far from simply generating empathy, the internet is mobilizing action.There are countless examples, large and small, of what this looks like.

      These need to be placed beside each other. Having both of these sentences separated from one another loosens the meaning both are trying to convey, because when you are reading and something is "returned"/a new paragraph, you are going to mentally put a pause/break in between. Putting in that break is going to make us subconsciously prepare us for a topic change.

    7. Where mass movements once stood for local or national interests, now online communities are moved by global interests far beyond people’s immediate lives and communities.

      needs revision

      connecting reader

      ***the longer I read this, the grumpier I get. I already had decided the author was not credible with the first conjunction thing, but it progressively got worse. I have been reading sections to my cousin and she's making the same "ew" faces that I am making.

    8. ound. But th

      This is literally making me upset.

      I understand that it is acceptable and is not incorrect to start a sentence with a conjunction, but this is just ugly. Yes, they are two clauses and it is broken up properly. If you are going to start a sentence with a coordinating conjunction you need to make sure that whatever you are writing is not going to sound all cut-up, choppy, ugly, and please, for the love of Whoever, do not do it in a formal essay/article/whatever. I keep seeing this all throughout the article and his credibility keeps dropping every single time. I have been trying not to highlight every single one (this is the last time I am going to point it out), but it is driving me nuts!

    9. First, the internet is changing the way the world thinks.In 1938, British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain famously declared German aggression towards Czechoslovakia as “a quarrel in a faraway country between people of whom we know nothing.”Prague is less than 800 miles from London.Today, planetary scale internet services allow us to connect with people everywhere to a degree never previously possible.

      Weird transition, awkward to read first time. Needs to be more "flow-y" so to speak

    10. As the internet drives social and economic progress, it strengthens the middle class in all nations and brings them into a global middle class, connected by shared tools and knowledge.

      assumption, debatable

      no sources and since this is a topic that should have a citation to show how it drives, strengthens, and brings, and connects, not credible

    11. On August 25, a Syrian refugee was photographed selling pens on the streets of Beirut, clutching his sleeping daughter.

      attention getter, connecting with the reader

      Using a sentence like this will trigger emotion in most people and will also draw in the reader. It is interesting and the media under also helps connect the reader emotionally.

    12. As the internet drives social and economic progress, it strengthens the middle class in all nations and brings them into a global middle class, connected by shared tools and knowledge. And as the international community descends into chaos, a rising planetary community is changing lives and communities everywhere — and bringing the world together

      thesis/main claim